A Ghost from the Past

A True Capitalist Radio/ Mlaatr crossover

Ch.1: Ghostcicle

The banged up pickup truck bumped along the dirt road, the Texan landscape stretching on into the horizon. Leaving the stress of home and work behind, the man who only let the world know him by the name of "Ghost" sat in the passenger seat. His best, and possibly only, friend in the world, "The Engineer", drove the truck at a fair speed, leaving the Austin, Texas skyline far behind in the rearview mirror. Their real names, however, remain unimportant, for it was by their monikers that they were known. Ghost was the former host of "True Capitalist Radio", an internet radio show that was practically a breeding ground for trolls and, to a lesser extent, BRONIES. Ugh, how he hated those "overfeminized fruitbowls", as he often described them. As Ghost mused over how his old "fanbase" was taking his retirement, the Engineer began to doze off at the wheel. Mentally retarded, and born with a garbled speech impediment, it had taken a while for Ghost to learn how to understand the Engineer, and had taken the retarded man in as a "protégé" at his brick mortar company. A fan of Blaxploitation films due to their empowerment of a previously oppressed group of people, Ghost often mistook this for "racism', due to Engie's favorite movie theme being that of "Boss N-word", starring Fred Williamson. In truth, Engineer is kinder, gentler, and more understanding than grumpy old Ghost, yet Engie looks up to him as a father figure. Suddenly, of all things, a pony, which had escaped from a local ranch, ran into the road. "ENGINEER, GODDAMNIT, LOOK OUT!" roared the Texan, jostling the Engineer and causing him to veer off the road. Rather than getting out of danger, the truck headed towards a shed filled with tanks of liquid nitrogen. The Texan ex-pundit screamed as they crashed in1to the shed, the impact causing an icy explosion that immediately engulfed the truck and froze the two of them solid. The shed collapsed in on itself, creating a sinkhole that erased all evidence of anything having happened there. The pony, undaunted by the recent chain of events, dropped a road apple on the side of the dusty dirt road, before clip-clopping away towards the ranch. A tumbleweed rolled past, and somewhere, a coyote howled at the sunset.

Ch.2: The Dig

Jenny Wakeman carried her friends Brad and Tuck Carbunkle as she flew to her destination. Her mother had seen the news, and heard that the son of the current governor of Texas had fallen into a sinkhole on the outskirts of Austin. The robot girl was able to get to the scene as a crowd of reporters tried to ask questions. Putting down Brad and Tuck, she told the paparazzi, "Sorry, folks, no time for interviews, gotta help this kid!" Turning into a giant drill, Jenny tunneled through the collapsing dirt, quickly finding the boy and carrying him out. "Well, there's THAT problem solved..." she muttered. "What do you mean, Jen?" Brad asked. "I mean, those two!" Jenny pointed down into the earth, where a pickup truck had been frozen solid. Two blue, frozen men could be seen within. Detecting fain life signs on her sensors, she said, "We've gotta get them to my mom's lab! She can unfreeze them!" So it was that Jenny picked up the pickup truck, Brad and Tuck sitting in the back; , staring at the frozen figures within. Taking off, Jenny managed to get back to her house before the ice even began to melt.

Ch.3: Hambone Reconstruction

" I'm sorry XJ-ni-yun, but to save these two would be almost impossible. Unless, of course, we were to do extreme cybernetic surgery on them," the elderly scientist explained. "Please, mom! They're still alive in their! we can't just let them die!", Jenny said, distraught at the idea of not being able to save someone. "alright, settle down, XJ-ni-yun! I'll see what I can do. Hmmm, we only have enough parts to entirely build a body for the shorter one, Jenny, be a dear and pass me that bionic brainbucket..."

Ch.4: The Second Coming of Ghost

Ghost slowly opened his eyes, realizing something was wrong. He couldn't feel much of his body, and some old broad with spiky white hair and red glasses in a yellow dress was watching over him. Seeing a reflection of himself, he noticed two things: One, that the Engineer was to the left of him, and was apparently now a boxy, stereotypical robot. Still wearing his hardhat, goggles, and overalls, the Engineer sputtered out what only Ghost could understand to be a "Hello, sir!" while Ghost glanced at himself. He gasped, and had to stifle a scream. He was a skeleton. A robotic skeleton, wearing his neck bandana and cowboy hat. He resembled his old True Capitalist Radio avatar. Calmly, Ghost faced Engineer. "Engineer... WHAT DID THIS CRAZY OLD BROAD DO TO US!?", he screamed in a mix of fear and anger. "BROAD!? Sir, I just saved your life, at the behest of my daughter!", Ms. Wakeman said, insulted. Confused, Ghost looked to his right and saw a cyan robot girl. "RRAAAAAUUUUUGGGHHHHH!", Ghost half-screamed, half-howled, in an angry yell that sounded like one of fearful rage, before getting slapped across the "face" by the girl. "Calm down, mister! I know you've been out for over a hundred years, according to the carbon dating my mom did on you, but-" "WHAT!?", Ghost yelled, before looking at a nearby calendar. Getting up and grabbing it, he could indeed see that he was in the future. "NO! My wife and kids, my company, all GONE! AAAHHHH!" Ghost began smashing a pile of spare parts, much like he did in rage at his old show, his " " bit. When he was done, he asked a question only Ghost would: "Do you have any Johnny Walker Blue Label? I need to get a drunken stupor going on..."

Ch.5: Explanations

"...and that's basically what I did. Ran my company and did that radio show. So, if you don't mind, why don't you just call us "Ghost" and "Engineer", if our old lives are over.", Ghost said glumly, wishing he had some beer. "Wait... maybe this isn't so bad... ALL THE TROLLS ARE DEAD!" Ghost laughed in joy, the idea of never having to listen to that fruity-ass Internet Buttstalker, Tub-Guy, or that horrible GhettoCapitalist ever again made him begin to laugh. "Well, there's an abandoned radio tower out in the hills outside Tremorton. Maybe you can restart out there." Brad suggested. Suddenly, a skyway patrol officer jumped out of the bushes, carrying a giant book of legal technicalities. "HOLD IT! Due to your education being outdated, you must retake High School If you wish to do your radio show!" "WHAT THE HELL!?" Ghost yelled, while Jenny looked positively gleeful. "This is GREAT! Another robot to show the school around to! I've gotta tell you about the pecking order, how I used to be the star quarterback..." Jenny rambled on, while Ghost started to cry. Engineer seemed rather happy at the prospect of going back to school. Maybe he could meet new friends!