Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.
This story has more to it…this is just the beginning. For some reason I seem to be having a problem keeping it all in one tense so if you find a mistake, I apologize.
To Say The Words
To some the words "I love you" roll off the tongue as easily as their name. For others, they somehow hold the weight of the world in the three tiny words. They lay in the back of minds for years, untouched and too heavy to move. Dean Winchester is one of those people. The words haunt him at times. They are never that far from his mind. In several instances when they should have been said somehow silence has sufficed.
He lays there in a puddle of his blood and thinks of the people he should have said them to. Number one of course is Sam.
Sometimes his love for Sam is crushing and powerful. It is his driving force in moments of true terror, when he knows somewhere right now Sam needs his help. It is the reason he will forever be the protector. It is the reason his pain, his fears are always after Sam's. It is the only reason sometimes for waking up. Dean doesn't know if that is the way it should be, living for someone else. But he figures for him, it is the only way to be. The only way to exist is to look after his geek brother.
He studied the bloodied gash across his torso for a moment. He laid his head back down. Number two would be Cassie.
He could just look at her and fall in love. For those couple of months so long ago, she was like a dream to him. So effortless in all she did. So perfect. For if she had any flaw, he could only find it to be something that made her more beautiful in the end. He had told her the secret, told her the truth and in that instant he had never felt so good, so free, so honest. But of course his happiness was short-lived. She had thought he was crazy.
He sighed and couldn't help closing his eyes. He kept telling himself not to fall asleep but fatigue washed over him like an ocean. Number three would be his father. John Winchester, that elusive soul so perfect in Dean's eyes. His father is his only true measure of a man. All he wants to be: A good man and a good hunter. Dean would do anything for his father. Of course, there had been times when he had resented this life, this little hollow carved out of the world. But in the end, he could not be like Sam. He could not try to escape because this…this job…hunting…was his escape.
He groaned and studied the forest around him. He could just see the stars peeking out from underneath the fringe of the trees. His body was screaming. The deep gash was burning and blood was still escaping through his fingers. He swallowed thickly and heard the voice he knew would come.
"Dean!" Sam's voice rang through the darkness. The trees parted and Sam was suddenly right there beside him, where Dean always knew he would be. Sam's face was bathed in panic and in fear.
"Oh God, Dean. I've got to get you to a hospital." Already he was gathering Dean into his arms.
"No…" he croaked. "Let me walk." Sam looked at him like he was crazy.
"Are you sure?" He helped him stand. All of a sudden, it didn't seem like such a good idea anymore. The world swirled and Dean passed out.
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