"Hey."
"Hi."
Awkward silence.
"So…"
"So…"
Sigh.
Sigh.
Awkward silence.
This was the story of their lives ever since their little road trip three days before her big 1-8. They had nothing to say anymore. He had said it all.
"This was a sign, okay?! This? It can't happen."
…
"You save a look just for me…"
"Well I don't want to give you that look. Jude, please, just let it go. You don't deserve this." He waved a hand toward himself, signifying the mess he was at that current moment.
"What I don't deserve, Tommy, is for you to turn tail like this whenever it suits you!"
…
"It's not like I can help it! Every time I try to do something right someone gets hurt! It can't be you, Jude. I can't lose you like I lost her. It will kill me."
"Tommy…"
"No. It's a bad idea. You and I can never be."
She looked away but not before he noticed her lip quivering and the tears spilling freely.
He reached out and caught one tear, showing it to her. "This," he whispered, "is all I'll ever be good for."
…
I've made a choice, Jude, and it's final. In order to save your heart, I have to break it."
She slammed her hand down hard, and pushed herself angrily out of her seat, causing him to jump. "What the fuck, Jude?"
"I hate this!" She angrily jabbed an accusing finger into his face. "You did this to us!"
"Did what?! I told you to drop it and you didn't."
"So now it's my fault you can't get over whatever the hell it is you fucked up this time."
He sighed. "Jude, it's not that simple."
"Nothing ever is with you, and you made it that way."
"Jude for godsakes, calm the hell down."
"NO! Don't touch me, Quincy."
He looked away. "Just trying to help."
"We've been over this already. If you want to help me, stop hurting me." Her voice stopped being angry and started to plead. "Don't you get it? You're the only person who has my back in this industry. At all. When all is said and done, Dad will still be the guy who messed up my family. Mom will still be the bitch that ran away from me. Sadie will still see me as either competition or a means for her to get to the top…"
"And I will screw up everything else in your life!" He started to pace. "No. The more I think about it, the worse it gets--"
"I'm so freakin tired of thinking, Tommy. Overanalyzing something someone did, thinking about why people in my life just leave, thinking about my past and your past and what's keeping us apart, thinking about my career…" She let out a light sob and he abruptly stopped his pacing and turned to her. She walked toward him. "Please, Tommy. Thinking makes my heart hurt."
"Oh Jude…"
"Can we just not think anymore?"
"Jude…"
"Please, Tommy? Can we just… feel?"
"Jude, I…"
"Please, Tommy? Just for today."
Tears were spilling from her wide blue eyes and her lips were drawn into a pout. Tommy could never resist her when she was like this. Her sixteenth birthday and White Lines were perfect examples. He reached out and caught a tear again before pulling her to him in a soul-searing kiss.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Jude and Tommy lay curled up together in his bed, her sleeping, and him letting his mind grow accustomed to what had just happened.
He collapsed on top of her, kissing her skin softly as her breathing returned to normal. He looked up into those eyes that sparkled midnight blue in the dim light. "Jude?"
"Hmm?"
"This… I don't want it to be just for today."
She stared down at him with an expression of hope and curiosity. "Oh?"
"I want it to be forever."
He grinned when she did, but grew serious again. "But there's no guarantee I won't mess up."
"It's okay, Quincy. God, you really do have to get over yourself," she grinned, pushing him onto his back and straddling him, rendering him deliciously trapped. "You aren't perfect. You never will be. I never will either." She placed a kiss on his collarbone. "I learned something, Tommy." Another kiss. "I learned." On his chest. And another. "Love isn't blind." A kiss on his perfectly outlined six-pack. "It sees everything." A little lower. "Every." And another. "Little." A little lower. His breath was starting to come a bit shorter. "Detail." And lower. "And the best part is…" she ran a finger along the underside of his length, making him catch his breath. "It accepts you anyway." She let go of his cock and crawled back up to where he was having a virtual asthma attack from her touch. She looked straight into his baby blues. "I love you, Tommy. Do you love me back?"
His only answer was to roll her back over intent on finishing what she started.
He thought about everything that happened with Angie. How hard she fell for him and how hard it was to accept the fact that she was gone. Everything that had happened to her was his fault. He thought about how Darius ruined his career and then vaulted his only hope—his solo album.
Then he thought about the lengths she'd gone to in order to get it back for him. What an ungrateful bastard he'd been. He always underestimated her… or rather, her love for him. He looked down at the amazing girl laying next to him. She officially was his whole world. She really would give up anything for him.
Would she give up her music? Because Darius was an unpredictable beast. He would either be very happy or very angry when he found out about them. If he made her choose like he made him choose… what… or who… would she pick?
But then, she had chased his car down the street and skipped her performance when he didn't stop. She also got plastered and posted the result of that night on her webpage. Actually, they did a lot of chasing and running from each other. This time around, he wanted to end that.
Well, maybe not. He just hated putting her through pain. Chasing and running, however, made the moment they were caught so much more ratifying than if they were your normal couple.
That was just the problem. They were not a normal couple and he was the cause of that. And the vicious cycle begins again.
"You're thinking too hard, Tommy."
"Huh? Oh. Didn't realize you were awake."
"What's up your butt, Quincy?"
"I just… it's nonsense. I was panicking again."
"Like the smoke coming out of your ears wasn't a sign of that."
"Hey!"
She studied him and it dawned on her what he was ranting about this time. "You're worried about Darius."
"What if he's mad?" He whispered, obviously scared. "He'll make you pick… he'll make you leave me or else he'll destroy your career like he did to mine. He'll make me hurt you. I don't want--"
"I'll always pick you, Tommy."
"But…"
"If he makes us leave the label, we can get a cabin in the mountains and jam there forever."
He just laughed. "I told Sadie that for her media project. A little cabin in the woods with a studio."
"Yeah. We could do our albums on our own time with our own dime."
"You would really want that?"
"You know, you can take the girl out of the music, but you can't take the music out of the girl. If there's one thing Darius will never take away from me, it's my music, because it's in my heart. However, Darius can scare you into leaving me. So it's you I have to fight for, not my music. I can take that anywhere."
He smiled thoughtfully at her. "You're a piece of work, Harrison. I couldn't love you more."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Jude woke up to the sound of a soft guitar accompanying Tommy's amazing voice. It would pause every few moments and then it would continue. She got up and wet into the bathroom to shower. She came out wearing sweatpants and his t-shirt.
When she came into the living room, She saw Tommy on the balcony, clad only in boxers with guitar in hand. "Morning."
He chuckled as he glanced at his watch. "More like afternoon, babe. You hungry?"
"A little."
"Don't lie to me, Harrison."
"Not too hungry to hear what you're working on."
"I want to pitch it to Darius tomorrow. It has to be perfect."
"Well let's hear it."
He took a deep breath. "Okay, but I have to get into character."
"Oh?"
He stood up and pressed his lips to her softly but passionately. It was the most beautifully innocent kiss he'd ever experienced and he was blown away by the whole thing. He finally detached his lips from hers and his eyes drank in an equally dazed Jude.
He sat down again. "I'm good." Took a deep breath and started to play.
We'll do it all We don't need If I lay here I don't quite know Those three words If I lay here Forget
what we're told Let's waste time I need your grace If I lay here Forget what we're told All that I am I don't know where If I lay here
Everything
On our own
Anything
Or
anyone
If I just lay here
Would you lie
with me and just forget the world?
How
to say
How I feel
Are said too much
They're not enough
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's
bursting into life
Chasing cars
Around
our heads
To remind me
To find my
own
If I just lay here
Would you lie
with me and just forget the world?
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into
life
All that I ever was
Is here in
your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will
never change for us at all
If I just lay
here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world…?
Watched him pour his heart into his song and, when it was over, watched him turn to her for her approval. "Yer like it?"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"I love it!" boomed Darius. "It'll be your first single off your new album… wait a minute, who produced it?"
Tommy saw Jude nervously like her lips. "I did."
"Jude?" Darius gazed between them and he finally caught on. "You two… I can't freaking believe it. Wow."
Jude licked her lips again and Tommy started wringing his hands.
"I just…"
"What?!" Jude finally said out of exasperation.
"It fuckin took long enough." He chuckled to himself as he walked to the door. "This is going to be the biggest PR Supernova the G-Major galaxy has ever seen. Hold on to your pants."
After he was gone, He turned to Jude and kissed her, his hand wandering up her shirt.
She pulled away and looked up at him, giggling. "Now why would I do that?"
He grinned as he reached for the button of her jeans. "Really. Why would you?"
FIN
A/N: so it's not my usual stuff. It's actually way off from what I normally do. But hey. If you like it, I'm all for it. Reviews will be nice. Okay, so I'm understating that a little. Reviews are freaking awesome! The make me smile inside!!!!!
For the record, I suck at smut, that's why I didn't really get into that scene there. Sorry to everyone who may have thought it was cut short.
Disclaimer: I do not own instant star or snow patrol's song, chasing cars. Please do not sue me cuz it's not like I got anything you can sue me for anyway ;-]
Amor y paz,
~temporary insanity.