"So this is your fourth time in therapy in the past two years?" Bert mutters. God I hate him so much I really wanna punch his stupid little strawberry nose right back into his face. Remember that sketch we did on iCarly when I was the vampire with the huge nose but it all failed because me and Carly were fighting but then we made up? Well his nose is like that. I roll my eyes, kicking my feet up onto the coffee table in front of me. Carly always said that it's rude to put your gross dirty shoes on a table meant for coffee cups and stuff but I don't care 'cause I wanna be rude to this guy. What had he ever done for me? How come he gets to know more about me than I do and he's only met me a couple of times? How come he gets to sit and interview me for hours on end? I always ask these questions but nobody has the answer. Well I bloody hate Bert and the rest of his stupid nerdy gang of therapists 'cause I don't need any of them. I've got Carly and Frednub and Spencer and that's all I'll ever need. Four times in therapy in two years isn't bad right? There's kids out there who are in every hour. I don't have to explain myself to some stupid looking man with huge bulges in his face or a lady with a frikin combover! No way. I would so storm outta here if it wasn't for Carly. She's given me one last chance to make things right and I'm taking every appointment I can if it means that Carly will be happy with me. God, I sound like such a suck up! I'm really not I just don't wanna lose my best friend – she's the only thing I've got left. I nod remembering that everything I say or do is being recorded. It's like Juvie all over again. Bert smiles a little and writes something down. My anger hasn't pushed over the top, yet.
"And can you tell me why you've come here? I believe that therapy hasn't exactly been your favourite place," he stares at me with annoying little piggie brown eyes. His mustache bouncing up and down on his lip like a worm. I know exactly why I'm here. I have to please Carly and I'm on my last warning with the police and I know if I screw up again then back to Juvie. I sigh swinging my feet back off the coffee table so that I can sit forward on the red leather couch. Everything about this room is so office like. I hate it.
"Well," I begin, swallowing against the lump in my throat. "I'm doing this for myself. My best friend, Carly, you might know her from iCarly?" I ask and Bert shakes his head. I sigh and roll my eyes. Who doesn't know about iCarly? Stupid little man with too much facial hair and a squashed up nose with big nostrils. Man I really hate that nose. "She told me that I'm on my last warning with her and the police. If I screw up then I'll go to Juvie and lose my best friend," I sigh as Bert scribbles down some stupid little notes. He nods his pin head slowly and looks back up at me.
"So Carly is your best friend yes?" He smiles when I nod. "She is the reason you're here. She's obviously got quite a big impact on your life. Tell me about this iCarly thing you do," he says and leans back in his seat. We both know that this is going to go on forever but if he wants to spend an hour talking about my most favourite hour of the week with my favourite people then fine by me. I push myself back against the sofa and lean my head back. The ceiling has loads of cracks and the wallpaper is wearing away in the corner. The room is white and brown and everything is plain boring. The wallpaper is white with small silver lines and the carpet is a musty brown. The furniture is all brown or wood and the only thing that stands out is the couch. A desk stands near the back wall with piles and piles of paper work stacked on top of it. An old swivel chair stands directly behind it and a weird plant towers over the top in the corner. Why is everything in here so plain? The middle of the room is empty apart from an old rug and then there's Bert's interview chair. A small tatty brown piece of wood basically. There's a wooden coffee table lies with millions of coffee rings printed on it and then my couch. Well it isn't my couch but I like to think of it as my couch because I sit on it. It's my world 'cause I live on it and It's my life 'cause I control it. I can't lose everything so that's why I'm sitting in this stupid, stuffy, little office.
"Well," I finally manage to start. "iCarly is a web show that me, Carly and Freddie all do together. Freddie came up with the name i for internet and Carly for Carly. We started it because we wanted to do something that adults can't control and we have freedom on iCarly. This one time we got stuck at this girl Nora's house 'cause she was a weirdo freak that had no friends and she trapped us in her basement but then Gibby and Guppy showed up and saved us. It was all pretty cool. But we never got to Webicon. But this year we did and the fans went crazy over 'Creddie' and 'Seddie' which was crazy but we left 'cause Carly's brother Spencer was all for this weird nerd convention thing. This one time on iCarly Freddie quit and we got this by Jeremy instead and he was shit. He is gross. We have loads of fun filming iCarly and I'm over at Carly's quite a lot 'cause her brother is easy going and her dad is in the Royal Marines or something," I say without hesitation. Bert stands up out of his seat and beckons for me to get up too. Has an hour gone past already? It doesn't feel like an hour has gone. What is he doing? He walks over to his desk and folds the paperwork away in a briefcase and turns to me. His legs are annoyingly short and his feet are annoyingly big.
"You've done very well Samantha. I think that's enough for this week," he smiles and ushers me to the door. I frown at him but I'm not one to object to getting out early from torture. His stupid little hands grab the door handle and pull the door open. The smell of the reception hits me like a ton of bricks and Martha, the receptionist, gives me a small smile. She almost smiled at me through her glasses they're down that low on her nose. I turn around yet again to face the small ugly man that interrogates me.
"Why'd you let me out early?" I question.
"Like I said I've heard enough," he shrugs and closes the door to his office. Man how I hate him! But in a brotherly way. He's helping me after all. I start the long walk back to Carly's apartment. As I walk down the hallway all the therapists stare at me – they all know me well 'cause I'm quite a regular here. God that annoys me too. Everybody acts like they don't know you're going to therapy even though they work for it. It's stupid.
"Samantha Puckett?" I hear from behind me. What now? I just wanna leave this place! Is that too much to ask? I turn around to face a young looking lady with jet black hair. She looks up at me with big blue eyes. Man black hair and blue eyes are a weirdly good combination. She's a therapist and I can tell because she's got a big name tag displaying her name. It's Angela.
"What?" I throw at her. Ugh, she's wearing stripes. Damn I hate stripes.
"You have a sister called Melanie, right?" She stares at me with those big blue eyes. You know how they say your eyes don't grow? Well she must have looked like an alien when she was born. They're too big for her face! I sigh and nod. Sadly I have a sister called Melanie. Why is she so damn perfect.
"Your mother called. She said that your sister has been hit by a car. She's not dead but very badly injured. I'm sorry," she says before disappearing back into her office. Yeah you were so sorry weren't you. Yippee this means that my beast of a mother will be gone and I will be free for ages!