Disclaimer: I don't own anything besides the story which I made up

It was another tournament; as usual Tyson was his cocky self showing off because he was world champion for how long? I've lost count I'm sure he knows. I was last up as usual against this guy called Diesel who looked a right twit, spiky pink hair all punk rocker style; I'd seen it all before and all you get from them is bad music taste and lame beyblading.

Unfortunately I underestimated his power and got flung backwards hitting my head off the ground, it took me a few seconds to realise I was on the ground and enough to hear

"Get up off you're fat ass and keep playing already!" I jumped up and continued pretending it hasn't fazed me but that word FAT just echoed through my head, I was startled but it didn't affect my game.

As predicted I won but I still couldn't shake the thought from my head

"Way to go we won again!" Tyson ran up to high five me; I left him hanging and walked off. I was in no mood to high five him and I tended to do this not just because it was fun to humiliate Tyson but I liked my time and privacy. Walking along the beach towards our hotel I felt so lost in my own thoughts. Even the heavy rain wasn't bothering me. The only thing that did was noticing how skin tight my tank top was

"How could I show off my flab like that" I thought looking down at my grotesque stomach, I wanted to punch it I couldn't believe how much it bulged and I hadn't noticed

At the hotel I lay on the bed, I wanted to cry but I couldn't show weakness guys don't cry. Then again it isn't typical for them to have weight issues either.

"Kai we're are having a celebration meal you coming" a chirpy voice called peaking his head round the door

Going for food was the last thing I wanted to do but I agreed to keep Ray happy

We walked downstairs to the restaurant which was emptied just for our feast

"Oh no!" I thought to myself as I saw a table full of food to feed about fifty people. The temptation felt too much but I sat down and closed my eyes, only hearing the sound of Tyson and Max racing to see who could eat the most sausage rolls

"Hey Kai you not going to eat anything" a voice which came from Ray sounded over the slurping

"Not hungry" I opened my eyes and walked away upstairs. Such a lie I was starving.

I lay back on my bed rubbing my stomach "no you're not getting anything" I murmured, I was seriously losing my mind now I'm talking to myself! I tried to go to sleep

knock knock Damn! Disturbed from my sleep again…well was still awake but almost asleep. I got up and opened the door.

"Hey I know you're not hungry but we still have a lot of leftovers so here is some for later, the chefs don't want it"

Ray smiled handing me a lot of Tupperware tubes, i'm sure this could still feed about ten people for a few days I wonder how come Tyson never finished it.

I closed the door and shoved the boxes under my bed but even so I could still smell the leftover sausage rolls. I lay awake until 2am dreaming about eating until I couldn't take it anymore. I caved in. I HAD TO EAT!

I opened every box and shoved as much in my mouth as I could, chocolate and cold pizza isn't normally the tastiest combo but I wasn't caring, the more I guzzled down the better.

The last morsel of food went in as I tried to get as many crumbs out of the last Tupperware box. Then it hit me….my stomach felt like it had expanded I had probably consumed thousands of calories and I needed rid of it. I ran to the bathroom and shoved two fingers down the back of my throat, wasn't as hard as I thought but that was probably because of the mass of food I'd eaten.

My eyes were streaming as I felt my throat burning but I was determined to get rid of everything in my stomach I had been such an idiot!

I gave one last heave and flushed the toilet, staggering to my feet with the room feeling like it was moving, but I was happy.

"Kai open the door" Sugar! Forgot I shared a bathroom with Ray's room. I dragged myself over to his bathroom doorway and unlocked it; thank goodness I'd forgotten to unlock it earlier in the morning after my shower, I could do with a shower now though I reek.

"I heard you being sick, sounded nasty are you ok?" Ray was always the sympathetic one and it made me feel guilty because I wasn't actually ill" Listen I'll go get you a bucket and my sleeping bag and I'll stay in your room tonight to make sure you're ok". I was too weary to disagree but I stumbled back to my room. I quickly became alert when I remembered about the Tupperware tubes still on the floor, shoving them under the bed just as Ray came in.

"I'm back, how come your not in bed yet?" he was such a motherly figure, if I hadn't jumped under the covers within two seconds there he would of tucked me in!

"Do you want anything else?" He said plopping the bucket down beside my bed and a glass of water on the bedside table. Good he hadn't noticed the empty Tupperware boxes .I was out of the woods the now.

"No thanks" I mumbled turning over and gently closing my eyes, I was exhausted by now and so drifted gently off to sleep.

The nightmare I had that night though, woke me up abruptly. It was the same situation I was in earlier with the exact same comment from Diesel but then everyone joined in saying how fat I was even Tyson where I was then suddenly shoved in front of a mirror and was getting bigger and bigger every second

"AHHHH!" I jumped up and wiped my head realising it had been a dream, cold sweat lovely!

"You aright?" oops I had woken Ray up.

"Err yeah just a bad dream" I lifted the covers up and walked to the bathroom washing my face with a wet face cloth. Looking in the mirror relieved I can't see below my neck but still disgusted in myself so turned away from it

"You up for breakfast?" Ray shouted from my room, again I didn't want to but I realised I needed to gain some control so I don't binge again and cave like that. "Be down in a second"

"Hey pukezilla been busy praying to the porcelain God!" Tyson bellowed as I sat down at the table I began feeling embarrassed but I tend to hide embarrassment very well with a glare, this one aimed at Ray for telling Tyson and he knew it was for him!

"so what do you lot want?" the waiter came over looking at Tyson first, only been here two or three days and already know he's decided with his list of food.

"I'll have two fried egg four rations of bacon …." He droned on and on while I started thinking what I was going to have "nothing too fatty like bacon nothing too greasy like eggs"

"Yo Kai what do you want!" Tyson yelled, wow he finished his list! Oh yeah I had to answer the waiter….

"Bowl of cornflakes please" that seemed reasonable. Of course mine came first there was no effort in making it, although I do remember Tyson missing the bowl completely one morning when he tried to make his own breakfast.

I cautiously chewed on the cornflakes at first but then picked up the pace till again I was hit in the face with the facts

"Wow Kai I can't believe your having the same as me they are loaded with sugar that's why they are soooo nice!"

I froze. CRUD! I didn't want to make it obvious but I pushed the bowl aside.

"I'm going to go back up to bed" I walked off and started running upstairs, I couldn't stand anything digesting I had to get rid of it again. So much for control.

I grabbed onto the side of the toilet to stop myself from falling in, this time it was harder because of how little I'd actually eaten and I was being so forceful I even forgot to breath and started choking and spluttering missing the loo completely. Then I felt a soothing hand rubbed against my back.

I closed my eyes cringing, I knew who it was and I was worried I had been caught. I looked in his eyes but then back again at the loo, my stomach was hurting so much now that it was making me throw up without the effort.

"Feeling a little better?" Ray kept rubbing my back even though I'd stopped "mmmhmm" I moved backwards from my knees and sat against the wall while he got me a glass of water, again with the water!. I noticed Ray's bathroom door wide open while mine remained shut, not only had I lost control again but I'd been totally careless doing so, even though I could tell Ray still thought I was ill rather than self infliction next time he was going to figure out if I wasn't careful.

Although I wanted to go train Ray insisted I went to bed, we had a charity tournament coming up and although I don't normally care this was for a cancer charity and its something that affects everyone so I wasn't going to forget about that.

After Ray went I got up, I thought about going to train but I couldn't do it in the hotel because they'd find me and tell me to go back to bed. So I went for a walk.

Walking along the beach again, although it was sunny and crowded, it felt just like last night walking along after that guy DIESEL destroyed me. I'm supposed to be the rational not caring guy. I had a jacket on even though it was really hot, and seeing thin girls flirting with guys with washboard stomachs just made me feel sick again.

I walked past a gym which again had those retched washboard stomach guys on treadmills. This was just what I needed but I couldn't go in there and let everyone see my flab bouncing especially in front of the window but then a little shine of light appeared when I came across an empty warehouse.

I released Dranzer and raced around it beside her, changing the pathway and adding a few extra moves like press ups in while Dranzer circled round. I was getting very tired but I had to keep going, I needed to be thin.

After a few hours I began to feel really dizzy so picked up Dranzer and walked back to the hotel and staggered up to my room collapsing on my bed, I was almost asleep when familiar footsteps came in the door.

A cold hand touched my forehead but I was too tired to respond, a wet facecloth followed and I realised it wasn't just Ray in the room

"Lets just leave him for a while Max he's probably just got the flu"

"I hope so, poor guy"

The door shut and I was finally left at ease, I liked this. No food, no messiness why didn't I think of this before!

grumble oh yeah that, the hunger factor. But I was too tired to think of eating I needed sleep….

Five o clock! That's early, still I did go to bed at six last night, so I thought I would go out for a little stroll. Or run rather

No one was around so I didn't mind running, I knew I had to be back by seven though because breakfast started at six and everyone always went down by eight, god these numbers are doing my head in again.

I took a seat on the prom and stared at the sea drinking my bottle of water I'd taken before leaving the hotel. It looked so beautiful and relaxing ……ah crud it's almost seven!

I dashed back to the hotel and made it to the lift. Unfortunately the people who I were avoiding came out the lift

"Kai where have you been!" Max yelled obviously eager for his cornflakes

"I woke up early so thought I'd have breakfast, I'm going to have a shower"

Before they answered I was in the lift and halfway up to the room. I did a few sit ups and then hit the shower before I got called down for training "if I was up for it"

Course I was! It was only a few more days to go till the tournament and we were flying out and that was going to waste a whole day.

I worked and worked and worked thrashing Tyson every time I played him

"Jeez Kai we are just practising don't be so rough!" he snarled as I beat him for the seventh time

"No pain no game" two can snarl you know Tyson!

"well no game we've been playing all day and time for dinner … cant believe we missed lunch" he said running off towards the restaurant

As Ray and Max followed Tyson I walked in the other direction

"Kai where are you going?" Trust Ray to notice

"Just a walk"I replied and went away before anyone asked anything else, I was sure Ray would be suspicious by now but he didn't say anything. Deep down I hoped he would.

I went back to the warehouse and started the workout again; taken it a little easier because I was really feeling light headed and quite sore so went back and went to bed.

I carried on doing this for almost a week until the day we were flying out to the airport, I didn't realise at the time I was gradually getting more tired and had very little energy. Then came the day we were going to the airport

"Wake up wake up wake up!" a hyperactive Max started shaking my arm, doesn't he know the knocking rule!

"Sorry Kai but we are late to go to the airport" Ray put his head round the corner "we couldn't even wake you up for breakfast"

I was still feeling really tired and weak, this wasn't like me at all and I think everyone could see that, mind you I had only just noticed. As soon as I got in the taxi to the airport I dozed off again.

I don't remember much of the day travelling, I slept the whole time being woken to move from car to plane and plane to car and all sorts blaming it on the disrupted fitness regime, when we got to our new hotel in Florida and found out we all had to share a room I couldn't care less and lay down, just before I crashed out I heard Ray and Tyson in the background

"Tyson I'm worried, he seems very sleepy lately I reckon something's wrong"

"Oh he's fine Ray he's probably still recovering from that bug a week ago "I went back into the land of nod.

"Bzzzzp" they had set an alarm clock for me, probably a wise idea as I would have punched anyone who woke me up like what the alarm clock got.

I missed breakfast again, good; my stomach was hurting so much anyway from hunger that I didn't want any. I went to the front door to see Ray, Max and Tyson already waiting for me.

"You look awful!" Tyson shouted, he had to tell….no shout everything to everyone didn't he!

"Shut up Tyson!" he was telling the truth though. I had glanced in the mirror before I left and I looked pale and had bags under my eyes like I hadn't slept for days but I looked a little thinner. Still wasn't enough.

I really was in a daze I knew I was in the stadium but everything was blurry, Tyson shouted it was my shot so I got up steadily. Ray had to stop me from falling over.

"Kai I'll take over if you're not up to it!" he sounded very concerned but I was not giving this up just because I was a little dizzy, rather very dizzy.

"Leave me alone Ray i'm fine!" I snatched my arm back and went to the dish; I was playing a little kid

"I can't believe I get to play my hero Kai!" he squeaked, he didn't look much competition but I was told I need to at least last ten minutes per opponent just so they don't get totally put off the sport and it was only in fun anyway.

It started off ok; I had the guy on the run although I was going to pull back in a second to make him think he was winning for a little while. The smile on his face brought me abit of joy so I smiled back. Just as I drew back I got hit by a major dizzy spell, and my eyes went from blurry to blackness. I caught a glimpse of my blue blade getting flung out the disk before I collapsed.

"Owww my head" I thought as my eyes gradually opened I saw white around me, great I'm in hospital! And there's a needle in my arm!. I reach to pull it out but was stopped by another arm

"Don't do that" I was still slightly disorientated but could tell it was Ray

"Why didn't you tell me?" I could see he was worried, looked like he had been crying, I turned away because I didn't like seeing him upset but also as I didn't know the answer to the question

"Please tell me Kai, I know you have eating problems" he stopped looking at me and focused on the floor, I felt really guilty I didn't know!

"I didn't think you would understand" I replied, I sounded so weak I didn't believe this was me, always trying to represent power in such a weak form, must take even more power to be so open though. When I told Ray that he looked really hurt and I couldn't help shedding a tear.

"I'm sorry" I sniffed "I don't want you to worry about me and I didn't say because I didn't want you to see me weak" he started blubbing again himself and came and gave me a hug. It felt like I had taken the first steps to being a more open person and although we never said anything it seemed as if the burden had been lifted.

Wiping back the tears I remembered there were a few people missing" so where's Tyson and Max?"

"Café of course……."Ray chuckled although stopped suddenly as if it was a taboo. To be honest this had been enough of a wake up call actually to realise I had been stupid starving myself.

"Great ask the nurse if I can go I'm hungry!" I laughed back. I knew I would still feel self conscious and worry about every mouthful but at least with Ray's support now I felt more confident I could overcome it. This is what I call true power.