Chapter One

Sebastian lay quietly on his bed attempting to get some much needed rest. Unfortunately, this was made impossible by the racket his father was causing with his newest 'girlfriend' just two rooms over. He lived alone with his father and his mother lived in Paris. He had lived with his mother for 2 years and while the food and nightlife was great and he had gotten sick of the way his mother pretended he wasn't even there and her douche boyfriends. It had been the last straw when her newest boyfriend had raped him and his mother had refused to believe him when she told her.

Of course coming back to his father hadn't really helped him much at all. He was still ignored and when he wasn't being completely disregarded he was being beaten by his senselessly drunk father.

Sebastian winced as a thud was heard from his father's room followed by a high pitched airy giggle and deep sexual moan. God, as much as he hated hearing sex through the walls he hoped she stayed all night so there was no chance of him waking up in the middle of the night while drunk and coming in here to hurt him.

He would run away if he thought he could make it but he knew that his father had connections and he wouldn't even make it two towns over before they caught up with him and he wasn't prepared to have to go back to his father's anger after doing something so extreme. He was actually worried we would end up dead in some dark alley way in the bad part of town if that ever happened.

More moans echoed through the house causing Sebastian to let out a soft moan of frustration. The lanky Warbler crossed the room to grab earplugs and his phone. He put the plugs in and turned up the music as loud as he dared if he didn't want anyone else to hear what he was listening to. Even though his father and the woman would never hear over the sounds they were making he didn't want to have a repeat of one time he did hear music coming from Sebastian's room while he was with a new woman and Sebastian had to call in sick for a week afterword because he couldn't even walk let alone dance in Warbler's practice or play lacrosse.

The reason he stayed here instead of going back to France was that his Father was greatly homophobic so there was no chance of him forcing Sebastian into anything sexual and that school was much better here in Ohio.

Dalton was a godsend to many of the boys that went there for its strict no bullying policy and Sebastian was no different. In Paris he had been bullied terribly and even if his mother couldn't care enough about his existence to be mad enough to beat him herself and sometimes her boyfriends weren't half bad and didn't beat him he always got more than enough of that at whatever school he went to.

It made him boil in rage at the treatment that Kurt had gotten after one measly not-even-real death threat. He never had and never would get the support and care that Kurt had after the countless death threats he had received daily and the number of times they had attempted to carry out their plans.

This isn't saying that the people in Paris were homophobic or even that all the kids his age were. It just meant he had the worst of luck in getting into that one school and that his precious mother hadn't cared enough to switch him to a new school- for the two whole years he had lived with her.

This was one of the many reasons that he had taken a particular dislike to Kurt and his face, especially after hearing people talk about how hard it was for him and how they should show him more sympathy. It had disgusted him, though truly it more hurt that no one talked about him like that.

That had why he had thrown the slushy at Kurt in the first place but he had never meant to hurt anyone, not even Kurt really. He had put rock salt in the drink because he thought it would make it stain his clothes better. Someone getting hurt like Blain had was never the plan and he had nearly drowned in guilt at the pain he had unintentionally caused.

His behavior and snarky attitude was most definitely a defense mechanism, even though Sebastian would only admit this to himself and even then only in his head. He had just thought that maybe if he didn't let anyone in it would be harder for people to hurt him.

Of course his brilliant plan had led to no one liking him and having no friends, even among the Warblers. His lack of friends didn't bother him at first, he had just been happy to have a place where he wasn't hurt constantly. But now he did regret his choice of acting like this and he also suffered knowing that some of the snark was just was who he was. It made him think that he would never be liked let alone loved.

Sebastian sniffed softly as he let himself have a rare moment of self-pity as he remembered that he had never, ever been told by anyone that they loved him. It was a small thing in the scheme of things and Sebastian knew that he didn't need someone's hallow words and promises to go far in life but sometimes he just yearned for someone to tell that he was amazing and important and that they loved him.

Sebastian wrapped his blanket around himself just a little bit tighter as he thought of the depressing thoughts. His arm itched persistently telling him to get up and cut him arm but he wouldn't do it. He had worked hard to break his habit and one night one self-pity wasn't going to break his three week long streak since the last time he had slipped up.

Another reason that Dalton was great was the blazers that were worn all the time. Now to some people it may be the worst part of the school but Sebastian had quickly learned that it was very useful when covering up not only cuts but bruises that his Father had given him.

The Warbler flinched as a loud curse was heard from the other room. Oh God, everything was alright, no need to worry. Everything was alright. He softly rocked himself back and forth to the beat of his calming music for a good five minutes not calming down until he was sure his drunk Father wouldn't come barging in his room the next second. He calmed down and blinked tears out of his eyes.

Why, why did he have to live like this? Sure he could be a bit of an asshole but he didn't wish what he was going through on anyone. Not even his mother and father after all that they did to him. Regardless of what others might think he actually was a very forgiving person after all the practice saying sorry to his parents over the years for things that weren't his fault.

Another surprising fact was that Sebastian didn't sleep around like people thought he did. Everyone assumed that an out and proud in-your-face gay that went to bars using fake ids and made sexual comments must be sleeping around. And while it was a reasonable assumption, he'd give them that, it didn't mean that it didn't hurt just as bad when a careless comment was made.

In fact, the farthest Sebastian had gone sexually with anyone willingly was a blowjob and even then it was with someone that he really cared about, the only boyfriend he ever had that lasted for more than a week.

His name had been Taylor so his dad had thought he had met up with a nice girl in Paris and straightened out. Of course that had been until he went looking for Taylor on Facebook and realized she was a he. But still the fact that his Father had in an indirect way had said he was proud, without saying it in so many words of course, had made Sebastian so happy.

But even with his father disapproving after the first three weeks (he had been stalking Sebastian on Facebook and jumped on him with questions the moment he changed his status) he had honestly loved Taylor and his Father had been an ocean way so it didn't quite seem to matter at the time. Unfortunately, three months into their relationship Taylor had been hit by a drunk driver while driving home from Sebastian's and had died on impact. That was the longest relationship Sebastian had ever had and he had been drowning in depression for months after.

The truth of the matter was that Sebastian had a ton a problems including a neglecting mother, an abusive Father, a dead boyfriend, issues with cutting and let's not even mention his borderline anorexic behavior that erupts when he's nervous.

It wasn't like he did it on purpose, sometimes Sebastian just didn't want to eat or felt like he couldn't eat because the only thing that was good about him was his looks and he needed that to be absolutely perfect.

Yes, Sebastian knew he had problems and he tried to help himself and do all sorts of online phycology sessions and stuff but nothing helped. It was hard work showing up to school every day and be someone he wasn't but he was willing to do it if it meant no one ever found out just how screwed up he really was. He would do anything to hide it and keep up the appearance of everything being okay.

Sebastian took out his earplugs as the noise in the next room quieted down and his Father was most likely settling down to go to sleep. You would think that he would be more careful with who he let in the house while he was asleep if he is a state attorney. After all he had plenty of enemies because he sent their buddy to jail or tried to send them to jail but instead he seems to not even care.

While it seemed wrong sometimes Sebastian wished that one of the ladies would be an assassin and they would kill his Father and himself. It wasn't that he even was wishing for his Father's death but that he just wished that his own could end without him writing a tragic suicide note that explained everything.

But unfortunately he knew he couldn't leave this world with no one knowing his story, there just seemed to be something wrong about the thought of no one ever knowing. Of course, he still was terrified of his Father and of being put in an asylum and many other not at all insane reasons as to why he couldn't just tell someone.

Besides who would he tell it's not like he had many friends around here, or anywhere. None of the Warblers cared and the New Directions hatted his guts. He had formed a perfect prison for himself where if he did suddenly decide he couldn't take it anymore and told someone there was a good chance they would just say he was seeking attention and dismiss him out of hand.

Sebastian was glad no one from either Glee club would never know, either club knowing would just end up with a lot of legal problems and a very angry Mr. Smyth at the end of the day.

Yes, glad, he told himself. He really didn't want anyone to know. He didn't want to be saved and brought out of the sick cycle that was destroying him a little more every day. No he was fine and this was the way it was meant to be.

AN/ There will be more soon (hopefully) and this isn't planned to be just a one shot.

Tell me what you think and as always, please review. Thank you.