"John," said the well-remembered voice. " I owe you a million apologies. I had no idea you would be so affected."
(In which Sherlock apologizes to John literally a million times.)
…
Notes:
Originally, canonically, Sherlock only promises a thousand apologizes. But I thought that wouldn't be crazy enough for Sherlock, so I decided to up the ante. Hope you enjoy!
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"John," said the well-remembered voice. " I owe you a million apologies. I had no idea you would be so affected."
John doesn't want to hear this right now – can't hear this right now. His friend just came back from the dead by popping up as a French waiter with a fake mustache just as John was about to propose to Mary. John says nothing. He just bites his lip and walks away.
…
John starts finding little notes around his apartment the next day.
In the cupboards, under the toilet seat, in the medicine cabinet – everywhere. It seems John can't open a door or drawer without coming across one of these little notes.
They all say the same thing:
I'm sorry.
There are 39,537.
39,537.
Sherlock is going to have to do a lot better than that.
…
John's blog is hacked.
Every single word of every single post is replaced with Sorry.
The total wordcount for his blog is 332,472.
Sherlock is getting there.
…
Sherlock's blog, The Science of Deduction is also "hacked".
Every word is, of course, is changed to I'm Sorry.
There are 389,838 words on Sherlock's blog.
…
John starts getting texts and emails that say the same thing.
I'm sorry.
His inbox is bursting. He gets 98,172 messages before they abruptly stop coming in.
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Random people on the street start saying sorry to him.
Every person he passes says Sorry.
Every. Single. Person.
At the clinic, every patient says Sorry.
On the street, every cab driver, passerby, and homeless person says Sorry.
John counts 49,288 apologizes.
Half of London has apologized to him.
John still isn't satisfied.
…
The evening news broadcast that evening is hacked. The screen that normally houses a semi-handsome, brown-haired, charismatic anchor has been replaced by the words I'm sorry played on a continuous loop.
The broadcast plays for seven-hours. John watches, dumbstruck the entire time. He counts an average of two apologies per-second. After some quick math, John calculates 50400 total.
…
John's office at the clinic if covered in post-it-notes and prescription pads with the words (you guessed it) I'm sorry on them.
There are 40,000 total.
John stares at the wall of apologizes with a bemused, (albeit, slightly annoyed), expression on his face.
…
At 999,998 words, Sherlock appears on John's doorstep.
Sherlock looks absolutely frantic. "John, I'm –"
Sherlock is silenced by the fact that John's lips are on his.
John leans into the kiss, savoring his friend he thought was dead.
Finally, the kiss breaks, and John pulls back.
Sherlock has the most wonderfully confused expression on his face. "I'm sorry," he mumbles.
John smiles. "I know."