Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
What Is and What Should Never Be
"I don't see what this has to do with my training," said Naruto, deadpanned. The squishy couch he was sitting on was beginning to annoy him in its overt squishiness. This guy was getting on his nerves, and how dare the couch be so… squishy?
"Hm. Considering you're trying to learn the curse-mark purification jutsu, and your learning it has been approved by the Hokage, this has everything to do with it. Anyone who wants to learn this jutsu needs to go through at least a month of therapy before they can achieve the first stages of it," replied the man sitting in the chair across from him. With his glasses, peppered hair, and neutral aura, he seemed at home in the warm, wood-paneled office. He spoke in a tone that said to Naruto alternately "harmless," "nosy," and "threatening." At the moment the man was being a strange mixture of all three.
"Ah…" replied Naruto, perplexed. "Don't you have some sort of, um, physical thing I can do?"
"What did you have in mind?"
"I don't know, like throwing kunai knives in a super special array or jogging like fifty miles nonstop?" Naruto's voice rose in volume, getting himself pumped up for the thought of it. That was the stuff he could do.
"I'm afraid this doesn't work like that, Naruto. This is purely an internal thing. For this jutsu, you need to be able to let go of some things, and learn to accept others. In spite of the field training your teachers have been giving you, you can't make any progress until you work through some of the things that are keeping you from performing this jutsu. You know all the technical things like hand-signs and such, but what is missing is the state of mind. So, what we are going to be doing here is helping you to get to that state of mind in which you can perform it."
"Ok, then. Let's do it," said Naruto, like this was the simplest thing in the world. If you are going to do something, then do it. No need for beating around the bush; what a waste of time that could be.
The therapist smiled gently.
"Well, that's the thing. Let me put this a bit more simply. The jutsu will only work if you can learn to let go of the ultimate reasons you're learning it. And I can't help you let go of those things until we talk about them. Hence, the minimum daily therapy sessions for a month…" As he spoke, Naruto's face got blanker and blanker, and the therapist's voice trailed off.
"So… Let me get this straight," said Naruto in a disbelieving monotone, "In order to be able to do this jutsu, I have to forget why I'm learning the jutsu in the first place? And I have to come to therapy for who knows how long until I get it right? Is that what you're telling me?"
"Uh, yes, in the simplest terms, that's basically it. It's a bit more complicated than it sounds, though…"
"What kind of freaking crap is this?!" Screamed Naruto, standing with his foot up on the coffee table and his finger pointed over it into the therapist's face. "How does Kakashi-sensei or Pervy-sage expect me to learn anything if I'm not supposed to learn anything in order to learn something?"
"I wouldn't exactly put it—"
"Gah, it's making my head hurt!"
"Hm. Maybe it you would sit down we could start to make some sense of this for you," said the therapist, unruffled by Naruto's outburst.
"Yes, thank you," he sighed out, relieved.
"Now, let me explain something. I need you to forget about this being training while you're here." Naruto opened his mouth to protest, but the therapist held his hand up, silencing the young ninja. "The reason for this is, you are here for talking. Apparently there are some things you need to work through before you can learn the purification jutsu. Now, that can be anything from past abuse to unresolved sexual orientation," the therapist paused and Naruto took a big swallow. His face spoke volumes: motherfucker god dammit shit shit shit, for example. "Now, both of those tend to take longer to deal with than a mere month, but since you've clearly expressed how important this is to you, are you prepared to see this through as long as it takes?"
Naruto sat, hesitating, nervous, apprehensive. Did they have to talk about everything? But he needed this. He absolutely needed this. There was no dispute about that. So maybe it wouldn't be so bad, anyway. All they had to do was talk, and Naruto had never really had any troubles with that.
"We just… Talk, right?" He asked, tense.
"Yep," soothed the therapist. "For the most part, yes."
The genuine smile did little to assuage his fears.
He and Sasuke were training. It had begun as a simple sparring match gotten out of hand. And instead of the usual hurried intervention by either Sakura or Kakashi-sensei because of the inevitable damage to the surrounding area, it had degenerated into… this.
Sasuke dodged a punch, turned to parry, and got a hit – Naruto's fist squarely on his jaw. Naruto stepped back, grinning sheepishly, ready to stop now, but the wind gushed out of him in a spluttered cough. Sasuke had tackled him to the ground, and they fell in a hopeless tangle of limbs. Both struggled to aim a hit, but finding no purchase in the humid heat as their arms and legs slid against each other unsatisfactorily, they simply rolled and elbowed, kneed and grunted through the grass, clouds of dirt puffing up in their path.
And still they both fought for the win, growling and shoving and then suddenly, they were moving altogether differently than they were before, but no less savagely. The grunts had changed tones, become less fierce and more desperate. Sasuke pushed his hips down on Naruto's, and the two boys groaned at the friction, pausing in the struggle momentarily in the sensation
As if to keep up some pretence of a spar gone awry, Sasuke leaned back, legs on either side of Naruto, and relished for a moment the fact that he had the advantage now, with a devious grin. He pulled his arm back to aim a punch, and Naruto shoved off the ground into Sasuke, reversing them. But Sasuke refused to let this happen, shoving back; they continued to roll and grunt as the rocks and bumps in the field punched at their already tender flesh, neither aware of the pain. Finally, the struggle ended with Sasuke once again triumphant. This time, he held the blonde's hands above his head, and smiled that smile that could only mean evil intent. Naruto swallowed hard.
"Sasuke, you fuckhead, what the hell do you think you're doing? Let me go, you win, I get it! Now fucking let me go!"
Naruto tried to get up again, but was prevented up Sasuke's other arm coming up and blocking off the air in his throat. The raven-haired boy pressed down.
"Naruto…" he whispered in victory. But no, victory shouldn't sound like that, should it?
"Sasuke…" Naruto mouthed, unable to let out any air or to breathe any in. "Sasuke, I can't breathe…"
"The only way to get you to shut up, Dobe…" He panted, semi-apologetic. His hips ground into Naruto's again, in a slow, delicious motion that had Sasuke groaning. Naruto's eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head. He'd never been so hard in his entire life, and if there was any way to keep Sasuke doing that right there, he would do it in a heartbeat.
"Will you behave, Idiot?" He asked, eyes half-lidded.
Naruto nodded, and sweet air came rushing back into his lungs. He gasped and coughed and Sasuke waited, staring down at him. It occurred to Naruto after his hands were released and Sasuke was biting into the juncture between his neck and shoulder, hard, that that particular stare could only ever be seen elsewhere on the face of a wolf or hawk contemplating its next meal.
"Naruto…" whispered Sasuke, as their hips continued to meet in that delicious rhythm.
A thrill rushed through Naruto at the sound of his name rolling from those lips so wantonly, and Naruto reached up to clutch at Sasuke's back, pressing them closer together.
A growl ripped itself through Sasuke's throat, and the rhythm became fast and brutal, and Naruto thrust back mindlessly, out of his control and needy beyond all rational thought.
"Save me, Dobe, god, save me from myself," Sasuke panted in his ear, and Naruto came.
He awoke with dirty sheets.
"So, um… I have a question about that dream diary thingy you told me to do. Ummmm…" Naruto laughed nervously, seated on the god damn stupid squishy couch once again. "Do I have to write down ALL of my dreams?" He asked, unable to hold still for some reason.
"Well, obviously, you don't have to if you're uncomfortable with it," replied the therapist. Naruto relaxed and let out a breath in relief. "But," Naruto tensed up again. "I did assign you the dream journal so we had a starting point, and so far all you've talked about in the past two sessions have been ramen and special kinds of shuriken you want to get someday but can't afford yet. I think it's safe to say we haven't made any progress. Maybe if we talk about this dream, we could get you a bit further in your training for the curse-mark purification jutsu."
Naruto was silent, dreading having to talk about his dream, as well as admit the fact that he'd had it in the first place. Wasn't there something twisted about the fact that he liked it when his best friend held him down and practically choked him while they dry-humped each other like animals? What about the fact that Sasuke pleading for Naruto to save him was perhaps the sexiest thing he had ever heard?
"Ummm… It's uh… really embarrassing," he said sheepishly, and squirmed in the therapist's patient silence. "I don't think I want to talk about it," he muttered finally.
"That's alright," smiled the therapist, and opened his mouth to begin another topic.
"I-think-I-have-a-thing-for-guys," Naruto blurted out, interrupting, as if he'd been holding a breath. And after he'd said it, his shoulders slumped and he put his head in his hands.
"Shit, that explains a lot," Naruto groaned, all of a sudden wanting more than anything—and being unable—to cry.
"Well, I think that's a good place to begin," the therapist said gently.
(That's it for now, I guess. That seemed like a good place to cut it off. Let me know if you think I should continue via review. I've already got a bit written ahead of time because somehow the idea of putting Naruto through therapy seemed deliciously sadistic to me. So yeah. Let me know. If there are enough reviews I'll post another chapter.)