This is kinda Attack on Titan? I drew inspiration from that stuff and a couple of books I guess. I had to use a few words from SNK because there are literally no other words I can use. If there's stuff you don't really understand just ask and yeah. I have no idea when this will update honestly, because I'm coming up on my midterm exams so yah. I'm gonna shoot for a lot of chapters but who knows.
I don't own Hetalia.
I scrunch my nose in disgust. This part of the Underground smells terrible—this is where those too poor to live in the Center are. Yet, I make the journey everyday. To see him. At first it was just for the information. The secrets he carried in the leather-bound book, worn by time and the number of hands that have flipped through the thinning pages. But now...I don't know.
Several stare at me still, no matter how long I've been coming here. Maybe it's because of my official cadet jacket I received a couple days ago. Marked by this brown cloth, which is very hard to come by these days, especially since the growers' faction has been slow these past years, I am of higher status. I am rich. I have been through the correct training to protect the citizens of the Underground and scout the area of the Above.
I could kill anyone of them in a second, even if I am only 14.
I finally reach the spot I have been walking towards. The muddy, plastic tent in the corner of what we call the Sewers.
"Antonio?" I say in a hushed whisper. Silence, and then the sound of plastic wrinkling. He appears—the devil with the curly brown locks and green eyes that most would kill for, since there are only the rare few that have this special gene. His tan skin is muddy again, and I know that on any other day, I'd soon have to take him somewhere to get him cleaned up, if I were actually staying for that to be possible. He smiles the minute he sees me, and my heart thumps a bit faster.
"Hi Lovino!" He greets. I cannot help but smile. Antonio has almost always been happy, although I'm never sure why, since tragedy's seemed to hit him the hardest. "Today's the day, huh?" I nod, feeling my stomach twist in the familiar anxiety that has plagued me the past couple of days. Today is the day, and I will have to choose what to do with my training. Will I join the Service, who patrol the Underground? Will I be apart of the Royal Guard, who give arm and leg to protect the President and her family in her pristine castle? Or will I join the Scouts, who look for habitable life on the surface? My heart longs to explore the Above, to feel 'wind' on my skin or see the fabled sunlight. They taught us briefly about it in school, but not enough to sate my burning desire to know more. There are several problems with my passion. My family, for one. They are one of the higher regarded clans in this society, and they'd rather have me in the Royal Guard, so I'd have it 'in' with our leader. Another—probably the one that has weighed on my conscious the most, since I could care less about my parents—is the prospect of leaving Antonio behind. He does not have enough money to go through training. He is doomed to live his life in the Sewers, because that is where he was born. Being honest, I would be shunned if I was seen with him. But I can't help it. There is something about this teenager that makes it so I never want to leave him behind.
"Yep," is all I manage to say. Suddenly I remember the gift I brought for him. Hopefully it is not squashed. I gingerly take the red fruit out of my pocket and hold it up for him to see. His face lights up even further.
"For me?" I nod and he hesitantly takes it from my hand. "How did you get one of these? I thought that the growers were behind in production." I swallow hard.
"My family...we get the best no matter how low in stock it is." Talking about my social status makes me burn with shame. I hate being born where I was. I hate the society we live in. It's full of prejudice and hate all because you just weren't born to the right family. Why must it be this way?
"Oh," Antonio says carefully, seeing the pained my expression is. "Thank you, Lovi." I nod again. Normally, if it were anyone but him, I would berate him for calling me that and possibly snap one of his fingers off.
"So, what's the lesson today?" I ask. This has been going on since I started cadet training when I was 12. It started when I saw him being beaten up by the corrupt Service. Three of them ended up in the hospital, and one nearly died.
We've been friends ever since.
And then he showed me the book—the one passed down in his family, all the way from his first ancestor who made it down here after the fateful 'Great War'. It seems unsuspecting. But if we were found with that in our possession, we would be publicly executed with treason. The President wouldn't want people finding out about the Above. This is another reason why I'm a little uneasy about joining the Scouts. Nobody makes it back.
Although somehow, I don't think it's because of the radiation.
"I was thinking we'd do some history. Or do you want science?" He's already busying himself with getting the book out.
"What's...science?" The only thing we've ever talked about is what the outside was like before the War, and minor history before that, like the things that led up to the great conflict that forced us down into the ground, where we slaved to make a place for humanity until it was safe for us to go back up. I get the feeling, though, that with the rate things are going, we'll never make it.
"It's amazing. It explains how everything came to be, and why certain things do stuff. They didn't teach you in school?" No, they didn't. The only things they teach us are basic things. Math. The history of the Underground. Why poor people should be eradicated, because they do nothing for society. They hurt the system of hierarchy. I don't tell Antonio this. Not because it would scare him, but because it would further kindle the fire of rebellion in his body. He, like me, hates the system. On days where his happiness runs short, he rants about what he would do if he just had a little money. I don't mean to belittle his problems, but unlike his thinking, the rich have plenty of problems. I, for one, deal with a certain type of pressure that he just doesn't have in the Sewers.
Of course, I've always been told I'm especially selfish, so maybe I am belittling his problems.
"I think...maybe we should hold off on a lesson. I choose today and I-" I swallow, because suddenly the smell is making me dizzy and I feel like I'm not getting enough air. "I want to spend my last day with you. Let's just...talk. About anything. Everything," I finish quietly. He smiles softly and nods.
"Alright. What are you choosing?" Right to the point. He spreads out a sheet of relatively clean plastic and pats the spot next to him. I slowly sit down, hoping that the room will stop spinning soon.
"I...I don't know." That's a lie. I just can't bear to say it out loud.
"You're lying, Lovino," he murmurs. Antonio has always had this way of understanding me, even when the smartest of people can't. "It's alright. You can tell me."
"I want to join the Scouts," I blurt. An expression of hurt flashes on his face before it's covered up quickly. "But I..." The walls are closing in. I grasp his hand. I need an anchor to the real world. "I don't want to leave you, Antonio, because without you, the surface seems meaningless." There is a silence. Not because he is taking in information. He knows that I need to calm down before anything will get through to me. I can see clearly now, after sitting for a while. "I don't know what I feel for you. I haven't had the time to sort it out. But I know that whatever you are to me, I can't bear the thought of never seeing you again."
"I know," he whispers. "It's alright, Lovi. I know that whatever we are for each other, it was intended to happen. We were supposed to meet. The Fates designed us to feel for each other. And even if it hurts me for you to go, I just know we're destined to meet again." I sit there absorbing his words and appreciating the solace that they offer. I decide that we need to veer off this topic, because I don't want the last thing I remember of him to be sadness.
"How come you can say deep shit like that when just the other day you compared my face to a tomato?" He laughs and even I crack a smile in my panicked state.
"There's the Lovi I know." The rest of our time is spent laughing and joking, trying to get my impending departure off of our minds. My time is up, though, because I can hear the Center's bell chime. I look over at him, trying to imprint his face to my memory.
"I guess this is...g-goodbye," is all I can say before the salty tears spring up in my eyes. I feel his arms around me, comforting me. I am so selfish. Everything is about me. Why? Why did we have to be born in this universe?
"I want to give you something." I pull away and wipe at my face. I watch as he slides his necklace off.
"No, I can't take that." I know now that I must at least mean something to Antonio, because that is his prized possession. It is his cross necklace, with worn brown string. He is the only one—at least to my knowledge—that believes in this higher power. He spent many days explaining it to me, and I know that it is so important to him. I try to push it away, but he slips it around my neck.
"Something to remember me by." Suddenly I wish I had brought something that would last through time, unlike a stupid tomato. But maybe I did.
"I have a gift for you too." The words stumble out of my mouth. I take a deep breath and press my lips to his.
At first, Antonio stiffens, but quickly grabs at my shirt and pulls me closer. Why haven't I done this before? I want to freeze this moment in time. But this cannot last forever. He knows this, because soon he pulls away. I stare into those precious green eyes.
"Something to remember me by," I whisper. I stand. "I'll never forget you, Antonio Fernandez Carriedo."
"And you, Lovino Vargas." And with that, I walk away from the best thing that has ever happened to me, the warmth of his lips still lingering on mine.
The Square is filled with people, although the very middle is cleared for the graduates. My heart aches. I know that they will call each of our names, and I will have to choose the uniform of the division I want to be in. I'm already feeling claustrophobic, and the people around me aren't helping. All of these people, like me, are only 14. We're just kids, and yet we are forced to live this nightmare of responsibility. I think of my brother Feliciano, who is only a year younger than me. If he weren't considered 'mentally unstable' he'd be joining. Unfortunately, the President sees creativity as something that needs to be squashed. He'll spend these next two years doing a different kind of training—training to be a politician, because that's our family's position. I hate this place. It's all about status. They believe that certain traits run in your blood. That's why they don't take the poor people and force them to do these things; they want the soldiers to feel pampered so they'll never want to leave when they get the chance.
I glance up at the clock tower. We'll be standing here for another hour before we get to file into the square. I feel my mind drift off to a conversation Antonio and I had, from what seems like a lifetime ago.
"Antonio?"
"Yes?"
"If you had the chance to run away, would you?"
"Depends."
"On what?"
"On who would be with me."
"W-What if it was me?"
"I'd do it in a heartbeat."
My stomach clenches. What would I give to be in a world other than this? To be in a place where Antonio and I could live 'happily ever after' like in all those children stories? I'd give just about anything, really. Suddenly I can feel his lips on mine again and my heart feels like its been shot. Why me?
"Attention!" My arms are immediately at my sides. My posture is stick straight. "In a few minutes, you will choose what division you will honor the Underground in. Choose wisely. That is all." Had I really been spacing out for that long? It seemed that just a few seconds ago I was walking towards the Sewers...
Would life be easier if I had been born into the Greenhouse instead of the Center? I wouldn't be feeling this intense anxiety, that's for sure. My stomach was twisting and my mind was swirling with dark thoughts. I know what I will choose, though, so I'm not sure why I'm so anxious.
Yes, you do, my conscious tells me. I do know why. For one, I'll be disappointing my parents by not joining the Royal Guard—although I could care less, really. Then it's Feliciano. He may be annoying, but he's my brother, and I will miss him. My mind screeches to a stop when I reach the third reason. It's blatantly obvious. Antonio. My head is swimming. I can barely see. I can almost hear his voice telling me to calm down, and his hands rubbing small circles into my back. I calm down a little.
The clock tower is chiming, and we are moving forward in the formation we've practiced. I'm in the back, of course, so I will have to wait until the end of the ceremony. An introductory speech is given by President Bellamy, whose accent makes it hard to pay attention—she must know a language other than English. French, probably. All languages other than English are kept within your family. Once she finishes about the importance of our youth and the fact we are the best of the best because of our heritage, the crowd applauds. The whole population is here; the only ones not are the people who work to keep the electricity running and the poor. I'm thankful, though, that I was not born to the electricians. They spend years learning secret information, and they work until they die.
Of course, I must do the same, but at least my job doesn't confuse me.
Our class's leader is now on stage. I hate him. Captain Beilschmidt ran us into the ground. His little brother, Ludwig—who I hate just as much—is a year behind me. It's rumored that he can kill anyone in under a second. I doubt it, seeing as the guy acts like he wouldn't even step on a bug.
"Welcome, citizens of the Underground," he says in his German accent. "This is the 207 graduating group of cadets. It was a pleasure training them-" Bullshit. "-and I believe that they will be able to protect us valiantly and efficiently." He begins to read the names. I watch as the majority pick the Service—they are often given larger food portions. The only ones allowed to join the Royal Guard were the 'elders'. They had stayed for an extra year of training. Although I did not, I am the top of the class, and my options are wide. "...And finally, highest-ranking cadet, Lovino Vargas." I walk up and look at the hooded cloaks. The red is for the Royal Guard. Green for the Service. Black for the Scouts. I can hear my father's voice in my head, telling me to take the red one. My family is watching right now, in the roped off area for the politicians and rich. But then I hear Antonio, telling me to follow my passion. Before I know it, I am grasping the black cloak, and I swing it around my shoulders. There is a collective gasp. Captain Beilschmidt walks up and pins the medal on my new uniform, a strange gleam in his eyes. You made the right choice, they seem to say.
It is customary for the top-ranking cadet to give a speech. I walk up to the podium. There are still varied murmurs, probably wondering why I would've chosen the division that only those with a death wish choose. "Citizens," my voice rings out. I must be very loud, because they are all silenced. I take a deep breath. I'm surprised I haven't collapsed yet. I glance over to my family. My mother's eyes are widened in surprise. She was the lesser of two evils; she agreed with my father, but I remember the night she pulled me to the side, telling me to follow my heart.
Unfortunately, if I had really followed my heart, I wouldn't be standing in front of this crowd.
My father, however, has his eyes narrowed. You are a disappointment, they say. I could really care less, but it still hurts to see my own flesh and blood practically disowning me. Feliciano is smiling wide. Once our gazes meet, he gives me a thumbs-up, and I almost laugh.
"A lot of you must be wondering why I chose the Scouts, when I could've been anything that I wanted." The crowd nods. "Have you ever been in love?" I have their attention now. "Do you know what it feels like to long for something so bad that it tears at your insides? The pain of the prospect of never seeing them?" You could hear a pin drop now. I have struck a deep emotion. "That's how I feel about the Above. We hear about it briefly for all of our lives. I have a burning curiosity to see the unknown. And I..." I swallow. My hands are starting to shake. "...I feel this for a person, too. It's hard for me to stand up here and take my rightful place in my new division, knowing that I will never see them again. But they were the one to tell me to follow my passion. That we were meant to meet again." There are tears welling up in my eyes. "That's why I joined."
Before I walk away, I see a flash of emerald eyes in the crowd.
As I walk with those who had chosen the Scouts—which is a whopping three cadets—my mind works to figure out what I had seen. There aren't many with green eyes like that, and the only person that I know of is Antonio. How did he get to the square? Was that even him? My feet carry me even when my head is a jumbled mess. As far as I know, we are heading to the headquarters for further specialized training before we head out into the unknown. The large bulbs that light up the city are already dimming.
We reach the headquarters quickly and I'm directed to my temporary living quarters. I suddenly feel so tired, like I haven't slept in years. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I am asleep.
I dream of green eyes and soft lips.