A/N: A very short one-shot fanfic inspired by Leona Lewis' beautiful song "Bleeding Love"...Have fun and enjoy! And if you feel like it, leave me a nice review! Doumo!
Disclaimer: KENSHIN'S MY HUSBAND, so technically, I OWN HIM! Bwahahaha!! Naaahh...Just kiddin'...
I Keep Bleeding
By: Killua K.
She lowered her head and closed her eyes for a few seconds.
Trying to convince herself that she wasn't in a trance, she contemplated the seemingly surreal situation she was currently in, momentarily lingering in her desolate sanctuary from fallacious promises and emotional torment.
--
Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
--
Kaoru was absolutely certain that those most sought-after words came from his mouth. Seconds ago, her heart instantaneously jump-started into an earsplitting thud followed by a series of quick dissonant pounding that eventually made her somehow feel a little bit nauseous in the head. A cocktail of anonymous emotions sank into her sense of reality as she struggled to breathe out of the inevitable deluge. It was true, all right. Kenshin had finally articulated his once-ensconced feelings for her, illuminating the ambiguity that once obscured their "friendship".
And she had to savor the momentous celebration, or else she might lose her sole chance to do so.
--
Once or twice was enough
But it was all in vain
--
He gently held her shoulders and gingerly ran his trembling fingers down to her hands. Standing anxiously behind her, Kenshin slowly brought his cold pale face near her left hear; then with his right hand, he brushed away the dangling strands of Kaoru's ebony hair from her nape.
"I love you..." he whispered for the second time as his warm breath soothingly stroked her skin, though lasting only for a fleeting instant.
--
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen
--
Her eyes flung in astonishment when his utterly sweet confession echoed in her ears yet again. An absolute declaration of love...
...and now she was definitely certain that everything wasn't merely a product of hallucination or a consequence of fervent yearning for his affirmation.
--
But something happened
For the very first time with you
--
An abrupt explosion of passion from the once emotionally dormant Kenshin followed briefly, catching the still stunned Kaoru off guard. His powerful muscular arms grabbed her slim waist and locked her into his prison-like embrace, emphasizing his masculine authority at that time. It was an opportune moment to attest his genuine love for her, the perfect chance to belie all his past faults and shortcomings that previously overshadowed their relationship. He loved her with all of his heart and zeal. He adored her like a god, his only source of strength, inspiration and reason to continue living out his formerly miserable life as an indifferent assassin. This woman meant more than anything in the world.
And he somehow knew that it was perhaps the only time he could convey to her the intensity and sincerity of his intentions.
--
My heart melted into the ground
Found something new
--
Kaoru felt his warm lips pressed firmly against hers, his warm breath rushing into her own mouth. Suddenly, without any warning or whatsoever, Kenshin commandingly placed her on the warm tatami mats beneath their feet and implicitly told her that he desired to spend the chilly winter night with her. He lifted his left trembling hand and anxiously caressed her smooth tantalizing face, and as soon as he sensed that he was at a loss of words, he sealed her off with another kiss, lasting longer than the first one and expressing more of his infatuation with her.
Pulling away his flushed face temporarily, Kenshin gazed into Kaoru's huge sapphire blue eyes and, as he beamed, muttered those words softly...
"Make love to me, Kaoru-dono..."
--
And everyone's looking' round
Thinking I'm going crazy
--
It was a bliss that could've lingered for eternity.
It was a euphoria that could've stayed incessantly for countless nights.
But just like a night winter breeze passing fleetingly through the seams of a window...
Just like a spark bursting into great flames, and then eventually dying down into smoldering ashes...
It only lasted for a very, very, very brief period of time.
And it was even much sooner than what she expected.
--
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
--
Kaoru woke up, daylight blinding her eyes.
--
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
--
"Kenshin..?"
Sitting up straight while holding a warm blanket wrapped around her body, she realized that he was already gone. Maybe he's in the kitchen...preparing breakfast for both of us, she happily mused to herself. It was what she wanted to experience all along; waking up beside the man she adored the most or eating morning meals that he himself cooked was what she really desired ever since she knew that Kenshin was the sole man she could ever love.
Slowly, she stood up from the old futon they shared last night then walked across the cold room to dress up.
--
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
--
As she put on her kimono, she joyfully reminisced Kenshin's surprising confession and heart-melting kisses last night.
--
You cut me open and I
--
He was kind, gentle, warm...
And she exactly remembered his every touch.
--
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
--
She could still hear the reassuring way he uttered her name.
--
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
--
She could still feel the passionate way he sealed her shivering lips.
--
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
--
Even his enticing scent still engulfed her entire being...
--
You cut me open
--
Or so she thought...
--
Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
--
"Kaoru-chan!"
--
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
--
Suddenly interrupted in her reverie, Kaoru found a panting Megumi walking towards her. Megumi's face was pale as if all her blood was drawn out, and Kaoru was clueless as to why she sounded like there was something wrong.
"Why, Megumi-san? Nanka komatta koto aru?" she asked the lady who stared at her with faltering eyes.
--
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling
--
Megumi hesitated slightly when she noticed a huge difference in Kaoru's aura, doubting if she should indifferently drop the bomb at that very moment. Although Kaoru Kamiya was one emotionally strong and tough lady, Megumi somehow knew that what she would reveal might become Kaoru's vulnerability. But then...she'll eventually find out anyway even if I hide it from her. And I know it would be so much better if she'd learn the reality this soon...At least, there's more time for her to mend her would-be broken heart. After she contemplated her decision, Megumi inhaled deeply to ease the tension that was building up inside her; then after a few fleeting moments, she finally divulged the painful actuality that in the end shattered Kaoru's heart into pieces.
"Kenshin's gone..."
--
But nothin's greater
Than the rush that comes from your embrace
--
"He's gone, Kaoru-chan. We don't exactly know where he went to, since he never even left a letter or anything..."
--
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
--
Her arms started to tremble; her knees began to frantically wobble; her warm rosy face instantly turned into an ice statue.
"Wha...wh-what..?"
It was all she could murmur as her frail voice soon failed and barely escaped her tightening throat. Kaoru turned her head excruciatingly and briefly scanned the room. He was here...she thought agonizingly. Lifting her stiff heavy legs, she struggled to take a few steps from her position. The cold tatami mats beneath her feet, the pile of winter blankets neatly placed on one side, the slightly open windows that flooded the now-seemingly bare room with sunlight...
He was just here...she cried to herself again, though not a single sound escaped her shivering lips. She walked through every single thing that ruthlessly reminded her of last night's ephemeral fantasy. Randomly switching her hazy gaze here and there, she tried to find Kenshin amidst her confusion, believing that he merely managed to consummately hide somewhere beyond those cold walls.
Until finally, her numb feet unquestionably succumbed to her mind's last eager attempt to save what was left of her sanity.
Kaoru collapsed on her knees, and soon flooded herself with inevitable tears of anguish and desolation.
--
Yet everyone's looking 'round
Thinking that I'm going crazy
--
"...Gomenasai, Kaoru-san..."
'Twas all she could utter to appease her wailing friend, and Megumi cursed herself for not providing any other words of comfort.
But then she reckoned that neither her sympathy nor utter remorse could alleviate Kaoru's despair.
And she wept for she was incapable of anything, shutting herself in complete unbearable silence while she merely watched her friend's agony.
--
Maybe, maybe
--
Eventually, time managed to break-free from the powerful chains that bound it to the past.
--
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
--
And it beautifully zoomed before them...
At least they thought it did.
--
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
--
"She's not eating anything. She won't even drink her tea..." Megumi voiced out her growing concern to Sanosuke.
"Did she talk to you?" he asked the frustrated lady in front of him.
"No...And, I just –" she paused briefly and choked back her tears. "...Sano, I just don't know what to do with her. Ever since Kenshin abandoned her, she's never been the same. I mean..." Running her shaking fingers through her slightly messed hair, Megumi eyed Sano anxiously. "...sometimes, I just can't forgive myself. I-I can't accept the fact that, I made her like this. I...I killed Kaoru, Sano...I-I...killed her..."
Her voice trailing off, she broke down into stifled sobs. Seeing the distraught Megumi, Sanosuke gathered her into his arms and gently placed her shuddering head on his chest, the sole way he could do to soothe her pain.
"...it's...it's not your fault, Megumi," he assured her as he hugged her more tightly than ever. "Kaoru's like that because Kenshin left her without even saying anything. And now that we know the true reason why he did that, it's just too late to fix the mess he's done...It's that bastard's fault, Megumi. Not yours...No, no...It's not yours."
After pulling herself together, she peacefully looked at Sano's worried face, grinning slightly. "...Thank you, Sano," she murmured. "Now I must go and confront her once and for all."
Megumi smiled at him for the last time, and she turned around to head back to Kaoru's room. As she dragged her feet along the corridor, she could feel her heart gradually thud faster inside her chest.
--
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
--
The door slid open.
As if nothing happened, Kaoru stared blankly outside her window and gazed at the beautiful summer sky.
"Kaoru-chan...I want to talk to you."
It was Megumi.
And yet she couldn't face her; she couldn't turn around and stare into those huge daring eyes that implicitly challenged her.
"I know Kenshin's..."
His name revived a particular sorrow within her soul that she instinctively shed unseen tears.
"...Kenshin's been gone for a while now," regaining her composure, Megumi started to explain the situation to Kaoru. "...and I know, it's been awfully tough on you. I'm not insensitive enough for not to feel that."
How long has she been waiting for his indefinite arrival? How many agonizing days and excruciatingly cold nights have exactly passed since she last heard his unprecedented affirmation of love?
"But please..." she begged as the tone of her voice surprisingly rose. "...for your child's sake, move on, Kaoru-chan. You have to. Please..."
Kenshin deserted her, without even letting her know the truth in his impulsive decision.
"You can't just lock yourself up in this dark room everyday and hope that he'd come back. You can't just sit there by the window as you wait, and not eat or drink anything at all..."
She wanted to cover her ears by her hands and prevent Megumi's stinging words from echoing inside her head.
"If you can't take care of yourself," Megumi said. "If you can't even feel any sympathy for yourself, at least...Try to think of the living baby inside your womb!"
--
You cut me open and I
--
He couldn't forgive himself for what he had done.
--
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
--
Kenshin remembered the day he impetuously decided to depart from the woman he loved so dearly, in order to protect her from harm.
--
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
--
Another era, another war...
And it only meant that he needed to put an end to this irrational hostility, not as the infamous Hitokiri Battousai, but as Kenshin – the Rurouni Kenshin.
--
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
--
And now he doubted if his decision held any justification to Kaoru's extreme emotional torture. He knew that involving himself in ubiquitous political conflicts wasn't only a matter of necessity or obligation; he had been a samurai and an assassin after all, and he profoundly believed that it was actually a matter of fulfilling part of his destiny, that of which he couldn't easily do away with in his life.
--
You cut me open
--
"Shineeee!!" a man appeared from nowhere, grasping a broken sword in his hands.
--
And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
--
Kenshin woke up from his reverie and noticed the attacking man.
--
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see
--
Tightening his grip on his sakabatou, Kenshin lunged forward to block his sword.
"Die, Battousai!" the man shouted in intense fury. Like a mad demented man, he swung his sword aimlessly as he increasingly lost his focus. Their steel swords intensely absorbed each other's pressure as they, together with several hundred more men, continued fighting on the battlefield that was gradually becoming a horrendous mass grave by the minute.
--
I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
--
"YAHIKO!! Get more bowls of hot water!! And bring me more towels!!" Megumi shouted from the dark room as she looked at a perspiring Kaoru who lied on an old futon on the floor.
--
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
--
A flustered Yahiko nervously entered the door, carrying several towels and bowls in his hands. Kneeling beside Megumi, he placed down all the things he brought in and stared at the lady lying before him, mumbling words he vaguely heard.
"Is she...all right?" he asked Megumi who was twisting a warm damp towel that moment.
"She's having delusions right now...This is bad," she replied as she wiped Kaoru's pale trembling face. Megumi didn't know why, but somehow her heart started to race faster inside her tightening chest while she stared at Kaoru's distraught countenance. "Call Sano, Yahiko-kun...Tell him to bring me these herbs." Megumi handed out a piece of paper that she took out from her side pocket.
"And if possible...tell him to hurry."
The boy's eyes widened in disbelief as her words reverberated inside the cold bare room. However, he didn't hesitate any second, and simply followed her command.
--
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
--
Kenshin stood before the dead man lying on a crimson ground. Holding his right shoulder with his bloody left hand, he staggered as he attempted to walk away from his defeated enemy.
He looked up at the bright winter day sky and pulled off a grin on his battered face.
Kaoru...
He wondered what could've happened to her all these months. He wondered if she was well and healthy, and if she was waiting for him all along.
--
You cut me open and I
--
She felt something struggling inside her.
She felt something trying to break free within her body.
"Push, Kaoru!"
It was Megumi.
Kaoru couldn't move a single muscle in her exhausted eyelids. She wanted to open her eyes, wanted to let in some light into her world of darkness for once.
"C'mon, Kaoru! Dammit!! Don't fail on me...Not now!"
--
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
--
Dodging the man's attack, Kenshin jumped from his place and moved farther from his adversary. He gripped the handle of his sakabatou and finally ran towards his opponent in lightning speed.
"Ama-Kakeru-Ryu-no-hirameki!!" utilizing his most powerful sword technique, Kenshin shocked the man as he appeared from nowhere and finished him off in an instant.
--
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
--
Her baby...
Her baby was kicking inside her womb, struggling to break free from the dark lonely prison she unintentionally locked him in. She wished she could do something to save her child. She wished she had more strength to contract her muscles and aid him in his escape, but she was getting weaker and weaker every second.
"Kaoru-chan, PUSH!! C'mon!!" Megumi shouted hysterically as she barely felt the baby's petite head.
"Ugghhh..." Kaoru mumbled as she shook her trembling head on her pillow. Her almost lifeless fingers subconsciously clung onto the bloody futon sheets, and she tried all her might to follow Megumi's command.
--
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
--
He dragged his trembling legs on the blood-spattered earth as he used his heavily damaged sword to prop him up.
--
You cut me open and I
--
Air was rapidly escaping through her dry lips, and she vaguely heard Megumi's bold yet faltering voice more than ever.
--
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
--
Kenshin collapsed beneath a giant tree on a hill that overlooked the battlefield, numbness taking over his nerves. He painfully lifted his head and stared once again at the clear winter sky above him. Though his vision was becoming hazier every second, he could still see the stretch of clouds that peacefully hovered above, and in an instant, he managed to see Kaoru's beaming face.
"Kao..." his voice barely escaped his throat. "...ru..."
--
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
--
Sano entered the room and handed out the herbs to Megumi. Panting incessantly, he knelt down beside her and Yahiko, staring at an extremely fatigued and weak Kaoru who was lying on a futon drenched in blood.
"Kaoru...ga-ga..." he tried to catch his breath. "Ga...gambare yo!!"
"Hey, you can do this, Kaoru-chan! For Kenshin's sake!" Yahiko also shouted, hoping his plea would get through to her.
Megumi was already holding the baby's head, and she knew that after a few more contractions and effort from Kaoru, she could save the young child in her slightly shivering hands. Due to extreme depression and excessive fatigue, Kaoru labored prematurely, two months ahead of her schedule. And as Megumi tried all means to save both vulnerable lives, eventually, she felt that she might be just incapable of doing that.
--
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
--
Kaoru was desperately struggling in order to successfully deliver the child. Just a few more moments, she would finally become a mother, lighting up in immense delight as she receives her warm baby in her arms.
"C'mon, Kaoru...He's almost there...Just one last hard push and you're through, Kaoru..."
She heard Megumi's audacious voice that echoed inside her faint consciousness.
Then with renewed determination and will to live, Kaoru gathered all her strength and aimed to give a part of her life to the only existence that eternally bonded her to Kenshin, wherever he was.
Her eyes mightily opening and summoning light to thaw out her cold world of darkness, Kaoru pushed for the very last time as she called upon his name.
"KENSHIIIIIIIIINNNNN!!"
--
You cut me open and I
--
Almost a year of fatigue, exhaustion, depression and confusion sank into him.
And as he finally glanced at the serene crimson battlefield, he calmly closed his eyes and allowed the winter breeze to cradle him in its soothing arms.
I love you, Kaoru...
Suddenly, he saw her blurred form standing happily before him, smiling her ever beautiful sweet smile. Then treading gingerly, Kenshin followed her as she ushered him to that peaceful place.
--
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
--
"Uwaaahh!! Uwaahh!!"
Megumi cautiously washed the petite fragile boy in her hands and carefully wiped him in a thick warm blanket. "He's beautiful, Kaoru-chan," she murmured happily, laying down the crying living thing besides his mother who was finally liberated from physical and emotional exhaustion.
"Good job..." Megumi barely uttered as she looked at Kaoru's calm beaming countenance.
After a fleeting moment, a river of hot tears welled up from Megumi's eyes and flooded down on her shivering face - while the baby's heartbreaking cries reverberated relentlessly inside the cold dark room...
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
OWARI
A/N: It's short, right?! Hey did you like it? Was it good, or a lil bit angsty? I actually wanted to end it in a happy-happy way, but...I realized that it just didn't suit the song. Yeah the lyrics fit perfectly well, but see, if you try to listen to the real thing, it actually makes you feel a lil bit sad. And that's what I felt when I listened to it several times when I was trying to draw out some inspiration. So, blame Leona Lewis! Not me!! BWahahaha!! Just kiddin'! Please, oh please give me a review!! Thaaaankss!! XD