A/N: Written in response to Jessa L'Rynn's August Challenge 2, which required that the Doctor and his Companion (I chose Ten and Rose) be stuck together, someone say "hunky-dory," someone make a completely out-of-character statement, and something explode. Hope I've done all right.

"This is all your fault."

Rose was sat huddled against the outside of the TARDIS, knees drawn up to her chin and one arm wrapped around her legs in an attempt to keep warm. With her hair plastered to the sides of her face in stiff green clumps and the tips of her ears and nose turning bright red in the wind that had become a bit chilly since the sun had begun to set, she was the picture of abject misery.

The Doctor turned his head and shot her an incredulous look. "My fault? I warned you not to touch any of the plants with the crimson flowers."

She vaguely recalled the warning being part of his rapid-fire lecture on the local flora, stuffed in between a mention of lilies the size of beach balls and an enthusiastic endorsement of a spice derived from something called a vanjog bush. "I thought you meant the ones with the funny little curly-cues coming out of the middle."

"No, those were more a sort of vermillion color. I meant the ones with the triangular petals."

Rose's eyes widened. "But I saw you pick one of those!" she protested, nodding towards the rather sorry-looking remains of said flower, which was poking out absurdly from behind his ear, covered in the same rapidly drying noxious green goo as the rest of him. He had stuck it there shortly after arriving, claiming that it complemented his tie quite nicely. Considering that his tie had been a rather lurid shade of green even before they'd both been slimed, Rose was inclined to disagree.

The Doctor shrugged noncommittally. "I only touched the flower. It's the growths near the base of the stem that you've got to watch out for."

Rose snorted, then promptly regretted it as a few flecks of the foul-smelling goo were sucked up her nose. "That would have been nice to know earlier. Maybe then it wouldn't have exploded and covered us both in this, this…" Her arm released her legs and gestured vaguely toward their now-crusty green forms as she searched for the right word. "Snot," she finally concluded, wrinkling her nearly numb nose in distaste.

He looked about to object, but she cut him off. "And if you knew that it could explode, then you should have known that it sets like cement as it dries." She raised her left hand, fingers firmly and rather permanently interlaced with his own, to illustrate her point.

He had the grace to look slightly abashed as his free hand came up to rub the back of his neck. "Well, to be fair, I did have other things on my mind. Getting out of there before some of the local wildlife turned up to investigate, for example. Some of the predators native to this planet use the sound of that explosion to alert them when potential prey's about. Believe me, you wouldn't want to still be there when a vinidik showed up. They're twice the size of a grizzly bear and about half as friendly."

Rose groaned, squeezed her eyes shut, and began rhythmically thumping the back of her head against the TARDIS. This wouldn't be quite so bad if they'd just been able to get inside, but the green goo had also sealed their pockets shut, preventing them from reaching their keys or the sonic screwdriver. On top of that, the spare key that was usually kept in the cubbyhole above the "P" had gone missing. The Doctor theorized that it had been stolen three planets back, when the TARDIS had been mobbed by a large flock of crow-like birds with a special liking for shiny objects, but Rose didn't really care what had happened to it. It was enough to know that it was gone.

The Doctor winced and awkwardly stretched his free hand around behind Rose's head to soften the impact. She groaned again and slumped bonelessly over to lean against his shoulder. When she peeked one eye open and squinted up at him, she was nauseated to find him grinning down at her.

"Aw, come on, it's not that bad," he cajoled with all the bouncy energy that came so naturally to this regeneration. "Soon, it'll start raining, the water will rehydrate this stuff and unstick us, we'll be able to get inside the TARDIS, and everything will be just hunky-dory." He paused. "Remind me to add that to the list of words never to use again."

"You've been predicting rain for the past three hours," she reminded him.

Still smiling, he pointed out, "Meteorology isn't precisely an exact science, you know. Is it really so terrible being stuck with me?" He emphasized the pun by flexing his trapped fingers as much as he could without causing either one of them pain.

She tiredly tilted her head up to get a better view of his face. "Not at first, but about two and a half hours ago I realized that I really need to visit the loo."

The smile abruptly slipped off his face and he self-consciously cleared his throat. "Ah. Yes. Well." He lapsed into an uncomfortable silence and looked away from her.

Rose, being of the mind that misery loves company, allowed herself to enjoy his discomfort for a few minutes before speaking again. "You know what I'm gonna do once I get all cleaned up?" The Doctor glanced down at her and made an inquiring noise in the back of his throat. "I'm gonna grab a flamethrower and torch every one of those snot flowers within a ten-mile radius."

The Doctor's eyebrows rose until they nearly disappeared into his unusually flat hair, plastered down as it was by the green goo. "Rose Marion Tyler, I'm surprised at you! Since when do you advocate the destruction of innocent plant life just because you had a bad experience? Besides," he added as an afterthought, "I don't have a flamethrower on the TARDIS."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Since I've spent the last three hours sitting on the rocky ground covered in this disgusting snot, that's since when. I'm cold, I'm hungry, I'm tired, my hand is cramping up from not moving, my bladder feels like it's about to burst, and I smell! I'll use an aerosol can and a lighter if I have to, but I'll be avenged on those flowers."

The Doctor sighed. "I'm sorry, Rose, there's not much I can do about most of that. There's a banana in my pocket, but it's sealed up just like everything else. I think I can make you a bit more comfortable, though. C'mere." He tugged on her hand to pull her closer to him.

A few minutes and some awkward maneuvering later, she was draped sideways across his lap with his arms wrapped around her, her head laying exhaustedly against his chest and the tail of his long coat twisted around to cover the lower half of her legs. He had tried to take it off entirely and give it to her, but it refused to come unstuck from his jacket. It wasn't the most comfortable of positions, but all the same, by the time the rain finally came an hour and a half later, Rose was asleep.

The Doctor didn't think she'd go through with her threat to burn all the flowers, but made sure to remove the hairspray from her bathroom before heading off to take his own shower.

Just in case.