Kiss Away My Sins - Chapter 1
Hey guys!
Welcome to my new Caryl fanfic, Kiss Away My Sins! This is the second Caryl fic I've written on the site, and I really hope that you enjoy it!
This one is more of a "What If?" story dealing with Carol and Daryl's relationship way back in Season 1. What if Daryl knew Carol was getting beaten? What if he tried to stop it? What if they formed a bond? What if they got together?
All that fun stuff.
I really hope you enjoy, and I hope that you keep reading.
If you wanna check out my other Caryl fic, you can go to my profile page and give it a read. It's called "Amaranthine".
Oh, and before we begin:
THIS STORY CONTAINS A LOT, AND I DO MEAN A LOT OF ED BASHING. THIS ALSO CONTAINS MINOR SHANE BASHING, AND SOME LORI BASHING. IT IS RATED M FOR SEXUAL ABUSE, SEXUAL CONTENT, VIOLENCE, AND DIXON MOUTH. IT ALSO CONTAINS A SOMEWHAT FEISTY CAROL AND A OVERPROTECTIVE AND OCCASIONALLY SENSITIVE DARYL.
Chapter One
"What the fuck did I just tell you, bitch?" Ed snarled, throwing his hands up in the air in frustration.
Carol fumbled with the buttons on her shirt, trying to distract herself from the yelling. She didn't respond to him, but just stared down at the dry earth beneath her feet.
She heard him approach, but remained motionless, her heart pounding. The last thing she wanted was another beating, but, of course, Ed never cared about what she wanted. "I said to get the fuck over here! I've been lookin' for ya for how long now?" he growled. Carol flinched as he spat on her shoe. "You're a useless, whore, you know that? You can't even listen to yer husband when he's talkin' to ya!"
"I am listening…" she mumbled, still not raising her eyes to his.
"The hell ya are!" he snorted. Without warning, she felt his hand seize her chin. He yanked her head up so she had no choice but to look at his ugly face. Once upon a time, that face had awakened joy within her; she had looked at it with love and affection. Now, it only brought her a mixture of fear and disgust. She bit back the urge to wrinkle her nose as she caught a whiff of his revolting, stale breath.
God, what had I been smoking when I married this asshole?
"Where's my goddamn shirt? I told ya I wanted it clean tonight," Ed told her, spitting a glob of God-knows-what on her shoe.
Carol had a smart remark planned out in her head, but restrained herself from voicing it. She didn't feel like getting hit today. Plus, she knew better than to ask why it was so important. She just looked down submissively, fighting to control the inner feminist that was just dying to kick his fat, ugly ass. "I'm sorry. I'll go get it ready right now."
"Good," he grunted. His anger seemed to be dying down now, much to her relief. She tried to act tough and defiant—she tried to make it seem like he didn't have too great of an effect on her—but it was a mask. In all honesty, Ed Peletier terrified her. Carol liked to think that one day, she'd throw down her damn laundry basket and tell the fucker to do it himself. She liked to think about walking out on him and taking her sweet Sophia with her. But they were fantasies; dreams that would never become a reality. The Carol that she wanted to be and the Carol that she was were two entirely different things; she wanted to be brave, intelligent, sarcastic, and independent, but, in reality, she was anything but that. She was a bag of used goods; a housewife that got beaten at almost every turn.
And, only to add salt to the wound, Carol had brought this upon herself. From the beginning of their relationship, she'd seen the signs, and she chose to ignore them. She knew he had a temper and that he could be a bit of an asshole. Yet, she stupidly agreed to marry him. She walked down the aisle wearing white and let him put his ring around her finger. She let him take her back to their hotel room, and she allowed him to steal her innocence from her. They went through a semi-decent newlywed stage before everything fell apart. Ed adopted the habit of drinking, and came home with a fury that Carol had never encountered before. He'd come home, demanding sex and getting it by whatever means necessary. That was how Sophia was born. In one of his drunken stupors, Ed had seemed to forget about the concept of condoms and wasn't lucid enough to think of the consequences.
When Carol discovered she was pregnant, she cried for days. It was bad enough that she had to suffer through this sorry excuse for a life, but now a child would have to experience it as well. That child would have to grow up watching its mother get mercilessly beaten, and possibly raped. No one deserved that. For a while, Carol contemplated abortion. She hated the thought of killing the baby inside her, but didn't want to condemn it to a life of pain and suffering. After much reflection on the matter, Carol determined that she loved her child more than anything in the whole world, and knew that she had to give it a chance.
Things didn't turn out as badly as Carol had predicted; to her relief, Ed had mellowed down a great deal after Sophia's birth. He wasn't really gentler, but he hit her less often. The best part for Carol was that her husband's sex drive had also decreased. Ed told her that after the pregnancy, her body wasn't the same anymore, and that sometimes, it disgusted him. Any other woman who heard their husband say that would break down in tears, but Carol was practically doing backflips of joy.
However, not everything was wonderful. Ed still beat her—he seemed to do so more after the beginning of the apocalypse, as if it were somehow her fault—and would occasionally break a rib or two. But, by far, the worst thing was that with each passing day, as Sophia grew into a young woman, Ed's eyes began to rest on her for long periods. Every now and then, Carol would catch him giving Sophia—his own daughter—a hungry, lustful look.
She hated him.
She hated him with every fiber of her being.
He could beat and rape her anytime he wanted, but when he went after her little girl, he was asking for a war. Carol would die before she let anything happen to her Sophia, and, with Ed being the way he was, dying might be exactly what it took.
Carol knelt by the pond with the other women, wringing out one of Sophia's shirts. For the most part, they were all silent, Andrea and Jacqui occasionally breaking the silence with an amusing comment, or just some statement that all the women agreed and identified with. Lori was to her right and Miranda to her left. Carol unraveled the wet glob that was her daughter's favorite t-shirt and laid it down on the rocks beside her.
"So," Andrea said, breaking the silence. Whenever Andrea spoke, it was almost as if the women's incentive to work disappeared. Carol sometimes smiled at the thought. "There are a lot of guys up in the quarry."
Jacqui giggled. "What are you goin' on about, now, Andrea? Your latest romantic endeavor? For the love of God, please spare us."
A few of the other women chuckled. Carol just smiled furtively before dipping one of Ed's shirt into the water.
"No, I was gonna ask if any of you guys have your eyes on one a' them. That way, I'll stay away and let you try your luck," Andrea replied with a small smile.
"They ain't gonna all flock to you, Andrea," Miranda replied deviously. "You ain't the only good-looking female in this group."
Carol let out a small laugh at her friend's boldness. "Miranda's right. You might have competition this time."
Andrea snorted and rolled her eyes. "Please… But anyway, who are you guys lookin' at? I know Lori's had her eyes on Shane for… oh… how long now?"
Lori's face flushed. "It's… it's nothing. I mean… He saved my son and I back in Atlanta after Rick…" she trailed off, her face becoming forlorn.
Carol watched her solicitously for a moment before giving her arm a friendly, reassuring pat. Whether Andrea actually noticed Lori's change in demeanor or chose to ignore it was unknown. "Alright, so I guess that Shane is crossed of the list. How about Jim?"
Jacqui only wolf-whistled in response.
Andrea laughed. "Alright, Jim belongs to Jacqui now… What about… How 'bout those two brothers? The ones that live in the woods? They're a little… separated from the others, but they're still a part of the group."
"The ones with the motorcycle?" one of the others asked.
"Yeah! Those ones… What are their names?"
"I know one of them's Merle," Miranda said casually.
Carol became disinterested at the mention of Merle's name. From what she'd seen of him, he was just a racist, sexist, womanizing, motorcycle-riding, drug-taking redneck. Carol knew there was another with him—a little brother she heard someone say—but Carol had never met him.
"What's the other's name?" Andrea demanded, sounding irritated that she couldn't remember it.
"I think it started with a D," Lori offered. Carol shot a glance over at the skinny woman beside her. Lori's face was still solemn, and her voice was oddly hoarse.
"Daryl!" Andrea cried with triumph. "That's it! Daryl Dixon!"
A/N: Do you like it so far? Leave a review and let me know! If you've liked what you've seen so far, remember to follow and favorite! I really appreciate it! :D