Just a few words for the readers

Hello!

To be quite honest I'm not new to or to writing stories. Sadly I've had writers block for the past year and a half and thus, stopped writing completely. So if the following story seems a little scrappy in places or doesn't seem to flow nicely it's because I've lost my touch (assuming I ever had it to begin with).

This story was created because of my frustration for the lack of Hikaru/Kaoru fanfiction that suited my reading style. It was inspired by another story that I have read earlier this week.

Warning: This story is suppose to be a Hikaru/Kaoru twincest but the story took on a life of its own and has made the twincest less obvious. Read the right way and I'm sure it will be noticed.

Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of its characters.

Please enjoy.

His

It had rained that afternoon. It had rained hard and it had ruined the Hitachiis' plans for a wonderful afternoon picnic. The radio, which had informed the two boys of the afternoon's forecast, had been left on and the abandoned picnic basket and food sat on the kitchen counter forgotten by the disappointed brothers. That had been 4 hours ago.

Hikaru sat glumly on the window seat in the brothers study room, lights off and curtains draw closely together leaving only a small gap to let the late afternoon's light filter in. The older Hitachii twin had been looking forward to the afternoon picnic, more than he cared to admit. He had, in truth, planed the picnic weeks ago and had just suggested the idea in a desperate attempt of bringing the two closer together because things were no longer fine.

It wasn't like they had always been joined at the hip, at least not during school. In fact, when they had been younger the amount of time they spent away from each other just was frightening. And it had worked for them. But as they grew and the 'Outside World' began to knock more frequently on their door, the need to block the outer world from entering theirs became stronger and so the art of being 'one' was borne. If no one could tell them apart then they would become 'one' and they could forget about the hope of finding someone to tell them apart. And this pleased them and it continued to please and comfort the Hitachii brothers all the way through elementary and middle school, that is, until Suou Tamaki knocked on their door to call them out and then things changed.

He had no idea when or how they had started to drift apart but they had. Perhaps it had something to do with the Host Club but despite his best efforts he couldn't stop it. Kaoru had become distant and reserved leaving Hikaru to his own devices. It had started slowly at first and Hikaru hadn't paid it much attention, brushing it off as some self indulgent whim but when Kaoru continued to be distant and even began to decline Host Club invites or outings with their parents Hikaru began to worry.

Perhaps it was the introduction of Haruhi. She was the only explanation he could come up with. It had been shortly after she had had become their newest "toy" that he first really noticed the growing rift. It was then that Hikaru decided that it could no longer be just some silly whim. And so Hikaru started to make a greater effort to bring things back to the way they had been before Haruhi and before the Host Club.

It had started to work too. They had begun to spend a greater deal of time together after club hours and just basking in the company of each other, just like old times but then something else changed. He changed, no not Kaoru but himself. This time he was the one changing. He felt his attraction and loyalty shift and he suddenly found that it was Haruhi who demanded his attention. He still played the part of the loving, caring older Hitachii brother and while this was still true things had changed. His protective nature was shifting, changing from one person to the other and it scared him. Kaoru was his younger brother, he needed his protection but that didn't seem to warrant enough worry to stop his shifting of feelings. So then, what did that make Kaoru? Just a brother?

Maybe that's why it had stopped working. Maybe that was why Kaoru had once again reverted back to spending less time with him. But no, that wasn't true. Kaoru wasn't spending less time with him, he was just spending more time with the Host Club. Why?

"H-Hikaru?"

Coming out of his trance Hikaru pulled himself from his slouched position into a sitting one and turned his head towards the door. It startled him how dark the room had become and had to drop his gaze to avoid the harsh light streaming in from the hallway. Slowly Kaoru stepped into the study and shut the door behind him, keeping his back to Hikaru.

"Haruhi just called but I didn't know where you were so I took a message." Kaoru murmured. "She was wondering if you wanted to do...to do something tomorrow." Finishing the message, Kaoru turned around to gaze at his brother: the brother that had the same face, the same hair, the same body, the same expressions, the same everything. Everything except the perspective of themselves.

"Thanks. I guess I'll call her back then." Hikaru stood up and stretched out his cramped muscles and made his way to the phone. Picking it up Hikaru dialed the familiar number to Haruhi's home phone and waited.

"Hello? Fujioka residence."

"Haruhi? It's Hikaru. You wanted to do something?" Hikaru asked, eyes following Kaoru as the younger brother placed something on the floor then moved across the room to sit on the window seat.

"Since it stopped raining I was wondering if you were up to doing something this evening or tomorrow afternoon perhaps." Hikaru swallowed. He found it rather hard to speak at that moment. It was something that he had been fantasizing about for months; a chance to go out with Haruhi by himself with no brotherly setups. But that would have meant leaving Kaoru alone.

Kaoru. How many times had his younger twin left him to his own devices? Why couldn't he do the same? Obviously Kaoru would be able to amuse himself with something while he was away. What else would his twin be doing when they weren't together? So why was he finding it difficult to leave him behind? Maybe it was the fact he felt a responsibility to protect and care for his younger brother that kept him from leaving Kaoru alone. But he had his own life to live and he had the right, didn't he? Of course he did. Kaoru would just have to find something else to do.

"Y-yeah. Sounds like fun. We could see a movie or go shopping." Hikaru suggested.

"Sure and maybe after we could meet up with Tamaki. He's trying the "commoner" way of making money and got himself a job at this American fast food place called The King. We could have the Host Club meet him there and hang out after." Hikaru wanted to scowl at this new idea. Not because he wanted to have exclusive time with Haruhi but because she had singled out Tamaki. Honestly what were her feelings for him anyway?

"Sounds great. I'll let Kaoru know."

"Ok. I think he finishes his shift at eight tonight. Should we meet at five thirty?"

"Five thirty is fine." Hikaru confirmed. He could hear Haruhi hanging up but he didn't feel like he had enough energy to put the phone back in the cradle as he pressed the hang up button as well. He could hear Kaoru getting up from the window seat and making his way across the room and paused at the door, not sure what to do. Finally Hikaru put the phone back in its cradle and turned towards Kaoru.

"So-"

"I'll be going out in a bit. Um, do you want to meet Haruhi and me at The King? She's inviting everyone else to come as well." Hikaru interrupted.

Kaoru shifted his eyes away from Hikaru and shrugged, letting a thick silence fall around them. How much more awkward could things be? He knew however, that the awkwardness was indirectly his fault. He had driven Hikaru away so many times in the past it was no wonder Hikaru was now doing the same to him and turning his attentions towards someone else.

"Sure, we'll see. I'm feeling a little tired so I might go right to bed." Kaoru lied.

"At five pm?" Hikaru questioned.

"Yeah. I don't feel well." Kaoru lied once more.

It was sick, positively sick, Kaoru lying to Hikaru like that. They both knew it was a hoax but neither one was willing to prove it. Kaoru simply didn't want to tell Hikaru how incredibly painful and awkward it would be to have to meet up with them after their date and Hikaru simply didn't want to find out the real reason behind Kaoru's lying. He was afraid to find out the real reason behind Kaoru's secrecy because deep down he knew it had something to do with himself.

"Alright, I'll tell everyone you said Hi then." Hikaru said softly.

"Thanks." Kaoru mumbled. He shifted his weight back and forth from one foot to the other as if wanting to say something more but whatever that something more never came out.

"Well I'd better -"

"Go, I mean I'll see you tomorrow. Have fun." With that Kaoru fled the room, leaving the study door wide open in his wake and a dumfounded Hikaru.

Sighing Hikaru made his way to the study door and was about to cross the threshold when he glanced a wicker basket just beside the door hidden in the darkness. Backtracking, Hikaru went to stand before the basket and bent down to look at it more closely and nearly jumped away. It had been the picnic basket that they had been planning to use that afternoon and it was packed with new made food. With shaking hands Hikaru picked it up and gingerly poked through the contents, amazed at the amount of work and effort Kaoru must have put into it.

Had his brother been just as excited to go on the picnic as he had been and was planning to go picnicking anyway, even in the dark and on the still wet grass? But it was too late now wasn't it? Shaking his head in disbelief Hikaru picked up the wicker basket and carried back down to the kitchen.

CcCc

"Kaoru?"

"Kaoru..."

"Kaoru?"

Slowly opening his eyes, Kaoru gazed up into golden eyes and frowned, spying the time out of the corner of his eye.

"I'm sorry to wake you." Hikaru apologized squatting beside the couch.

"Not too sorry though since you kept calling my name." Kaoru pointed out darkly as he pulled himself into a sitting position.

"Come now, that's not fair."

"Nothing's ever fair" Kaoru pointed out.

He wanted to point out just how not fair life could be. Was it not fair for Hikaru to just leave him earlier that evening? Was it not fair to suddenly fall for someone else? Was it not fair to be a twin and suppose to be the same person and not be? Nothing was fair and was it not fair to not automatically know just how much he loved Hikaru?

"Kaoru..." Hikaru wasn't sure what to do. He was going to apologize but apologize for what? For an issue he wasn't even sure existed? To apologize for ditching Kaoru even after he found out about the picnic he had made? Apologize for falling for Haruhi, or for loving Haruhi more than Kaoru? But, did he love Haruhi more than Kaoru?

"If there's nothing you want to say to me then I'm going back to sleep." Kaoru huffed. Startled Hikaru instinctively reached out to prevent Kaoru from sliding back down into the couch cushions.

"You're not coming to bed?" Hikaru asked concerned. Kaoru's look became unreadable and Hikaru wasn't sure if his brother was going to slap him or burst into tears. Kaoru did neither.

"No." Was Kaoru's definite reply. Hikaru frowned but stood up, tugging at his brother's wrist.

"If you're not going to go to bed then I want to show you something first." Groaning Kaoru let Hikaru pull him up into a standing position and immediately slumped against Hikaru's worm body. Even if he was upset with Hikaru he found it difficult to play the part.

"And just where are you taking me?" Kaoru asked after several minuets of silence and darkness, for Hikaru had covered Kaoru's eyes with his hands.

"You'll see." Hikaru replied.

More silence followed except for the sound of shoes being slipped on as well as a coat and the sound of a door closing behind them.

"If mom catches us-"

"She won't." Hikaru promised, his hands still covering Kaoru's eyes.

They continued to walk, a walk that seemed to take for ever but finally they came to a halt. Kaoru could feel Hikaru stepping away, and though Hikaru had been covering his eyes, Kaoru had also shut them, so when Hikaru pulled his hands away, it was up to him to open his eyes.

"I-"

"Hikaru..."

Stunned. That's what he was, stunned. Stunned, stunned, stunned.

"I-" But Hikaru was cut off as Kaoru moved away and up the slight slope of the hill in the neighbor hood park.

"Don't believe..." He wanted to fall then. Just fall, curl up and cry.

"Kaoru?" Hikaru asked nervously as he approached his younger brother. Spinning around, Kaoru flung his arms around his brother's neck and buried his head in the crook of it. "I really am sorry." Hikaru mumbled as he pulled his brother closer.

"You dolt," Kaoru whispered. "You didn't have to all that just because I- " He let go of Hikaru long enough to gesture behind him then put his arm around his brother once more.

"I know." Was all Hikaru said.

CcCc

Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable.

Kaoru rolled over in their bed and buried his face into a pillow trying to reclaim sleep and the memory of the night before, a stupefied grin glued to his face.

Absolutely un-freakin-believable.

CcCc

There laid out before him on the crest of the park's hill, bathed in the silver glow of the night's low hanging moon and its many stars was the most beautiful simplistic scene he had ever seen. His picnic for two.

The End

There we go. Hopefully it wasn't that painful. I'm sorry if the ending is a little confusing.

Please tell me what you think because this will most likely be the last story that I'll ever post on and your thoughts and opinions matter to me. It's what feeds and fuels a writer at work.