Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective creators.
Publishing Date: February 4th, 2013.
Author's Notes: Okay, this is the first story I have ever tried making public. Not sure how far I'll get or if it's any good, or even how to upload it, exactly (okay, figured this system out. It's surprisingly complex).
Anyway, I already know some of the complaints that tend to creep up while writing fan fiction. So, I'll try to mention the major choices I've made, to avoid any surprises.
This story is a drama, not action or comedy, told from the point of view of an original character with opinions and attitudes similar to mine, so, yes, it's a bit of a self-insert.
Conversations will manly focus on Angel in while my OC makes various changes to the story in a secondary manner. By the end, hopefully, she doesn't end up disappearing. I looked through the other stories here and there isn't a single one that doesn't have her leaving this place. The whole meeting in the next life thing just felt too tacked on. There was no evidence, at all, until the very last scene, it's even possible to keep your memories after reincarnation.
I also realize that there is a large cast for this series but I'm not sure how well I'd do writing a lot of speaking parts so I'll be trying to keep that number on the low side.
You've been warned. No complaining on those points. It's more for me then you guys anyway.
Oh, and just for reference, I'm not shipping the OC and Angel. Cannon pairing will stay cannon. Honestly, how could someone compete with a guy that literally gave his heart to the girl he loves anyway?
*Spoiler Alert*
This chapter deals with the OC's dying, then his arrival to this world and having someone help him ease through the transition as we learn about his past and what regrets cause him to arrive.
I wanted my OC to have a more traumatic transition then usual. For the characters I saw, arriving to this place was more like waking up from a dream. In fact, the first time they die in this spirit realm affects them more than the original incident that causes them to end up in this place to begin with. This time, it hits the OC immediately and he suffers trauma for it.
This is especially so since he's already suffering deep scars due to his parents dying when he was young. He's got a deep, phobic level fear of dying and I hope I am expressing that right without it getting too annoying.
Most importantly, despite having a bad life, my OC is not angry at god and sees the situation as being more of a rescue then anything. Which will become important later on when I have some discussions about the merits of living in the spirit world, as opposed to the physical one.
*STORY START*
Can't breath.
I'M GOING TO DROWN!
SOMEBODY HELP ME, I'M DROWNING!
I'M DROWNING!
I'm drowning.
I'm drowning.
Drowning.
*blackness*
Chapter 1: Arrival
"GASSSSSP," I gulp air greedily. Panting. I start coughing while my body twists around to its side. I'm panting, heavily, but it's air and not...
Water. Pouring into my lungs as I struggle to keep living. I begin to...
Choke. I can't breathe as those horrible memories, so painfully vivid, come to the surface of my mind. I try to bring in air but cannot manage it. All I can do is make loud gasping sounds as I try. I steel myself and, with all my might, try to inhale. It works. Slowly, loudly, I manage to rasp in a breath. Now, to push it out.
"Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh," I rasp while I turn over and get to my feet, careful to make sure I'm putting most of my weight on my good leg as I do so. Breathing out isn't much easier than breathing in at this point. The memories of what had happened were simply too vivid to easily deal with. I slowly suck in the air again. Then, I clench my fists, throw back my head in determination. Tell myself that, yes, I can do this and...
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHGG," this time it's more of a battle cry then a moan. To choke on my fear is just too pathetic an end. I will beat this. I. Will. BREATH!
It works. I begin to breathe normally again. I slump my shoulders in relief as my throat finally unlocks. Finally. Now, all I have to do is to stop thinking about how I...
Died.
"NO," I cry involuntarily. My body jerking around as I try to shake myself away from the grim thought. That didn't happen. I'm still alive, dammit.
What difference does it make? You're going to die anyway.
"But I don't wanna die," I argued in a high-pitched tone, as I start to grow more anxious.
But you WILL die. Just like...
"No..." I whisper, not wanting to hear this.
"No," I repeat, more loudly, while my agitation rises.
No, no, NO!" my voice becomes every time I say the word my voice becomes more shrill as I try to block out the thoughts like I had many times before. However, I am too weak now, too vulnerable from my near death experience just moments ago and so the last thought comes, unbidden.
Just like your parents.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," For the second time as many minutes I scream out. However, unlike the former instance, which was shout of defiance, this is a cry of surrender.
Because I knew.
I knew, down to my bones, that one day I would end up just like them and nothing would ever change that. I knew this but I am still so afraid. I just cannot accept it because despite everything that had happened...
"I don't wanna die, I wanna live," sobs started breaking out of my body as I collapsed back to the ground curled up in a ball. I was going into a full-blown panic attack by this point.
Sometimes you beat the fear, sometimes it beats you. My mind is blank, all I can think about is how close it was and how it will be my inevitable end no matter what I do to put it off. No matter how hard I try to break free, I just can't.
Had I been thinking more clearly, I might have wondered at how I might have arrived at this strange place. I might have noted how odd my survival was or how active I had immediately became after waking (as opposed to how people usually are when they get their lungs cleared of water) I might even have noticed something important about my 'bad' leg. Perhaps I'd have noticed a lot of things... but I wasn't and I didn't. All I could do was curl myself into a ball, cry and occasionally scream out in pure terror. There was nothing more terrifying than dying.
Nothing.
After some time. More than a minute but less than twenty. I suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder. I don't know to whom it belongs to but I simply can't bring myself to care. I'm scared out of my mind and the prospect of human contact was something I latched on to immediately. I spin around and tackle hug the person that had done so.
"I don't wanna die," I repeated for the umpteenth time in a still highly emotional tone. God, it was like I was six years old all over again. I feel the person stiffen against me as I hung on to... to her.
After a few moments she relaxes again while wrapping her hands around me. I feel so weak. My legs give out from under me and I drag down her tiny frame with me. I grab her tightly as I started to sniffle again. My nose had long since gotten runny from crying at this point. I think she's saying something but I can't really hear her. So I just keep holding on to her for all I am worth, at this moment, she had become my only life-line in the world.
In less time then I would have thought, I finally calm down enough to acknowledge this woman who had consoled me.
"I was so scared. Thank you for holding me. It helps," I finally said. I could now start thinking straight. My words are heartfelt but also feel inadequate in expressing my gratitude. How many times had my private terrors overtaken me with no one around that was willing to do more than tell me to 'man up'? How many times had those bullies tried and to use my almost phobic fear against me?
"Death," they'd say to me. Fortunately, they were just kids and didn't really understand how to trigger my fear back then, therefore I could ignore them. When we got older I had learned enough tricks to not break down in public anymore. So they had forgotten how badly it effected me.
Truth is, it was priests that were my biggest obstacle. Their calm acceptance of life's inevitable fate, is something I just cannot not handle. The delusions of another life or that there was some sort of comfort to be found from such a horrible event always had a way of shaking me to my core.
Even worse was that my godparents forced me to endure listening to that tripe every Sunday for years. Breaking down was not an option either, all that did was earn me punishment, especially since my public freak-outs caused them embarrassment and they refused to let me skip mass. Earplugs became mandatory, as did a sharp focus to block out the outside world.
A small part of my brain wondered if maybe she deplored me for my un-manly actions. I hoped not. I looked out, and finally started to become aware of my surroundings. It seemed I was on a roof of a large building.
"Where are we? Are we on a hospital?" I ask, hesitantly. This was so far off from where I was that I could almost think what happened was a dream. Except for the fact that no dream could duplicate the feeling of my lungs filling with liquid, so perfectly. I really wished I could forget it.
"No," came an extremely soft reply. "There are no hospitals here."
"Oh..." I was becoming more aware that things were not right. I was fully dressed, for starters. Before I just had my swimming trunks. Something strange was going on. "The last thing I remember was being underwater. Are... Are you the one that saved me then?" I asked in a small voice.
"No," she said again. "You died."
"What?" I felt a cold chill. Could I have died? Could I...
"You died, she repeated. "You died and then came here, to the world after death."
My body tensed up as I once more buried my face into her chest. Could it be true? Was I really dead? No. IMPOSSIBLE! My fear threatened to overwhelm me again but... Didn't.
Because of her.
I couldn't remember the last time I had been in this kind of contact with another person. My godparents have always been... Distant and cold, even during the best of times. I also hadn't ever had any real friends to speak of that I would feel comfortable expressing this side too. I certainly didn't know anyone that I was sure would accept this sort of contact, rather than shaking me off. She didn't pull away though. In fact, I felt a hand come to the back of my head as she waited for me to relax again. After a few moments, I did.
I turn my head around, looking, really looking, at my surroundings for the first time. I thought about what to say to her revelation. Now that I was thinking clearly again, I wondered why she would say such a thing. On the surface, it seemed absurd. How could I be dead? Yet, I was unable to refute that I had definitely drowned a very short time ago, with no one around to save me. Burned into my brain, this memory was. What to say to a statement like that?
"So..." I began and then the proper response just hit me. "Are you also dead?"
"I... Yes," it took her a moment before she finally admitted it. I got the impression that she tends to sidestep talking about her own status and felt that her admission was her giving me a small show of trust.
"I see," I thought about it some more. Then I began to chuckle. It felt good to laugh.
"Did I say something amusing?" she asked
"Yes. Tell me. If you are dead, then why is your body so warm?" I suddenly had a thought and put my fingers to my neck. "If I'm dead then why can I feel my heart still beating?" I asked while feeling my pulse. "You say I'm not alive? I can't remember when I felt MORE alive! In fact... In fact..." My eyes widened as I moved my hand to my face. My glasses. They were gone. I couldn't believe it. My eyesight was better. I could see perfectly!
I broke the hug and got my first look at the girl I had desperately clung to for the last few minutes. She was tiny, with lovely, silvery white hair. Oddly, it seemed to have an almost violet tinge to it. Her eyes were golden, an unusual color to say the least. I noted that her facial features were Asian, classically so. This was actually rather surprising since the family was currently vacationing in Hawaii. There was no expression on her face though. None. Combined with her porcelain features, she was almost like a doll.
"I can see clearly again," I stated in wonder. I looked at the back of my hand. "And the thumbnail that got torn off..." memories of just how that had happened attempted to revisit me. I banished them easily, however. Now that I no longer had a visible reminder of it, I somehow felt that it had lost some of its power over me. I wondered if I would finally be able to let that trauma go.
"My God, it was years ago. It's back. That's amazing, " and it was amazing. Impossible even. Something had clearly happened. How had it regenerated? I looked into her eyes. She really was quite beautiful.
"It's the nature of this world," she explained. "When you arrive, you will be in perfect health and any damage your body acquires, in the future, will also be repaired. It's impossible to become sick or die."
"Is that so?" I wondered aloud. I wanted to disbelieve but she said it with such an air of certainty. Besides, vision doesn't just correct itself on its own. "Well, perhaps that's so."
I was suddenly self-conscious of the familiar way I had touched her and backed up a bit so that we were no longer intertwined. However, as we parted, my hand moved to hold hers. I was reluctant to let go of her completely. It had been a very long time since I had last had physical contact and I craved the sensation.
She didn't pull away...
"I believe that introductions are in order," I decided. "I'm Bailey, Jacob," I continued, deciding to go first. There was a short pause.
"May I know your name, dead girl?" I asked.
"Tachibana, Kanade ," she replied simply "I am the school council president".
"Kanade," I smiled. "That's lovely. Means to play music right?" I asked, not paying attention to the title she gave herself. I don't wait for a reply before continuing, acting with a confidence I don't feel, "it's a pleasure to meet you, Kanade-san."
"Kanade-san?" she looked at me with that same expressionless face. It was impossible to discern anything from it but luckily I had other cues to go by. Her body remained relaxed. Therefore, I can tell she was simply asking why I had chosen such a familiar form of address, not berating me for doing so. I relaxed a bit realizing this.
"Yes," I reply, my smile dropped as I became serious. "If it's alright with you, I would like for us to become friends and refer to each other by our first names."
"Why?" To some people, the flat tone of her voice and the way she simply stared might have intimidated. However, for me it was actually welcoming. I was so used to being looked down on by this point that having no reaction at all was honestly encouraging.
"Because you held and comforted me when I needed it," now I looked away, slightly embarrassed at the admission. As I tried to explain, I noticed that the sun about to set in a red sky. "I don't really understand what is going on but you did something for me that no one has done since my parents..." I paused, choking up a bit. I was a bit surprised by this. I couldn't remember the last time I had gotten upset about admitting that I was an orphan. Then again, my emotions had been on something of a roller coaster ride of late.
"Since my parents died. I was six at the time, you know. My godparents took over for them right away, even before the funeral happened. Ever since then, they told me to suck it up when I got depressed or scared, especially my godfather. Punished me for it. I tried being less emotional but I never really could manage. Not like you can," I looked at her again.
"I'm actually a bit envious," I continued. "You've really managed to learn how to suppress your emotions. No matter how hard I tried, I've always ended up wearing them on my sleeve but... that's neither here nor there." I look away again.
"Anyway, they had a son at the time and while they doted on him, I was left alone. They were quite neglectful, in fact, even hostile," best not to go into too many details of what 'hostile' meant, I decided.
"Plus, my brother picked up on their opinion of me and bullied me with his friends," why was I telling her all this? Why trust her? I'd been let down so many times already, yet I wanted to anyway. Needed to.
"There were also other changes. A big one was moving to Japan. You may have noticed that I don't exactly look like a native," I was Caucasian, in fact, with blue eyes and sandy brown hair. Wait, wasn't this Hawaii? Why did I think I was in Japan again? Oh, right, she's speaking flaunt Japanese. Hmm, I guess this isn't really a country at all if we are truly in a spirit realm though. Unless it's one of those places where everyone can understand everyone else... Maybe I should say something in English? Damn. Just roll with it. Backtracking now would make me seem stupid and I've paused long enough.
"Well," I finally continue, scratching the back of my head with my free hand. She hadn't corrected me so maybe I really was in some sort of Japanese spirit world? "My looks didn't exactly do me any favors as I was easy to spot. Also, easy to ostracize and, believe me, they did. It also didn't help that I didn't know how to speak Japanese when I arrived. Had one hell of a learning curve afterwords, let me tell ya."
"/You wouldn't speak English by any chance?/" I asked. Going off-topic, for a moment, indulging my curiosity.
"/Quite fluently, in fact,/" she replied. Well, one question answered, at least. No universal translator.
"I see. Anyway, I've always had a regret," I wondered why I was putting it in the past tense. Was it because I had accepted my... transportation to this world, deep down, or perhaps because I see it as a past life? I'm not really dead, after all, at least not in the way I was always afraid of. As an afterlife though, it seemed rather mundane. I don't know, how can I be dead when my heart still beats and my memories remain intact? I just feel so normal.
Why use the word 'regret', anyway? I don't really recall 'regretting' my actions at all. It wasn't my fault, the way they treated me, as far as I knew. Well, I might have gotten some more friends if I had acted different. Perhaps if I had given into peer pressure. Maybe started smoking and drinking like the other teens or made fun of the one or two kids that were bigger losers then me. Such things were against my nature though. No matter if they cost me popularity or not. Still, saying it, somehow, felt right.
'I'd always wished to find someone I could love and whom would love me in return,' that was the secret wish of my heart. Telling her such a thing would be me being completely honest. I really wanted to do so but... isn't that statement a little too close to a confession? Plus, we had just met. What if she took it the wrong way? She might think that I suddenly wanted that kind of relationship with her. Which I didn't, right?
"To find friends and a place where I belonged," I stated instead. Just because I'd never had a girlfriend doesn't mean I should try jumping on anyone I find just because they show me a little kindness. Besides, she looked a little too young for me anyway, now that I think about it. I wonder how old she is? More importantly, how long has she lived here? Do we even age?
"This is the closest I have been to another in a long time and even if it doesn't mean much to you, it does to me. I know we just met and don't know each other at all but I feel safe around you," I turned my face to her again and tried to convey the utter sincerity of the words I had spoken.
Why a small girl like this would make me feel safe, I wasn't sure. She didn't look like she could fight her way out of a paper bag. Never mind that I was the man. Men aren't supposed to let the woman make them feel safe, or so I've been told, repeatedly. Still, I felt the innate correctness of my statement. She had, well within the space of a half hour, become important to me.
"Plus, if everything you say is true. I'm essentially alone now. I need help to figure out how I fit in this... place," I finally finish.
"I see," she replied.
We became silent, as I waited for her to consider the things I had just told her. I found her silences comforting anyway. When people spoke, it tended to go badly for me a lot of the time. Besides, I knew perfectly well that it was a lot to dump on a person I had just met. However, I had been alone for such a long time and this place... I somehow felt that I would be staying in this place for some time to come. Perhaps this is a chance for a new start?
"In that case, please feel free to rely on me to help ease your regrets until such time as you are ready to move-on, Jacob-san," it wasn't exactly a ringing endorsement but I'd take it. Well, actually, it might very well be one. She didn't strike me as the type to shower effusive praise. A hard one to read, this girl was.
'What did she mean by 'move-on' though?' I wondered.
"Thank you, Kanade-san," I decided that I would ask later. A friend, an actual friend that would stay with me in this weird world I had ended up in. How wonderful was that? Being around her also had a sense of rightness to it. At the same time though, I wasn't really sure how to go ahead. I hadn't really developed many social skills. I could ask more about where we were and how this reality works, assuming we really are in some sort of spirit realm. Maybe even ask for some other proof that we are, as the Munchkins say, 'really, most sincerely, dead'. I really shouldn't believe such statements so easily, after all, eyesight and thumbnail notwithstanding.
"So," I decided against doing so and instead opted to ask about her. "What instrument do you play? You do play, correct?"
"I learned how to play the piano," she revealed.
"Hah, my godparents had a baby grand piano in the home. I wasn't supposed to touch it but, every chance I got when they were away, that was the first thing I went for. Perhaps you could teach me sometime? I had always wanted to learn."
"That sounds manageable, there are a number of keyboards in the music room." Bleh. Just keyboards? She paused for a moment before continuing. "Your family sounds rather wealthy," she observed. I think that was the first time she had said something on her own initiative. An encouraging sign.
"Yes, in terms of money, my godparents were not lacking. I had all my needs met. They did that much for me, at least," my words became a bit bitter at this statement. They met my physical needs, yes, but not my emotional ones. In addition, my 'wants' were a very low concern. They had even gone out of their way to snub me. For example, they never bought me brand name clothing, except for some suits for when I was around their friends. I didn't really care, to be honest, but it did give my classmates, at the snobby school I attended, another reason to shun me.
Even the vacation to Hawaii had a secondary reason. It was to allow me to keep my American citizenship, which the felt they owed me since my parents lived there and I might want to go back some day. I've been excluded on many other trips however, especially family reunions. My godparents made it VERY clear that I was not a 'real' child of theirs.
"I see," she stated. I felt it was time to change topics.
"So, why did you come up here? To see the sunset?" It was dipping into the ground as I spoke.
"Yes, I sometimes spend time watch it here from the rooftop while it falls down," she replied, turning her head towards it.
"Well then, lets watch it together before it's done," I finally let go of her hand as I move up beside her. She also turns her body towards the sun.
We sit, in silence, side by side until it fell down and nothing was left except darkness.
"So what happens now?" I ask.
"What do you mean?" she questions back.
"Well, I mean, where am I supposed to live? HOW am I supposed to live? Where do I go? You know, what's next?" I expand upon my original statement.
"Next, you will have to find your dormitory. You should join classes tomorrow morning," she began.
"Classes?" I interrupt. "So, this place is a school?"
"Yes, a school for the dead," it's too dark to really be able to see her clearly anymore. There is only one light on this roof and it's by the entrance door, which was a ways away from here. I frowned.
"Oh, now that I think about it, didn't you mention being on the student council?" I asked the memory of her introduction swirling into my brain.
"Yes, I am the student council president," she clarified. Giving me her title again.
"Right," I reply, becoming pensive. "So everyone here is... 'dead', as well?" I question. Avoiding, for now, the elephant in the room of how exactly we could be dead when we were also clearly alive. It was a little too much for me to deal with at the moment.
"No," she replies. "Most of the students exist solely to help you experience a more welcoming environment then you had before."
"Huh," I consider the implications of that for a minute. "Sounds nice, actually. So, no more bullies or rumor mongering? No more pranks and teasing or... physical attacks?" that last one being a polite way of asking if I would no longer be beaten until I coughed blood. I ran my tongue along my teeth.
My TEETH!
My eyes widened as I realized that I didn't have a retainer anymore to cover for the canine tooth I had lost during an especially savage pummeling. Frankly, I was lucky it had ended up being just the one. How had I not noticed that until now? So many things fixed. My eyes, my thumbnail, my tooth... I supposed that I wouldn't have a limp anymore either. I hoped not. That had been my worst injury. After that, I was no longer able to run away anymore. The last six months had been especially unbearable because of it.
"Not from them," she clarifies.
"But perhaps from the other..." I really was sick of calling them dead. "Past life students, yes?" I question, reading between the lines. I REALLY needed a better name for this distinction.
"Perhaps," she confirms.
"Hmm," I consider. "Well, I suppose I'll cross that road when I come to it." Maybe I could pretend to be one of these fake people and they would leave me alone? I guessed that they wouldn't get much enjoyment out of attacking them as they would real-world humans.
"How hard is it to differentiate the two?" I ask.
"Very. However, the normal students don't engage in the same aberrant behavior that the dead ones do." she explained.
"Right. So, I would have to watch out for delinquents." I considered this for a moment before suddenly feeling the urge to yawn.
"...I think I'd like to go to my room now. I feel really tired, actually. This past hour or so has really taken a lot out of me." I stand up, a bit unsteadily, smile, and reach out my hand to help her up. My footing, as I had hoped, seems solid. So far, no pain, at least.
"Of course," she agreed while taking my offered hand to pull herself up.
I knew it from the start but she really is quite petite.
"Can you help me find my way there?" I asked. Unsure if she was planning to or not.
"I had originally planned to do so. Follow me," she confirmed as we came to the door.
"Lead the way," I submit to her direction as I take a few experimental steps. As I had hoped, the limp was gone. I sped up, a grin breaking out on my face. I could run again. It was exhilarating. I forget about following for a moment and go as fast as I can to the door. After reaching my target, I open it, turn around and slightly bow as I wait for her to pass by.
"Ladies first," I said while she passed me in silence, never having broken her stride. Cool as a cucumber, that one is.
"You don't talk much. I think I kinda like that about you. Still... I am curious about why." I mention as the door to the roof closed and I resume to following her.
"I tend to find silence being an effective means to maintain things how I wish," she responded.
"Meaning you stay quiet to keep others away," oh man, did I ever understood that. Yes, Kanade-san was exactly what I had tried to become while growing up but was unable to manage. I just couldn't stop myself from feeling, from wanting. No matter how hard I tried.
"We might be more suited to each other than I had originally thought. You really are everything I wanted to be," I continued on in admiration, while clomping down the hall. Childishly, I started avoiding the lines where the floor tiles intersected. Sometimes, small steps, sometimes large as I moved from tile to tile. Even a few hops from time to time. Doing any of this has been unfeasible while my leg was still hurt.
It felt so good to have my fine motor control back. I could skip, I could dance, I could jump and run. It was a miracle. On top of that, all the people who made my life unbearable were gone! Truly, I had been saved. How could the world not know of this place? It seemed like a frikken paradise and no belief in God was necessary before being bought here. HA! Take that you damn religious fanatics.
The entrance was just ahead.
"I'm really glad I met you when I did, perhaps it was fate that governed our encounter," I consider.
"Perhaps," she replied. I wondered how likely she considered that idea as she stepped outside. I began to follow more closely, abandoning my little games with myself. We continue to walk in comfortable silence for a bit. Eventually, we approach a building.
"This is the boys barracks up ahead?"I question.
"Yes," she confirmed. I start to smile again. Playfully this time.
"Race you to the door," and without waiting for her to reply I take off. Marveling in the feel of having my limbs fully returned to me. I wondered if she would run after me, knowing she wouldn't be able to catch up or if she would just keep walking at her steady...
She passed me so suddenly that I didn't even realize it until all I could see was her backside. I goggled at her speed and resolved to try harder. It was no use though. The gap only widened and she ended up reaching the door with a sizable lead on me.
She wasn't even breathing hard when I caught up! She just touched the door, turned around and began waiting again in that relaxed pose that I believed was her normal state. Despite the clear loss, I didn't slow down until I too had touched the door. Panting hard, I turned to face her.
"Amazing Kanade-san," I marveled. "You are unexpectedly fast for such a small build. I admit I didn't think you'd actually chase me. Let alone WIN! I'll have to try to find some other contest where I might be able to match your skill."
"Check your left pocket. A paper containing your room number is inside, along with your class schedule," she informs me, ignoring my praise.
"Ah," I give a start and reach into my pocket, pulling out two papers. I look as the smaller one. "Yes, here it is. Room 312. I believe I will be able to find my way from here. Thank you."
"So," I wonder. "When can we meet again?"
"I will be available for lunch. Wait at the dispensers and I shall meet you there," she decided.
"Dispensers huh," I hadn't thought much about how I would be eating from now on. "Is food free here then?"
"No, all students are given vouchers to use at the food dispensers. I shall help you gain them when we meet again tomorrow," we stood in silence for a moment before she continued. "If that will be all I must retreat to my dormitory. Goodnight Jacob-san."
With that she turned to leave but before she had taken five steps I called out to her, "Kanade-san," I said as she paused. "Thank you again. Just... Thank you. I really am glad we met and I look forward to seeing you again soon." It was hard to express my gratitude for what she had done for me this night but I tried my best.
She turned around to face me, only to discover that I was performing a deep bow. If this surprised her, she gave not a sign. Instead she politely replied, "You are most welcome. Goodnight."
"Goodnight," I repeated back. I really wanted to hug her again but I didn't know how to initiate such a thing when I wasn't in the middle of a nervous breakdown. So, instead, I kept bowing until she walked away and I could no longer hear her footsteps.
And with that, I straightened myself up, turned around, and headed to my dorm for the night.
Kanade reflected on the situation she had encountered while going back to her dorm. Had she been anyone else, there might have been an expression of contemplation on her face. However, just because she there was no sign of her pondering, did not mean she wasn't deep in thought.
The new arrival, Jacob, was... Different, odd. For many reasons. For starters, he was far more traumatized by his death than was typical. Normally, when the arrival awakened, the experience of dying would be lessened, almost like a dream. This was done to help ease the mind of the arrival and help him adjust to his new status. It was actually more common for an arrival to suffer amnesia then for them to be so drastically affected by the experience. She had seen that sort of thing before, of course, there was little she hadn't seen from new arrivals by this point, but it was unusual.
That was just the start, the boy was Caucasian. Currently, there was not a single person that wasn't of Asian decent in the entire school. The last one to have shown up had moved-on quite some time ago. He'd also displayed a curious acceptance of the situation. Not asking her any weird questions or wanting her to prove what she said. That would have been fine but also denied he was dead.
She was unsure how he could accept the former truth but reject the latter. His denial could be problematical to her efforts to help him move-on. Especially since she could not disprove his assertion. By pretty much any measure, he did maintain the semblance of life, as did the rest of the inhabitants of this world. The only noticeable differences between this and true life being his accelerated healing factor and that he would no longer age. Women also no longer had to worry about their period. This didn't affect him, of course, but it was still a notable and, frankly, rather agreeable difference from being truly alive.
He'd also acted unusually familiar with her, calling her by her first name and with the body contact. Truthfully, it didn't really matter to her what she was called or how she was being touched (within limits, of course). She was, of course, aware of her cultures social customs regarding names and proper conduct. It was typical to refer to each other by ones family name and even holding hands can be considered an intimate gesture. However, such trivial concerns were beyond her now. It didn't matter to her what she was called and, as long as it wasn't an attack, she saw no reason to care about touching him, especially when it seemed to bring comfort. She didn't even mind being called 'Tenchi' by the delinquents, other than it led them to believe that she really WAS an 'Angel'. Additionally, he appeared to be fluent in English. Surprisingly few arrivals were capable in this language, beyond a few basic phrases, for whatever reason.
However, the thing which really shocked her, to her core, was him asking if she was dead as well. NOBODY asked that.
Kanade had given her speech, welcoming the new arrival to the world beyond death, countless times. Not once, not ONCE, had anyone ever asked her if she was an arrival as well. Oh, they had asked questions of her, certainly. They'd ask how she knew so much, or what she was, and the like. Whenever she was in such a situation, she'd simply reply that she was the school council president and that, was that.
It wasn't that she was incapable of talking about her origins. She simply failed to see the relevance of it. Unlike the others, she was stuck here. No matter how many classes she attended, no matter how hard she tried to fit in, there was no moving on for her. She had realized, a long time ago, that all she could do is wait for the one who she needed to thank to arrive.
Indeed, by this point, her position was her identity. It was everything to her. She didn't think of herself as an arrival. Why would she? She couldn't depart. The others had no idea how lucky they were. How fortunate it was that they had the opportunity to move on to a new life. For someone who wants to leave but can't, it's easier to push aside your previous affiliations and to give yourself wholly to the present. However, he had specifically asked if she was also dead, so she had given him a straight answer. There was no reason to hide it.
His reaction... It was nice. He was treating her like a person. He didn't seem even slightly put off by her mannerisms. It had been a long time since someone had been like this around her. Even someone as cut off from her emotions as she was could appreciate it. He was just so... happy to have someone to talk to. It gave a lot of credence to his statement that what he needed most was a sense of belonging.
Kanade hoped that helping him move-on would be a simple affair.
version 3. more slight edits.
version 4. many edits. got rid of almost all the blue and green lines that show up on this spell check. I also slightly changed bits of dialogue.
version 5. Changed the name of OC to Bailey, Jacob . He's supposed to be American so he should have an American name. Finally managed to underline the chapter title.
version 6. Centered some of the text at the beginning.
version 7. Missed an intended correction of the OC's name. Fixed now.
Version 8. Had him ask more politely to be friends. changed front tooth to canine tooth, flipped full names to have family name first (in japanese tradition, don't like that one but...) and decided to use the more polite -san suffix, slight changes to hand holding, changed the hug at the end to a bow.
Version 9. Added a Kanade POV to the end.
Thinking of changing the name to 'Second Life Battleground'.