Disclaimer; I DO not own dear QAF, no matter how much I wish it.

...

My life's been in darkness since he left.

Without his sunshine smile, I'm lost in this forever sea of permanent darkness.

People say a lot about me, about how I go through men more than I do underwear.

How I'm a player.

How I can't do love.

How I never have the same trick twice.

There was a time that I agreed with these statements, but now the truth is that the day I saw him, MY Sunshine; my ray of light,

He completely changed my rules and what I was about no matter how blind I was to see it back then, but he showed me the way.

Led me from the dark and into the light and showed me what it was like to love and be loved in return.

But me being the unemotional prick I was did the only thing that I knew how to do; I pushed him away, again and again and again.

But he was a persistent little shit and always came back to me, no matter what.

Whether it was the bashing.

Some prick father who couldn't see how amazing Justin was, is.

Some pathetic fiddler, Ian I think his name was blinded MY Sunshine with his hollow, meaningless words.

Cancer! He came back to me after I chucked him out.

I've lost count about how many times I pushed him away and yet he came back stronger than before.

I've always l—lo...liked that about him; he was a fighter and fought what he believes in and showed nothing could bring him down.

I still remember our first time, which was his first time so clearly.

He was a babbling bunch of nerves when he first entered my life but he has come a long way since then.

Proved to everyone how strong and dependant he can be.

I once told him that I wanted him to be the best homo there was, but you see he already was I just couldn't tell him until it faced me that I would never be able to see him again.

God how I miss him.

I wanted to be selfish and let him stay, but yet again i pushed him, pushed him too far.

Fucking New York! How far could you get. I should be glad he's still in the same country.

Looking around the loft, I can still see his crap everywhere; is backpack, art shit, fuck awful clothes and converse scattered about the loft.

It seems so empty and bare.

My eyes land on the drawing of me I purchased from the GLC centre, Justin always smiled when he saw it.

The Sunshine smile, the one that can light up a room, the one I need to light up my life.

I never took the rings, well ring back. I couldn't even if I wanted to the little shit nicked his. But I don't care; it shows that he still thinks about me, us, like how I think of him every minute of every day.

...

There's Brian's POV i didn't know what to write for it so sorry if it's a tad rubbish.