A/N: This is going to be a one-shot, I'm kind of on a roll today with fanfics. It's kind of stupid, I just had a weird idea. Please read and review! Constructive criticism is welcome!

The Gryffindor common room was crowded with students celebrating New Year's. More had stayed behind this year than ever. Students were partying, drinking butterbeer and firewhiskey snuck from Hogsmeade.

A girl with long, dark hair stalked inside the common room as the Fat Lady's portrait opened to admit her. She paced furiously up the stairs, stomping so loud several people stopped to watch. Within seconds a boy, a year or so older, entered the common room. He caught sight of the girl on the staircase. "Hey, Katie!"

She whirled around, a look of anger on her face. "What do you want, Wood?" she growled.

"An apology," he called back, a faint smile on his face.

Katie laughed mirthlessly. "Me? Apologize to you?" Many people in the common room were now watching, falling silent.

Wood grinned. "Yeah, something like that."

Katie's face flushed with anger. "You," she spat, "are an arrogant, slimy toerag who thinks I should apologize because you spilt butterbeer all over me."

"Are we telling the truth to eachother?" Oliver asked eagerly, his smile growing wider. "If so, you come across as a bitch sometimes, no offense."

A lot of the people watching began to laugh. Katie's face was now a dark tomato color.

"You're an asshole, you know it?" she sneered.

Everyone in the common room was now watching. A boy with bright red hair called, "Hey Wood, that's a dis!"

"Shut up, Fred," snapped Wood.

"Well, I think he was right to point it out," Katie says breezily, "considering you wouldn't have figured that much out yourself, getting only what, four O.W.L.s?"

Everyone's eyes were glued to Oliver Wood as he replied. "Very funny. At least I can see the Quaffle."

At this Katie turned from tomato to eggplant, her face an impressive violet color. "You're a pain in the arse, Wood, and I'm tired of listening to you." She turned to head upstairs again.

Oliver was still smiling, though. "Hey, hey Bell! I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my arse!"

At this the common room roared with laughter. Katie Bell turned around on the stairs, but she looked a bit amused now. "When was the last time you went to Hogsmeade? Zonko's is selling lives now-you should get one." And still, she began walking out of the common room.

"Do you have to leave so soon?" Oliver mocked. "I was about to poison the butterbeer!"

Eyes traveled from Wood to Katie to Wood again in this sort of showdown. It was the most entertainment the students at Hogwarts had seen all night.

"Oh, shut up, you'll never be the man your mother was," Katie said with a sneering smile.

"Oh, is that the best you can do? I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a better insult than that," Wood said idly.

And back and forth it went, from one to the other, like a never-ending tennis match.

"You're a prick," Katie says.

"Are we being honest with eachother?" Wood asks enthusiastically. "Because if so, you're probably the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on."

At this Katie blushed bright red, but she seemed to be stammering for a response. "Really?" she asked at last.

"Well, obviously I had to spill butterbeer on you for a reason," Oliver said easily. "Why don't we go for a walk around the grounds?"

And all of the Gryffindors in the common room watched, amused, as they saw Oliver Wood and Katie Bell leaving through the portrait, hand in hand.