Someday
"You lied to me," he said.
And the hurt in his eyes was more than she could bear.
"You put me through so much unnecessary pain."
She studied the ground at her feet. Willing herself to become invisible. Disappear and not have to face his devastation. His devastation at her betrayal.
"I thought I had lost you. Forever."
And now, he was slipping away. Farther and farther away. From her.
"You didn't trust me. You didn't trust me with your life. With your protection."
She felt like the smallest being on the planet. Ashamed she hadn't had more faith in him. She hadn't tried hard enough. To bring him in on the plan. Insisted he be brought out of the dark. Out of the dark and into the light. She gave up too easily.
"I cried for you. The loss I felt was so great. My heart...my heart shattered. Into a million pieces. Pieces that can never be fully recovered."
She cried for him now. For herself. For both of them. Tears cascaded down her cheeks. Unchecked, miserable tears. Loss and regret invaded her heart. Her breaking heart. The heart that ached so much in her chest. The heart shattering at this moment. Because of his pain. A heart that would never be good as new.
"And it hurts still. Even with you standing before me. Beautiful. Breathing. Alive. It hurts. Because I loved you."
She met his brown eyes. And more pieces of her heart cracked and fell away. He loved her. He had loved her. As she loved him. Her sobs pierced the night air. She turned from him and broke down. Apologies rushing forth. Apologies that didn't erase the ugly truth. His words were the words of truth.
"But I can't hate you. Never. I can forgive you. But I'll never forget. Time may dull the pain. But the memory remains. I shouldn't love you so much still. But I do."
And he pulled her into his arms. Holding her tight. As she sobbed in his arms and made declarations of her own. Declarations of truth. And love. His tears mixed with hers as they shared a kiss. Desperate. Loving. Passionate. But was it goodbye? She leaned into his touch. He cupped her face and gazed into her glistening blue eyes. Then he leaned in and kissed her. Softly. Tenderly. On the forehead. Brushed her hair back from her face to tuck it behind her ear. Closed his eyes. Then turned to go.
"Someday, Sheridan. Someday. When you trust me. Trust my love enough to tell me the truth. Be completely honest. I need time. To learn to live. Learn to live with the fact that you lied to me. You lied to me."
And he left. Disappeared into the night air. Like he had never existed. But her heart wouldn't forget him. Her heart wouldn't give up. 'Someday,' he'd said. Someday their hearts would reconnect. Be complete again. Beat anew. But until then...She had to have hope. And faith. Trust. In someday. She wiped her tears away. And disappeared into the night air.
So...this fic is older than dirt.
LOL!
You can probably guess when I wrote it. It was one of my very first fics (along with The Journey and another equally terrible little-80+chapters little, hehe-fic called In the Hearts of Harmony that I've, thankfully, lost some of the chapters to or I'd post here), and I decided to post as much of my stuff here as possible to remind myself: good, bad, and ugly-I have improved. Of course, the only way left to go was up.
;)
It was just my way of venting out my frustrations with the fact that Sheridan totally left Luis hanging with the plan to snare the drug cartel; man, did I hate Hank when I thought he'd really killed my favorite character on Passions, lol. I've since grown to love Hank, as you can tell if you've read any of my later fics, since he usually figures into just about every storyline I come up with.
Don't hold this fic against me.
Just something else to read.
Click over to chapter 2 to read the equally bad sequel.