Sequel to The Risk I Chose to Take. Enjoy!
Always a friend, never a girlfriend. That's what my life had come to. After the whole thing with my friend stealing Drew away from me, I was beginning to feel like I'd never be enough. I'd do nothing but stay online for hours, watching what they'd write to each other.
When I saw they were both online, I knew they were talking to each other. I could only imagine all the things he was bullshitting to her. I wanted to scream and throw my computer out the window.
I was still friends with her, Jess, but I couldn't understand why. Even though she apologized to me a thosand times, I just couldn't completely forgive her. Then again, if I didn't stay friends with her, I don't think anyone would. Aside from me, the only other friend she had was Clare, who was just as mad with her as I was. She was only staying friends with her because she begged her to go to the mall with her and Drew when they first met.
No one else talked to her for a long time. Then she would come and complain to me and Clare about it. We just told her that she brought it upon herself.
Even though I settled things with Drew, he kept ignoring me. Everytime I passed him in the halls, he just looked the other way. I sit right behind him, everyday, first period, and he doesn't bother to say hi. He's the one who wanted to stay friends in the first place. It came to a point where I just didn't care anymore. I just couldn't. There was no point in worrying about him.
It was Thanksgiving weekend, and Drew was going to the movies with Jess. She invited me to go with them, but I wasn't too sure about it. The only reason I went was because Clare was being dragged there.
It was way too awkward. I stuck with Clare the whole time. As soon as Drew walked through the doors of the theatre he was all over her. He hugged her, held her hand, wrapped his arm around her. It was making me sick. I couldn't help but think that that should've been me.
We didn't stay too long. The movie was boring so we left pretty quickly. Drew saw a few of his friends once we got out of the theatre. Then he came over and introduces Jess to them. Again, part of me wanted that to be me. I always pictured that being me.
I couldn't understand what was so wrong with me. Why couldn't he just like me for me? Did I not meet his high standards that Jess had? What did she have that I didn't? I was slowly going into a small depression. If Clare hadn't been there I think I would've ran to the bathroom and locked myself in a stall until I had no more tears left in me.
We ditched Drew and his friends and went back to Clare's house. We sat in her room and talked about the night. Clare pointed out how uncomfortable Jess looked around Drew. All she could do was agree. She even said it was the same thing when they went to the mall. I wasn't too surprised. After all, they only met off the internet.
Then she mentioned she was thinking of breaking uo with him, but she wanted our opinion. I told her that if she wasn't happy then she shouldn't be with him. It was the next best thing to saying, "Yes, finally! You don't know how long I've been waiting for this!"
She logged onto the computer and started chatting him. After a while she managed to mention that it wasn't working out. He seemed upset. I left before I could find out annything else. Jess chatted me once I got home.
It's over, she wrote.
She told me everything that she said to me. They were done for good. I knew it never would've lasted long. You can't fall in love with someone you've only known for a week.
The next morning Drew chatted me.
Ali, I'm so sorry. I'm even more sorry because now I know how you felt when I did what I did to you. I feel horrible and I'm just really sorry.
All I could was comfort him and tell him that it was his own fault for being so clingy. For the 500th time I had to menntion that they'd only known each other for a week! I told him I'd be there for him if he ever needed anything, though. I figured he really had no one else to talk to besides me. He thanked me, told me I was the best because after everything he did I still wanted to help.
Now if I was so great, why couldn't he see that and realize that I was so good for him! It made no sense. I just shook it off and realized it would never be.
School was the same as always. He ignored me, I ignored him. However, the next day was different. He would poke me from behind, take things out of my bag and joke around. It was the most he'd ever bothered with me in weeks. The day after would be a day I'd never forget.
It was lunch and he'd been playing football outside, even though it was raining. I was inside with Clare and Eli. Eli had become a really good friend to me, especially when I had to give him advice on how to ask Clare out, even though he STILL hasn't.
But anyway, Drew came in through the cafeteria doors, dripping wet, with a bunch of his friends following him. He stood next to me and started playing around with his football. After whacking me in the face with it, the bell rang to get back to class. Clare was too bust flirting with Eli to notice. I left them to have their moment and started walking.
Drew walked next to me. After a few seconds of silence, I felt something. I looked down and it was his hand in mine.
"What are you doing," I asked, dumbfounded.
"I really don't know," he replied. That was reassuring. He let go of my hand and we kept walking in silence.
"How was the game," I asked, trying to break the awkward silence.
"Pretty good," he said. More silence. Then he spoke up.
"Ok, I gotta admit, I think I sorta like you." My breath stopped for a minute while I thought about what he'd just said. Didn't we go through this already? How could I possibly trust him?
"Do you actually mean it this time," I asked him.
"Yeah, I do," he said.
"I'm not saying I don't like you," which was true, "I just don't wanna go through this again."
"Yeah, I know. I'm not saying we don't have to go out right now. I just wanted you to know."
I just nodded my head and smiled.
"Whatever happens, you're still amazing," he said. I blushed and he held my hand the rest of the way up. I really didn't know if he was being honest, but by then I just wanted to live in the moment. He hugged me goodbye and I left for my next class.
NEXT CHAPTER COMING SOON!