Not Much of a Recovery

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or Breaking Dawn, and I will not own any of them for the rest of this story.

I will however, be taking the characters from these lovely stories, and make them do funny (and very crazy) things.

A/N: Just wanted to say thank you SO much to my beta, Fall Down Again Bella, she's pretty awesome.

And Jen, this chapter is for you! We'll be PLME's at Brown together in two years!

Bella POV

"Edward!" I hissed. No answer. "Psst!" I grabbed my pillow from behind me and threw it at his head. "HEY CULLEN!" I yelled.

He jumped in his seat, and looked around, thoroughly dazed. "Huh?"

I giggled. "Edward, wake up!"

He sat up in his chair and stretched his arms over his head. "That was quite the wake-up call love," he mumbled, still groggy.

"About time!" Alice said, walking into the room with a giant Victoria's Secret bag on her tiny arm. "It's 12:30 already little brother."

He rolled his eyes, and I grinned. "Hey Alice! Where's Rose this morning?"

"She and Emmett are packing the rest of-"

"Alice!" Edward yelled, suddenly wide awake.

"What?" I asked, my interest peaked. I turned to Edward. "Is this the surprise you've been trying to-?"

"What's in the bag Alice?" he asked, trying desperately to change the subject.

"You know I hate surprises," I mumbled under my breath. The corners of his lips twitched.

Alice shrugged. "Not too much really. Just some things for Bella, as usual."

"You look guilty," I said, staring her down. She looked too happy about what was in her bag.

"Well…Dr. Caceres said you were being discharged today…" I groaned, knowing this meant new clothes. Alice had brought me a new pair of designer sweats every day, claiming I couldn't be caught dead wearing a hospital gown…not even in a hospital.

"Bella," she warned. "Don't start." You are wearing this dress if I have to-"

"Dress?" I exclaimed. "What happened to sweats?"

"You're getting out of the hospital silly; you can't go outside in sweats! It's 95 degrees out!"

"Fine," I grumbled.

Alice squealed, and jumped up and down. "Rose promised she'd come down and help with your hair and stuff when she finished."

"Hair? Aww Aliceee!" I whined, sounding like a two year old.

"Bella, you promised you'd let me dress you up!" She reminded me.

"In exchange for convincing the doctor to get me something different for my arm," I mumbled. My left arm was covered in scratchy gauze and thick, white plaster. It was VERY uncomfortable.

Alice grinned. "I talked to your doctor."

"And?" I asked excitedly.

"You're stuck in that for the next three weeks."

"Al-ice! No fair!"

She shrugged. "Hey, you're just lucky you're double jointed, that helped tons. Besides, I figured out a different way to make it better."

"How?" I grumbled.

"These!" she answered with a blinding smile. She pulled a HUGE pack of sharpies out of her bag.

"Whatever Alice, just dress me," I muttered, knowing I would never get a say in the matter

She turned to Edward, who had fallen back asleep again. "EDWARD!" She yelled.

His eyes fluttered open. "What do you want Alice?"

"Get out."

"Five more minutes…" he mumbled sleepily.

She grabbed his arm and yanked him out of the chair, letting him fall onto the white tile. His eyes flew open. "What the hell Alice?!"

"I need you out."

"You could've just told me…" She glared at him, and he got up. "Alright, Alright, I'm going!"

Just as he was about to walk out of the door, I shot him a pleading glance. His eyes flashed to my arm and then my chest, to make sure I wasn't in pain. "You can't leave me here with her!" I begged.

He instantly relaxed, and walked over to my bed to kiss my forehead. "Sorry love, I don't have that much of a choice."

He turned and walked out of the room. "Thanks for all the help!" I called out sarcastically.

"Love you too!" He yelled back, chuckling.

Alice slammed the door shut after him, ran up to my bed, and started jumping up and down like a little girl. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Tell you what?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't play with me. What. Pshh…"

I cocked my head to the side. "I'm confused."

"He told you he loved you!"

"Alice, he was messing around."

"Oh my god, he did, didn't he! He finally-"

"No, he did not! For the final time, Edward is not in love with me. It's only been two weeks for gods' sakes…"

"But you've known each other for years!"

"Alice, quit it. I already told you; get it through your thick skull."

"But you love him! Is it so hard to believe that he loves you too?"

"LADIES!" We heard a deep voice yell, followed by a huge muscular idiot walking into the room.

I grinned, thankful for the interruption. "Hey Em."

"How's our favorite klutz doing today?"

"Alice has been torturing me," I replied simply.

"Trying to dress you up again huh?" I nodded. He bit his lip, looking guilty.

I sighed. "Just spit it out Em."

"I don't think you'll be too happy with my surprise then…"

"Surprise!" Rose yelled, stepping out from behind Emmett's massive body. "I'm here for Bella Barbie time!"

"Emm-ett!" I whined. Seems like I had been doing a lot of that today…

"Oh hush," Rose scolded. "We are trying to make you look beautiful. Now tell me, is that a crime?"

"Yes," I muttered.

Edward popped his head in through the door crack. "Can I come in now?"

"NO!" Alice yelled. "Everybody out! Rose, you stay."

"Where's Jasper?" I asked, realizing that only 5 out of the normal 6 were present.

"Outside!" We heard him yell.

"Thanks Jazz!" I yelled back. Alice looked at me quizzically, and I sighed. "He's the only one who has attempted to give me some kind of peace and quiet."

"We only do it 'cause we love you Bella!" Alice chirped up.

"Speaking of love," Rose said, "Has Edward-"

"NO, QUIT ASKING!" I yelled. "HE DOESN'T LOVE ME!"

"Um…Bella?" I glanced at the door to see the doctor peering in. "Bad time?"

I blushed bright red. "No, come in." Alice and Rose giggled. I glared at them.

"Well Bella, you've been recovering remarkably well, but I would advise against screaming like that, you might-"

"If my friends weren't being so pushy…" I grumbled.

She laughed. "I'm going to take you off of your IV, just as soon as I double check your x-rays, make sure everything is in order. Sounds good?" I nodded, and watched the doctor walk out the door to get…well…doctor stuff. Alice and Rose burst into giggles the moment she walked out the door.

"Not funny guys," I mumbled. Just then, I heard another knock on the door.

"Come in," Alice barely got out, still laughing like a hyena.

The door opened and a little girl ran up to me and grabbed onto my legs. "Bella!" she squealed.

"Be careful Johanna," Tanya cautioned, walking into the room after her daughter.

"Hey…Tan…ya…" Rose choked out. Rose and Tanya had really clicked these past two weeks, becoming friends fast.

"What's so funny?" Tanya asked. Rose pointed at me still giggling. Tanya sighed. "Figures. Is it dressing up time, or Edwards love for her?"

"Both," I muttered.

"Oooo I wanna help dress up Bella!" Johanna squealed.

Alice hiccupped, her giggles finally dying down. "Okay, why not! You can help me with clothes, Rose, you do her hair. Tanya, can you do her make-up? You're the expert."

"Sure," Tanya smiled. I had to admit, even through the annoyingness, Tanya and Johanna had fit perfectly into our little group.

Johanna, seeing that I was upset, reached up to pat my forehead. "Don't worry big sis, it won't be that bad. I'll make sure you're A-okay!"

I cracked a smile. She was just too cute! "Thanks little sis."

Alice rolled her eyes, pulling a curling iron out of her bag. "Are you serious Alice?" I asked. "Why on earth would you bring that thing to a hospital?"

"Just sit still Bella, you're gonna move the needle in your arm if you don't stop fidgeting."

"Can't we wait until they take it out?" I pleaded.

"Ugh, fine," she agreed. "Just lay down for now." Yes! "We can do your make-up without touching your arm." Nooooooo!

"Alice No!" I begged. "I'm supposed to be recovering in-"

"Bella?" Dr. Caceres pushed open the door. "Everything's all set."

"Finally," I groaned. "Get this thing out of me." She chuckled, and came over to remove the IV. "Don't look Johanna," I whispered.

She giggled. "Don't worry Bella, I'm gonna be a doctor too when I grow up! You know, when I first saw the doctor when I was really teeny, Mommy said I had to stay at in a special room for an extra few weeks, in this place called nick-you, 'cause I was too tiny. I slept in a tiny transparent box, and Mommy would come visit me till I was all better. So when I get older, I'm gonna help all the mommies and the too tiny babies so that they can be together forever!" I stared at her in shock, when a voice interrupted my daze.

"All done Bella! You didn't notice much though." Dr. Caceres smiled, her teeth perfectly straight. "I'll leave you here with your friends." I frowned, not wanting to be left at the mercy of Alice.

"Bye!" Johanna said cheerfully, as the doctor walked out the door.

"What was all of that?" I asked her.

"Mommy always distracts me when the doctors doing needle stuff to me, so I did the same for you!"

I ruffled her strawberry blonde hair. This child was truly something. "Thanks Johanna." I glanced at Tanya. "Nick-you?" I mouthed.

"N-I-C-U." I looked at her questioningly. "Later," she mouthed.

"WELL," Alice burst out, "No more distractions. Bella, it's time to get you looking gorgeous!"

I sighed, knowing that this was inevitable, and settled down to endure my torture.

So, how many of you thought Dr. Caceres was a guy?

Well, Review!!