Hello everyone! Well, as many of you know by know, the Nostalgia Critic is returning tomorrow. After seeing The Review Must Go On, I got this idea in my head and just had to write it. So, I hope you enjoy it and please leave a review if you have a chance.
Having finished his review of The Odd Life of Timothy Green, the Nostalgia Critic figured that he should call up his fellow reviewers to let them know of his return.
Needless to say, their reactions were mixed.
Nostalgia Chick seemed pretty annoyed that she had now lost her monopoly on all things nostalgia, but he could tell that behind the annoyed snark she was happy to hear that he was alright.
After recovering from passing out from shock, Film Brain gushed for nearly half an hour about his joy in hearing that his idol had come back from the dead, having to be reminded every so often not to hyperventilate.
Linkara, after recovering from shock, worried about the possibility of the universe collapsing without the Critic. But he was more than happy to know that Douchey was currently keeping it stable, and wouldn't be pestering him ever again.
Phelous was fairly indifferent about the whole thing, but he still refused to say where exactly he got the skull that supposedly belonged to the Critic or what it really was.
By the time he had finished calling everyone, or at least everyone that had gone into space with him, a good couple of hours had passed. There was no sign of Rob anywhere, so he assumed he'd be back later. Finally, the Critic had some time to relax. He slumped back in the armchair he'd been sitting in and sighed in relief.
But now that he finally had a quiet moment, he couldn't help but reflect a bit. The thoughts and memories of both of his lives floated around in his head; being ridiculed as a child star, being driven insane from a constant barrage of awful movies, the aspirations of an amateur film maker, the praise from his fans when they weren't trying to kill him for something he said or did in his reviews.
'So, whom am I really?' he pondered. 'Am I Donny, or the Nostalgia Critic, or just both?' He rubbed his temples. 'Oh well, it's not like it really matters. Now I'm back, and better than ever.' He smiled, thinking of all the new reviews that lay ahead of him, endless possibilities.
And yet…
One thought still echoed in the back of his mind, a memory that just kept eating at him.
"Now at last you will know what it's like to experience failure und see through the eyes of tortured child stars und vatch as all of your ambition crumbles into a mangy pile of heap. A lifetime of harsh criticisms atoned for at last."
"Everyone you criticize from this point on has a face. In every way, they are just like you. They work hard, they feel pain, they laugh, they cry. And when you mock them, you also mock yourself. You can still criticize all you want but deep down inside, you'll always know what it's like to be on the other side. And never truly forget."
"You knew what you were doing back then as a kid. If you didn't want people like me making fun of your work, you wouldn't have chosen so many crappy movies. I don't care how old you were!"
"So you think kids should be held accountable for what they film, no matter what their age?"
He knew what he had to do.
Boring.
That's how everything felt for Mara Wilson lately. Just boring.
The former child star nonchalantly stirred her coffee and starred out the window. Everything just seemed dull without the Critic to torment
The Critic…
How ironic it seemed that the person who had pissed her off by making fun of her performances in movies when she was just a child also brought her so much joy from torturing him with his own past attempts at film. After all, that was the whole reason she got her powers, so she could wreak vengeance on all those who dared to make fun of her past career in film. But what good were demonic powers if there was no one to use them one.
She had tried finding other critics to target, but she couldn't really find a reason to antagonize the Nostalgia Chick, and other critics were no fun either. Not even her blog could keep her entertained very much.
In fact, although she would never admit it, in a way, she missed that whining, screaming asshole Critic.
Just then the phone rang. 'Hmph. Probably just another telemarketer,' she thought. 'Honestly, how many of them to I have to set on fire for them to get the message?' She set her coffee down on the kitchen table and picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"Hey Mara. It's me, the Nostalgia Critic."
A moment passed.
'What.'
"Mara? Are you there?"
"I-I," Mara stuttered as she desperately tried to quickly recover from shock and put on a cool demeanor. "Aren't you supposed to be dead or something?" she answered in a casual, indifferent sounding tone.
"Yeah, well, I got better," he replied. "And while I was, er, dead, I learned a few things."
"Oh?" she said, trying to appear to feign interest but in reality hanging on every word the Critic said, trying to assure herself that this was really happening."
"Yeah, and now I have something I need to say to you."
"Oh really? And what would that be?" 'Here it comes!' she thought excitedly. 'He'll start insulting me again and everything will be just like before and I can get back to exacting my revenge on him!'
The Critic took a deep breath before finally answering.
"I'm sorry."
Another moment passed.
"You're joking, right?
"No, I'm completely serious. I'm sorry for what I said about you," he continued. "It was wrong of me to judge your acting when you were only a child. For all I know, that was just the Hollywood directors telling you to act all cutesy."
Mara pondered his words for a minute before finally answering him back. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well, like I said, I learned a few things while I was gone. Let's just say I got to see things from a different perspective. Anyway, I just needed to get that off my chest"
Mara thought carefully about how to respond to this, before finally deciding on what to say. "You do realize that I'm still going to torment you even after this." She paused for a moment." But, I do appreciate the apology. You pompous bastard," she added jokingly
"I wouldn't have it any other way, you psychotic demon bitch," he replied in an equally joking tone before hanging up.
Mara hung up the phone, picked up her coffee, and smiled before taking a sip.
'And all is right with the world.'