Woods…trees…I am in a forest. Woodlands…a creek nearby. I hear it - do I see it? Do I see anything anymore? Perhaps not. That's okay. I sigh…and I shall sigh again. I enjoy declaring sighs or actions as I am about to do them, I feel as if I am a character, a one dimensional being, scripted to one set of devices, one set of motion, one fate, no deviations from the path, I like to call it enlightenment.

I check my pockets, I do not have pockets but I check just as well…If possible I would keep an inventory of all things on my person, it is a wonderful tradition amongst traditional crazy people, I am not crazy, simply misguided. No one person is truly crazy in my opinion. Subjective.

I see a creek now, and I limp to it to wash my dirty face. I scrub my face but the dirt remains, I try again, perhaps the water is dirty, or it has sinned and Agni incarnate, whoever that is or whoever Agni chose as an Avatar of him or herself, I like to think of Agni as a woman, it seems women much of the power in my experiences. Oh well I say to myself, I do not let my dirty face bother me, it is livable, I am not concerned, I should not be concerned with that, instead I must acquire bearings, I had been running quite a long time, I do not think I am in the Fire Nation anymore, all the better I say to myself.

I do a quick stance, check my firebending, I am decent at it, weaker, much weaker than before, I am a little concerned but again not by much, I am confident I will regain my losses, I will walk again, it is just a small wound, a fracture I believe. All will heal in due time. Then I will die, heal even more, live and become hurt, endangered, die again, bliss, live, pain, die…

I hear a rustling in the leaves beside me, I pause, not at all concerned with what lurks in this forest, it is nearing night, yet I am still fine, I am happy almost, something akin to contentment, I wonder what caused me such joy, did my brother die in a horrible, or perhaps pleasurable, fire bending accident? Did the Fire Nation overthrow his pathetic, black koala-sheep quality, hide? I frown, not because I dislike Zuko - maybe that is the wrong word, such trivial things words are - action is superior. Action suppresses, mystifies, overthrows, and kills words, that is my language or so people tell me…the last time I people have talked to me…six months ago? A year ago? Two weeks ago? I check my pockets and find a small piece of parchment, neatly folded in fours, no fraying around the edges, pristine, like my mind. I unfold the parchment, and I nod…yes, I have lacked human communication - that is to say no one has talked to me, I have not seen nor heard anyone, and I have not spoken to any person in thirty three consecutive days - my coronation day.

No one spoke to me but does not mean I heard nothing, the bars talked to me, they told me to leave. I thought I would pay a visit to my family, no family - I have no family - love was a strategy that I incorporated full-well onto Zuko and my mother, and I won in the end. My mother was banished, saw the real me, but all is well because she is most likely dead. Zuko…

A limping figure walks before me, startled at my countenance, a calm spirit in the middle of the forest, meditating while traveling. This person was old, gray in the face, a man perhaps. I am unsure. This person could be a woman with a very mannish face. No matter, for the sake of purposes I know not, I shall call this person a man and refer to him as a man - like I had just done.

He was slight, small, indeed old, wearing next to nothing. He seemed to be a guru of sorts but I sincerely doubt such people exist anymore. Gurus were associated with the Air Nomads, the Air Nomads are extinct therefore Gurus are extinct - it's a simple cycle. They are not truly extinct, they live in the spirit world, like everyone else, the true harmonizing factor - it'll be nice to escape the suffering and pray that I'll never be born again. Perhaps Agni would listen if I prayed to her very hard during the next solstice, provided that I would pray for anything. I have enough sense to know that praying accomplishes nothing but a false sense of security. It's just as some person very deep in the Fire Nation ancestry once said, nothing can truly be derived from the teachings.

I look around me…woods…marvelous - moving on, the man says something, I do not care. I barely listen. I hear Omashu, cabbages or was it pears, and so on…useless babble, I should kill this man. The idea sounds wonderful but that would give my moronic brother all the more reason to find

Darkness

White…a slow, fade into vision. I blink. My vision is fuzzy still. I look around, forest, figures - I tell myself. Against a tree I see a corpse, bloodied, its face a seared pulp, a hole in its chest, burnt flesh fills my nostrils, it intoxicates me. I ponder why as I move on. I honestly am not to blame for the thing's death, it was dead when I arrived.

Actually I am a little shocked at the grisly scene as I take one last fleeting glance in the distance, I suspected that this murder was intentional but I wonder who in the right, or wrong, mind would have the malice to kill so coldly. I find myself hard-pressed to think of any individual, I even analyze myself, my own intentions, the girl at age fourteen who conquered the most powerful Earth Kingdom city without taking a life. I am proud of that accomplishment, no senseless death, although I am beginning to wonder if death is senseless or a salvation.

It is night now, I remember day the last time I truly thought. I believe that was before my failed coronation. Then how, you may ask I am relating this information to you? Let us not go there yet, there is no sense in talking or writing about excessive details. Gratuitous details - there is no need for detail, gray area, life is simple, people love or hate you, how good of a person you are depends on your love/hate ratio. If the major percentage of the world hates you more than it loves you, then you are loved. If the majority of the world loves you more than hates you, I foresee much suffering for your ignorant self in the future. What a fool you are…

Speaking of fools, perhaps I should visit my friend Ty Lee, a spirit of someone, perhaps my grandfather, or Sozin, a previous Avatar, the identity is irrelevant because the spirit was nothing more than a messenger. They relayed a message from the Great One, do not ask trivial questions like who is the Great One, a passion for learning makes you nothing but a moron. Feigned ignorance is always much more appropriate - if your master is a fraud, idiot, or a misguided jerk, you can differentiate and destroy the monstrosity.

Ty Lee plays this card well, perhaps that is why I must find her, to realign myself with the art of deception. I must gather my bearings. My bearings have been gathered. According to the moss on this tree here, burnt, invisible only to the keenest eyes in the midnight sky, I declare I am in the southern Earth Kingdom, near the village E Chung, near Gaoling, close to Kyoshi Island…land of ditzy acrobatic traitors. No not traitor, traitor constitutes I had placed trust within her, for me to have been betrayed means I would have trusted Ty Lee, since this is impossible because trust is for fools and animals - subclasses of humanity - I am pardoned from such accusations of trusting others. There is no trust, there is no love. It is as simple as that. You may argue all you wish, whoever you are, but I have seen the light. Let me ask you, I say let me ask you, where does your precious love and trust go when you are dead?

One of our more brilliant Fire Nation scientists stated that matter and energy are never increased or decreased, just transferred. This is a true statement, and if this is true then where does your trust go when you die?

Unless you were to raise from the dead, love is not kept inside your decomposing storage tank, it is transferred into what? Nothingness? Perhaps, I am unsure. I would be happy to tell you when I have died.

How did I end up here. I cannot remember for the life of me. I remember prison or what I believed was prison, there were bars. I know this because they spoke to me often; they were nice, helpful, comforting, I had not much else. It's strange, I say, I almost miss the bars, the company I kept…Ouch, my leg pains me. I need crutches.

A voice. They muttered something intelligible, I think they said hello, I am not sure nor do I care. Human contact is like a plague, no, humanity is a plague, am I a plague, if I am human then I am a plague as well, in which I would do as plagues do, cause widespread sickness, I live off of other people's pain and I suck it up, absorb it if you will, until the person dies and I move on…Am I a friendly plague granting people early bird specials in regards to death?

I look to the sky, the cold, gray sky, colder than this forest. It is nearing morning I think, the sky is not black anymore, it is lightening. No birds. No sky. Nothing but clouds. Ah, ignorant bliss.

I listen for animals, nothing, good. I walk…am I walking? Yes. I am walking. Okay. Good. I am walking…no, I walk - to where? Kyoshi Island? I believe I heard that is where Ty Lee is residing currently, I wonder where M…yes, no, I don't know, SHE! TRAITOR!!

I scream.

Pain encompasses my vision, my hearing, I am blinded, deaf, mute, I feel nothing but pain. I am ecstatic. Am I suicidal…no, no, what is wrong with you? I am not suicidal. I feel pain, I love it because I feel. No matter how you deal with it, or him, or her, does pain have a gender? Why not? Either way - Pain just is.

I hear a voice again, female, distinctly female, young, like my voice to a certain extent, although I always did sound older, more mature as Zhao would say - this voice was more innocent, carefree, scared…or at least concerned. The voice said, hello, is anyone there?

A brushing of the leaves near me causes me to scream again. Human contact!

The girl sees me, and she is frightened, I can tell, she nearly screams as well. Good. She should be scared, if not of me with my sickly skin, oily hair, tattered red prison shirt, breeches, and slippers, my degrading limp - how I wish I had crutches! - my thin frame, she should be scared if not of me than something in general. It keeps people balanced, knowing something higher, more dangerous, deadly, and intimidating will cause them great pain if the person does not stay aligned to whatever it is the intimidating figures wants.

This girl…blue eyes, brown hair, short brown hair, lean, highly toned in muscle, ah perhaps it was my once favorite prisoner - such irony! Alas it is not her. This one has a long ponytail…no, there are two girls here. One in the distance, another in front of me. Lovely.

This girl's hair is shorter, brown, she is wearing a green set of Earth clothes, a peasant I assume, her skin is darker than many Earth kingdom people. She smiles and says, are you okay?

What kind of stupid question is that, I wonder to myself, of course I am not okay. I'm not okay, you're not okay, everyone is not okay! Except perhaps my father, no, he is weak now that he has lost his will to manipulate fire.

This girl looks behind her, sees the other coming towards us, looks at me again, smiles, My name is Jin. That's my friend Song behind us. We are traveling together. What is your name?

What good is a name if we are all going to die, I state. She blinks, What do you mean, she asks.

I repeat, What is the point in a name when our entire identity is to live to die? If we will die in the end, there is no sense in identification, confirmation, definition, no no. It is moot. If people live the life of pained asceticism then people will try their best to hurt and kill themselves to achieve a better life before they are reborn. This is the philosophy of the spirits above.

This girl Jin, why I call her by name is beyond me, looks to her friend and they both shrug their shoulders. Jin looks at me, Whatever you say…um, do you want some help? You have a hurt leg…

Please, the other girl says, I am a nurse. You have a fractured leg. I can help you set it in place and heal it. We our on our way to the town of Gaoling, and there is a great hospital ward there that we can take you to - it's not far from here at all.

I despise their innocence, I wish I could snuff it out. They are completely ignorant that life is suffering and it is suffering in cycles. But, seeing as how they wish to heal my leg, something that will be nice so that when I do die my body will be intact and not a decrepit mess. They also mention something about an Earth Rumble tournament, that sounds interesting to me. Perhaps someone will die there.

We walk, I limp, they walk, Song hands me a walking stick with a smile. I accept it with something akin to a sneer or hatred. She does not notice. She feels good, perhaps she sees gratitude in my expression when in fact I am far from gratitude.

Jin looks at me with a curious stare, and perhaps, yes, no, maybe not, I think I see longing, but I am not sure. It is completely trivial, mindless, moot, love is mindless, infatuation is mindless, sex is mindless - there is no love left in this world and I would not have it any other way. Perhaps humans can attain the highest sense of happiness, and we will stop or stall reproduction.

I see, in the near future that reproduction will be limited to one child, dead or alive, per person and family. In this way population will never become a problem. Perhaps the governments can even encourage homosexuality instead of heterosexuality as the dominant class of citizenship. Yes, that would solve the issue of reproduction and keep humans alive long enough to realize that we are meant to die off and become extinct at some point in the near future. Perhaps I should start practicing my homosexuality for I know I am heterosexual. I look at Jin, perhaps she is straight, or something in between, or what, I could care less. I need to manipulate again, I miss it. It was one of the great earthly pleasures I had in my life.

I look at Jin with an intrigued glance, perhaps she will read this as me checking her out for she is a very attractive young woman. Perhaps she is a year or so older than I, maybe my brother's age. That reference is a bit troublesome though, for I have nearly forgotten what my brother, uncle, mother, and even my father look like. It is of no concern. They were, and are, never, and not, my family in the first place.

That was confusing, I apologize - what I mean to say is that there is no love lost, there is no love that is to say in general, between them and I. Why am I going to see Ty Lee again? Is she a friend…no that's right. Her innocence must die. She must die. She will thank me for it later.

Along with…SHE! TRAITOR!! She must die as well. Not as a gift but because she must rot in the Not-Life.

Jin asks me where I am going. I say nowhere in particular, I am looking for someone but I do not know where to find them.

Jin nods, okay, um…what happened to you?

I give her a look, what did happen to me I ponder, I do not remember. I remember those nice bars talking to me, giving me advice, darkness, and then my gate was open. I remember walking out, strangely enough all of the guards were murdered, some burnt, some impaled, some necks snapped, I was very nonchalant despite the overwhelming wave of death - perhaps because I know I had nothing to do with the grisly scene.

Jin looks a little confused, um…hello? Do you know what happened?

Then I remember walking, or limping I should say, through this forest, with that mission given from the spirits to find Ty Lee. Maybe the spirits caused the outbreak…I blink at Jin, I am being rude, at least I think I am, either way I falsely apologize with a pseudo-pleasantry and respond with: I do not know. I cannot remember right now.

I am surprised, mildly, but still surprised for I had told the truth just now without any motivation, thought process and such…mindless…fascinating.

Song remains passive as we walk closer and closer to the edge of the forest and this worries me. I can tell we are nearing the edge by the geometric angle of the sun in accordance with the threes, their scarcity, the sun's brightness, smoke in the distance, and the fact that I see town directly in front of me as well.

The city is…I have never been to this city before, I cannot accurately describe this city for my vision is fading from colors to blurred grays, not to worry though; my vision does this every now and then. The sky was gray with an onset of heavy rain to come in the next few days, and below the sky on the ground I see grayish green and grayish brown one story buildings, several, marked by several streets and several bazaars and markets. In the distance I see ornately decorated barriers, walls to the grounds of a mansion, the city is known for its nobility after all.

Song pipes up, we should head to the Bei Fong Estate, that is where most of the doctors are right now. I say nothing, my eyes upon her, and my suspicions rising…

How come? Jin responds.

Mr. Bei Fong is actually paying the top Earth Kingdom doctors and nurses to figure out a way to cure his daughter's blindness. He's even gone so far as to build a small hospital near the main home.

He has a daughter?

It is news to me too. Meaningless news but news nonetheless.

However I am very uneasy at the moment. I distinctly remember a blind earth bender, quite powerful but a horrible lie detector, with the last name of Bei Fong, my suspicions of Song grow even more…what could she be planning I ask myself. I see resentment in her eyes, it is subtle, but present. I am sure both of these girls know I am Fire Nation, but the resentment seems to have gone further with Song than it has with Jin…I must correct myself, Jin has no qualms with my national identity and I would venture to say it intrigues her. I cannot help but feel she has a small connection to me in some way I will never know unless I ask.

I nod to Song and Jin, preparing myself for a fight in case that blasted personification of a badger-mole senses my presence. The last thing I need is a fight and/or trauma, I tell myself. I tell myself a lot of things, and the majority of these have been as of late…almost as if I must consistently remind myself of things in case I truly forget. HA! What a farce. Of course I can never forget something, that is how the mind works…I must work on establishing a connection in my mind where I remember everything consciously and nothing slips by, but unfortunately that would constitute I can never shut up. I want to stop talking…

Can I stop talking? Let me try…silence…silence…silence…shoot! Blast it! Of all the…NO! WHY?? I tried, but why? Why can I not stop? I am ready to rip my hair out of my skull, or to sear my skin…I can still firebend effectively as to where I could…let us not think of that yet. That would be a splendid trick if Song gets uppity. Please do not worry. I am calm. If you are calm then I am calm, and if I am calm then you are calm. I am calm.

Perhaps I should…tell I mention I am calm? Yes? Don't look at me like that…that is not nice. Did your mother not teach you manners? Who are you? Do I know you? It is not like this matters, if you wish to watch my life pass like a voyeur please feel free to do so, I am not stopping you. In fact I encourage it. Maybe someone will believe I am sane, or misunderstand, or insane and misunderstood, anything so long as I can be quantified or identified. After all is this not what all people want? Some form of identity…no, there is a word I am looking for, a word that specifically describes my state of being at this moment.

What is the point of that anyway, I daresay. I do not mean to sound like one of those pathetic, pessimist losers who hold everything negatively because they know they will die, even though they have another forty plus years to live granted they do not commit suicide prior. I can be a positive person sometimes, or if I am not positive I can seem and appear to be positive - that is just as good.

Song points to the large walls in front of us. The white walls imposed upon me personally. I wanted to shout insults back at them, haughty jerks, but I keep my mouth shut. Song says we are almost there.

Jin asks if I am hungry. I shake my head. I do not want to impose. I find it hilarious that even in my slightly more deranged state, my more aware state, I still hold some mannerisms of my past life. I am still attached to this world when in fact no one is attached nor detached - what am I saying? I do not know. I am confused. I apologize for that my reader. To think the once great, still great, more delusional but still great, Princess Azula confused herself. It is laughable. AH-HAHAHAHA!!

Jin and Song give me weird looks. I realize now I have laughed spontaneously and for no discernable reason. I apologize to them quickly with something akin to embarrassment.

Quickly to my left I see two men holding hands and I shudder. I shudder not because two men are holding hands and looking at each quite happily, no, I fear that time has come. This time I am referring to is when our world and sense of order will come to an end and the four nations, excuse me three, will turn inward. Inwards to prevent overpopulation, to prevent unwanted growth - encouragement of homosexuality and frowning upon heterosexuality. A time where phases of life will begin where each phase depends on levels of crackdown upon basic freedoms and very silly and nutty things will explode into popularity such as religion and cannibalism.

I cannot wait but wish this time will never come. I want it to occur because I am sure my brother and the Avatar, may he rest in peace hopefully soon, will go crazy trying to set things straight. I do not wish for this time to come because I simply will become the inferior amongst a land of preachy, happy-go-lucky, human eating monsters. That would not be a fun place to be.

Perhaps it is worth it though. In that world I can exploit through false-homosexuality, destroy people's lives no matter what gender because hetero or homo is both generally acceptable although hetero is more second-class, and this gives me a much larger pool of incompetent koala-sheep I can bend to my will.

Although at the same time…This is a very nice home for an Earth Kingdom home. This family has taste. Song and Jin have led me through the courtyard and into the home of the Bei Fong estate. I am still breathing and staring down Lao Bei Fong and his puppet-like wife Poppy right now and I am still breathing - perhaps the earth bending girl, Toph I believe her name was or is, preferably was, is not here.

This is splendid news. This means I will probably survive this encounter and be able to live a more full life of manipulation, that is until some force of nature such as the Avatar or my moronic brother step in and ruin my fun - destroy my purpose in this poor excuse for a world. My mind is gray, I wonder if the sky is still gray, it would make sense. Even though I have been chatting endlessly I believe only an hour of time has passed. How fascinating the copious amounts of proverbial manure the mind can spit out, disgustedly and with a horrible aftertaste, in the span of minutes and hours. Seconds even.

I like to think my mind can spit out extra stinky stuff, who knows, maybe I am lying to myself - seeing things I do not see, killing things I did not kill…

Lao Bei Fong mutter some incoherent nonsense about filthy Fire Nation people in his home, I wonder if he would like this filthy Fire Nation person to burn his house…how did I hear what he said? No matter, no matter.

The point is that this man is talking and that must be fixed. The best thing humans can ever give to this world is silence, including me. But seeing as how that will never happen because my tortured, senseless babble will never cease, you will not have any certainty about Azula the person, Azula the mind, the narrative, did I mean narrative? Am I writing this for enjoyment? Entertainment? Perhaps so, perhaps not. If someone detaches themselves of earthly things then they will never be sad, but they will never be happy either. People want happiness. How can you be happy if you shut yourself away in some tight box where your false sense of security whispers lies to you that you are indestructible, indefatigable, no one can hurt you and so on? I am looking right at you ascetic people and religious people.

I mentally point my finger: you people get your acts together and understand that life is suffering and the best way to enjoy it is to make the best use of life and end it quickly while you are on that high. At least you will be smiling as your identity disappears.

Lao points to his left and mutters something I care not to repeat simply because I am in a very bored mood today and I do not wish to repeat unnecessary rhetoric. In other words, I'm not telling because I say so…

Fine, so pushy…he says that to our right, down the hall and across from the rock garden is the newly constructed hospital ward where I can find treatment for my annoying leg, Song can find work, and Jin can go jump off a cliff for all I care.

I look at her slightly wrinkled, Jin that is, not Song, Song is probably a cheap courtesan, a floozy, yes, floozy, I like that word, it is an amusing one: perhaps Katara that badger-mole faced waterbending tart is a floozy. It would make sense and sounds incredibly reasonable.

Be careful Azula, my father would say to me, be careful around little brown girls - they are floozies and tricksters. They can never be trusted. This is provided that my father is stupid enough to believe that anything can be trusted. I never really listened to that particular line of advice because I believed that all brown girls, light girls, girls, boys, men, codgers, everyone, simply do not matter and they have no actual need for existence. Some people want to exist although I could never imagine why they would want to, I mean…never mind. I don't think you would understand, if you do then pat yourself on the back because I am not going to mention what you understand…I have other matters to deal with like how and why, well, not why, every single person, patient, doctor, and nurse gives me a startled look as I walk into the hospital room.

Please let me know if you hate being trapped with words. I am taking a poll you see, and I will soon be conducting a research project on how useful and/or unnecessary words are in life. Also, if were trapped in that line of logic I presented to you, good, you're an idiot and I wanted to thank you for giving me the small boost in ego. Your embarrassment by my hands is much appreciated.