AN: A lot of people liked the Emmett and the Lottery fanfiction (read it, too, please!), so I decided to do another Emmett one. Review if you like it, review if you don't!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, Valentino or Jasper. Or Emmett, actually. I just try to steal his thoughts every once in a while.

Em's POV

Oh, crap.

Bella was going to kill us. Edward was going to kill us, too, but, frankly, I'm more concerned about Bella at the moment. I cannot believe we lost her baby. Boy, were we dead or what?

So, while me and Jazz await our fore-coming doom let me tell you what happened. It all starts two hours ago.

*** (Dramatic music; the scene is blurry at the edges, you know this kind of thing) ***

Bella and Edward were going to some sort of dance/ball thing (Edward was at med school AGAIN!). They felt sure that Nessie was going to be bored so they left her with me and Jasper. Carlisle was at the hospital on a night shift, Esme was somewhere contacting an architect for the newest model for a swimming pool (huh?), Rose and Alice were flying to Paris (it was the winter seasons' fashion shows for Valentino), Charlie was out with Sue Clearwater (Apparently they're dating. Moving ON!…) and oh, and Jake was… well, I don't know where the heck Jake is! I think he is at the Makah reservation for someone's wedding or baby shower or… I don't know.

As you can see the responsibility of babysitting has to go through a lot of people before being brought to me. Hey, I may be a guy but they're hurting me feelings here!

"Calm down, Emmett." Jasper said as waves of calmness hit me.

I called him a name I will not mention here (since it'll probably be beeped out anyway) for making me calm. Sometimes, you WANT to be mad!

"Emmett," he began reprovingly, "Renesmee is coming in 3 minutes. Will you watch your language?"

"Yes, Mother," I said sweetly.

I was just asking for it.

We were punching and kicking and goofing around when I felt someone's stare on the back on the back of my neck.

I looked up and I saw Bella in a beautiful golden evening gown and Edward in a tuxedo. Edward had Renesmee asleep in his arms. Bella was looking at us reprovingly as if to say, "I'm leaving my daughter with them?"

Jasper jumped to his feet and said hurriedly and politely, "Bella, you look lovely!"

Her eyes immediately narrowed.

"Nuh-uh. Not gonna happen! Edward, let's go home we are not going to that stupid…"

"Bella, love, calm down (that was Jasper's cue to calm her down). Emmett and Jazz can take care of her perfectly well. They've done it before." Edward soothed her.

"Yes, they have!" Bella said hysterically. "When there was adult supervision around!"

"Ouch!" I said. "Are you saying we can't take care of a child?"

"Emmett," she began, with a scoff. "You can't take care of yourself, let alone a two-year-old."

Okay, that hurt deep!

"Bella," I said as I took a deep breathe and instructed my voice not to crack. I hoped I wouldn't burst into (invisible) tears.

Jazz interrupted just then sending another shower of serenity their way (Edward also looked a little anxious, but not as much as Bella seemed to be).

"We're going to protect her and nothing is going to harm her. Alright? Me and Em can do this. Trust us."

Man, if he ever knew how wrong he was…

"Okay," Bella said, finally calm. "Emmett if anything happens to my baby, I will hunt you down like an animal and make you pay for it. Do you understand?"

"Seconded," agreed Edward.

"Hey!" I argued, "How come I get all the threats? Say some stuff to Jasper, too!"

"Yes, well, this goes to you Jazz, too." Bella said absent-mindedly. "But, especially for Emmett."

"Fine, I get it," I grumbled.

Edward handed Nessie to Jasper carefully, frightened not to wake her up. Then, he led Bella to the door and she threw Renesmee an anxious look as she got in the car. Edward threw us more of a warning glance.

I sighed. They can be so big on the melodrama sometimes.

"Shut up, Emmett," Edward muttered.

I thought about taunting him, but then decided against it. Poor guy was going to handle Bella's worry all night long. He didn't need any more hell from me.

"A wise decision," he whispered, with the hint of a smile.

Then he and Bella rode off in the Ferrari.

"Okay, what do we do now?" I immediately turned to ask Jasper. Renesmee was in his arms and she was moving slightly. I knew she was about to wake up.

"Um… feed her?" he said, looking equally confused.

"What if she's just eaten?"

"If she ha she has just eaten then we don't feed her!" Jasper said.

"Jazz… no." I said, shaking my head. "We are going to have to play with her."

There was a slight pause.

"What?" he said, sounding scared.

"Yes, I'm afraid we are going to have to wear the pink tutus" I said, paralyzed with fear myself.

AN: LOL!!! What do you think? Any ideas for the next chapter? I have a pretty good idea about what's going to happen in the story, but any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!