Yes this is a song-fic, however, as you guys know I have my own style of them. So enjoy! Oh and for those who don't like it when Trent is abusive…then you better not read this. Ronan by Taylor Swift, my own version of the song.
The Best Four Years
Gwen's POV
Duncan handed me the white lilies, as the tears rolled down my face. It's been a year since the worst and best thing that has happened to me. I sob and weep in his arms, not able to look down at the horrible display.
Flashback
I remember your bare feet
Down the hallway
I am playing with my then, three year old son Ronan. His little feet making a pitter patter sound. He looks up at me with the bright green eyes of his father, the ones that I used to love to look at. Now, I'm terrified. As I stand up my leg aches from "falling" down the stairs last night. I pick up my baby, running my fingers through his identical black hair to my own. I hear the door slam shut, my heart speeds up, and not in a good way. Before Trent, my husband, got to me, I put Ronan down for his nap. His green eyes met my own black ones.
"Mama no go…" I shook my head and croaked out
"I have to baby…remember mommy loves you." I say that to him every night, not knowing if this would be the last time I would say goodnight to my wonderful son.
I remember your little laugh
Race cars on the kitchen floor
Plastic dinosaurs
As I held my head up high, closing the door, picking up his favorite green plastic dinosaur, walking to the man I have nothing with. The smell of booze was heavy in the air.
"Why the Hell are there damn racecars on the fucking floor, bitch?!" Trent yelled at me, slapping me across my face.
"You know you are supposed to keep this house fucking spotless!" Trent slurred, swaying just the slightest.
"Trent I was playing with Ronan and I-" He made a scoffing sound.
"Ronan, Ronan, Ronan, what about me?! I'm your husband for Christ sakes!" He balled his fist up and punched me in my stomach; I fell to the ground, gasping for air.
"I should have done that three years ago." Trent mumbled as he walked to our (his) bedroom. I caught my breath, and ignored the stinging on my face. I walked back into the room of my son, seeing a photo of us. I can hear his little giggle as I watch him sleep. I kissed his head and whispered.
"I love you to the moon and back"
I scooted him over, and held him in my arms, knowing he is one of the two reasons I'm still alive, the other one…is Duncan.
I've hidden the abuse from Duncan…laying there next to my son, feeling how fragile he is…I knew right then and there that if I didn't get out of the situation… Trent is going to kill us.
Duncan is Ronan's son…maybe not by birth…but he treats him like how a father should…
I remember your green eyes
Looking into mine
Like we had our own secret club
Duncan came over while Trent was at work; it was the only time I got to see Duncan. To keep myself from having a mental breakdown before he even gets here, I'm playing forts with Ronan. His green sparkling eyes look into mine, and it's like our connection grew, no one will ever understand this feeling that I have. I heard the door slowly open, and Ronan piped up.
"Dunky is here Dunky is here!" Ronan ran up to him and jumped into his arms. Duncan chuckled and hollered out for me.
As I walked out of the fort, I can see the blood drain out of Duncan's face. My eye is black and swollen, The mascara stains still present on my face.
I remember your dancing before bedtime
Then jumping on me waking me up
As Duncan puts him down for his nap, I can see the rage in his eyes. I can't help but remember the happier times, when Ronan was dancing before Trent and I put him to sleep, then jumping on us and waking us up. Then something in Trent snapped…not everyone can be a parent…or a husband. Duncan shut the door behind him.
He was pacing in the living room, furious.
"That little fucker! I knew there was something off about him lately! God dammit I'm going to kill that son of a bitch!" Within his fit of rage, he sort of forgot that I am the one who is hurt. He turned and looked at me, his teal eyes softening when they bore into my own. He sits down on the couch, and brushed my hair away from my swollen eye.
"Oh Gwen…I'm so sorry…I should have known…I'm your best friend!" I was looking down the whole time.
"Duncan it's not your fault…" I started to lift my head up, about to say something else. Duncan had his hand grasped into my own. I stared into his baby blue's while he stared into my dark black orbs. The way he is rubbing his thumb over my hand…the way he is looking at me…sealed our fate. Our lips danced together, the feeling of love that I haven't felt in two years. The way his tongue intertwined with my own…it was enchanting. We made love on that couch that day, it was the best love I've ever had. I was having an affair with my best friend, but I didn't give a damn. The way he moved, the way he paid attention to my needs, the way he made me feel. I knew this is what true loves feels like, I've never had this with Trent. Even before the abuse.
I can still feel you hold my hand
Little man
As Duncan was about to leave, he gave me a kiss goodbye. It was sweet, simple…and I loved it. He snuck out the back door. I heard Ronan call for me so I went. He just wanted to be with his mommy. I held his little hand, like the first day I held him the day he was born. He is my little man.
All of a sudden I heard a crash and a fight. I run into the room, stupidly with Ronan. Trent caught Duncan leaving, and is now holding a gun to his chest.
"You little fucker!" Trent screamed, then he noticed me.
"You!" He screamed. He threw me, Ronan hitting his head, blood went everywhere. Ronan was screaming bloddy murder, I tried to get to him, I tried to save him, but that bullet to his back was faster than I.
And even in the moment I knew
You fought it hard like an army guard
The doctors said I wasn't allowed back with my son, I told them to go to Hell. I never left my baby's side. I knew there was a slim to none chance that he would survive…but I know my little man is fighting like Hell. I pray to God to let him live, I just want my baby to live. The tears never left my face, forty-eight hours of crying in Duncan's arms, and by the bedside of my son.
Remember I, leaned in and whispered to you
Come on baby with me
We're gonna fly away from here
You were my best four years
Today is his birthday…he is only four! He did fly away…one minute after turning four…his little chest stopped moving up and down…and the line went flat.
I remember the drive home
When the blind hope
Turned to crying and screaming why
The whole way home that night I just screamed and screamed and screamed. Why my little boy?! Why a sweet innocent four year old?! I hate that fucker, I'm glad he got the death penalty. He deserves to be dead at rotting in Hell. Duncan broke down as soon as we walked into his house. All we did was held each other and cried till dawn.
Flowers pile up in the worst way
No one knows what to say
About a beautiful boy who died
Our whole town was at his funeral, Duncan and I hated that. He was our baby; Trent never loved him, just tolerated. Duncan loved that baby just as much as I did. No one knew what to say, because they didn't know my baby.
Present Day
And its about to be halloween
You could be anything
You wanted if you were still here
The cool Autumn air hit my skin, a chilling cold. It's almost Halloween…Ronan would have wanted to be SuperMan this year…
I remember the last day
When I kissed your face
And I whispered in your ear
Come on baby with me
We're gonna fly away from here
Out of this curtained room
And this hospital grey will just disappear
I laid down the white lilies on his grave, his plastic dinosaur right next to it. I live with this pain every day…but with Duncan by my side… we've made it so far. One day at a time.
Come on baby with me
We're gonna fly away from here
You were my best four years
Duncan and I hold each other close, turning to leave the graveyard. I don't know if this was my eye, or if I'm just going insane…but I swear I saw a light wrap around me. I'm going insane.
What if I'm standing in your closet
Trying to talk to you?
And what if I kept your hand-me-downs
You won't grow in to?
And what if I really thought some miracle
Would see us through?
And what if the miracle was even getting
One moment with you?
a few months later
I don't know if this was God's plan, if it was Ronan, or what it was. Duncan and I have tried to get pregnant, with no success. We finally just gave up…but after that day at the cemetery…I became pregnant…with a son.
Come on baby with me
We're gonna fly away from here
Come on baby with me
We're gonna fly away from here
You were my best four years
The months flew by…then came the time that my water broke. While getting the epideral…I saw Ronan. I don't care, no one can tell me any different. I saw his smile, his beautiful green eyes. I saw him throughout my labor, until it was time to push.
"I'll see you soon mama." I saw his green eyes turn to a bluish color…then he disappeared. Five minutes later I gave birth to our son. His smile was just like Ronan's…and the eyes look just like the ones before he disappeared. I don't know if this is his spirit or not, but Ronan is here, I know he is.
"What should we name him?" Duncan asked me holding our boy.
I remember you bare feet
Down the hallway
I love you to the moon and
Back...
Duncan and I walked into our new home.
"Welcome home Ronan."
Ok if this didn't make you the least bit sad…that's just sad. Review please! :)