Warnings: a surprisingly abrasive Francis and willing Matthew. Includes USUK, but mainly FrUk family craziness. Human names used.
Author's Note: I feel like I definitely made France proud with this~ (I'm hoping that's warning enough to everyone about to read this, haha). Kind of crack-ish. Feedback and criticism is always loved!
Disclaimer: Hidekaz Himaruya-sensei owns Hetalia and all it's characters; I do not.
"Congratulations, Mattie!" a loud, boisterous voice cheerfully hollered, waving frantically at his younger sibling — much to the Englishman's dismay at his side.
"Oh, belt up, you babbling twit." he snapped, humiliated and angry for a moment, but it faded when he was flashes that trademark grin.
"It's okay, Arthur," came the quite reply from the American's twin. "I appreciate his enthusiasm."
Sticking his tongue out at his former guardian in a "I told you so" fashion, the dirty-blond flushed as he tried ignoring his need to give him a good lecture. In favor, he turned to his other former charge, one of those truly rare smiles of his fighting the scowl away. Although it did not go unnoticed by a certain Alfred, Arthur focused long enough to say a few words to the boy himself.
However, much to his sheer terror, he was interrupted when a pair of familiarly French hands rapaciously took hold of him.
Specifically, his ass.
Alfred, rather than fuming with rage at the molestation of his lover's anatomy, literally fell to his knees as the series of laughter that struck him took over. Matthew, although flushing nearly as bright as the Englishman, couldn't help but crack a few giggles himself.
He also couldn't help but muse how right Francis had been when he'd said people these days ignored fine print.
Face flustered hot and absolutely annoyed with how both of his former wards were reacting to the treacherous grabbing of his body. The nerve!, he fumed, finally getting over his initial shock before greeting the grinning Frenchman the only way he knew how: a fist to the stomach.
"Oww, Arthur! You hurt me!" he whined incredulously, clutching his side as his Canadian rushed over to help him up. "I had immunity today!"
Still stuck in bitching-mode, Arthur threatened the blond as he reached to grab him; "How dare you say that! On your wedding day! Have you truly no decency, you bloody frog?"
Held back easily enough by a pair of familiarly American arms, the Briton even tossed a glare his way.
"And you! How is me getting violated any reason to peel over in laughter?"
Merely laughing in response, Alfred slapped his lover's arm playfully — which still ended up hurting him — before giving his own piece of mind.
"Dude, Francis just groped you on his wedding day. How is that not funny?" his grin he gave at the end fell into a hurt frown when Arthur indeed smacked him upside the head.
Glaring for a bit longer, the Englishman finally calmed down properly enough to allow him to forget what had just occurred.
"If you excuse me, I'll go drown my sorrows at the bar now." he frowned when the Frenchman made to grab at him again.
Thankfully, Alfred bothered to beat the French hand away before chasing after his beloved Arthur in a scamper. Before they both disappeared, though, they unanimously shouted: "Congrats!"
Smiling gently at the retreating figures of his former father-figure and brother, Matthew squeaked and turned to the blond beside him when a stealthy hand grasped at his own ass. Face flushing hot at the sudden flank — the Frenchman's other hand resting calmly against the front of his lower half — the Canadian nearly fainted from the embarrassment.
However, Francis seemed none to pleased with that reaction; and thus, said something that the Canadian had never heard (seriously) in his life.
"If you let us leave now, Mathieu, I shall let you top tonight!" he cooed smoothly into the younger blond's ear, body pressing flush to his sensuously.
And, much to his own shock, the Canadian bothered to reply sincerely.
"…R-really? Do you mean it this time?" he whispered softly, voice dubious — but with good reason.
Grinning that grin that gave even his close friend Antonio the chills, Francis laughed his trademark "honhonhon~" as he eagerly agreed.
"Oui, mon cher. I shall let you have your way with me tonight, I promise." he further pressed, utterly pleased when the Canadian agreed and they both hurried off to their honeymoon suite early.
OMAKE
"There we go!" Matthew happily chirped, moaning softly as knowing French lips claimed his nape. "I knew it was this keycard!"
"Oui, oui." the elder blond hurriedly chimed, clearly eager to get it on with the Canadian like always. "Now, let's get inside, mon cher―"
Confused when the Canadian shook his head vigorously, desperately trying to step away, Francis stepped forward with a frown. Whatever it was that was scaring Matthew away from perfectly good, virgin-topping sex would be killed ―
"W-wait, Alfred, stop! They're here!" came a choked cry of utter mortification from an all to familiar Englishman.
Unsure of what to feel at first once the sight of Alfred and Arthur copulating thoroughly stuck in his mind, the Frenchman soon regained himself and reacted perfectly in-character as ever.
Dragging his Canadian spouse into the bedroom before locking the room, Francis leered at the three now-frightened blond's with a grin that would make even Berwald scared.
"Oh honhonhon~ time for a family reunion, non, mon chers?"
Turning to the Frenchman with a face that promised argument, Matthew found he couldn't really complain about the situation when he was still allowed to finally top at least Francis in the tumble of bodies.
He just hoped he would never have to be part of a foursome to be able to dominate someone again.