Title: More Troubles Than Most (part 1 of at least 5)
Author: Toria (
Email: lambertuglie@yahoo.co.uk
Rating: I'm English so I don't actually know - I'll go for PG-13
because of subject matter (and possibly some swearing)
Category: Jake/Hamilton
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, they're nothing to do with me (
Summary: Jake discovers she has an illness that'll prevent her from
getting pregnant, then does so anyway!
Thanks: Thanx to Sarah, my muse, without whom all writing is futile.
A/N: As a 15-year-old single mother, I know how teenage pregnancies aren't great. However, I have an illness that means I'm not supposed to be able to get pregnant, so discovering my pregnancy was fantastic for me, as I want to have a really big family. In this story, Jake goes through exactly what happened to me when I had Aeryn, my deaf baby (who is now 15 months old). In this story, Finn didn't see anything in the shower (if it happened before, I haven't decided yet) and still thinks Jake is a normal teenage boy. Oh, and let's pretend that Ryder doesn't exist.
IN THE BEGINNING
Jake sat in the empty English classroom, idly doodling on her Planner. Thursday, June 16th. She smiled, drawing little smiley faces and love hearts with "I love Hamilton" written in them.
Suddenly, she frowned. June? When did that happen? Flipping back through the weekly pages of the organiser, she found the green squares marking when she'd had her last period. December. That was. she counted on her fingers. 6 months ago. But, that couldn't be right. She counted again. Nope, six was right. Half a year!
Jake knew something was wrong with her. In February, when she'd realised it'd been 2 months, she'd merely dismissed it as normal irregularities. She'd read all the books by the time she was 10, and they'd all said that periods could be irregular for the first few years. Jake had her first menstruation just 4 days before her 13th birthday. Since then she'd been a little irregular, often skipping a few months before having a 3-month or so cycle.
But 6 months. She'd never gone that long before with no bleeding. Jake sighed. She knew she had to go to the doctors, just in case there was a big problem. She knew she definitely wasn't pregnant, she and Hamilton had never. well, they both felt they just weren't ready to have sex, and now Jake was glad. She could definitely discount pregnancy from the reasons why her periods had stopped.
Sighing again, she picked up her phone and dialled a number. After a few rings, it was picked up. Taking a deep breath, Jake said, "Hi, please may I speak to Bella?"
Sitting in the waiting room of the doctor surgery, Jake couldn't keep still. Her toes were tapping, and she kept twisting the sides of her skirt with her long, slender hands. Bella took her hand and squeezed it gently.
"It'll be OK, I know it will." She said to her. Jake smiled nervously.
The message board above their heads buzzed, and they both looked up. Large red letters flashed across the screen - Jacqueline Pratt, Dr. Schneider, Room 12.
"Do you want me to go in with you?" Bella asked anxiously.
Jake shook her head. "No, I'll be OK. Just wait here for me." Bella nodded and smiled, squeezing Jake's' hand again as she stood up and began walking down the white corridor.
"Come in!" a sickeningly cheery voice responded to Jake's' knock. As she opened the door, she was surprised to see a petite young blonde girl sitting behind the desk, writing.
"Hello, you must Jacqueline. I'm Dr. Kathryn Schneider. Please have a seat, and I'll be with you in a moment.
Jake nodded, and sat down on the straight-backed brown chair in front of the desk.
Two minutes later, Dr. Schneider put down her pen and turned to Jake. "Now Miss Pratt, what can I do for you?"
"Well.I.my periods have stopped."
Dr. Schneider smiled. "Right. When did you have your first period?"
"Right before I was 13."
"And have they been regular since then?"
"Not really. I'm normally regular for 3 or 4 months, then I have a 2 or 3-month gap. Only it's been 6 months now, and I've never gone that long before. It's so embarrassing."
Again, Dr. Schneider smiled. "Don't worry, Jacqueline, it's normal to be regular for up to 3 years. But you're right, 6 months is a long time. However, I'm not too worried if you're not regular yet. I'll bet it's just a slightly longer gap than normal, and you'll have your next monthly real soon."
Jake heaved a sigh of relief. "You think so?" she asked hopefully.
"Yup. But just to be on the safe side, I'm just gonna have a quick feel of your stomach, just to check you've got no blockage or anything. That OK?"
"Umm.sure."
"Great. Then just go sit on that bed for me. I'll go put some gloves on and I'll be right with you." Dr. Schneider walked out of the room.
Jake perched herself on the table and looked around nervously. The doctor was getting her a little worried now. As Dr. Schneider walked back in, she smiled at Jake.
"You'll have to lie down, and lift your top up a little. It's very pretty by the way, that colour really suits you."
Jake looked up, astonished. Dr. Schneider smiled again.
"What? Just because I'm a doctor doesn't mean I have no concept of fashion. I'm only 6 years older than you, Jacqueline. Now, could you just pull your skirt down a tiny bit? I'll need to see your lower abdomen."
Jake pulled down her flowery skirt a little, feeling incredibly self- conscious. It was so embarrassing!!! As the doctor pressed on her stomach, she thought of Hamilton. She was gonna have to tell him where she'd been - no doubt he'd be worrying already.
She suddenly realised that Dr. Schneider wasn't feeling her stomach anymore, and that she'd been daydreaming.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
"I'm sorry, I was thinking. So. did you feel anything or. anything?" Jake asked, sitting up and pulling her top back down.
"Nope. Your completely normal, from the outside anyway." Dr. Schneider replied, winking at Jake. "Before you go, Jacqueline, I just want to ask, is there any history of infertility in your family, or any problems any relatives of yours experienced during puberty?"
Jake thought before shaking her head. "Not that I know of, and.I don't really wanna ask.you know how it is. " She squirmed at the embarrassment of the situation.
"That's OK. Now, if you haven't had another period by October, could you come back and see me again? It's just routine." She added, as Jake looked alarmed again.
"Sure. Thank you Dr. Schneider."
"That's no problem, Jacqueline, I'm here to make you feel better." She smiled as Jake walked out the room.
Once in the corridor, Jake heaved a sigh of relief. She was just normal, it was OK, just normal teenager stuff. She smiled as she walked along back to the waiting where Bella was sitting.
Bella was, of course, happy that her friend was all right. They had a close relationship even though they were a world apart, with Jake in her posh private school and Bella just a "townie".
The summer dragged on, and Jake never told Hamilton about where she'd gone that afternoon. He'd asked a few times, but she couldn't bring herself to tell him. It was just too embarrassing.
After a couple of weeks he'd stopped asking, but she knew she'd hurt him by keeping it from him. They were still together though, and happy. Jake knew she'd tell him soon enough, she was "just looking for the right moment", as she'd told Bella when Bella reprimanded her for not telling him.
It was just the right moment hadn't arrived yet.
The right moment hadn't arrived in August, or September. Before Jake knew it, October had arrived, and she really wasn't ready for it.
She still hadn't had another period, and knew she had to go to the doctors again. She finally mustered up the courage to go on October 17th. Once again Bella accompanied her, and once again she didn't tell Hamilton. She would when she got back, she promised herself.
It was the same dismal waiting room, the same receptionist who took Jake's' name and asked her to wait. The same screen flashed her name, and she walked down the same white corridor to Room 113, where Dr. Schneider was waiting.
"Jacqueline! I didn't expect to see you here again!" she exclaimed, smiling, when Jake entered the room.
"Well, I wasn't really expecting. or wanting. to be here. I haven't had another period. Do you think there's something wrong with me?"
Dr. Schneider turned serious. "I'm not sure, Jacqueline. I'm going to book you in for a blood test, just to check your hormones are OK and your thyroid gland isn't playing up. Tell me, have you noticed your neck swelling, getting larger or sore, anything like that?"
Jake shook her head. "Nope, nothing like that."
"Well that's fine, I'm sure it'll be OK then. I'm also to get you an appointment to have an ultrasound, and take another look at your stomach. That OK?"
"Yeah alright."
Jake sat herself on the bed again, lowered her trousers a little, and lifted up her shirt. Dr. Schneider smiled as she walked up to the bed.
"You know the drill now, I see." She remarked.
Jake smiled ruefully. "Yeah."
A minute later, the doctor was finished. "Nothing." She said, as Jake raised her eyebrows in silent questioning. Dr. Schneider handed Jake 2 pieces of paper.
"The first is the date and time of your blood test. The second is some details about your ultrasound. You'll have to go to the hospital for that, and it could take up to 3 months for that to come through. If you phone me a week after each test, then I'll be happy to give the results over the phone, or we can arrange another appointment if you want me to explain things in person. That all OK?" Jake nodded mutely, feeling shocked by all the sudden concern. She took the papers and walked out of the room.
Looking at the first sheet, she saw that her blood test was scheduled tomorrow morning, when she was supposed to be having crew practice. Damn it! Now she'd have to tell Hamilton. And get Bella to drive her again. Jake hated to be a burden to her friend, but she really couldn't face having to drive her bike all the way to the surgery. She and Bella had chosen one 20 miles beyond Carson, to prevent anyone recognising her in "girl" mode. She sighed as she made her way back to Bella, a single tear working its way down her face.
Hamilton was in the common room, playing a computer game with Scout.
"Jake!" he said when he saw her, "Come play with us!"
Jake shook her head, and crouched by the sofa where he was sitting.
"Not now, maybe later. I really gotta talk to you, can we go up to my room?"
Hamilton took his eyes off the screen for a second. He could see his girlfriend was upset about something, and he knew he had to go. Putting his hand lightly on her shoulder, he turned to Scout, who was engrossed in the game.
"Scout, man, I'm gonna go talk to Jake. I'll play with you later."
"Sure dude, whatever." Scouts' attention barely flickered as he continued pressing buttons furiously on his console.
Jake and Hammie made their way up the stairs to Jake's' room. Once inside, she locked the door and walked over to the bed. Kneeling upon the duvet, she motioned for Hamilton to come and sit next to her.
"Hamilton, I've got something to tell you."
He'd been very understanding. For a teenage boy, she knew he was more sensitive than most, but he'd been great. He'd even offered to cover for Jake the following day when she had to miss crew to go for her blood test.
Jake turned over in her bed. It was late at night, but she couldn't sleep. She'd fallen asleep in Hamilton's' arms earlier, after crying a little bit, and now she was wide-awake.
As she thought back to earlier that day, tears began sliding down her cheeks pale again. She'd told hammie all she could, but she'd omitted the most important detail, according to her anyway.
"Oh Hamilton!" she sobbed, turning over again under her coverlet. "All I want to do is have a family. I know I seem all career-orientated and everything, but that's not what I'm really interested in. If I have a good job and salary, that'll only be because I had to get a good job to pay the rent and buy food, and I just happened to get promoted. It's not what I really want in life at all!!!" getting up and walking over to her window, she noticed lightning flashing in the distance. Her tears blurred the eerie sight, and she shivered as a cold wind sneaked in through the open top window and blew round her thin cotton pyjamas.
"Oh, Hamilton!" she sobbed again, sinking to her knees, "I'm scared." Jake grabbed the curtain, now blowing loosely away from the rail, and, burying her face in it, dipped into a fitful slumber, still kneeling on the cold wooden floor.
The blood test had come back clear. Jake was confused. All that was left was the ultrasound. Dr. Schneider had said the scan was to see if she had "poly-cystic ovaries", some condition that would make her have irregular periods. The scan hadn't come through yet, and every day Jake would check the mail for the Boys' and Girls' Academies, just in case.
Hamilton and Bella were being very supportive, Hamilton especially. He couldn't really be affectionate to her in public, but just a touch on the shoulder, a squeeze of her hand as she walked past, that would let her know he was still there, and he was thinking of her. He'd got past Finn on that day she'd missed crew to go for her appointment, though she had no idea how and he wouldn't tell her. She was just thankful that he had, and that Finn wasn't bothering her about it.
Jake still hadn't told her mother about any of this, even though Bella, Hamilton and Dr. Schneider had tried to convince her otherwise. Every time she psyched herself up to tell Monica, the conversation would be cut short by Monica having to go on stage, or go to an interview, or talk to her agent, or something, and Jake became increasingly annoyed by the lack of insight her mother was showing into her situation.
On November 27th, Jake received 2 letters in the mail. The first was a letter from her mother, informing her that she really was sorry for not being able to make Thanksgiving, and that she'd try to come visit for Christmas. Jake tore up the letter in disgust - she knew her mum would never make it. Hamilton saw her looking upset, and opened the second letter for her, with her permission, while they were eating breakfast. The couple were holding hands under the table, and Hamilton kept reassuringly squeezing Jake's' hand, letting her know that he still loved her and he'd always be there for her, even when her mother couldn't. He opened the letter and handed it silently to Jake.
"Dear Miss Pratt," it read, "your appointment for an ultrasound has come through, and is scheduled for Monday December 4th at 11:45am, in Room 276 of New Rawley Hospital. Please arrive approximately 15 minutes beforehand. This ultrasound is for the lower abdomen. In order for the scan to be successful, you will need to drink at least 2 litres (12 cups) of liquid - tea, coffee or water, not alcohol or juice - before arriving. If you have not adequately filled your bladder, then you may have to wait for up to 2 hours until you have drunk enough at the hospital. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me at the hospital. Dr. Rob Atkins."
Jake took a deep breath after reading it, and smiled bravely - more bravely than she felt. "Six days, that's not so long. At least I won't have to wait weeks, not such a long time to worry about it." Hamilton squeezed her hand reassuringly under the table.
"It'll be OK boy, I know it will. Do you want me to take you? It'll get me out of physics!" he said, grinning. Jake smiled back, knowing how much he hated physics, but shook her head.
"No thanks. Bella's taking me; I really think I'll need a girl there. Sorry babe, it's nothing against you, just the way I feel. I promise I'll tell you about it as soon as I get back." Giving his hand one last squeeze, she stood up. Taking her mail with her, she made her way out of the dining room and went to her bike, ready to drive to Bellas' house to tell her the date of her scan.
"Are we nearly there yet?!?!" Jake asked impatiently, jiggling a little in the truck, "I'm dying for a pee!!!"
Bella laughed. "Sorry babe, you've got another 10 minutes or so before we get there. I'm going as fast as I can, but I don't wanna break the speed limit!"
Jake shook her head distractedly. "Yeah, whatever. " She muttered, crossing her hands over her (full) stomach. After 14 glasses of water and a coke, she was full to bursting.
"I swear I just heard myself slosh!" she exclaimed to Bella, who grinned as she manoeuvred the truck whilst the pale sun climbed high in the wintry sky.
Jake had been sitting in the little room for at least 20 minutes. She was still desperate for the toilet, and this Dr. Atkins showed no sign of appearing.
As she was thinking that, a knock sounded at the door and a man entered. Tall and old, with a salt-and-pepper beard, he looked very much like the "Rob" it said on his nametag.
"Hello Jacqueline, I'm Dr. Rob Atkins and I'll be performing your ultrasound this morning. Now, have you drunk a lot?"
Jake nodded nervously. "Yeah.in fact I'm desperate for a pee!"
"Well I hate to say it, but that's good!" Dr. Atkins grinned at her. "Now, I want you to just lie down on this bed for me, and lower your trousers a bit. There, that's right." He handed her some green paper towels. "Now I want you to tuck these into your knickers - they're just to stop the gel getting onto your clothes."
The doctor turned round to the machine on his left, and picked up a bottle and what looked like a white microphone, turning the lights off in the room with his other hand.
"Now, I'm going to put some jelly on your stomach, and it'll probably feel very cold - I'm sorry about that." He said, turning back to Jake. She nodded.
As he squeezed the gel onto her stomach, Jake started - it was so cold! Dr. Atkins spread the gel around with the microphone thing and then began to press, quite hard, on her left side, just below her hip. As Jake shifted slightly, he warned,
"Don't move too much, else I can't see properly." Again, Jake nodded as he moved the white object onto her other side and repeated the process, staring intently at the screen.
"Well I think that's it." The doctor reached over and switched the lights back on, then grabbed some more of the paper towels and handed them to Jake. As she cleaned herself off and sat up, he was tapping away on the keyboard of the machine.
Dr. Atkins turned to Jake. "Jacqueline, I'm afraid this scan is conclusive - you definitely have poly-cystic ovaries."
Jake sat on the edge of the bed, in shock. Had he really just said that? But, did that not mean that she could never have kids? Before she had time to voice her concerns, the doctor continued.
"Now, I know you are only 15, but I'm going to give you a prescription for the contraceptive Pill. It's unusual for girls of your age to have to take this, but there is no treatment for this condition, only preventatives. The Pill will give you regular periods, and will also stop you getting pregnant if you have sex. If you feel you want to start a family in later life, then you can talk to your own GP about ways of doing that. Now, do you have any questions?" Jake, still feeling numb, shook her head.
She stood up, grabbed her jacket and the prescription Dr. Atkins was offering, then very slowly walked out of the room.
As she approached the waiting room, she knew she was going to have to tell Bella straight away. Bella, however, could see it on her friends' face as she walked round the corner.
"Jake!" she cried, getting out of her chair and running over to hug Jake. Jake just stood there, and then very carefully wrapped her arms around Bella, hugging her back.
"I. we. " She tried again, clearing her throat. "I need to go to the nearest pharmacy - I think we passed a drugstore about 10 miles down the road. I need to go get my prescription.
Bella nodded silently, then led Jake to the truck, holding her hand all the way.
Bella went in to get the prescription, leaving Jake in the truck. A few minutes later she was back, holding a large orange bag.
"The prescription was for 6 months worth, so you won't need to go back for a while. The pharmacist said you need to take the green ones before you go to bed, the orange ones first thing in the morning, and the white ones 2 hours after your lunch, all of them with water. Oh, and you can't forget, else they won't work." Bella drove off, putting the bag on Jake's' lap as she stared out of the window.
The drive back to the school was long and silent. Jake rested her head on her hands, and sat, contemplating her future, while Bella drove along the empty roads.
"Thanks Bella, for everything." Jake said awkwardly as she clambered out of the truck, clutching her jacket and the bright orange bag.
"No problem, girl, I'm always here if you need me." she smiled gently, then drove off as Jake started down the path to the dorms.
Once inside the building, she went to her room and locked the door behind her. Going over to the small sink that was by her bed, she splashed the refreshingly cool water on her face, and then rinsed her mouth. As she dried her face with the small hand towel she kept on the washstand, she glanced into the mirror and stared hard at the boy that looked back.
Though she did say so herself, she did make a good boy - and actor. And she was an even better girl. This slight setback of her plans was minor - she was Jacqueline Pratt, she could beat anything Life cared to throw in her way.
"I'm Jacqueline Pratt." She whispered to her reflection. "I'm Jacqueline Pratt, and I can beat anything!" louder this time, and with more conviction.
Reaching over to her bed, she ripped open the hideous orange bag and pulled out the white pills. Checking her watch - yes, it was about 2 hours after her lunch - she popped out a pill and filled a glass of water from the tap.
"I'm Jacqueline Pratt." She said again, softly, as she swallowed the water and tablet in one bitter gulp.
Four months later, Jake was used to her daily routine. She took her pill at night and each morning. In the middle of her fourth lesson, she claimed she'd forgotten something important, and rushed up to her room to take her next tablet. Soon the teachers became accustomed to these daily antics, and no longer questioned her.
Hamilton had been great. He'd remembered for her, at the beginning, when she wasn't used to taking the drugs. At first they'd made her feel sick, and he'd been there with her, holding her hand as she was confined to bed with terrible stomach cramps, or stroking her hair as she threw up in the toilets. All these things constantly reminded her of how much she loved him.
In fact, she'd loved him so much that they'd eventually slept together, just after Christmas. It had been perfect - and still was, as they now shared a dorm room. Hamilton had, once again, convinced the Dean to let him move out of home, and Jake was more than willing to share her room with him. They now lived together in relative harmony, and as Jake watched the season change again, she thought of how happy she was. Life was perfect at that moment, and she, like Hamilton, wanted it to stay like that forever.
"Damn it!" Jake exclaimed, on a Friday early in June, as she rummaged through the drawers in her room. "Where the hell are they?!?!"
"Hey boy." A voice breathed in her ear, and she turned to see Hamilton standing there.
"Hey boy." she said, equally softly. Taking his arms and wrapping them round her, she asked, "Have you seen my Pills? I need to take one, like, now, and I can't find them in my drawers."
"Nope, sorry gorgeous, haven't seen 'em since. yesterday." But don't worry about it, I'm sure they'll show up. Now come to bed." He pulled away from her, and raised an eyebrow suggestively. "I'm hungry!"
Jake sighed. "I can't, Hammie, not tonight. I haven't taken my Pill, and I know you didn't buy any condoms because there are none in your drawer - I looked there just in case." She added as he raised the other eyebrow questioningly. "I'm gonna go drive down to the drugstore now. My prescription's in my bag, so I'll be right back. Don't wait up." She kissed him lightly on the lips.
To her surprise, he drew her towards him, deepening the kiss. She struggled against him for a second, then let herself go limp in his arms, surrendering to him.
"I love you." He whispered in her ear, removing his mouth from hers for just a second. She looked into his eyes as he walked backwards towards his bed, holding her fingertips. She knew she'd probably regret this later, because she wasn't going to get to the drugstore until at least Saturday afternoon, and she wasn't sure she could afford to wait.
As Hamilton began removing her clothes, she decided it wasn't too important. She could always go into Carson tomorrow. She sighed, and succumbed to the pleasure of making love to Hamilton Fleming.
Author: Toria (
Email: lambertuglie@yahoo.co.uk
Rating: I'm English so I don't actually know - I'll go for PG-13
because of subject matter (and possibly some swearing)
Category: Jake/Hamilton
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, they're nothing to do with me (
Summary: Jake discovers she has an illness that'll prevent her from
getting pregnant, then does so anyway!
Thanks: Thanx to Sarah, my muse, without whom all writing is futile.
A/N: As a 15-year-old single mother, I know how teenage pregnancies aren't great. However, I have an illness that means I'm not supposed to be able to get pregnant, so discovering my pregnancy was fantastic for me, as I want to have a really big family. In this story, Jake goes through exactly what happened to me when I had Aeryn, my deaf baby (who is now 15 months old). In this story, Finn didn't see anything in the shower (if it happened before, I haven't decided yet) and still thinks Jake is a normal teenage boy. Oh, and let's pretend that Ryder doesn't exist.
IN THE BEGINNING
Jake sat in the empty English classroom, idly doodling on her Planner. Thursday, June 16th. She smiled, drawing little smiley faces and love hearts with "I love Hamilton" written in them.
Suddenly, she frowned. June? When did that happen? Flipping back through the weekly pages of the organiser, she found the green squares marking when she'd had her last period. December. That was. she counted on her fingers. 6 months ago. But, that couldn't be right. She counted again. Nope, six was right. Half a year!
Jake knew something was wrong with her. In February, when she'd realised it'd been 2 months, she'd merely dismissed it as normal irregularities. She'd read all the books by the time she was 10, and they'd all said that periods could be irregular for the first few years. Jake had her first menstruation just 4 days before her 13th birthday. Since then she'd been a little irregular, often skipping a few months before having a 3-month or so cycle.
But 6 months. She'd never gone that long before with no bleeding. Jake sighed. She knew she had to go to the doctors, just in case there was a big problem. She knew she definitely wasn't pregnant, she and Hamilton had never. well, they both felt they just weren't ready to have sex, and now Jake was glad. She could definitely discount pregnancy from the reasons why her periods had stopped.
Sighing again, she picked up her phone and dialled a number. After a few rings, it was picked up. Taking a deep breath, Jake said, "Hi, please may I speak to Bella?"
Sitting in the waiting room of the doctor surgery, Jake couldn't keep still. Her toes were tapping, and she kept twisting the sides of her skirt with her long, slender hands. Bella took her hand and squeezed it gently.
"It'll be OK, I know it will." She said to her. Jake smiled nervously.
The message board above their heads buzzed, and they both looked up. Large red letters flashed across the screen - Jacqueline Pratt, Dr. Schneider, Room 12.
"Do you want me to go in with you?" Bella asked anxiously.
Jake shook her head. "No, I'll be OK. Just wait here for me." Bella nodded and smiled, squeezing Jake's' hand again as she stood up and began walking down the white corridor.
"Come in!" a sickeningly cheery voice responded to Jake's' knock. As she opened the door, she was surprised to see a petite young blonde girl sitting behind the desk, writing.
"Hello, you must Jacqueline. I'm Dr. Kathryn Schneider. Please have a seat, and I'll be with you in a moment.
Jake nodded, and sat down on the straight-backed brown chair in front of the desk.
Two minutes later, Dr. Schneider put down her pen and turned to Jake. "Now Miss Pratt, what can I do for you?"
"Well.I.my periods have stopped."
Dr. Schneider smiled. "Right. When did you have your first period?"
"Right before I was 13."
"And have they been regular since then?"
"Not really. I'm normally regular for 3 or 4 months, then I have a 2 or 3-month gap. Only it's been 6 months now, and I've never gone that long before. It's so embarrassing."
Again, Dr. Schneider smiled. "Don't worry, Jacqueline, it's normal to be regular for up to 3 years. But you're right, 6 months is a long time. However, I'm not too worried if you're not regular yet. I'll bet it's just a slightly longer gap than normal, and you'll have your next monthly real soon."
Jake heaved a sigh of relief. "You think so?" she asked hopefully.
"Yup. But just to be on the safe side, I'm just gonna have a quick feel of your stomach, just to check you've got no blockage or anything. That OK?"
"Umm.sure."
"Great. Then just go sit on that bed for me. I'll go put some gloves on and I'll be right with you." Dr. Schneider walked out of the room.
Jake perched herself on the table and looked around nervously. The doctor was getting her a little worried now. As Dr. Schneider walked back in, she smiled at Jake.
"You'll have to lie down, and lift your top up a little. It's very pretty by the way, that colour really suits you."
Jake looked up, astonished. Dr. Schneider smiled again.
"What? Just because I'm a doctor doesn't mean I have no concept of fashion. I'm only 6 years older than you, Jacqueline. Now, could you just pull your skirt down a tiny bit? I'll need to see your lower abdomen."
Jake pulled down her flowery skirt a little, feeling incredibly self- conscious. It was so embarrassing!!! As the doctor pressed on her stomach, she thought of Hamilton. She was gonna have to tell him where she'd been - no doubt he'd be worrying already.
She suddenly realised that Dr. Schneider wasn't feeling her stomach anymore, and that she'd been daydreaming.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
"I'm sorry, I was thinking. So. did you feel anything or. anything?" Jake asked, sitting up and pulling her top back down.
"Nope. Your completely normal, from the outside anyway." Dr. Schneider replied, winking at Jake. "Before you go, Jacqueline, I just want to ask, is there any history of infertility in your family, or any problems any relatives of yours experienced during puberty?"
Jake thought before shaking her head. "Not that I know of, and.I don't really wanna ask.you know how it is. " She squirmed at the embarrassment of the situation.
"That's OK. Now, if you haven't had another period by October, could you come back and see me again? It's just routine." She added, as Jake looked alarmed again.
"Sure. Thank you Dr. Schneider."
"That's no problem, Jacqueline, I'm here to make you feel better." She smiled as Jake walked out the room.
Once in the corridor, Jake heaved a sigh of relief. She was just normal, it was OK, just normal teenager stuff. She smiled as she walked along back to the waiting where Bella was sitting.
Bella was, of course, happy that her friend was all right. They had a close relationship even though they were a world apart, with Jake in her posh private school and Bella just a "townie".
The summer dragged on, and Jake never told Hamilton about where she'd gone that afternoon. He'd asked a few times, but she couldn't bring herself to tell him. It was just too embarrassing.
After a couple of weeks he'd stopped asking, but she knew she'd hurt him by keeping it from him. They were still together though, and happy. Jake knew she'd tell him soon enough, she was "just looking for the right moment", as she'd told Bella when Bella reprimanded her for not telling him.
It was just the right moment hadn't arrived yet.
The right moment hadn't arrived in August, or September. Before Jake knew it, October had arrived, and she really wasn't ready for it.
She still hadn't had another period, and knew she had to go to the doctors again. She finally mustered up the courage to go on October 17th. Once again Bella accompanied her, and once again she didn't tell Hamilton. She would when she got back, she promised herself.
It was the same dismal waiting room, the same receptionist who took Jake's' name and asked her to wait. The same screen flashed her name, and she walked down the same white corridor to Room 113, where Dr. Schneider was waiting.
"Jacqueline! I didn't expect to see you here again!" she exclaimed, smiling, when Jake entered the room.
"Well, I wasn't really expecting. or wanting. to be here. I haven't had another period. Do you think there's something wrong with me?"
Dr. Schneider turned serious. "I'm not sure, Jacqueline. I'm going to book you in for a blood test, just to check your hormones are OK and your thyroid gland isn't playing up. Tell me, have you noticed your neck swelling, getting larger or sore, anything like that?"
Jake shook her head. "Nope, nothing like that."
"Well that's fine, I'm sure it'll be OK then. I'm also to get you an appointment to have an ultrasound, and take another look at your stomach. That OK?"
"Yeah alright."
Jake sat herself on the bed again, lowered her trousers a little, and lifted up her shirt. Dr. Schneider smiled as she walked up to the bed.
"You know the drill now, I see." She remarked.
Jake smiled ruefully. "Yeah."
A minute later, the doctor was finished. "Nothing." She said, as Jake raised her eyebrows in silent questioning. Dr. Schneider handed Jake 2 pieces of paper.
"The first is the date and time of your blood test. The second is some details about your ultrasound. You'll have to go to the hospital for that, and it could take up to 3 months for that to come through. If you phone me a week after each test, then I'll be happy to give the results over the phone, or we can arrange another appointment if you want me to explain things in person. That all OK?" Jake nodded mutely, feeling shocked by all the sudden concern. She took the papers and walked out of the room.
Looking at the first sheet, she saw that her blood test was scheduled tomorrow morning, when she was supposed to be having crew practice. Damn it! Now she'd have to tell Hamilton. And get Bella to drive her again. Jake hated to be a burden to her friend, but she really couldn't face having to drive her bike all the way to the surgery. She and Bella had chosen one 20 miles beyond Carson, to prevent anyone recognising her in "girl" mode. She sighed as she made her way back to Bella, a single tear working its way down her face.
Hamilton was in the common room, playing a computer game with Scout.
"Jake!" he said when he saw her, "Come play with us!"
Jake shook her head, and crouched by the sofa where he was sitting.
"Not now, maybe later. I really gotta talk to you, can we go up to my room?"
Hamilton took his eyes off the screen for a second. He could see his girlfriend was upset about something, and he knew he had to go. Putting his hand lightly on her shoulder, he turned to Scout, who was engrossed in the game.
"Scout, man, I'm gonna go talk to Jake. I'll play with you later."
"Sure dude, whatever." Scouts' attention barely flickered as he continued pressing buttons furiously on his console.
Jake and Hammie made their way up the stairs to Jake's' room. Once inside, she locked the door and walked over to the bed. Kneeling upon the duvet, she motioned for Hamilton to come and sit next to her.
"Hamilton, I've got something to tell you."
He'd been very understanding. For a teenage boy, she knew he was more sensitive than most, but he'd been great. He'd even offered to cover for Jake the following day when she had to miss crew to go for her blood test.
Jake turned over in her bed. It was late at night, but she couldn't sleep. She'd fallen asleep in Hamilton's' arms earlier, after crying a little bit, and now she was wide-awake.
As she thought back to earlier that day, tears began sliding down her cheeks pale again. She'd told hammie all she could, but she'd omitted the most important detail, according to her anyway.
"Oh Hamilton!" she sobbed, turning over again under her coverlet. "All I want to do is have a family. I know I seem all career-orientated and everything, but that's not what I'm really interested in. If I have a good job and salary, that'll only be because I had to get a good job to pay the rent and buy food, and I just happened to get promoted. It's not what I really want in life at all!!!" getting up and walking over to her window, she noticed lightning flashing in the distance. Her tears blurred the eerie sight, and she shivered as a cold wind sneaked in through the open top window and blew round her thin cotton pyjamas.
"Oh, Hamilton!" she sobbed again, sinking to her knees, "I'm scared." Jake grabbed the curtain, now blowing loosely away from the rail, and, burying her face in it, dipped into a fitful slumber, still kneeling on the cold wooden floor.
The blood test had come back clear. Jake was confused. All that was left was the ultrasound. Dr. Schneider had said the scan was to see if she had "poly-cystic ovaries", some condition that would make her have irregular periods. The scan hadn't come through yet, and every day Jake would check the mail for the Boys' and Girls' Academies, just in case.
Hamilton and Bella were being very supportive, Hamilton especially. He couldn't really be affectionate to her in public, but just a touch on the shoulder, a squeeze of her hand as she walked past, that would let her know he was still there, and he was thinking of her. He'd got past Finn on that day she'd missed crew to go for her appointment, though she had no idea how and he wouldn't tell her. She was just thankful that he had, and that Finn wasn't bothering her about it.
Jake still hadn't told her mother about any of this, even though Bella, Hamilton and Dr. Schneider had tried to convince her otherwise. Every time she psyched herself up to tell Monica, the conversation would be cut short by Monica having to go on stage, or go to an interview, or talk to her agent, or something, and Jake became increasingly annoyed by the lack of insight her mother was showing into her situation.
On November 27th, Jake received 2 letters in the mail. The first was a letter from her mother, informing her that she really was sorry for not being able to make Thanksgiving, and that she'd try to come visit for Christmas. Jake tore up the letter in disgust - she knew her mum would never make it. Hamilton saw her looking upset, and opened the second letter for her, with her permission, while they were eating breakfast. The couple were holding hands under the table, and Hamilton kept reassuringly squeezing Jake's' hand, letting her know that he still loved her and he'd always be there for her, even when her mother couldn't. He opened the letter and handed it silently to Jake.
"Dear Miss Pratt," it read, "your appointment for an ultrasound has come through, and is scheduled for Monday December 4th at 11:45am, in Room 276 of New Rawley Hospital. Please arrive approximately 15 minutes beforehand. This ultrasound is for the lower abdomen. In order for the scan to be successful, you will need to drink at least 2 litres (12 cups) of liquid - tea, coffee or water, not alcohol or juice - before arriving. If you have not adequately filled your bladder, then you may have to wait for up to 2 hours until you have drunk enough at the hospital. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me at the hospital. Dr. Rob Atkins."
Jake took a deep breath after reading it, and smiled bravely - more bravely than she felt. "Six days, that's not so long. At least I won't have to wait weeks, not such a long time to worry about it." Hamilton squeezed her hand reassuringly under the table.
"It'll be OK boy, I know it will. Do you want me to take you? It'll get me out of physics!" he said, grinning. Jake smiled back, knowing how much he hated physics, but shook her head.
"No thanks. Bella's taking me; I really think I'll need a girl there. Sorry babe, it's nothing against you, just the way I feel. I promise I'll tell you about it as soon as I get back." Giving his hand one last squeeze, she stood up. Taking her mail with her, she made her way out of the dining room and went to her bike, ready to drive to Bellas' house to tell her the date of her scan.
"Are we nearly there yet?!?!" Jake asked impatiently, jiggling a little in the truck, "I'm dying for a pee!!!"
Bella laughed. "Sorry babe, you've got another 10 minutes or so before we get there. I'm going as fast as I can, but I don't wanna break the speed limit!"
Jake shook her head distractedly. "Yeah, whatever. " She muttered, crossing her hands over her (full) stomach. After 14 glasses of water and a coke, she was full to bursting.
"I swear I just heard myself slosh!" she exclaimed to Bella, who grinned as she manoeuvred the truck whilst the pale sun climbed high in the wintry sky.
Jake had been sitting in the little room for at least 20 minutes. She was still desperate for the toilet, and this Dr. Atkins showed no sign of appearing.
As she was thinking that, a knock sounded at the door and a man entered. Tall and old, with a salt-and-pepper beard, he looked very much like the "Rob" it said on his nametag.
"Hello Jacqueline, I'm Dr. Rob Atkins and I'll be performing your ultrasound this morning. Now, have you drunk a lot?"
Jake nodded nervously. "Yeah.in fact I'm desperate for a pee!"
"Well I hate to say it, but that's good!" Dr. Atkins grinned at her. "Now, I want you to just lie down on this bed for me, and lower your trousers a bit. There, that's right." He handed her some green paper towels. "Now I want you to tuck these into your knickers - they're just to stop the gel getting onto your clothes."
The doctor turned round to the machine on his left, and picked up a bottle and what looked like a white microphone, turning the lights off in the room with his other hand.
"Now, I'm going to put some jelly on your stomach, and it'll probably feel very cold - I'm sorry about that." He said, turning back to Jake. She nodded.
As he squeezed the gel onto her stomach, Jake started - it was so cold! Dr. Atkins spread the gel around with the microphone thing and then began to press, quite hard, on her left side, just below her hip. As Jake shifted slightly, he warned,
"Don't move too much, else I can't see properly." Again, Jake nodded as he moved the white object onto her other side and repeated the process, staring intently at the screen.
"Well I think that's it." The doctor reached over and switched the lights back on, then grabbed some more of the paper towels and handed them to Jake. As she cleaned herself off and sat up, he was tapping away on the keyboard of the machine.
Dr. Atkins turned to Jake. "Jacqueline, I'm afraid this scan is conclusive - you definitely have poly-cystic ovaries."
Jake sat on the edge of the bed, in shock. Had he really just said that? But, did that not mean that she could never have kids? Before she had time to voice her concerns, the doctor continued.
"Now, I know you are only 15, but I'm going to give you a prescription for the contraceptive Pill. It's unusual for girls of your age to have to take this, but there is no treatment for this condition, only preventatives. The Pill will give you regular periods, and will also stop you getting pregnant if you have sex. If you feel you want to start a family in later life, then you can talk to your own GP about ways of doing that. Now, do you have any questions?" Jake, still feeling numb, shook her head.
She stood up, grabbed her jacket and the prescription Dr. Atkins was offering, then very slowly walked out of the room.
As she approached the waiting room, she knew she was going to have to tell Bella straight away. Bella, however, could see it on her friends' face as she walked round the corner.
"Jake!" she cried, getting out of her chair and running over to hug Jake. Jake just stood there, and then very carefully wrapped her arms around Bella, hugging her back.
"I. we. " She tried again, clearing her throat. "I need to go to the nearest pharmacy - I think we passed a drugstore about 10 miles down the road. I need to go get my prescription.
Bella nodded silently, then led Jake to the truck, holding her hand all the way.
Bella went in to get the prescription, leaving Jake in the truck. A few minutes later she was back, holding a large orange bag.
"The prescription was for 6 months worth, so you won't need to go back for a while. The pharmacist said you need to take the green ones before you go to bed, the orange ones first thing in the morning, and the white ones 2 hours after your lunch, all of them with water. Oh, and you can't forget, else they won't work." Bella drove off, putting the bag on Jake's' lap as she stared out of the window.
The drive back to the school was long and silent. Jake rested her head on her hands, and sat, contemplating her future, while Bella drove along the empty roads.
"Thanks Bella, for everything." Jake said awkwardly as she clambered out of the truck, clutching her jacket and the bright orange bag.
"No problem, girl, I'm always here if you need me." she smiled gently, then drove off as Jake started down the path to the dorms.
Once inside the building, she went to her room and locked the door behind her. Going over to the small sink that was by her bed, she splashed the refreshingly cool water on her face, and then rinsed her mouth. As she dried her face with the small hand towel she kept on the washstand, she glanced into the mirror and stared hard at the boy that looked back.
Though she did say so herself, she did make a good boy - and actor. And she was an even better girl. This slight setback of her plans was minor - she was Jacqueline Pratt, she could beat anything Life cared to throw in her way.
"I'm Jacqueline Pratt." She whispered to her reflection. "I'm Jacqueline Pratt, and I can beat anything!" louder this time, and with more conviction.
Reaching over to her bed, she ripped open the hideous orange bag and pulled out the white pills. Checking her watch - yes, it was about 2 hours after her lunch - she popped out a pill and filled a glass of water from the tap.
"I'm Jacqueline Pratt." She said again, softly, as she swallowed the water and tablet in one bitter gulp.
Four months later, Jake was used to her daily routine. She took her pill at night and each morning. In the middle of her fourth lesson, she claimed she'd forgotten something important, and rushed up to her room to take her next tablet. Soon the teachers became accustomed to these daily antics, and no longer questioned her.
Hamilton had been great. He'd remembered for her, at the beginning, when she wasn't used to taking the drugs. At first they'd made her feel sick, and he'd been there with her, holding her hand as she was confined to bed with terrible stomach cramps, or stroking her hair as she threw up in the toilets. All these things constantly reminded her of how much she loved him.
In fact, she'd loved him so much that they'd eventually slept together, just after Christmas. It had been perfect - and still was, as they now shared a dorm room. Hamilton had, once again, convinced the Dean to let him move out of home, and Jake was more than willing to share her room with him. They now lived together in relative harmony, and as Jake watched the season change again, she thought of how happy she was. Life was perfect at that moment, and she, like Hamilton, wanted it to stay like that forever.
"Damn it!" Jake exclaimed, on a Friday early in June, as she rummaged through the drawers in her room. "Where the hell are they?!?!"
"Hey boy." A voice breathed in her ear, and she turned to see Hamilton standing there.
"Hey boy." she said, equally softly. Taking his arms and wrapping them round her, she asked, "Have you seen my Pills? I need to take one, like, now, and I can't find them in my drawers."
"Nope, sorry gorgeous, haven't seen 'em since. yesterday." But don't worry about it, I'm sure they'll show up. Now come to bed." He pulled away from her, and raised an eyebrow suggestively. "I'm hungry!"
Jake sighed. "I can't, Hammie, not tonight. I haven't taken my Pill, and I know you didn't buy any condoms because there are none in your drawer - I looked there just in case." She added as he raised the other eyebrow questioningly. "I'm gonna go drive down to the drugstore now. My prescription's in my bag, so I'll be right back. Don't wait up." She kissed him lightly on the lips.
To her surprise, he drew her towards him, deepening the kiss. She struggled against him for a second, then let herself go limp in his arms, surrendering to him.
"I love you." He whispered in her ear, removing his mouth from hers for just a second. She looked into his eyes as he walked backwards towards his bed, holding her fingertips. She knew she'd probably regret this later, because she wasn't going to get to the drugstore until at least Saturday afternoon, and she wasn't sure she could afford to wait.
As Hamilton began removing her clothes, she decided it wasn't too important. She could always go into Carson tomorrow. She sighed, and succumbed to the pleasure of making love to Hamilton Fleming.