Disclaimer: Much to my despair I do not own Inuyasha or any of the other characters. I think I need a moment alone to come to grasp with my pain of this........ Ok I should be able to survive.
Author's Note: Hey this is my second fan fic! Hope you all enjoy. First of all I would like to say I am not putting anyone down or any social group down at all in this. I don't mean to offend anyone at all I swear. Well I beg you all please read and review! It means the world to me. I really hope you enjoy it. It may be a little slow in the beginning but I promise by next chapter it will pick up. But like I said PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!
Looking Back To Be My Future
Chapter 1:Ending It Bitter Sweet
If I leave here tomorrow Would you still remember me? For I must be travelling on, now,
'cause there's too many places I've got to see.
But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Inuyasha listened to Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd while making a crucial decision in his life. He wanted to leave his girlfriend Kikyo. Yes at one time he loved her but now it was all so different. And besides he was leaving soon. He was moving. The handsome boy had long silver hair and wore a tight red shirt with black pants. Those were his two favorite colors so his pants were usually black and same goes for the shirts black or red but always tight. He just sat there after all they had been through and he felt more guilty about leaving her than anything. He knew he didn't love her anymore though. Oh god this was hard. He was a stubborn male. He knew he didn't love her but he didn't want to admit it to himself. A part of him still clung onto an eternal love for her. Well his first love of course she will remain in his heart but not as his true love. No she was out there somewhere but she wasn't Kikyo.
'If I leave her then it's for the better, I'll be moving soon anyway. And well let's face it it's pretty much been over for a while now. It's as if she wants me to change back to the way I was or something. I used to be well preppy. Not that that's horrible or nothing but it's no longer me. I traded in my rap cds for rock. Now there are Led Zeppelin posters and well I'm not saying any of my past was wrong to like. It's just it wasn't me. That's all. I never really fit in when I was myself. So I did what it took to be liked I guess. It drove me insane. I hated it all. It wasn't until I heard the song Dazed And Confused by Led Zeppelin that I knew what I liked, rock music! That was it! I related to that song so well. And well Kikyo was still like she used to be. And she insisted I change back. I can't do that. I'm finally showing my true colors. Even though I had once loved her I guess it's over. How can that be? I thought...... I thought we would be together forever.'
With that Inuyasha gazed out at the stars. He remembered everything they ever did. But he had to put that behind him that was his past. And he had no idea what his future would hold. So with that he picked up the phone and let his fingers slide across those oh so familiar digits.
ring......ring.......ring
"Hello" said that recognizable voice of Kikyo
"Hey" Inuyasha said as cool and calm as possible.
"Oh hey what's up?" She asked unknowing of any woes about to occur.
"Can we meet somewhere? We have to t-talk" Inuyasha managed to say.
"Sure where?"
"How about the park"
"Yea no problem when?"
"Is now ok?"
"Well sure but I need a couple pf minutes to get there."
"I know that" Inuyasha chuckled.
"Ok meet ya there in a few I guess huh?"
"Ya see ya soon" He said dreading it.
"Love you"
"You to" He said half heartily.
"bye"
Kikyo could tell something was up he usually said "I love you too." Not "you to."
But as much as she wanted to call him up and say she couldn't go now because she had a clue as to what was going on after piecing things together she knew one way or another if it was done then it was done.
It was a cool summer night. Just like when they meet at the park. That why he asked to meet there. Where it started it can finish. Inuyasha walked slowly never wanting anything more than to not reach the park. But well he had to.
'What to say to her? Kikyo I'm sorry but it's over? I don't know I feel like I owe her an extremely good reason. I don't want to hurt her. But if I stay with her and don't love her then that will hurt her even more. She's not dumb she'll figure things out. But then again she could be such a bitch at times. But that doesn't mean she's stupid. AH!'
Inuyasha had confused himself with his own thoughts as per usual. And so he tried to go back to what to say.
'Ok lets see. I'll blame it all on me. The oldest trick in the book yes but in this case I think it's true. Ever since I acted like me myself not someone else she and I have become distant. I constantly hear "You're not the man I feel in love with!" God no she was right I'm not. And I like it that way. If she doesn't love the real me then well what's the use? Besides I'm moving. Long distance and all these problems will ensure an even harder break up'
With that Inuyasha was cut off. He was at the park now. Now all he had to do was wait for Kikyo. Unfortunately for him she was right on time. And came within seconds of him.
"Hey" Inuyasha said in a scruffy voice.
"Hey so what's up?"
Inuyasha went over and sat on a swing. Kikyo did the same. She took the one next to him. As the swayed back and forth Kikyo decided to break the silence.
"So?"
"Do you remember when we first meet?" Inuyasha asked
"Yes"
Inuyasha then continued with his flash back.
"We were younger and well I remember having a crush on you. We were only in about 3rd grade. I thought I would never stand a chance so I did all it took to be cool. When I finally caught your attention it was years later. In 9th. We may have meet here but I also asked you out here. You said yes and I was so happy. I remember it all so well. You wore your hair up that day and had on a pretty red dress that went down past your knees. And your eyes sparkled. Your back hair shimmered in the sun. And I remember thinking of you as an angle haunting my dreams. Well it's 11th grade now. Or soon to be this coming school year and all I've been through with you was incredible. But I was never myself. I was always what you wanted me to be. I spent most of my life living this act for you. Then when I thought it was safe to show you who I really am you turned it down. You keep saying I'm not who I once was. But the truth is when I was pretending to be someone else. That when I wasn't who I once was. If I'm not proving to be what you want then maybe I should leave. I'll be moving soon and I think you deserve someone who will always be there for you. Believe me I don't want this. I never wanted to lose you but I feel I disappointed you by being myself, and well I can't pretend any longer either. Either way it hurts me so I think I should just be myself at least then even though it hurts I'll be true. I want the best for you and I'm not it. I will always love you but you must find a better man."
Kikyo simply nodded. She had already suffered the lose of him when he changed. So this was more like closure for her.
With that they hugged and kissed one last time in the place where they shared so many memories. Kikyo's eyes became tearing and pain was deep in Inuyasha's. With that last words was said
"I will e-mail you often. I don't want to lose touch with you. You'll always have a special place in my heart. And I know you will find someone better." Inuyasha chocked out.
With that they went their separate ways.
'Wow it's done. Kikyo could be a huge bitch, yes. But I did love her. Meant every word that I said. I hope I find my true love though. God I just want a girl who knows what a GTO is. Or Barracuda or a Camaro or Mustang. Early years of course. A girl who likes to rock out to my kind of music. One who cranks up the volume when Stairway to Heaven comes on. And gets emotional by listening to a good guitar solo. One who idolizes Jimmy Page or Jimi Hendrix. One who understands a good song. One who doesn't turn off Master of Puppets by Metallica so she can listen to some mushy love song. A girl who's not afraid to eat and not afraid to speak her mind. She should have to know a Fender Strat from a Gibson Les Paul (guitars just in case thought id let ya know). I don't think I'll ever find a girl like that. hmmm oh well. You can't always chose who you love I guess.'
With that Inuyasha made his seemingly long walk home. As he walked through the door he heard his mother call out to him.
"Inuyasha honey is that you?"
"Yes Mom"
"Well where have you been?" She asked entering the living room. The same room as him.
"I went to meet Kikyo. We broke up."
"Well honey I'm sorry to hear that but you know it's about time."
Inuyasha knew his Mom never really liked Kikyo.
"Mom why must you bring this up now after the break up?"
"Honey I'm sorry. You know I only look out for you. But she was a bit to snobby. Wouldn't you say? You bent over backwards for her to just glance at you for a split second when you were younger. And well since she became older she became a huge bitch. I know you loved her honey. I'm sorry to hear it's over but lately I know you've known the end was near. I'm sorry we have to move. And I know that pressured your decision more. But I do believe it's for the best. I know there's a girl out there for you. And well who knows when we move maybe you'll find her. But once again I am sorry dear. If you need anything let me know. Ok?"
Inuyasha loved his Mother very much. He knew she was right. He knew she meant no harm over saying those things about Kikyo. But she was right and he knew it. She made him feel better.
"I should be ok Mom. But I just hate the idea of leaving. I hate the fact that the job has to be there. I know it's not your fault. I understand perfectly. But I'm leaving everything that I have ever known. And now that I'm me. No mask or nothing. Well I never said I wanted to fit in or anything, I just don't want to be alone again."
"I know but now that your you, when you find a friend or a love you will know its real."
Inuyasha nodded. It all made sense. But fear still encompassed him. He was strong and would not let it show that things hurt him even though they did. He had his pride. And that trait may in some ways be desirable and in others make things more difficult.
A little while had passed that night as Inuyasha sat there and thought.
"Inuyasha dinner" His Mom then said.
"Coming" he said half out of it.
He slowly made his way to the kitchen table. Boxes were all over. Packed with dishes and what not. Yup they were defiantly leaving his home. Where he had grown. He took a heavy sigh and sat down.
"Hey Sesshoumaru." Inuyasha said to his brother.
"Hey runt" he eyed Inuyasha "what's wrong with you?"
"Kikyo and him broke up Sesshoumaru be nice tonight" his mother said.
"Oh man I'm sorry to hear that." Sesshoumaru said with all of the actual human compassion he could mustered.
The night went on drab. And boring. The days passed and it was now time to actually move.
Author's Note: Well please review. Tell me what you think please. I really want to know how I'm doing. Well thanks! Read and Review please.
MetallicPink
Author's Note: Hey this is my second fan fic! Hope you all enjoy. First of all I would like to say I am not putting anyone down or any social group down at all in this. I don't mean to offend anyone at all I swear. Well I beg you all please read and review! It means the world to me. I really hope you enjoy it. It may be a little slow in the beginning but I promise by next chapter it will pick up. But like I said PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!
Looking Back To Be My Future
Chapter 1:Ending It Bitter Sweet
If I leave here tomorrow Would you still remember me? For I must be travelling on, now,
'cause there's too many places I've got to see.
But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Inuyasha listened to Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd while making a crucial decision in his life. He wanted to leave his girlfriend Kikyo. Yes at one time he loved her but now it was all so different. And besides he was leaving soon. He was moving. The handsome boy had long silver hair and wore a tight red shirt with black pants. Those were his two favorite colors so his pants were usually black and same goes for the shirts black or red but always tight. He just sat there after all they had been through and he felt more guilty about leaving her than anything. He knew he didn't love her anymore though. Oh god this was hard. He was a stubborn male. He knew he didn't love her but he didn't want to admit it to himself. A part of him still clung onto an eternal love for her. Well his first love of course she will remain in his heart but not as his true love. No she was out there somewhere but she wasn't Kikyo.
'If I leave her then it's for the better, I'll be moving soon anyway. And well let's face it it's pretty much been over for a while now. It's as if she wants me to change back to the way I was or something. I used to be well preppy. Not that that's horrible or nothing but it's no longer me. I traded in my rap cds for rock. Now there are Led Zeppelin posters and well I'm not saying any of my past was wrong to like. It's just it wasn't me. That's all. I never really fit in when I was myself. So I did what it took to be liked I guess. It drove me insane. I hated it all. It wasn't until I heard the song Dazed And Confused by Led Zeppelin that I knew what I liked, rock music! That was it! I related to that song so well. And well Kikyo was still like she used to be. And she insisted I change back. I can't do that. I'm finally showing my true colors. Even though I had once loved her I guess it's over. How can that be? I thought...... I thought we would be together forever.'
With that Inuyasha gazed out at the stars. He remembered everything they ever did. But he had to put that behind him that was his past. And he had no idea what his future would hold. So with that he picked up the phone and let his fingers slide across those oh so familiar digits.
ring......ring.......ring
"Hello" said that recognizable voice of Kikyo
"Hey" Inuyasha said as cool and calm as possible.
"Oh hey what's up?" She asked unknowing of any woes about to occur.
"Can we meet somewhere? We have to t-talk" Inuyasha managed to say.
"Sure where?"
"How about the park"
"Yea no problem when?"
"Is now ok?"
"Well sure but I need a couple pf minutes to get there."
"I know that" Inuyasha chuckled.
"Ok meet ya there in a few I guess huh?"
"Ya see ya soon" He said dreading it.
"Love you"
"You to" He said half heartily.
"bye"
Kikyo could tell something was up he usually said "I love you too." Not "you to."
But as much as she wanted to call him up and say she couldn't go now because she had a clue as to what was going on after piecing things together she knew one way or another if it was done then it was done.
It was a cool summer night. Just like when they meet at the park. That why he asked to meet there. Where it started it can finish. Inuyasha walked slowly never wanting anything more than to not reach the park. But well he had to.
'What to say to her? Kikyo I'm sorry but it's over? I don't know I feel like I owe her an extremely good reason. I don't want to hurt her. But if I stay with her and don't love her then that will hurt her even more. She's not dumb she'll figure things out. But then again she could be such a bitch at times. But that doesn't mean she's stupid. AH!'
Inuyasha had confused himself with his own thoughts as per usual. And so he tried to go back to what to say.
'Ok lets see. I'll blame it all on me. The oldest trick in the book yes but in this case I think it's true. Ever since I acted like me myself not someone else she and I have become distant. I constantly hear "You're not the man I feel in love with!" God no she was right I'm not. And I like it that way. If she doesn't love the real me then well what's the use? Besides I'm moving. Long distance and all these problems will ensure an even harder break up'
With that Inuyasha was cut off. He was at the park now. Now all he had to do was wait for Kikyo. Unfortunately for him she was right on time. And came within seconds of him.
"Hey" Inuyasha said in a scruffy voice.
"Hey so what's up?"
Inuyasha went over and sat on a swing. Kikyo did the same. She took the one next to him. As the swayed back and forth Kikyo decided to break the silence.
"So?"
"Do you remember when we first meet?" Inuyasha asked
"Yes"
Inuyasha then continued with his flash back.
"We were younger and well I remember having a crush on you. We were only in about 3rd grade. I thought I would never stand a chance so I did all it took to be cool. When I finally caught your attention it was years later. In 9th. We may have meet here but I also asked you out here. You said yes and I was so happy. I remember it all so well. You wore your hair up that day and had on a pretty red dress that went down past your knees. And your eyes sparkled. Your back hair shimmered in the sun. And I remember thinking of you as an angle haunting my dreams. Well it's 11th grade now. Or soon to be this coming school year and all I've been through with you was incredible. But I was never myself. I was always what you wanted me to be. I spent most of my life living this act for you. Then when I thought it was safe to show you who I really am you turned it down. You keep saying I'm not who I once was. But the truth is when I was pretending to be someone else. That when I wasn't who I once was. If I'm not proving to be what you want then maybe I should leave. I'll be moving soon and I think you deserve someone who will always be there for you. Believe me I don't want this. I never wanted to lose you but I feel I disappointed you by being myself, and well I can't pretend any longer either. Either way it hurts me so I think I should just be myself at least then even though it hurts I'll be true. I want the best for you and I'm not it. I will always love you but you must find a better man."
Kikyo simply nodded. She had already suffered the lose of him when he changed. So this was more like closure for her.
With that they hugged and kissed one last time in the place where they shared so many memories. Kikyo's eyes became tearing and pain was deep in Inuyasha's. With that last words was said
"I will e-mail you often. I don't want to lose touch with you. You'll always have a special place in my heart. And I know you will find someone better." Inuyasha chocked out.
With that they went their separate ways.
'Wow it's done. Kikyo could be a huge bitch, yes. But I did love her. Meant every word that I said. I hope I find my true love though. God I just want a girl who knows what a GTO is. Or Barracuda or a Camaro or Mustang. Early years of course. A girl who likes to rock out to my kind of music. One who cranks up the volume when Stairway to Heaven comes on. And gets emotional by listening to a good guitar solo. One who idolizes Jimmy Page or Jimi Hendrix. One who understands a good song. One who doesn't turn off Master of Puppets by Metallica so she can listen to some mushy love song. A girl who's not afraid to eat and not afraid to speak her mind. She should have to know a Fender Strat from a Gibson Les Paul (guitars just in case thought id let ya know). I don't think I'll ever find a girl like that. hmmm oh well. You can't always chose who you love I guess.'
With that Inuyasha made his seemingly long walk home. As he walked through the door he heard his mother call out to him.
"Inuyasha honey is that you?"
"Yes Mom"
"Well where have you been?" She asked entering the living room. The same room as him.
"I went to meet Kikyo. We broke up."
"Well honey I'm sorry to hear that but you know it's about time."
Inuyasha knew his Mom never really liked Kikyo.
"Mom why must you bring this up now after the break up?"
"Honey I'm sorry. You know I only look out for you. But she was a bit to snobby. Wouldn't you say? You bent over backwards for her to just glance at you for a split second when you were younger. And well since she became older she became a huge bitch. I know you loved her honey. I'm sorry to hear it's over but lately I know you've known the end was near. I'm sorry we have to move. And I know that pressured your decision more. But I do believe it's for the best. I know there's a girl out there for you. And well who knows when we move maybe you'll find her. But once again I am sorry dear. If you need anything let me know. Ok?"
Inuyasha loved his Mother very much. He knew she was right. He knew she meant no harm over saying those things about Kikyo. But she was right and he knew it. She made him feel better.
"I should be ok Mom. But I just hate the idea of leaving. I hate the fact that the job has to be there. I know it's not your fault. I understand perfectly. But I'm leaving everything that I have ever known. And now that I'm me. No mask or nothing. Well I never said I wanted to fit in or anything, I just don't want to be alone again."
"I know but now that your you, when you find a friend or a love you will know its real."
Inuyasha nodded. It all made sense. But fear still encompassed him. He was strong and would not let it show that things hurt him even though they did. He had his pride. And that trait may in some ways be desirable and in others make things more difficult.
A little while had passed that night as Inuyasha sat there and thought.
"Inuyasha dinner" His Mom then said.
"Coming" he said half out of it.
He slowly made his way to the kitchen table. Boxes were all over. Packed with dishes and what not. Yup they were defiantly leaving his home. Where he had grown. He took a heavy sigh and sat down.
"Hey Sesshoumaru." Inuyasha said to his brother.
"Hey runt" he eyed Inuyasha "what's wrong with you?"
"Kikyo and him broke up Sesshoumaru be nice tonight" his mother said.
"Oh man I'm sorry to hear that." Sesshoumaru said with all of the actual human compassion he could mustered.
The night went on drab. And boring. The days passed and it was now time to actually move.
Author's Note: Well please review. Tell me what you think please. I really want to know how I'm doing. Well thanks! Read and Review please.
MetallicPink