Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
A/N: I've meddled in the fanfiction world for a while now but I've only ever written Puckleberry. This idea came to me and I thought it fit best with Santana. I ship Brittana but I really wish the writers had explored Samtana for a little bit longer.
Rated M for character death.
"Can you believe it's been a year?" Brittany asked, hugging herself tighter and Artie pulled her down onto his lap. "An entire year." She shook her head. "I miss her."
"We all do." Artie told her.
"Come on." Finn sighed. "Being out here is depressing." He pulled on Quinn's hand and soon the two were heading back to the car, followed by Mike and Tina.
"I miss her." Brittany repeated before wheeling Artie in the direction the other's went.
"Let's go." Mercedes said. "It's not going to do any good standing on this bridge and thinking about how she died." She, Kurt, and Blaine walked off as well.
"You coming, babe?" Puck whispered to Rachel.
Rachel looked over at Sam, who was leaning a little too far over the ledge. "In a minute. Go on without me. Sam and I will catch up." She leaned up to kiss Puck on the lips quickly and he sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets and walking back with the rest of the glee-clubbers.
Rachel pursed her lips and stepped towards Sam. "You shouldn't stand so close to the ledge." She whispered to the blonde boy and he slowly turned to look at her, moisture pooling in his eyes.
"It's my fault." He replied. "I… I killed Santana."
Her brow furrowed. "What?" She asked. "S-Sam, what are you talking about?"
Sam took a deep breath before closing his eyes and telling Rachel the story. Santana's story.
/
"What about you?" Santana nudged Sam's leg with her foot. "What do you think?"
"About what?" He looked up at her and she rolled her eyes.
"Dying." She raised her eyebrows. "We've been talking about it for the past thirty minutes. How do you want to go?"
"I dunno. I've never really thought about it." He shrugged, his fingers running through her slightly tangled mess of hair. He loved the way it felt when his fingers slid through her hair. It was always so soft; silky. He loved that it always smelled like apples.
"I want my death to be dramatic." Santana smiled up at him. "In a way so that everyone has to remember me. I want them to think about it and think about me. I don't want to die peacefully. That's too easy. I think dying like that is a cop out, you know. I want my brains splattered on a wall. No, that would be too messy. I could drown." She suggested suddenly. "I think that would be a great way to die. Surrounded by water, seeing the surface but not able to reach it." She looked away from him then when he caught her eye.
"That's twisted, Tana." He shook his head. "Pretty girls like you shouldn't think about things like that." He smiled slightly when he saw he eyes light up for a second. But it was only a second.
She leaned over to press a soft kiss to his lips. "When I'm gone… you won't forget me, will you?" She asked. "You'll remember me, won't you, Sammy?"
"How could I forget you?" He mumbled against her lips. "I'll always remember you."
She smiled at that and then laid her head on his chest. "I'll remember you, too." She whispered before falling asleep, lying beside him on her bed.
/
"Come on, Santana. It's cold out here." Sam complained. "I want to go home."
"Don't be a baby, Sammy." Santana rolled her eyes and shoved her shoes into his hands before hauling herself up on the ledge of the bridge. "It's pretty high up here."
"Get down from there, Tana." He gripped her ankle but she refused to budge. He looked up at her face and didn't like what he found there. Even in the darkness he could read the sadness in her eyes.
"It'd be easy, Sammy." She whispered. "I could jump right now and I'd be dead within minutes."
"Santana." He said more firmly but it didn't faze her.
"Brittany won't even look at me anymore." Her voice waivered slightly. "I told her that she had to pick, me or Artie, and no surprise, she picked Artie. You're all I have left, Sammy. You're the only one that still cares." Santana's words hung in the night and he shivered when he looked over the edge of the bridge. It was a long way down.
"You can't really think that's true." His eyes shifted to her face again.
"Did you know I ran away once?" Her eyes were trained on the cold water floating below her. "My mom died when I was eleven. She had cancer. I… I was so mad when my dad told me he was engaged. He decided to marry this new woman and I hadn't even met her yet." She shook her head fiercely and Sam was sure she was trying to shake away the tears. "The night she moved in I packed up a duffel bag and snuck out of my window." She laughed bitterly and he tightened his fingers around her ankle. "I just ran and I didn't stop until I reached this bridge. I sat here for hours just talking to myself, hoping that maybe my mom would hear me and she would come get me. She'd take me back to wherever she was."
"San." Sam whispered.
"I finally walked back home a little after midnight. I walked in the front door and they… my dad and that woman, the woman he had picked to replace my mother… they were just talking on the couch. My dad asked me why I was up. He hadn't even noticed I had run away that night. My mom had barely been dead one whole year and he had already replaced her with some new whore." Santana wobbled on the ledge, trying to take a step forward but Sam dug his nails into her leg, trying to pull her back. "He had replaced me. He hadn't even noticed I was gone, Sammy." She choked on a sob, pushing her hand against her mouth to stifle it.
He took that opportunity to drop her shoes and grab her hand, pulling her down from the ledge and into his arms. The tears soaked his shirt but he didn't care. He just held the girl and let her sob.
He took her home after that, making sure she was tucked into bed, nice and warm. "You have to promise me." He told her.
"Promise you what?" She asked from under her blankets.
"Don't leave me, Santana." He whispered. "I need you. You can't leave me. Not yet."
She pulled the covers back and he slid into the spot beside her, tucking her into his side. "You know I can't promise you that." She whispered into his ear and then kissed his lips gently. "But for now, tonight, I'll stay. I won't leave. I'll hold you and we'll be okay. For tonight."
/
He hadn't seen her since Saturday night on the bridge. He had snuck out of her house early Sunday morning before her dad woke up. She had still been asleep when he left.
He heard of her death Monday morning. When he got to the school, Brittany was crying while Artie tried to comfort her. Quinn looked shaken as Finn held her close, like he was trying to cling to her. Tina and Mike were standing by her locker but even they weren't talking. Kurt was wearing all black and along with Mercedes. Sam found a visibly upset Puck and a red-eyed Rachel in the choir room. Rachel was trying to calm Puck down, who looked pissed and ready to punch something or someone.
Rachel saw Sam first and ran to him, flinging her arms around his neck and hugging him hard. "I'm sorry about Santana." She whispered.
"Santana?" Sam pushed Rachel away. "What happened to Santana?"
Rachel opened her mouth and closed it again, looking back at Puck like he was going to tell her what to do. For the first time in Rachel Berry's life she was speechless. Sam didn't like it. It was probably because the silence said more than her words would have.
"No." Sam stepped back. "Rachel, what happened to Santana?" He asked again.
"She…" Rachel felt the wave of fresh tears hit her hard.
"This is a joke, right? She's going to walk in here and laugh at all of you." Sam pleaded with Rachel." Tell me this is a joke."
"They found her this morning." It was Puck's voice this time, taking over for Rachel, who buried her face in the mohawked boy's shoulder, stifling her sob. "She jumped from the bridge on the edge of town. They think she did it last night or early this morning."
Sam stumbled back again and felt his throat closing. "You're lying. She wouldn't do that." He knew she would. "She can't… she promised me."
"I'm really sorry, man." Puck shook his head.
/
"This wasn't your fault." Rachel whispered when Sam stopped talking. He hid his face from her as the tears slid down his cheeks. "You have to know that, Sam. Santana was hurting. She didn't know what to do."
"I was all she had." Sam shook his head. "I wasn't enough. I couldn't help her. I didn't realize how much she was hurting. I didn't know…" He choked on a sob. "She didn't know how I felt about her. I never had the courage to tell her."
"She knew." Rachel told him. "Girls… they always know. Santana knew how much she meant to you. And I think you knew how much you meant to her. She loved you, Sam. I know she never said it but… out of all of us, she loved you the most."
"I never got to tell her."
"It's okay." Rachel pulled her to him and he cried into her shoulder. "You just have to remember her, Sam. That's what she wanted. You."
He stood there, wrapped in Rachel Berry's arm, crying for his loss and for Santana's pain. He cried for everyone that lost something when Santana died. He cried for himself and the hurt her death had caused him.
But most of all, he cried for the girl he never got a chance to say he loved.
A/N: I'm a little on the fence about the ending but over-all I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.
Thoughts?