Trust

Author: Lawral

Pairing: McGee/Ziva

Rating: FR7

Summary: Ziva shows up on McGee's doorstep following the death of Lt. Saunders.

Note: Written for Cassy as a Hangman Prize.

McGee sat at his writing desk and was typing away at his newest book. He was still lucky that the rest of the team hadn't found out about the book he'd already published. If they knew, they'd cause him more pain than he cared to even think about. The past few days had been a hard case of trying to figure out who was killing Lt. Saunders with radiation. Now that they knew who it was and the case was closed he could go back to concentrating on his sequel.

The girl hadn't meant to kill Saunders, at least she said. She had seemed very upset but Tim couldn't believe she'd take such measures to make Saunders sick so he couldn't travel. Why hadn't she wanted him to travel anyway? A crush, most likely. Saunders had been good looking. Ziva sure had taken a liking to him.

He'd never seen her act the way she had when it came to a case. She'd enjoyed playing his body guard to much. A smile formed on the corner of Tim's mouth as he thought of it. Tony was always assuming that Ziva didn't have feelings. Well, she'd just proved that she did have feelings and it had taken a dying man to bring them out.

McGee looked up from his typing as he heard a small bang against the wall outside his door. He started to ignore it but decided to make sure everything was ok with his neighbors. It was probably the Special Agent in him to investigate. He opened the door a fraction and peeked out the door before opening it wider and poking his head out of the door.

"Ziva?" He asked.

Ziva was leaning against the wall next to Tim's front door. She was looking down at the floor and banging against the wall every few seconds in a slow, steady pace. She had obviously not heard him and he reached his hand out carefully, knowing her reaching to sudden unexpected contact. He lightly touched her arm and she looked up at him. Her eyes were red and filled with tears.

"Ziva." He whispered. "Come on." He gently pulled her inside his apartment and then closed the door.

She still hadn't said a word and was still staring at the floor as if she could see through it. He lead her to his computer work area and sat her down on the chair and knelt down in front of her. Her hands fell into her lap and she started fidgeting with her fingertips.

"Are you ok?" Tim sighed, concerned that his friend seemed so distraught.

"He died." Ziva said.

Tim could hear her voice quiver and see that she could be close to crying. He'd never seen Ziva even close to crying or anything close to being upset emotionally, aside from her casual verbal death threats. Tim wasn't sure how to comfort her without risking his own health in the process. He took a chance and placed one of his hands on her knee and rubbed it lightly.

"The hospital told me I could not stay with him anymore after we closed the case. One of his nurses called me fifteen minutes ago and told me that he died."

Ziva continued to stare at the floor. He could tell that she wasn't sure how to acknowledge her feelings. Ziva didn't do things in the same manner as he or Tony did. She bottled things up until she erupted on some suspect. Tony had told him that he thought Ziva had fallen for Saunders, they shared a hobby had he'd flirted with her shamelessly even though he could barely walk.

"I'm sorry, Ziva. I know that you bonded with him."

Ziva jumped to her feet and started pacing in the small area that was McGee's "living room." She was rambling in Hebrew and waving her hands around animatedly.

"I did more than bond with him, McGee. Was Tony the only moron who picked up on the fact that I…" She paused and turned to him. "I simply do not fall in love, McGee. I just do not."

"You think it shows weakness?" McGee asked her.

"Does it not?" Ziva countered.

"No. Ziva, it's a sign that you trust people."

"Trusting people is dangerous where I come from."

"No," Tim stood and caught her shoulders as she paced past him. "Trust is dangerous no matter where you live. Trusting someone means that you have some sort of feelings for them. Friendship, love, respect… they all coincide. You can't love someone unless you trust them and unless you trust someone you can't really say you have a friendship with them. It's all a cycle."

"What does that mean?" Ziva growled.

Tim paused and let go of her shoulders. A shy smile crossed his face and he cleared his throat. "I uh… I'm not sure. I kind of lost my point somewhere."

Ziva slumped down into the chair he'd vacated and concentrated on the rug at her feet. She felt miserable. She'd been trained to limit the amount of people she "trusted." A lifetime of losing people had taught her that lesson. She wasn't the type that lowered her defensive walls so willingly. How had Roy done that in just an afternoon? Two days with a man she'd only seen for a few moments every morning had destroyed the walls she'd built around her heart.

"Ziva?"

She looked up to see McGee holding a hand out to her. She looked up to him and then back to his hand.

"You can trust me, Ziva."

She reached up and took his hand. He lead them into his bedroom and laid her down. He sat down next to her on the bed and circled his arm around her shoulder and pulled her against his chest. She laid against his chest and listened to his heartbeat as his hand rubbed up and down on her arm. She felt everything draining from her body, exhaustion had taken over and she was going to fall asleep. She had to tell him before she closed her eyes, before she allowed him to comfort her into a peaceful sleep.

"I trust you, McGee." She said softly just as her eyes closed and sleep claimed her.