AN: Dan/Marti, but not really, you'll see. Angst galore. Read and review, please? Thanks! =)

For my boyfriend, because I love him.

The Five Times Marti Pretended Not to Notice… and the One Time She Didn't

One:

"Who do you have a crush on, Danny?" five year old Marti Perkins whispered as they pretended to be asleep during nap time.

"I asked first!" he insisted. She only stuck out her tongue. "Besides, I'm not telling you."

"Well then I won't tell you either!" she declared brazenly. "So there!"

"Come on, Marti, who would I tell?"

She crossed her arms and frowned at him. "I dunno. People. Tell me," she insisted.

He couldn't tell her; even as a five year old he knew that much. "No."

"Is it someone in our class?" He blushed and she grinned. "I knew it!" But she stopped asking, and he decided that she really couldn't know for sure. Could she?

She distracted him with a pillow fight so that she'd never have to tell Danny that yes, she liked him too. They were held in at recess, but that was okay. After all, they were held in together.

Two:

Seventh grade Valentine's Day was living Hell. Their school did "Valentine's Grams", little fake balloons with notes attached. Marti and Dan agreed that they were the stupidest thing ever, and didn't go near the stand.

That didn't mean that he didn't like her. Besides, he was her best friend, so he was allowed to give her chocolate if she didn't have a boyfriend, which she didn't. So he did.

He tried to ignore the fact that she got five Valentine's Grams from five boys. She liked his chocolate best, right?

She kept all of them, though, and told him what an amazing friend he was for remembering that Hershey bars were her favorite.

His little seventh grade heart felt a little twinge.

Friend. He'd always be just that: her best friend.

He didn't know that she kept the chocolate in her drawer forever to remember just how cute he was when he was actually trying to show that he liked her.

Three:

Dan was fairly sure that a broken condom wasn't the end of the world. After all, there were famines and wars going on somewhere out there and the world hadn't ended yet, so one little rubber certainly wasn't the catastrophic event that would end it all.

Nonetheless, it sure felt like it. He was only sixteen.

He hadn't known what to say. It had been so amazing, but then he'd gone from flying to crashing in no time at all. How could they let something like this happen?

Was it his fault? Hers? Life sucked, Dan Patch decided, slamming his locker door with venom and letting his head drop down against the cool metal. Soothing. Steady. Grounded. Safe. All the things he needed that were coming in short supply right now.

A part of his guilt, too, was that he hadn't said anything to her. What was there to say? But still. She was probably hurting, too, and he felt like he should step out of his teenage self-centric mindset.

A slightly larger part of him wondered if this meant that they'd broken up. That term, broken up, made him laugh; they hadn't even been properly together. They'd just hooked up, but being with Marti wasn't a hook up. One didn't just hook up with the person that had been one's sole best friend since preschool. He was pretty sure he could fall in love with Marti someday (that was, if the world didn't eminently come to a close) and he really didn't want to lose that chance.

He looked up and saw her walking down the hallway. He did not swoon. Guys didn't swoon. He just… melted a little, like ice cream in August. On asphalt.

Her hair was down, disordered blond curly-waves catching the light and making her glow. She wore torn up jeans, tennis shoes who's soles were falling apart, a band tee, and an unbuttoned button-up plaid shirt in the place of a jacket. Her bag was slung across one shoulder and her arms crossed in front of her; she stared at the ground and went unnoticed by most. She was beautiful.

He was as unsure as ever of what to say, especially when her eyes suddenly snapped up to meet his. "Mar—" he started to call out, but his voice caught in his throat as she glanced away again and hurried by.

His heart sunk down into his stomach and was slowly devoured by the acid there; he was dying, surely, because living shouldn't cause this much pain.

Four:

They hated cheerleaders, treated them with the same disdain that they showed preps, jocks, and rich brats. That Marti would become one shocked Dan; it seemed like some betray of her intrinsic personality. Gymnastics was one thing; cheerleading was an entirely different story.

It shocked him twice as much that he was able to support her in it. He really must love her, he marveled, knowing he'd never tell her. He'd been all but her boyfriend for years, never approaching the subject after the high school disaster hook up from hell. Losing Marti had hurt; he couldn't take that pain again.

But when he asked her if she was sure school was worth all this she'd gone on about moving far, far away. He was going to lose her; he'd never get away from this town. Hell, why would he leave? He loved Memphis; he loved the ribs, his family, and all of the places he knew like the back of his hand (although come to think, he didn't really know the back of his hand well, so he amended it to Marti's hand, as he'd definitely started at her enough times to memorize everything about her). But he loved Marti, and Memphis just wouldn't be the same home without her.

When he suggested that maybe Memphis had something to stay for, he'd hoped that she'd understand the meaning. He thought he'd seen recognition in her eyes, but she just laughed and pointed out that she'd sacrifice the ribs. As he watched her ride away to Cheertown—he was still repressing nightmares over that name, it was so a slasher movie waiting to happen—he began to feel terribly alone.

Five:

On the day Marti got her acceptance letter to a graduate law program in Chicago state (her adoring professors had pulled strings to win her the full scholarship as well), Dan was there. He was the first person she told; just like he was the first person she'd told when she got into college and when she joined the Hellcats. He was always there for the milestones in her life, but now he wouldn't be. She started to get up and leave, to run off and go tell Wanda and Travis and Savannah and Alice and Lewis, but he reached out and caught her arm. He felt like this was his last chance to say something, anything to keep her here. "Marti…"

She turned back, struggling to keep a question on her face. She already knew; anything he could say she already knew. She knew that he loved her and it wasn't enough. He let his hand drop and forced a smile. "I'm happy for you."

She grinned back. "See ya, Dan Patch."

Yet he got the feeling that he would never see her again.

Six (Two Years Later):

Dan was on the street filming something for a school project when he saw her. He almost dropped the camera and lost his focus entirely, completely zeroed in on the blond girl walking down the street. She wore nice clothes now, new and fancy; she probably had a job and he was still in Memphis, still in college, still exactly where he had been when she left. Marti had always been good at moving forward; Dan's destiny had always been to be left behind.

He couldn't go over to her. If he did he'd hug her and have to fight not to kiss her and maybe he'd cry because Dan would never fall out of love with Marti. He'd accepted that, but it hurt.

She looked over and saw him. He raised a hand to wave and she started over, but she saw it. She saw his thoughts in his eyes and his stance and she stopped again. She waved back instead, smiled, and walked away. It was the last time he ever saw Marti Perkins, but that was okay. They understood.

Reviews are love! ~Lynx