Darkness
Summery: A song fic about Faith while she's in jail. She finds it hard to sleep as images of her past flood her mind. She reflects about Buffy and co, a bit about what she's done in her life and how much she wants to change. But most off all it's about her facing up to what she's done. Song: 3 EB-Darkness
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//Blue come over
Born a joneser
And the cops roll out the radar
And shoot devious grins
Another day begins//
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Every day is the same for Faith. Jail isn't that bad, she's lived through worse. At least here she gets food on a regular basis . . . not like when she was a child.
She can't help but think about the past. What she did and why she did it. How she could have changed things if only she had been given the chance. Maybe if she'd had a proper childhood with loving parents then maybe . . . . just maybe, she might have turned out different.
But faith has only ever had herself to relay on. She never had the love and the guidance needed in a childhood. She never knew her father and her mother never cared.
No one had ever showed her affection and emotions were a thing she'd learned to hide.
It was easy to live being closed off from others . . . that way you didn't get hurt.
That's one of the things she regrets. She regrets not giving it a chance. Maybe if she had been nicer and let people in a little more she could have had good friends and everything would be different.
She could have been happy and theres nothing Faith wants more than to be accepted and loved.
Her first watcher nearly got through to her. She showed Faith responsibility and give her guidance and affection.. She was the only one that Faith ever let in and her watcher had been proud, but when it counted, Faith had let her down. She had tried . . . she really had. But in the end she failed and Faith blamed herself.
If only she had fought harder . . .
If only she hadn't have been so scared . . .
Then she'd still be alive and Faith wouldn't hate herself so much.
And there was nothing Faith hated more . . . than herself.
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//I want someone to know me
Maybe tell me who I am
Cause I've faced down my demons
And cried out to a god
A God I've never seen//
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Faith didn't believe in God and she couldn't see why people did. If God did exist than why would he sit back and watch as good people died. Why would he let a child grow up being abused and unloved? Why didn't he care about all the people that died everyday?
If there was a God then why didn't he answer her call when she needed him the most? He let her watcher die right in front of her and he never even cared.
Faith had fought demons for years, but none were worse than her own. She had done so many things that she was ashamed off and hurt so many people in the process. She had killed two men, tortured one and betrayed the only people that had tried to be her friends.
She had never meant any of it . . . she just couldn't stop herself.
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//And the world darkens around me
Strange friends all surround me
New ideas in my head start to burn
Dropped out of schools cuz of things that I never learned
And the world darkens around me
World darkens around me//
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So what do you think? You like? Well let me know!!
REVIEW
Summery: A song fic about Faith while she's in jail. She finds it hard to sleep as images of her past flood her mind. She reflects about Buffy and co, a bit about what she's done in her life and how much she wants to change. But most off all it's about her facing up to what she's done. Song: 3 EB-Darkness
*
*
//Blue come over
Born a joneser
And the cops roll out the radar
And shoot devious grins
Another day begins//
*
Every day is the same for Faith. Jail isn't that bad, she's lived through worse. At least here she gets food on a regular basis . . . not like when she was a child.
She can't help but think about the past. What she did and why she did it. How she could have changed things if only she had been given the chance. Maybe if she'd had a proper childhood with loving parents then maybe . . . . just maybe, she might have turned out different.
But faith has only ever had herself to relay on. She never had the love and the guidance needed in a childhood. She never knew her father and her mother never cared.
No one had ever showed her affection and emotions were a thing she'd learned to hide.
It was easy to live being closed off from others . . . that way you didn't get hurt.
That's one of the things she regrets. She regrets not giving it a chance. Maybe if she had been nicer and let people in a little more she could have had good friends and everything would be different.
She could have been happy and theres nothing Faith wants more than to be accepted and loved.
Her first watcher nearly got through to her. She showed Faith responsibility and give her guidance and affection.. She was the only one that Faith ever let in and her watcher had been proud, but when it counted, Faith had let her down. She had tried . . . she really had. But in the end she failed and Faith blamed herself.
If only she had fought harder . . .
If only she hadn't have been so scared . . .
Then she'd still be alive and Faith wouldn't hate herself so much.
And there was nothing Faith hated more . . . than herself.
*
//I want someone to know me
Maybe tell me who I am
Cause I've faced down my demons
And cried out to a god
A God I've never seen//
*
Faith didn't believe in God and she couldn't see why people did. If God did exist than why would he sit back and watch as good people died. Why would he let a child grow up being abused and unloved? Why didn't he care about all the people that died everyday?
If there was a God then why didn't he answer her call when she needed him the most? He let her watcher die right in front of her and he never even cared.
Faith had fought demons for years, but none were worse than her own. She had done so many things that she was ashamed off and hurt so many people in the process. She had killed two men, tortured one and betrayed the only people that had tried to be her friends.
She had never meant any of it . . . she just couldn't stop herself.
*
//And the world darkens around me
Strange friends all surround me
New ideas in my head start to burn
Dropped out of schools cuz of things that I never learned
And the world darkens around me
World darkens around me//
*
*
*
So what do you think? You like? Well let me know!!
REVIEW