Dear Layla,
I don't know the words to pen to let you know how much I already love you. When we found out that you were a baby girl, and my heart soared and broke into a million pieces at the same time. I wish I could be here to watch you grow up, to watch you become beautiful just like your mother, to protect you. The universe is unique in it's punishments little darling, and so I will not be able to be here with you for as long as I would like. I would like to introduce myself to you though, My name is Ezra Fitz and I am your father. I was born on February 2nd, and later on you will come to know that it is Groundhog day as well. My parents loved me very much. I had a brother and a sister, and was the middle child. I wish I had enough time to tell you everything about me, but you're about to be born soon, and I don't want to miss a minute of it. I love you, and you will always be my baby girl.
Love,
Daddy.
Age 1
Dear Layla,
You're turning one today, and I couldn't be more proud. In this letter I am going to tell you how we decided on your name. Your mother and I decided we wanted something unique, something a teacher could read off of the roster and look up and smile. Or chuckle to him or herself softly. We wanted your name to represent you in all aspects of the word. We have high hopes for you, and mainly I hope you inherit your mother's hair, mine is just a mess. I remember when we decided we were going to name you Layla, I cried when the Eric Clapton song came on the radio station on the way home from the doctor's office. We knew then, that you would always be a Layla. My darling baby girl. Daddy loves you, please don't grow up too fast. I'm not sure your mother and I could handle it.
Love,
Daddy.
Age 2
Dear Layla,
You are in love with Dora, or so I hope. And your mother has the house decorated in the cartoon. You're smiling, and marveling at all the presents stacked up on the table that you still can't reach. You're spewing off sentences faster than we can comprehend, and racing about the house with Spencer's daughter and Hanna's son. Your mother and the girls are standing at the island sipping coffee and smiling at the three of you. Aunt Emily isn't with us this year, but she sends her love. I'm hoping she made it to Spain for the Olympics in one piece. Your grandparents are all huddled together in the corner, Grandpa Byron is smiling down at you sweetly, remember your mother at that age. I'm hoping that you look just like her. The cake is in the fridge, and I hope you love chocolate because that's what was ordered. I hope you get your wish this year baby girl, but something tells me, your mother can't wrap a pony. Next year, honey, we'll try harder. I promise.
Love,
Daddy.
Age 3
Darling Layla,
I hope you like the bike I begged your mother to get you. I hope it's pink and has pink and silver tassels, and I hope that the training wheels are white. I hope you ride it up and down the driveway, but don't get too close to the street honey. I hope you are learning how to play gold fish the right way, and not the way Uncle Mike taught you. I hope you, Meredith, and Calvin are all getting along. I hope you are all the best of friends. I hope you beg your mother to read you a bedtime story and I hope you fall asleep with your head on her shoulder. I hope you stay young forever. I'll always remember you as the small baby I held, swaddled in pink. Daddy loves you, Layla. Please, try to never grow up.
Love,
Daddy.
Age 4
Beautiful Layla,
You're in preschool now, and I hear you're doing amazing. I heard you know your ABC's and that you recite them so well. Your two front teeth fell out not too long ago, and you got not one but two dollars! I heard you wanted to be just like mommy when you grow up, and I couldn't think of anyone better for you. I hope you love to read as much as your mother and I do. This is going to be your last letter for a while baby girl, but always remember that I love you, no matter what. Do well in school honey.
Love,
Daddy.
Age 16
Dear Layla,
I skipped a whole chunk in your life, and eventually you are going to ask why. I couldn't stand to lay in this bed and write you a letter for each birthday when I could have been spending so much time with you. The last amount of time I had left. It's your Sweet 16, and I want you to enjoy every second of it. But Layla, I want you to know that I did not leave you on purpose. I got sick honey, and sometimes when people get sick they don't make it. I'm sure your mother explained all about death to you, and now I want you to know the real truth. The doctors never gave me much time to begin with, the cancer had already spread everywhere when they finally caught on to it. And I promised myself that I would stay alive until you were born. Your entire life, you've had to live without me and I know that it is not fair. I know that all of your other friends had their daddy growing up, and you came home to your mother, who I pray didn't hit the wine bottle every night like she did when I was first diagnosed.
I wish I could have watched you grow up into a beautiful young lady, and I hope that these letters helped you more that hurt you. I only wish that I could see your smile, or wipe your tears. I wish I could have rocked you to sleep when you woke from a nightmare. I wish I never had to miss birthdays, or holidays, or even your first date. But, sadly, I know that I must. I met your mother when she was your age, and I hope you are like her in every way. She was kind, and sincere, and dedicated to anything she put herself to. She loved me with a passion that only I could reciprocate. She loves you even more. We only spent a few short years together, but they were all wonderful, and from those years, you came. You are the single best thing to happen to the both of us.
I hope any boy or girl you bring home respects you, and respects your mother. I hope you read To Kill A Mocking Bird and think of me. I hope you look in the mirror and think of me. I hope you are proud of yourself, the way that I am proud of you. And you tell your future husband or wife, that I loved you first.
I wish I could be there to walk you down the aisle, to give your hand to the person waiting at the other end, to watch you build a home and a family with your soul mate the way I did with your mother. I wish you every ounce of good in the world and pray that the bad stay away…
I'm sorry for not being here to watch you grow up, but know that I fought hard to spend as much time with you as I could. Your mother is curled up in the chair and I am sitting on the bed, you're asleep in the crib next to us as I write this. Tomorrow I will be admitted to the hospital, to see if the chemo has worked even a little bit, but I can feel the cancer draining me of all my energy.
I love you, Layla Ariel Fitz, and I hope you achieve many things. Don't grow up too fast, and remember me whenever you can. I'll always be watching over you.
Love always,
Daddy.
Dear Daddy,
I married Calvin, Aunt Hanna's son. I told him exactly what you said, about you loving me first, and he understood completely. He knows that you aren't here to physically protect me, and that's where he stepped in all his life. Uncle Caleb and Uncle Toby have also protected me. Mom is 25 years sober, she quit after you passed away daddy, you should be so proud of her. I have a brother, you have a son. His name is Anthony Ezra Fitz, you did leave mom with one parting gift, and she thanks you for it everyday. Tony has protected me as well, even though it should be the other way around. I did love Dora and chocolate, and my bike looked exactly like that daddy! I look exactly like mom, but she says I have your eyes, and for that I am grateful. I keep your old copy of To Kill A Mocking Bird in my purse with me at all times, it's the piece of you besides my letters that I have. I trace the notes you made in it, and smile. I imagine you'd be gray around the edges now, but still wearing your sweater vests.
Mom never re-married, incase you were wondering. It's always been the three of us, and when Grandpa Byron passed away Grandma Ella moved in with us. Grandma Victoria and Grandpa David both passed away, I'm so sorry daddy. I hope you can understand that. I made your letters into a book daddy, and I hope one day I can read it to you, wherever you are. Mom cried so hard when she read the one you sent me on my 16th birthday, I guess we have Uncle Hardy to thank for sending them all in, don't we daddy?
Tony looks just like you, I thought you should know. We love you daddy, and I hope one day I will finally get to meet you to show you how well I turned out. I hope if you can see me, that I make you so proud.
I love you daddy.
Love,
Your Baby Girl.
P.S. I loved you last. 3
A/N: This is just something I wrote while at work. I don't know the type of person I would be if my dad wasn't in the picture. I'm glad he is. Thank you for reading.