"SHE"
This is a story about a girl who cried until she drowned her world.
How many people could stand to deal with her life every day? A life of toil which she takes on not knowing any other, when she always looks so sad you can't help but wonder why she smiles. When she thinks no one is watching she stands there waiting, looking for someone to come take her away. To a place were she dreamed of feeling safe, were happiness is a constant frame of mind. Through the years she has learned that this place is only achieved after this life. There are no short cuts or easy roads. Only if you are deemed worthy are you allowed to enter this place. She has been told that once she has accepted this she will be granted understanding and yet she lives in confusion. They say that she is wrong and out of place for asking questions and not accepting what is said. She has come to the understanding that everyone is dealt a hand of life. God does not make mistakes; it's people that do. They say that we get through life through our friends and family. She does not believe this; if she did she is doomed. She wonders what do you do when those who you thought were your friends abandon you when you need them the most? What if your family has used you and abused you? What then? Your whole life has been a charade that melts before your eyes and you can see the twisted truth. The truth that she has sensed was there but just out of reach like a dream that you can't quite remember but it is vital that you do. She knows. She has seen it. She has felt it. A black void, a suffocating place. You are writhing in pain that drives you to your knees. She's in constant agony as her life replays itself mockingly. Blasting her with relentless winds of memories until she is numb, void of feeling. She gasps for a breath, which fills her mouth with a bitter taste. She flounders for something that will keep her afloat in this storm. Her thoughts, like the wind, pound her relentlessly. Everything she thought was truth and right is horrible, horrible wrong. Those she loved and thought loved her were just using her. Openly lying, with a masked smile, to her face. She so stupidly was accepting it as truth because she wanted to believe for them so badly. She turned a blind eye to it until she couldn't anymore. Now she must face this so alone and yet not alone. She curls up tightly burying her face into her knees, trying to block out the images that swirl around her. Others heave been here before she see the marks they have left in this place. She knows some have made it through but many have given up, stayed down folded their cards, their remains are scattered around her as a testimony. Not she, she may be down but she's not going to give in, not yet. That is what they want that is what they are hoping for. She tightens her grip, biting her lip until it bleeds against the onslaught that is tearing at her killing a little piece at a time. She is helpless to stop it. She has always been accused of being rebellious and stubborn, now it is helping her survive. She will not go, not without a fight. Through the worst of the storm of pain and confusion comes a calm like an eye of a hurricane. A soothing small voice speaks to her, calming her, the voice caresses her softly like a gentle refreshing rain, telling her over and over again: "you're alright", "I have you, everything will be ok", "you're fine now". She forces herself to concentrate only on that voice. She relaxes totally drained she finds the strength to search for the source of the voice around the swirling images. She realizes the images cannot hurt her anymore or there is nothing left for them to hurt. The thought makes her smile without humor at the images around her. Her reaction seems to infuriate them and they double their effort. She laughs weakly at them. The voice, the source of her calm stops speaking. Frightened she looks about "who are you"? She whispers. "Look" she hears the voice say. She looks to the direction she thought the voice came from. She sees water were there wasn't any before, crawling she hesitates to peer into the it afraid of what she might see. "Look" the voice says again.
She looks, startled she sees a woman that looks vaguely like her, smiling at her, the reflection reaches out to her. Instinctively she reaches back under the water they clasp hands. Something inside her stirs were she thought she was dead life spills forth, she stands this new life flowing through her veins filling her to over flowing. She looks back but they reflection is gone now she sees herself, she is different, she is scarred and calloused but alive and strong. The voice speaks to her telling her everything happens for a reason. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. You can only rely on yourself to get through life. People will always disappoint you but it is hard to disappoint yourself. Slowly through time she will shed what remains of her old life, taking only the harsh lessons that she has learned. Time heals even the deepest of wounds. The voice tell her that she has made it through the darkest time but it is still the wee hours of the morning, dawn is coming soon.
You are strength and I am constant. Now she will stand through the rest of the storm. She knows she will be alright.