Steph Meyer obvious owns all these characters (except Dr Phil :')… you'll see).

This is my first attempt at a fanfic in a while. Lemons in later chapters

BPOV:

This is my third episode of Dr Phil. I can still feel myself coming down from last night's buzz. Who would have thought a few shots, a dance on the bar and having a stranger ram his tongue down my throat could be so damaging? I really can't remember much, but I do remember Alice bringing home a guy. That's why I woke up on the couch still in the clothes I wore last night. I feel sticky and a show wouldn't be declined if offered.

I was just thankful Edward hadn't found me yet. If he found me in my hangover on his lounge indulging in Dr Phil episodes I wouldn't hear the end of it. Edward is Alice's brother, and now roommate. After a rough breakup, Edward decided it was best to live under his sister's roof. What every grown man wants, right? Alice insisted so he wasn't alone, and now I have a party crasher whenever I try and have fun around his sister.

I wouldn't go as far as saying I hate Edward. He was insufferable when he was dating that Tanya bitch. Now he's simply irritating. Alice thinks it could be sexual tension, but I honestly think he believes I'm a pest he wishes to kill with fly spray. That's extreme. Maybe injure slightly. Alice and I had been friends for years, and we knew how to have fun. Edward with all of his maturity thought that our idea of fun was childish.

"What twenty-something year old continually goes out to nightclubs and grinds themselves on top of men out for their bachelor nights?" He would say.

Now, we didn't do it all that often. We would sort of decide to do it last minute. Last night was meant to be movie night, but wine somehow made its way into the story and bam! Suddenly I'm on top of a bar dancing to Toxic by Britney.

"You've got to stop calling your mother a slut!" Dr Phil shouts bringing me back to reality.

I realise I hadn't seen my phone in the last 14 hours. I send up a silent prayer that it isn't on the floor of some night club, shattered. I check under the cushions of the couch; I check under the couch.

"Looking for this?" I hear a low grumble.

I pop my head up from under the couch and see him. He's wearing shorts. That's it. It takes all my control to not look him up and down. To not lick my lips. He looks as if he just woke up. His hair is a tussled copper mess and his expression is one of amusement with a slight hint of grumpy. He looked hot. I didn't need to let him know that but.

"Where did you get that?" I ask.

I walk to him to grab it from his hands. He pulls it back.

"It was on the floor in the hallway," Edward replies, "where's my sister?"

I shrug.

"She's still asleep I think. I only woke up about an hour ago," I lie.

He doesn't need to know Alice has some blonde guy probably in between her legs at current. What a great friend I am. I need to warn Alice that buzzkill Eddie is up and looking for blood. If I can distract Edward long enough she could possibly sneak her boy toy out.

I snatch my phone from his hands and race down the hall making it seem as if I'm ducking to the bathroom. That's when I slip into Alice's room. I brace myself for what I'm about to see. As I turn I realise the coast is clear. Alice sits awake wearing a man's t-shirt. She's flicking through something on her phone. Beside her the guy sleeps. He's covered in muscles and not much else. The sheet covers his junk, sparing me from nightmares.

"You need to get him out. Your brother is out there asking for you," I say slowly.

Alice grins at me then looks back at the blonde guy next to her. She's done well. I'll give her that! She snuck him in last night before her brother finished work at the hospital, however she obviously hadn't thought about getting him out. Her brother has a protective issue. It could be because Alice is the youngest out of her siblings, but it could also be because Edward needs assistance from a higher power.

"I don't want him to leave. When he wakes up I want to go again..."

"Ew!" I cut her off.

"Please. Just get Edward out of the apartment for a few hours. Take him to breakfast?" Alice pleads.

I look at Alice as if she's grown a head. Is she actually insane? She wants me to take her brother out so she can bang a guy that she just met. For some reason I agree.

"One thing. I'm curious…" I make a gesture with my fingers then point at the man next to her.

She just nods smiling.

"Larger!" She giggles, "It was amazing Bells! He did this incredible tongue thing! I just want one more round..."

I laugh reaching for her wallet on the floor. I pull out her credit card. If I'm going to breakfast to distract her brother, she best believing that she's footing the bill. There's no way I'm spending my cash.

"At least put your number in his phone... then text yourself. I'm ordering waffles and pancakes," I say heading to the door.

"Already done. Bring me back something yummy!" She laughs.

She beings to lean down kissing the guys neck. He stirs moaning. I dash out appalled she's willing to start with me still in the room. I walk back out to the kitchen after actually freshening up. He sits at the breakfast bar, coffee in hand, flicking through a magazine about cars. I smile at him.

"Edward, you and I are going on a date. Right now!" I say.

He raises an eyebrow holding his coffee cup at chest height as if my words cut through his ability to take his next sip.

Well it's rough around the edges but I'm having fun! I hope you will stick around?

Please leave me a review and let me know what you think or any suggestions..

Chapter Two will be up shortly!