AN: I did not write this story and take no responsibility in it. The original author is xXxOhime-SamaxXx and it
was a parody of Ebony from My Immortal for the South Park fanon at DeviantArt. Due to filter's, it could not
be viewed by the general public until I uploaded it. I spaced everything for clarity. Rated "M" for My Immortal
like sex scenes.
"Hi! This iz Mary Sue'Per Kawaii and i'm da noow student at south park elementary. i cant wiat and I just now
everyone is gonna luv me or maybe not cuz at mii old school peps made fun of me beecuz my boobs are super
big and cuz im sooo pretty and peeps love me. but they are just jelly cuz im bootiful and they need to realize
how awful it is being this sexy cuz everyone is mean to you or in love with you so it sucks.
"anyway, for my first day at south park elementary im wearing—."
"Um, hey, are you new to town?"
Dat was a little ginger boy. He's cute. "ya i moved here. So far this is amazing-ful!"
"Oh…that's nice. I'm glad you haven't met all the jackasses that live here yet. I'm Kyle, by the way."
Oh no i think he's in luv wit me 2. "okay kile, i just want you to no i think ur hot 2 butt im not no hoe so
don't trii any OK?"
"Okay…" jut then a fat guy, and a hot blondie were running in a reel hurry to meet me. Yayyyyyy! Friends!
"Kyle! Stan has gone missing and you're just standing around?!" da hot blondie said. Playing hard 2 git huh?
"Yeah, you lazy Jew! I bet you— who's the bitch?"
Oh no dat fatty di'dnt! "okay imnot a bitch 1st of all so don't call me that! I was raped as a child so that might
be y peeps call me a hoe im da new girl in twon and so far every1 is in love wit me except im not a hoe so
stop hitting on me u sicko!"
"Dude! Are you a fucking retard or something? You sound like a dyslexic four year old trying to type on the
internet! Why don't you head that'a way to the special education class, Madame?"
ok i can c this fat kid is jelly cuz im über pretty and get all the guys and even some girls 2 cuz a im bi btw. Y is
everyone so mean to me cuz im so pretty?
"Now, now, Cartman," da blonde guy said lookin at my hot tits, "It's not like a gentleman to insult a beautiful
lady. Tell me, baby, what's your name?"
"My name iz Mary Sue'Per Kawai'I and im a 34F ani luv pink and mini-skirts."
"Oh yeah. You know, Mary, all the girls at school are stuck up sluts that do nothing but talk about themselves.
Yet, I can see that you're different."
"C'mon Kenny," da red haered boii said, "You aren't seriously going to fuck her, are you? That's not even her
real name! She's obviously using an alias!"
"look ok that is my real name."
"How is 'Kawaii' part of your name? You're white."
"no im not im japanese-chinese-american-germen-irish-ish-ese from mars desu ne."
"No, you're pretty damn white, dude," da fat kid sayed. Evn hott blond boi nodded wit agreement.
"OMG do u wanna do me or what blond kid?"
"My name's Kenny." I gave him dat omg-UR-so-retarded-so-hurri-up-and-do-me look. He shruggled and saied
"Well, see you guys later! Hope Stan isn't dead!" n' wit dat we dun left thm alone lookn dum cuz their jut
HATERZ!1!1!11
"Wow, seriously dude, what the crap was that?" kile sayed.
"Well Jew, I think we have to except that our little Kenny is growing up and with growing up comes awful
decisions. One of those decisions being to die slowly and painfully from a STD that will eat away at his balls."
"Heh heh, gross."
Meanwhile me n' kiiny were gettn all hott 4 ecahother. he took me n to his dirty house wit his achcoholic
parents except they respected da fact I was coming over and put out da fine china and had lobster 4 diner all
nice like jut fo me. he thro me on da bed and sliped off my lacy pink panti from Victoria's Secrete den undid
my matching lacy pink bra that I also got there cuz it was a two for one sale that day. I thnk it were sat da
15th of last yeer. Oh yeah b4 dat he had to pull donw my plaid red caltholic school girl skirt cuz I used to b
christen butt now im atheistis cuz God is a HATERZ. Then he pulled offmy corset I git from Hott Toepic.
Den of cours he had 2 take off his clothes 2 of course or how else r we gonna do it sillies? I was all happy cuz
he had a real big U-kno-what. My bodygot all hott an sweatu n tight lik a ball sack but im a woman nit a ballz
you sicko pervz!
"Den he put his thingy in my you-kno-what."
"Wow, you're narrating this too…" he sayed.
"ya I liked to do that cuz I pretend I have my Tv show cuz peeps luv me."
"Oh…it's just that…I was hoping you wouldn't talk…"
"Y? U no luv mii voice?"
"It's not that! I do… 'luv' it…I just…okay you really do sound like a retarded four year old on crack. But you are
the most beautiful girl I've ever met."
I got up all mad and told him he was a meanie and a hater and a homophone. I left with out even getting all
my clothes cuz it was all he was ever gonna git of me and cuz im not a hoe so shut up you haterz. den I was
hit by a car DUN DUN DUNNNNN!
"Back so soon, Kenny? We found Stan," Kyle said as Kenny approached the group of boys with a dejected look
on his face.
"I heard about that chick, dude. Did you really have sex with her?" Stan asked.
Kenny slowly shook his head. "She left when I told her she sounded retarded. Then she kind of…got hit by a
car."
"Damn!" The boys all say in unison.
"You must feel awful, dude," Stan said. "I mean because of your insult she killed herself!"
"No way dude," Cartman broke in, "She was an annoying bitch! I'm glad she's dead."
Kenny and Kyle looked at Stan and nodded in agreement.
"You know, I've learned something today," Kenny started, "Just because a girl is hot doesn't mean she—"
"guess whose bak?!/"
"God fucking damn it" da fat 1 sayed.
"Omg u gaiz I was like all upset cuz kinny was bein a hater n I got all hit by a car. 'N I went to heavn n' met
god n send me bk cuz he said da world needed me."
"Bull shit," Kenny scuffed.
"but im stil atheist cuz I dun wann live! It's a curse Y couldn't I jut die! Im so bootiful it's a curse!"
"Uh huh," Kyle replied flatly.
"o hai who R U?" Stan looked around and pointed to himself in confusion. "Ya U silly. I C U lookin at me y
don't we go hang out at starks pond or somthin?"
"I have a girlfriend, dude. Plus, you seem like a total whore."
"omgiamnotawhoreyougaizareall haterzsoimleavingkthanxbai!" den I slammed away all angry like cuz there
men to me.