Oh no, another Fem/Cousland fic! But, wait…this isn't how it's supposed to go! Slight twist. Also: may be persuaded to continue, but I probably won't. It's for myself though, and maybe (MAYBE) if you review I might go on….Don't own Dragon age.
~Kairi~
Kairi Cousland. That's me, obviously. I have red, straight, boring hair that goes down to my shoulders in a wispy-like fashion. A lot of people say my hair looks almost pink. I always want to gauge their eyes out and say 'WHAT COLOR DOES IT LOOK NOW?' and laugh like a maniac. I never can though, too bad. I do, however, kindly remind them that having pink hair naturally is impossible. Kindly. Did I say that already? I have blue eyes that sparkle, or so many would-be husbands have said. I'm seen in brown leather boots that go up to my knees, thick warm grey stockings or leggings, whatever you want to call them. I wear a short (way, way too short for my mother's liking) blue skirt with ruffles and a fitting (way, way too fitting for my father's liking) white blouse that goes to my elbows under a black bodice.
Why, might you ask, am I explaining my clothing choices to you? Because one, I am a female and you know how we are with clothes and two, proper clothing is very important to the daughter of a Teyrn. Note the word "Proper", if you will. Proper clothing. And just because it's a big deal in my house, I'll say it again.
"What do you think Fhang, is this proper enough?" I asked my dog, twirling around once and pulling out my skirt. He cocked his huge, brown head at me and whined. Dropping to my knees, I took his head in between my hands. "Proper. Understand? A.K.A, do I look like a slut?"
Fhang, being the stupidest smart dog ever, wagged his tail and barked in my face. I stood, inhaling fresh air. I never realized how I took that for granted.
"Pe-yew! What did you have for breakfast?" I gave Fhang a look. "Please tell me that bark didn't mean 'yes you look like a slut'." He barked happily and I scrunched up my face. "Oh, go raid the larder or something you useless mutt." Well, I didn't really mean he was useless. He barked at me again, spraying slobber all over my carpet, and rushed out the door. I watched him go, worried. I hope he doesn't actually raid the larder…
Well, back to my clothes. I swirled around and looked in my mirror. Really, this outfit was good for me! I mean, it was way, way more girly than what I would have worn this morning if it wasn't for the helpful reminder from a maid passing through. I wasn't the girly-girl type really. Although I admit, I like pig tails and the color pink, think babies are cute and don't say no to a little romance. Besides that, you call me a girly-girl I'll smash your face in with my boot. Trust me; you'll have an imprint of my sole on your face.
And really, I stretched my comfort zone to please my mom and dad. I mean, my skirt had ruffles! Not to mention I was wearing a bodice. I hate those things. I would have worn a long sleeved shirt and leather pants, but today I decided to at least make an effort that isn't blatantly hateful. Hmm…I rolled my shoulders and eyed myself in the mirror. I wasn't too bad looking in girly clothes though.
I was seventeen. So, naturally, I had breasts. Yeah, I said it "breasts!" Otherwise known as tits, breasticals, knobs, balloons, boobs, melons, milk jugs, wazoos….I should probably stop now, you get the point. And no, just in case you're wondering, I am not anatomy shy like a lot of…people in general. I admit, in my usual long sleeved my curves show quite a bit. But in this, well…let's just say dad won't try to make me wear anything girly ever again. You see, things can go horribly wrong when you ask the great Kairi to do something she doesn't want to. Horribly, horribly wrong. You'd think my parents would know that by now.
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair before exciting my room. I didn't really have anything to do today, on account of the war coming up. My classes had been canceled, not like I went to most of them anyway. Let's see, on a normal day I had history, religious studies, sewing, flute lessons (I WAS GOOD!) and some other girly things I can't remember because I never went to them. I spent the days in the kitchen cooking, watching brother spare with the guards, getting into trouble and basically running around. It was fun, really. Yeah I know, I'm seventeen and I should be more responsible. But you know what? Screw responsibility, especially when it comes to sewing…
I skipped happily down the corridors, heading to the kitchen to waste away my day again. I should probably practice flute more, even though I stopped going to class I loved playing it. My flute was silver, tucked away in my bedroom in a soft velvet sack. My thoughts wandered, and I thought about Fergus and the war coming up. Father hadn't told me much about it, although through pestering I found out that the darkspawn were a threat again. I hadn't seen my brother too much, he was always training or in the war room with father, organizing things and such.
Oh, how I wanted to be a warrior. How I wanted to go with them, swinging a sword and killing things. Again, not very female-like, and anyway…I wasn't a warrior. I had only held a sword once, and that was when I had snuck into the armory and picked one up. But once I did, I felt elated and disappointed at the same time. Elated because I was holding such a powerful weapon, and disappointed because I knew Mother was right. I would never be a warrior. How I watched Fergus spare, sweeping with his sword and blocking with the shield. It looked so powerful, so smooth. And yet, I felt doomed as I watched. Doomed to always be 'your honor' or 'my lady'. Doomed to be on the sidelines, watching and never fighting.
I was trapped. Still, I made the best of it. Fhang and I made trouble, and that was my way of getting back. We were often seen sneaking around, and not in a good way either. Now, whenever something goes missing in the castle, people say the object has "gone Kairi", and I'm not so sure that's a compliment. Fhang and I hang out on the castle walls, or on top of one of the towers, or even sitting in a crack on the stone walls. Whenever people find us, they used to be surprised, especially because Fhang didn't have thumbs and can't climb walls…now; it's very common to find us up there. Fhang and I find a different spot every time to hang in, and I play my flute until the sun goes down.
It was a beautiful sight. Fhang and I, sitting on the highest point in Highever, watching the sun paint pink and purple across the sky and my song dancing across the land. I think I was getting popular too. Many people liked to hear me play, and a lot of them would know where I was hiding, but wouldn't turn me into my father. Instead, they would casually hang out around the area during sundown and listen to my music. Actually that's how father has been finding me lately. Walk into the guard's dining room during sundown, and find the crowd that wasn't there. Then, find me.
Well, I can't complain too much. I scolded myself as I walked down the hall, following the smell of bread. I shouldn't complain at all! I knew what I had here in the castle, something I would never have had if it wasn't for Gregor… I blinked, remembering the old days.
Once upon a time, I was an orphan. Don't freak out just yet, I really am a Cousland. And Dad was my real dad, Mom was my real mom and Fergus was my brother. But when I was about three years old, I was kidnapped.
And killed.
Or so they thought.
I had been saved. By what you might ask? The taint.
I wasn't sure exactly what it was, but I felt it sometimes. I wasn't surprised when Dad told me the Darkspawn were acting up again, because I already knew. Although, because of the whole kidnapped delio, I lived until I was thirteen on the streets. And let me tell you, I was the best pick-pocketer ever. I had fared well on the streets, besides being a softie who couldn't hurt a fly.
It was because of the kidnapping that Mom and Dad now kept me under lock and key…or at least they tried. They had tried it literally of course, but there was no lock I couldn't get past. It was because I spent ten years as an orphan, living on the streets and stealing for a living, that Dad wouldn't let me near a sword. He said, he had lost his daughter once, and he would never even entertain the thought again. I still thought of Gregor though. I swore I would never forget him, and I haven't. I still remember, looking up blearily in a pile of my own blood. My frail body twisted and mangled and in pain. His beard was the first thing I saw. I remember thinking an animal was coming up to eat me, and then Gregor set his hand on my forehead. My pain flooded away, and I felt relief. I fell to sleep after that.
I don't know what that man did, or even who he was beside his first name. I knew what he looked like, a huge beard and breathe that smelled of ale. I knew that somehow, he had infected me with the taint, and that had allowed me to live. I was grateful, and always will be.
My thoughts wandered again as I almost naturally and unconsciously dodged out of the way of maids. My light steps seemed…happy to me, as odd as that sounds. A smile was working on my face, I could tell. Even though I lived with the taint, even though I wasn't allowed to fight or even hold a weapon, I was happy. Things were good here. I had Fergus, Mom, Dad, Oren and Oriana. I had Nan, Fhang, and things to do. I had my family again, I had my music and my food (as much as I could eat!) and trust me I eat a lot.
Things were good. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered how long that would last.