Disclaimer: I do not own Lord Loss or Lord Voldemort. They are the work of Darren Shan and J. respectively. Or any other characters used..
Lord Loss versus Lord Voldemort
Chapter One- Kiss the Chosen One
Lord Loss cracked his disfigured red knuckles, his dark eyes fixed sadistically on the snake-faced wizard before him. Lord Voldemort.
Lord Voldemort drew from his black bat-like robes the Elder wand, the most powerful wand ever made. Lord Loss sneered, blood oozing from the many cracks and pores on his skin. The snakes in his chest cavity writhed and danced around each other, glaring at the pale bald Dark Lord.
"You're going down." Lord Voldemort jeered, his slit-like nose flaring hatefully.
Lord Loss moved closer, hovering off the ground, as was his usual fashion of getting around.
"Not before you go down you worthless piece of-"
"Oi! Voldemort! Look at my big cock!"
The two Lords looked at none of than Harry Potter, his manhood swinging in the air. Lord Voldemort looked like Lord Loss, his eyes focused on Harry. Harry grinned broadly.
"Would you like me to try it out?" Harry wiggled his eyebrows cheekily. Lord Voldemort, without saying anything, grabbed Harry and kissed him aggressively.
Lord Loss coughed in embarrasment, and the two broke apart. Both were breathless.
"Get a room." Lord Loss spat, before floating away. Harry and Lord Voldemort looked at each other for a moment. They both grinned.