Chapter 27

I suppose now that you learned all about my goddamn life you want to know more about how I was changed and all but really, has anyone ever been forced to have anything really changed if you don't want to? They really think I was the one that needed to be psychoanalyzed when there's a whole world of phonies out there. Of course I don't tell that to the goddamn bastards here, it's like they give a damn if you're depressed or not, just as long as you're not crazy and all. I'll bet you that they probably just let you stay here so you actually just think about what a stupid moron you are and you can't do anything about it except pay them. It's just like going to the movies, I tell you, you regret it the moment it starts but you have no choice but to sit there and watch. So I sit there reading my book but I couldn't stop looking up. You see, I'm not supposed to be smoking but I can't help it, those goddamn nurses act so sweet and all but really, they are crazy as madman. I ringed up one once, her name was Gail or something and she was nice and all, that is, when you act all innocent and all.

"Could you find me a lighter, Gail?" I asked her, "You see, I seemed to have lost mine."

"You can't be smokin' in here, son," She smiled like she just won the goddamn lottery or something as she pointed to the "No Smoking" sign that I look at every day. God it was phony. So I tried getting out of bed. Boy, was I sore from lying in bed. At least it was actually a nice bed, it really was, and the pillows were very soft. But she actually restrained me, "You'll have to stay in your room, son,"

"Do you happen to smoke?" I asked, lazily drawing out a cigarette from my drawer; maybe she would have a lighter on her.

"No," She shook her head, "Sonny, is that all? Someone else is ringing me up, I've got to go now," And she left the room, closing the door. I bet no one was actually calling her up, even if there was, I think I was actually doing her a goddamn favor instead of having to wipe someone's ass. They always treat us that way because we're "juvenile delinquents" or something but when it's an adult who goes to the hospital, everyone just feels sorry for them, and the nurses practically throws them a tea party every time they come to visit them. They don't give a rat's face about you either, nurses.

So I sat there, then suddenly D.B walks in with Old Phoebe and they look like the happiest people on earth to see me or something. I didn't really expect them, to be honest, I wasn't even thinking of it. They kept standing at the door with a smile on their face, those bastards. D.B. told Phoebe to wait outside for a moment while he talked to me, he said it was a man to man talk and that killed me. I suddenly remembered those times Allie and I said that to Phoebe and I was suddenly so depressed. She finally agreed to leave. So D.B walked toward me and I didn't give a damn about him, I hadn't even seen him in God knows how long. He was smiling like a madman. Boy, he looked even flittier, he looked a goddamn moron who threw money in your face to make you feel worse because he's got enough to throw them into your face while you don't have any. If some moron threw money in my face, I would probably confront them and call them a lousy, good for nothing idiot. I mean, if I had a load of dough, I wouldn't do that, only people who didn't work for money like those rich bastards at Pencey Prep or Elkton Hills would brag about money. However, if you earned that money rightfully, then it's a whole different story.

"So Holden," He sat at the end of my bed, crossing his legs and patting me, "My, how you've grown,"

"Cut the crap, D.B," I smirked, for a moment I couldn't help it, after all, he was my brother and all.

"Well, what do you say, daddy-o, I missed you, hand me that skin!" D.B stuck his hand out and I had no choice but to shake it. He was always using those phrases, it kills me.

Everyone says me and D.B looks alike but I don't see it at all, they just say that to be nice because we both have the same hair color, before mine went gray, and because we are both tall and skinny. You see, D.B is actually quite a handsome guy, though I would never say that because he's so goddamn conceited.

"How's Hollywood?" I asked, "Find any hot dames to give the time to?"

"Oh plenty to consider," He smiled like a dirty bastard.

"You think you can introduce me to any?" I casually asked.

"All much too old for you, Holden, and besides," He looked around casually, "I'm too busy working on my new stories," but he switched the topic, "I heard you had one lousy weekend,"

So Daddy and Mother sent him here from Hollywood. I felt so blue thinking about how I saw mother when I went home that afternoon, I don't even want to talk about it. It broke my heart to see her cry, and next thing I know, Daddy was damn ready to send me to military school. They couldn't even come to see me themselves, lousy parents they are.

I sat there silent as hell.

"Holden?" D.B looked at me as if we were in a goddamn flick he wrote or something, he looked way too serious. I answered with an annoyed grunt and he called me name out once more, "Holden?"

But I found myself telling him about it all, how the world is controlled by a bunch of phonies. He nodded his head like a madman every time I looked at him as if that implied he really was listening to me, it killed me. I was so depressed when I found out the bastard actually did care though. I didn't really want to talk about my weekend anymore so I decided to choose between having an intellectual conversation with him or not. At least he was smart not to ask about the hospital, like most people would. It's like asking me if I actually enjoy going to the boarding schools. It kills me. It felt like a goddamn long time talking to D.B for the first time in how long and he promised to come back, that he was staying until next month and I suddenly realized I didn't even know what day it was. He stood up and told me that he needed to run a special errand. Anyways, he smiled all wide when he said that, saying special all slow and all and he called Phoebe in.

"Finally! It's been over twenty minutes!" She came in her blue coat and she looked nice as hell. She hugged me tightly, kissing me on the cheek. Boy, did I feel like some wise man on his deathbed. I swear Old "Weatherfield" makes me so happy, "Are you going with D.B? Or staying with me?" Sure, Phoebe's done it at least ten thousand times, staying here with me on weekends or in the evenings after school ended. She was hesitant and frowned. "Holden, I got to go with D.B, but we'll be back in the evening with Mama and Daddy," She hugged me tighter as D.B was putting on his coat, buttoning it up to his neck. It was cold as hell outside, it seemed. Through the windows, I could see only the top of the trees since I was on one of the top floors. It was supposedly reserved for important people or something but still, I could tell it was cold. Anyways, the trees weren't even much to look at; they were all bare without their leaves because it was winter. They were never any birds in the sky either; I wanted to see something that was actually alive instead of just the morons in the institute. They make me want to puke.

"Come on, Phoebs, we've got to split, the nearest subway station is ten minutes away" D.B fixed his collar, looking at me with a twinkle in his eyes, "See you later, Holden, take a rest, brother."

They walked to the door and sure I sat there, trying not to show how I was actually so goddamn depressed. Then Phoebe turned around and bit her lip, her red hair flying around and she came running over to my side, and whispered in my ear, her breath all warm, "Love you, Holden," She felt bad about leaving me and then her next words made me realize why they had decided to come today, "Happy seventeenth birthday, Holden." Boy, it killed me.

A/N Hey thanks for reading! So did you like it? Did it somewhat match up to the awesome Salinger? :D LOVE Catcher in the Rye!