Blind Date
Disclaimer! Yaaay! Okay, Jhonen owns Nny, a'course… Sigh… That's really not fair. Anyway, I know I should be working on the other fics, but this just sorta popped into my head last night, so I had to write it. I had to. Lemme alone. Oh, and I put somethin' in Originals Fantasy called Celestial Dark. Go read it. Now. It will make you happy. Or… very ill. Love you guys! Buh-bye!
Part I: Those Skettios Cans Are Mighty Clever
"Skettios, skettios, where the fook are the skettios…?!" Nny asked no one in particular as he rummaged around in his kitchen, throwing out the contents of the cabinets and whatnot in his search for the little pasta-rings in a can that he loved so much.
"C'mon, skettios, where are you?!" He opened the cabinet door closest to the rundown fridge. "Aha!" Lo and behold, a can of spaghettios was sitting there, just waiting to be eaten.
Nny grabbed them happily, pulled a small knife (well, smaller than what he usually used) from his trench coat pocket, and commenced to open the can. He dropped the knife in the sink and the can top in the trash before shoving the actual can into a grungy-looking microwave and turning the dial to one.
He pulled them out just as the microwave went *DING!*, shoved a spoon into the saucy pasta, and began eating, reading the label as he did so.
Suddenly, the spoon slipped from Johnny's hand as something on the can caught his eye. He read over it again.
Blah, blah, blah, contest, blahblah, blaaah, blabbity, win an official Skettios brand spaghettios can-opener, blah-die, blah-die, blah! Blaaaaahblah, BLAH! Blah?! BLAAAAH!!! Send your name, address, phone number, and why YOU like Skettios brand spaghettios! Blaaaah!
Johnny wasted no time reading the rest of the ad; he grabbed a pen, a paper, and an envelope and set to work on trying to put into words what made skettios so wonderfully marvelous to him.
Two hours and almost a whole notebook later, Nny had completed his masterpiece. He quickly added his name, address, and phone number, sealed it in the envelope (which he'd already addressed) and ran out to put it in the mailbox.
He smiled brightly as he put the flag up, then went back inside to finish his lunch, never bothering to read the fine print (actually, it wasn't that fine; he just didn't read much of it period) of the label-advertised contest…
A blind date contest, hosted by Skettios, where you can win an official Skettios brand spaghettios can-opener, has just been created! Yaaaaaay, JOIN! Yes?! YEEEEES!!! Send your name, address, phone number, and why YOU like Skettios brand spaghettios! Yaaaaay! The two winners will receive the magical Skettios brand spaghettios can-opener, along with a special blind date with each other! Isn't that nifty?! SEND YOUR ENTRIES! NOOOOOW!!!