You're walking with your friends when you're suddenly stopped by a hand on your elbow, pulling you back. You don't know what forces you to look up but you do and what you see stops your heart in its tracks.
She's there.
Your everything.
Across the street she's looking at you.
You know you should be angry, angry that she left you alone for a month with no word, not even to let you know if she was okay.
You don't register when you start running but you suddenly find yourself in her arms.
You want to yell at her, demand an answer to where she went but no words leave your mouth.
You pull away first, a look of hurt visible on your features.
Your ears don't register her apology as tears stroll down your cheeks. You feel her touch as she wipes them away.
God how much you've missed her touch.
Fuck the secrecy you think to yourself as you forcefully grab her neck and crush your lips together.
When the need for air becomes too much you break the kiss. A throat clearing reminds you of the fact that you weren't alone when you saw her. She seems to realise this as well and gives you a small, shy smile.
You all head to a small table you sit next to her and the smile she sends your way makes everything around you disappear.
You tell her you love her and her smile becomes a goofy one; you can't help but giggle a says it back to you and you can tell she means it but her smile falters and that's when you knew something was wrong. You tell your friends the story of how you two became, well, you two. They were happy for you, all expect for her ex but he was happy that she was happy and he told you that that was enough for him.
The rest of the day seems to drag by but at the same time it went by in a blur and soon it was just you two in front of her house.
She unlocks the door and drags you inside, you're nervous, scared even but not of her.
Of her absence!
Millions of questions swim around in your head but only one sticks out 'is she okay?'
She tells you to sit down and when you do she can't meet your worried eyes.
"Your the best thing that's ever happened to me and I couldn't of asked for a better girlfriend. I know you must hate me for disappearing this past month, I know I've been distant even before that and for that I'm so sorry but I had to see someone and I didn't want to worry you." She took a breath while you held yours. You're about to ask her something when she continues "I was at the hospital" she says quietly and your eyes widen in fear.
You ask her what's wrong and you watch, feeling completely helplessly, as she opens her mouth to answer you but a string of coughs over takes her and soon blood is being coughed up. You see despair, defeat and fear in her tear filled eyes and that's the last straw, your tears come without notice. You hastily pick up your phone and call an ambulance but when they answer you find yourself unable to answer; there's no more coughing.
No heavy breathing other than your own.
You fix your eyes on her form, her back is resting against the arm of her couch. Her pale face now a ghostly white and her usual vibrant blue-green eyes now lifeless.
You close your eyes as tightly as you can until white spots dance behind your eyelids. You stop thinking, stop breathing as you check her pulse.
Nothing.
You try again and again.
Nothing. Nothing. The tears come harder with every failed attempt at locating life within her.
A knock on the door snaps you out of your petrified haze. Everything that happens after that is a seems nothing more than a dream. The ambulance must have traced your call but you give it no thought what so ever. You hear them talking to you, asking if your okay but you don't answer.
She was officially declared dead at 9:30 pm.
Suddenly a thought occurs to you. In two days time would've been your 8th month anniversary. That's when the crying stops. You can feel your soul dying and heart breaking.
The reality of the situation hits in face. You'll never hold her again, never kiss her again.
She no longer lives.
Three years have passed and nothing has changed. You still cry yourself to sleep followed by dreams of her either in your arms or her lifeless body. Every night you hope you'll wake up from this nightmare that you call life. You're nothing without her. You still remember that day, the day you lost the girl you loved. The day Death ripped your soulmate away from you. You haven't moved on. You haven't recovered and you know you never will you think to yourself as you take the blade to your wrist and press down. Blood quickly gushes out; you hit your target.
You smile, you'll see her again now, you can be with her again. This time forever really means forever.
You whisper her name as the darkness pulls you in, gives you a new home.
"Jade"