Okie dokie…I stayed up till 5:30am getting this done for ya'll so you better review! Lol jk. But seriously review.

1. Start rambling on and on about Bella being with Edward.

2. Randomly start howling.

3. Send him a picture of Edward in the shower.

4. Tell him he knows he liked it.

5. Jump out at him while wearing a werewolf mask.

6. Put a shock collar on him and somehow lock it.

7. Call him a child molester.

8. Keep talking to him about how hott Eddie-Poo is.

9. Give him a present.

10. When he opens it, squeak the toy and wave it in the air.

11. Throw said toy into the woods and tell him to fetch it.

12. Send Renesemee to Volterra without him.

13. Burn down the woods between La Push and the Cullen's house.

14. Put flea shampoo in his shampoo.

15. Lock Emmy-Poo in his room so it will smell like vampires.

16. Delete Bella's number from his phone.

17. Spray paint his car hippie-green.

18. Call him gay. (DON'T HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST GAYS!)

19. Tell him Seth imprinted on him.

20. Give him a buzz-cut.

21. Every time he falls asleep, stab him with a fork.

22. Handcuff him and Paul together and throw away the key.

23. Tell him to go chase a cat.

24. Shoot him in the leg with a silver bullet.

25. When he starts cursing, shoot him in the other leg.

I drank 5 Dr. Peppers so I am a nut right now. The penguin under your bed will eat you…so beware!