It was only two months prior to this day that Harry had watched him die

Two months before, his life had changed. Two months before, it was still possible for everything to be okay…even for a moment. It was only two months prior to this day that Harry had watched him die. Two months, before the days were hotter, longer, and without all meaning. Harry lie in bed, the night before his fifteenth birthday, Cedric's cold eyes haunting him. All summer, Harry Potter had stayed up through the hot, empty nights, wishing it had all been a dream; a nightmare. Upon closing his eyes, the dark face of what was once beautiful would haunt. What was once full of life was now a ghost, a painful one at that. Again and again he would relive that night, how easy it was to stop it from happening. Had they never taken the portkey…had they just gone back when Harry said to…had Cedric not tried to save Harry…maybe he would have still been there, whispering, laughing, arms wrapped warmly around him. He wished more than anything that that light – the one he had watched fade – was still there in Cedric Diggory's deep eyes.

Suddenly, he felt warmth upon his face. For the first time since the night of Cedric's death, Harry had tears streaming down his face. The numbness had gone. It was the end of the summer, the end of his fourteenth year alive on this earth, the end of Cedric. Harry had suddenly realized, accepted maybe, that it was never a dream. This was real. Voldemort was real. Harry still lie there, awake and alive, and Cedric was lying somewhere else…six feet below the ground, heart still and cold within his chest.

It had all happened so fast. Harry's fourth year at Hogwarts, like the rest, was jam packed with thrill, excitement, danger, fear, laughter, all the necessities of a Potter's life. This year had been different. This year, he had slipped into something deeper, something he never thought he'd understand, or come to know. He had loved and lost. For him, though, it was…different. Most teenagers flirt and flaunt, experiencing love for the first time, and plunging deep. For Harry Potter, though, love was a secret, a sin, not a whisper, not a soul could speak of it. He, himself, didn't even believe in it, half the time. All had to be secret, kept from even the closest of friends. Harry had kept a secret from the world and now he shed tears in its wake. It was not shame. It was remorse, for the loss of the one he had called "love," and for the lack of trust. Perhaps if he had told someone…been proud of such wonder…he wouldn't feel so terrible today? In fact, he was ashamed, ashamed that he couldn't be proud…not necessarily of himself, but of Cedric. He loved Cedric Diggory, and it was a love more than just that of brotherhood. It was a love worth getting in trouble for. It was a love worth a little bit of grief. So why had Harry kept it a secret? Now he had nothing left of his tragedy, but a single year's memory. Cedric had left Harry's life as quickly as he came, and the result was the most pain he'd ever experienced.

He could remember each moment with such detail. Perhaps that was why he had thought it was unreal. Everything seemed so perfect, so pure. Two whole months had gone by, and yet he hadn't forgotten a moment. It was almost like he knew, even from the very beginning, who this man had the potential to be. There was something about him.

They approached the forest at dawn. The unbelievable feel of the morning's dew made Ron rub his eyes due to lack of sleep and allergies. He let out an exaggerated yawn, to let everyone know just how upset he was about being woken up so early. Harry admitted to himself that, he too, could've used a bit more sleep, although the nightmares weren't exactly as comforting as a nice morning stroll. Sometimes Harry was embarrassed of the violent dreams he had…he always woke up shrieking and sweating with somebody hunched over him, concerned. He couldn't for the likes of him stop the nightmares, no matter how hard he tried. Certain things he could go without, like the constant reminder that there was someone out there, hunting for him, yearning to see his last breath. Harry's train of thought was lost as they approached a short, plump man in the forest clearing. He tipped his hat at Arthur and as he did so and motioned toward something. Toward the back, Harry wasn't sure what he was pointing at, and he wondered if perhaps he was missing something important. Glancing around, though, he saw that the others were equally confused. Suddenly, from the branches of the tree above, a creature fell and landed on his two feet without a single stumble or loss of balance.

"This is my son, Cedric," the short man said with a smile. Cedric reached out and shook Arthur's hand as the two girls before Harry exchanged giggled. Harry rolled his eyes, but did not contradict. Even from back there, he could see that the older Cedric was blatantly breathtaking. Harry felt awkward, taking notice of such a thing, but all guys did so. Ron was turning green with envy to Harry's right, meaning he, too, noticed the man's looks. Cedric was exceptionally handsome, with a straight nose, dark hair and gray eyes. Harry could see the life deep within them, glowing, as the boy smiled, catching his stare. Harry immediately looked away to Ron, who was glaring at the boy with jealousy that he obviously didn't care to hide. Harry stifled a laugh and continued to follow the rest of the Weasley children and their father to the portkey.

The rest of the night was a blur. Harry pondered on what had happened through the whole train ride to Hogwarts. Hermione recited the front page article of The Daily Prophet with unnecessarily perfect pronunciation as Harry focused hard on the raindrops upon the window. He could have been dead. Everyone could have been dead…many were. Death Eaters struck as quickly as a hurricane, and the screams were still loud in Harry's mind. He heard Ron's stomach growling to his right.

The feast was like any other. Hermione politely cut her ham into perfect pieces, Ron stuffed his face with anything he could get his hands on, and Harry picked at a few things he had grabbed from the table. Cedric's face, for some reason, kept floating around his thoughts. Why, he wondered? If it were his looks, it didn't mean he thought he was attractive. Maybe it was just that…there was something different about him. Maybe it was just that…there was something familiar about him. Maybe it was just that…Harry was recognizing everyday faces at Hogwarts and making too big of a deal over it. Regardless, the smirk that he could've sworn he saw upon Cedric's face was burned into his memory.

What the bloody hell was he smirking at? Who's to say that Cedric is so much better than everyone else? Who was he to act as if Harry was dirt beneath his feet? Had they not traveled together, however short it may have been, during the summer? Once again, Harry's short temper was rising. It was really becoming a problem. Why was he making such a big deal out of one little facial expression that he wasn't even sure he had seen? Suddenly Harry realized just how uncomfortable he was. Suddenly, he felt eyes on him…

It wasn't out of the ordinary. People had been staring at Harry all his life, he being being the boy who lived and all, which is why he had adapted to feeling their gaze. As he sat there, temper rising, picking at his food, he was sure he could feel Cedric's stare boring into the back of his head. What was he to do? Turning around, he was sure, would satisfy some game of Cedric's, but he couldn't just sit there and take it. Suddenly, his thoughts were stopped abruptly at the sound of his name. He reacted without thinking.

"Yeah?" he answered a little too quickly. He looked up to see both Hermione and Ron staring at him with confused looks on their faces. "What?" he said impatiently.

"I said your name three times," said Hermione, giggling but obviously concerned.

"Okay," he replied slowly and defensively.

"Er, well, I was just wondering…you know, if you finished your summer studies? I wouldn't be surprised if the professors referred to them in class.

"Hermione," Ron said, also with impatience. "Honestly, can't you focus on your own priorities?"

"My priorities just happen to be caring about my friends and their education. What about your priorities, Ronald?"

"What about them?"

"Did you finish your homework?"

"Most of it, I guess. I've got time."

"Ron!"

"What? I think my priorities are just fine, thank you!"

"Ron!"

"Cut it out, Hermione!"

"What? Honestly, why can't you ever just… just… grow up?"

"Why can't you ever shut the bloody hell up?"

Hermione gasped and pulled back, offended and overreacting. "Ronald Bilius Weasley!"

Harry cringed, grew suddenly angered beyond all reason and focused on his food once again. Was Cedric still watching him? He could still feel his eyes on him, but who wouldn't stare? It was only the first night and already Hermione and Ron were bickering like a married couple. Slowly, Harry finished his food and, when Dumbledore permitted, stood up to head to the common room with the rest of his house. Just a few more feet and he'd be out…Just as he passed the abnormally large doors to the great hall, he found himself collapsing into someone: Cedric Diggory.

He looked up, startled, to see the same smile he had seen when he first met Cedric as their eyes met. Harry tried to back out politely with a quiet sorry, but was stopped as he tried to pass the tall seventh year. Cedric had grabbed his arm, pulled Harry's body uncomfortably close to his own, and leaned down, inches from the boys face. He smiled softly before whispering something into his ear.

Meet me in one hour outside the prefect's common room. I'll clear things up.

So, yes, I abandoned this story for awhile. I'm so, so sorry. Once I leave a story for two long, I get this stupid little idea into my head that if I were to edit it now...it'd be too late or something. As if I have this nonexistent deadline. No matter, no matter. I edited the first to chapters. as of March 26, 2008. So if you reviewed before, leave another, because it's changed a bit. Thank youuu! :