Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is owned by J.K. Rowling and Scholastic Press. This is a parody fanwork by fans for fans and no money was made off of the creation of this fanwork.

AN: Please note that this is written in the style of an eleven year old girl. That includes all misspellings, terrible punctuation and grammar, duplicate and missing words because at the age of eleven writing skills are still being refined and technical details are not important. This will be especially true in later chapters. Trust us, the improper grammar bothers us quite a bit too but it is deliberate.

AN2: The fic is rated M because of frank scientific discussion of sex in clinical terms. This apparently bothers some people who go about clutching pearls and asking people to "think of the children." There is no sex in this don't expect there to be.

oOo

The Super Secret Diary of Ginevra Molly Weasley

by FanficAllergy & RoseFyre

oOo

August 20th, 1992

Dear Diary,

Yesterday was the best day ever. Even Lucius Malfoy couldn't make it a bad day! I got to see the Gilderoy Lockhart. And even better, I was with (can you believe it?) the Harry Potter! He's so cuuuuuuute! I am so excited that I finally get to go to Hogwarts this year, I hope I get sorted into Gryffindor with Harry Potter!

I'm gonna marry him, you know.

Ginevra Molly Potter.

Mrs. Ginevra Molly Potter.

Mrs. Ginevra Molly Potter.

Mrs. Ginevra Molly Potter!

Oh, I could really get used to that! It sounds so much better than plain old Ginny Weasley.

You know, it's so hard to get noticed when you're the baby of the family, and it's even worse when you're the only girl too! What I wouldn't give to have a sister instead of all these stupid brothers. Maybe I can find some girls at Hogwarts to be my friends. I hope Harry notices me and doesn't just see me as "Ron Weasley's little sister." I bet he would be a great friend too. He was so nice to me when we went out shopping for school supplies today. I wonder if he is the one who slipped you into my cauldron? I know he doesn't have that much money because the clothes he wears are so big and baggy and clearly secondhand but I don't mind he's still Harry Potter and I'm gonna marry him someday! Although I wonder who Tom Riddle is and why he'd got rid of a perfectly good blank diary. Maybe he died and was one of those people who writes their name in everything even if they never use it. Percy does that, probably to keep Fred and George from taking his stuff. I wish I knew. But I'm not going to look a gift diary in the mouth!

I'd better go, Mum's calling me for dinner and if I don't go now, one of the boys will sit next to Harry and I won't be able to!

Wish me luck!

XOXO

Ginny

oOo

AN:

So, yeah, this is a thing that's happening. This was inspired by a Buzzfeed Article called "29 Times Tumblr Raised Serious Questions About 'Harry Potter'" specifically point number 6. So RoseFyre and I decided we kind of needed to make this an actual thing. I yanked out my old diary from when I was about that age for inspiration and we went from there. This is what you get.

It will be updated twice a week on Mondays and Fridays just to prevent inbox spam because this fic is already written.