The last of Voyager's crew exited the Starfleet Headquarters conference room, filing past Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay as they said their goodbyes. For the first time since the ship had landed on the Presidio the prior afternoon, the constant stream of communications, orders, handshakes, and hugs died down. The echo of the heavy door closing faded away until silence descended on the command team in the corridor.
Kathryn and Chakotay turned to each other, and he clasped his hands behind his back as she relaxed her shoulders a fraction. Suddenly, the small distance between them felt like a chasm.
"I don't like saying goodbye."
"Then don't, Kathryn. We'll see each other in a week."
She looked over his left shoulder to the far wall. "Everything will feel so different, won't it? Instead of being within a few meters of each other, I'll be in Indiana and you'll be..." Her eyes cut back to him and she frowned. "Where will you be, Chakotay?"
"Here in San Francisco. Officers' quarters."
"You'll be alone?"
He nodded. "Yes."
"I can't just leave you here."
"Sure you can. I'll be fine, and you need to see your family."
"What will you do?"
A small smile crept across his lips. "Kick off my shoes, put my feet up on the table, maybe leave a dirty cup or two sitting around."
"Come with me." She glanced up into his eyes.
"No, Kathryn. Go see your mother and sister, and all of your other family waiting for you. You don't need me."
"You'll be alone."
"There's a difference between being alone and being lonely."
Her voice softened. "And if you get lonely, Chakotay?"
"Then I'll call my best friend."
"Promise?"
He searched her face and saw the sign that he had been hoping for, that maybe she was waiting for something just as he was. He took a chance. "How about this? Tonight, when everyone else has gone to bed and you're still awake staring out the window, as I know you will be, call me."
"You might be asleep. The family reunion my mother has planned will not be a quiet one."
"I'll stay awake waiting for your call. You can tell me all about the party."
She dipped her head and caught her bottom lip with her teeth. "A whole week, huh?"
"We've been apart that long before."
"It's different." Her chin lifted again, and her blue eyes looked guarded.
"Why?"
"You were my responsibility, Chakotay, just like the rest of the crew. And now," her voice caught with the slightest hitch, "I don't know. I can't explain it."
He allowed a hint of his feelings to show. "The decisions are no longer yours, and the responsibilities have been taken away from you. You feel the loss rather than the relief."
"Yes."
"So do I, Kathryn. Answer one question for me."
"Of course."
"Have I lost you?"
Her answer came immediately. "No, you haven't."
"You haven't lost me, either. I'll be here waiting for you." His cheeks dimpled. "If your reunion gets to be too much, you can retreat to my apartment."
A smile lit her face, but then faded. "You won't come?"
"Not today. See how things go. Spend time with your mother and reconnect with your sister. You can't do that if you have to worry about me."
"I'll worry anyway."
"So will I, so call me tonight."
"I'll call every night." Her words held an undertone of challenge, and a questing for understanding of their meaning.
He responded with assurance. "I would like that."
"I'll see you soon?"
"Yes." He tilted his head toward the main hallway. "Walk me to the transporter?"
She hesitated. "Not this time."
"Why?"
"Because when you go, I'll be alone."
"You're never alone, Kathryn." He held her gaze and let the full force of his love show for a brief moment, then turned to walk away.
"Wait! I don't even know where you live now."
He pivoted his shoulders and looked back toward her. "The PADD is on top of your bag."
"Oh." She glanced over at her luggage on the floor and then smiled. "Tonight, then."
"It's a date."
"Together?"
"Always."
The clip of his boot heels stayed with her long after he disappeared from sight.