A/N: Rating is for language, Kakashi and Sakura have potty-mouths. Just my little drabble on what it would be like if Kakashi had a drug addiction. Inspired by "Better Than Drugs" by Skillet. Implied Kakashi-Sakura pairing, more friends that anything. Tell me what you think! Constructive crit is welcome.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, if I did, Kakashi would live in my bedroom :).

He hated to be dependant on anything, or anyone. But he just couldn't survive without this. It was the only thing that kept him out of the hospital with injuries like these. The only thing that allowed him to lie, to say he didn't hurt. He remembered the first time he had succumbed to the ever-present bottle. It had been after one of those missions—the kind that tests every strength and weakness. He had been broken, tossed around like a rag doll. The medic-nin had handed him the bottle and told him that he would be in pain. She wasn't lying. He had gotten back to his flat the minute the hospital's morphine wore off and collapsed in pain by the kitchen sink. Just barely able to get the damned childproof lid off the bottle, he had taken the little yellow pill and curled up in the fetal position, waiting for it to take effect. He had thought afterward, so falls the great copy-nin.

Now, he sat in his dark apartment, waiting for Sakura to arrive. He hadn't bothered stowing the morphine pills away…he didn't care enough to. Head in hand, blood pooling at the foot of his stool, staring at the bottle, tipped over on the counter, the pills spilled across the surface. People wondered how he could stay in ANBU so long…the answer was right there in front of him. He had been numb already, body and mind…a reckless killing machine.

Like clockwork, Sakura tapped on the window, ignoring the door like her former sensei had done so often. She didn't wait for him to answer, just slid the pane back and hopped in lightly.

"Kakashi-sensei, you really need to start going to the hospital with things like this," she said, her worry showing in her voice. She set her bag down on the counter, not seeing the pill bottle. "Don't even try to tell me 'It's just a scratch,' either."

Kakashi hissed a little for effect as Sakura peeled off the pieces of his jonien vest, followed by his shirt.

"Kakashi! You could've bled to death if I hadn't come tonight!" she exclaimed.

"Nah," he said, waving his hand weakly. "It's just a flesh wound…didn't hit any major arteries."

Sakura didn't argue with him, knowing her friend would remain block-headed, as usual. She pushed her chakra into him, sealing the nasty gash across his back. They remained silent, going through the motions they performed every couple of weeks, the actions so familiar that they needed no explanation.

"Let me see your wrist," Sakura insisted, holding out her own hand. Kakashi reluctantly placed his left wrist in her hand. "Fractured, just as I thought. Didn't I tell you to keep it wrapped for a month?"

"Sorry," Kakashi sighed. He was already gone with morphine.

"Really, Kakashi, you should take better care of yourself. I can't imagine what you did before I could come and make house calls."

"…"

"Kakashi? Fuck, Kakashi, stay awake! You've lost too much blood to fall asleep right now."

"Sorry," Kakashi said again, adjusting himself a little.

"Why don't you go take a shower or something?" Sakura asked, hand on his shoulder. She moved her bag away, and then noticed the morphine pills. "God, Kakashi, how many did you take?"

"Umm…three, I think," he replied nonchalantly.

"God, Kakashi, these are seventeen milligrams each! How are you even alive right now?" Sakura asked, immediately going through her little bag to find an antidote. Kakashi stopped her with a weak hand on her wrist.

"Don't bother. I've built up a tolerance over the years," Kakashi said, still staring at the counter with unseeing eyes.

"K-Kakashi, how long have you been popping morphine pills?" Sakura asked slowly.

"Going on eleven or twelve years now," he admitted. "ANBU does things like that to you."

"No wonder you stayed in so long. Kakashi, you have to stop."

Kakashi looked at her disbelievingly. "Sakura, as a medic-nin, you of all people should know what that would do to me."
"Don't you dare pull that card on me, Hatake!" she bit back, causing Kakashi to flinch. If she was using his surname, he knew she was pissed. "Ah, what use is it talking to you right now?" she said, as though to herself.

"Sakura…" he began pleadingly.

"No, Kakashi, you have to get off of these. I'm putting in to Tsunade-sama that your prescription is revoked, and I'm going to see to it personally that you don't get any more missions that would make you hurt bad enough to need the damn morphine." Sakura threw the last of her stuff in her bag and zipped it. She swept the rest of the pills back into the container and stowed it in her bag. "From now on, someone will issue you morphine as it is judged you need it."

"No, Sakura, don't do this to me…" Kakashi pleaded, gripping her wrist tightly. "Don't…"

"I have to, Kakashi," she said sadly. She slid her bag to the window and gripped Kakashi's elbows, lifting him a little so he stood on his feet. Sakura steered him to the couch, laying out a sheet before she let him lie down. He fell onto the couch, exhaustion creeping over him.

Kakashi lay there, unable to move, unfeeling. The only sensation was that of complete numbness. This last morphine dose had been unaccompanied by the familiar adrenaline rush, and the high he usually got. The feeling had become less and less frequent. Instead, it had been replaced by all-consuming exhaustion. That exhaustion was calling to him now, bidding him to join it in a dreamless sleep, despite Sakura's instructions.

"Fuck," he breathed, resisting, though he didn't know why. Sakura was beside him again, brushing his silver hair away from his face. He couldn't even feel her cool hands against his feverish skin. The morphine had stolen even that away from him. His vision was blurring, blocking even the bright-pink locks of hair out of his sight.

"Kakashi, stay awake, dammit! You can't go to sleep yet, and I can't give you this supplement until the morphine wears off! Dammit, Kakashi, why do you do this to us?"

Us? Who had cared about him since Rin and the Yondaime's deaths? Who had given a shit about Kakashi the Copy-cat Nin? No one. He had been alone, abandoned to ANBU, not even acknowledged by his teammates. A tool. Shinobi. He closed his eyes.

The initial affects were wearing off, the total numbness that had consumed him. He could now feel the gentle ministrations of Sakura's hands, an attempt to keep him awake. But there was something else. He felt the warm moisture invading his personal space, cooling and slipping down his face into his mask. Was she crying? Did his personal addiction really affect her that much? Why does she care?

Care? What does that word mean? What kept her coming here, night after sleepless night, trying to save the Copy-cat's worthless life?

Maybe his life wasn't as worthless as he thought. Maybe someone had cared for him, someone, for the past few years. And he had been too blind to it. Maybe his worthless life had meant something, to someone. Maybe, just maybe, he had touched someone else's life. So, not a tool after all. A person. A person who was needed, maybe even loved.

He could see again, and feel. Sakura was still beside him, still running the fingers of one hand through his hair unconsciously, and rubbing pressure points in his neck with the other hand. He could see that she was indeed crying, just little tears slipping down her face to land on his. She didn't seem to notice the liquid, but he did, and he reached up to brush the tears away lightly.

"Dammit, why do you do this to me," she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut and covering his hand with hers.

"Because I didn't think that anybody cared," he replied.

"How could you think that, Kakashi?" she asked. "How could you think that, when you saved Sasuke and Naruto, both, and Sai, and Shikamaru…and me? Can't you see, you're our rock! The only sane thing in this entire place!"

"I've been blind, Sakura. And now I see."

I'm not a tool after all.

Woo-hoo! 1,382 words! Alright, this didn't turn out exactly like I thought it would, but this little one shot just kinda came to me while I was jammin' out on my computer. If you read, please review!!!