Authors Notes: Ok, so, while not my first fanfic, it's the first one in years. It's also the first I've published. So, yes, bear with me while I get into the swing of things...

1- This story is semi AU. You can imagine it takes place at some point after Kikoutei, semi-replacing Message. Not that I dislike Message, I just chose to write this way.

-enjoy.

'I was alone, I took a ride, I didn't know what I would find there…'

The radio filtered in and out of the speakers of the beat up old jeep. It didn't matter how many times the dial was tuned, the face plate hit, or the speakers banged against by the irritated driver. Old was old… and useless was useless. Shuu Rei Faun could have empathized with the old electronic if he weren't so furious at it. 'Work damn you just work… and how long is this damn light anyway!' It seemed he just had no patience anymore, not that he'd ever had much to begin with. Wasn't he always quick to rush in? But all the little things were adding up tonight. Too long at work … too long at this red light… too much time trying to drag music out of a beast that refused to work. He was hoping that the music could distract him, keep him from thinking about how restless he was. His fingers began to strum upon the cracking faux leather of the steering wheel, as he sought at least some outlet for his current disease while trapped here at this light. He'd thought taking the long way home would help to break up the utter monotony that his life had become: 'Wake up, work at the restaurant, go home and watch TV… repeat.' He grit his teeth and let the hot air of his breath filter through slowly. It wasn't helping him. Go home right away… drive around… do something else… it never helped. No matter what he seemed to try…no amount of bars or women or partying could fill that void… he couldn't replace his old life. He couldn't match that feel… nor could he really sum it up what he'd lost. It was all gone though… and it had to be. He'd accepted it… or he'd thought he had. Could a warrior's heart ever truly give that up?

The light finally changed to green, a blessed sight, yet as his foot let off the brake his eye caught a flash of movement coming on way too fast. He slammed back down on the pedal as quick as his reflexes could allow, the car beside him screeching as it drifted forward more than he. Two cars raced by, flying through the red light at speeds that wouldn't be appropriate anywhere outside of a drag race or some sort of video game. Recklessly the pair sped right through the light, swerving and dodging their way through honking cars as they raced along the overcrowded city street. Shuu swore under his breath, his heart pumping way too fast as he climbed out of his car. Ignoring the driver of the car behind him, who was shouting at him to get the old jeep going again, he made a traffic hazard of himself. His hefty frame jogged into the intersection and his eyes locked upon one of the racing cars, following it as the taillights began to dim in the neon night air. Desperately he followed the escaping cars with his eyes, trying to guess at where they could possibly be going… where the finish line might lie. There was a dull sweat forming on the palms of his hands, but he ignored it, rushing back to his car. The old beast revved as he turned the corner, trying to follow the trail. His car was much bigger than the pair had been… but his was a jeep and not some quick car tricked out for street racing. But he had his instincts to guide him… and while he hadn't always been the most perceptive of the five… there was no way he would fail right now. His mouth was dry and his eyes sharp and an excitement that hinted he actually was still alive pushed him on. The closest he'd felt to an adrenaline rush ran through him as he sped his own way out towards the mountain highways, pushing his hunk of junk to its limits.

He had to see… he had to see if his eyes were fooling him again. Was it a face he'd known passing him by? He had to know if the past was always going to dance before his eyes like this… in flashes of folly. The roads out onto the mountains were far too dark and poorly lit to justify driving this fast, but Shuu knew the other two were no doubt going faster. If the police hadn't caught them, he could only hope that he'd slip through safely as well. He craned his wheel this way and that, pumping his breaks as he battled with the curves of the road, defying the laws of physics at each turn. 'I bet they're drifting. Damn, I won't catch em like this.' While familiar with the concept, there was no way Shuu felt that now was a good time to attempt it. 'When'd I get so soft, so scared?' His brows pulled in, looking for that old power inside him. Looking for the man who'd run headlong into any danger without a second thought. He failed to take a chance. 'Tsk… weak.' He barreled along the roads anyway. He might not be who he once was… but he damn well wasn't backing down on this. Right and left… gentle and sharp, the turns kept tearing him this way and that. Solitary street lamps blurred by in the darkness of the night, a disorienting vertigo toying at the edge of his senses as it seemed he lost all concept of time and space in his pursuit. He knew it was possible the drivers hadn't even gone this way… that he was chasing a dream, following a speck of light that hadn't actually shined for him today. He wasn't going to give up on it though. Maybe… just maybe… this was what he'd been wanting all along. To just leave. Break out of that cage of routine and head out into the unknown.

The roads seemed to become more dangerous as his car began to descend, his speeds picking up on the downhill, forcing him to ride the brakes more than he wanted to. The turns pulled his jeep even more dangerously to their waiting falls, as if invisible strings sought to tug him off the road. The trees that lined the rocky slopes loomed over the road, as if they were old horrors seeking to drag him down. Even so, there was a determined grin plastered on his face, his forehead wet with a fine sheen of sweat. 'No way no way… I battled demons and warlords… no road's going to pull me down so easily! No mountain is going to break the warrior of stone!' The thoughts caused a pang of guilt to slither through his gut, as part of his mind quickly shouted to him that the old life was dead. The Samurai Troopers… they didn't exist. He took in a sharp breath, and forced that voice away, desperately. No… not tonight… he wasn't going to listen to that voice tonight! To hell with it all… tonight he could pretend he was still that warrior, that the armor would still answer his call if he needed it. The orb was gone, but Shuu didn't care. He pushed the jeep on harder, turning up the static that served as his radio as he tried to force out reality for now.

The mountain road gave way to what seemed to be a stretch of country highway, but Shuu's eyes were immediately drawn to the small gas station at the left. Though the station was old and half its lights burnt out, the pit stop was a bright beacon in the night sky. It seemed decidedly retro, which was odd to him. You'd expect something that touristy out in the boondocks, not so close to the city. Still, modified street cars were packed in it and around it, some sitting off road as they clustered around the location. Shuu pulled off to the right of the road, still quite a bit away from the station, his heart pounding as he stared forward and saw the two cars from before parked there. They seemed to be in the center of the other cars, the non-racers having formed a sort of crescent around them. Many people stood around the cars, cheering… talking… laughing. He stared in fascination, gaping at this display of a subculture he'd never really given all that much thought on. Street racing… drifting… it made for an awesome movie, but it'd never been his thing. He'd always thought most thrills sort of cheap in comparison to true battle. But… but… maybe he wasn't the only one who'd been missing that old feeling.

'Ok Shuu, time to go over there. Stop being a coward.' His car pulled away from the side of the road as slowly as though he knew he was out of place, he drove over to the gas station. He pulled in by a pump, though he'd already noticed a few heads turn his way. This was their turf, right? This was their world right now. He wasn't welcome. He licked his lips and silenced his engine, hearing the noisy banter and laughter behind him, the overly loud music throbbing out of the speakers of one of the cars. He pulled out his keys and shoved them into his jeans pockets, nothing but a sauce stained white t-shirt covering his large broad chest. He was still a big guy… impressive to most. He worked out, not his body could compare to his fighting days. A hand ran through his hair, betraying his nervousness. It would only take a moment… just one turn and a look to confirm if he'd really see it. No… not it. If he'd seen him. 'Come on Kongo… have you really become just this?' His eyes flicked to his side mirror, but of course it wouldn't be that simple. He let out a huff of air then opened his door, his large frame stepping down from the jeep. He glared at the ground for a moment after he slammed his door Shuut, noting the change in the vibe of the energy there. He let the feel of the people there speak to him, feed him information on an instinctive level, pleased with how easy at least that seemed to come back to him. There was quite a mix… yet somehow at the heart of it all… he felt someone calm. Someone at ease and in control… yet someone who'd suddenly begun to mirror his own feelings. He raised his eyes to one of the drivers he'd chased here, finding the shock of blond all too easily in this sea of black and dyed bright colors. His eyes locked upon one other… a lone pale amethyst blue, and past and present swam for just an instant.

'Seiji.' It really was him. No matter what, for that moment, Shuu just smiled. The relief on his face must have mirrored any of the times when he and the others had made it through a battle. He hadn't seen any of the others in years… years. The incident with the black armor… that'd been the last big battle for them. After that… damn it. He wasn't going to think of that memory; he wanted to think of the better ones. Fighting Arago hadn't been a 'good time'… no… but damn if it wasn't better than living stagnant like this. Arago had been a clear enemy… someone Shuu could hit with his true strength. He never said it… but compared to now he missed Arago. Dragging his mind away from that, for a minute he thought he was walking. He was getting closer to Seiji… but no one else. The obvious fact was he wasn't moving, but the former warrior of light was. The blond was walking over to him, with that calm look on his face that'd pissed Shuu off at times. Right now, hell, it was welcome. He took the opportunity to look his friend over, slightly baffled.

Now Seiji would never… never… look like some sort of street punk. Shuu knew deep inside that the other could never 'lower' himself that much. It just wouldn't be the same person anymore. But he wasn't wearing the often out of place formal clothes he normally did. There were no buttons on the black shirt that covered his chest. There was no smartly tailored blazer worn over it either. Jeans… actual denim jeans, were on his legs rather than a pair of slacks. Aside from shoes… that was it. Just a really simple outfit, casual, but on Seiji casual was like the plague. Or at least, on the Seiji Shuu remembered. It'd been a few years… was Shuu the only one who was having a hard time moving on then? The gap between them was closed to a couple of yards, and it dawned on the bigger man that he should speak. He didn't chase Seiji down just to take a peek and head off. He held out his hand, which prompted Seiji to tilt his head to the side. "Hey, been a while," the former warrior of stone offered. His voice had that old bravado to it, but he guessed that any of the guys would have seen through it in an instant. It didn't matter, he wasn't about to see one of them after all these years sounding like some emo kid… right? The blond offered a smirk and reached out, completing the hand shake. "Yeah… how've you been?" The blue-amethyst eyes were locked onto him… or at least that one was. Seemed 

Seiji was still covering one up. Did people still find his eyes too intense? Were they still that off putting to others? Shuu let his own gaze lock onto the other's, and his grin and boldness seemed to be a little more genuine. Yeah… even like this… Seiji's eyes were stronger than anyone else he knew. They didn't burn like Ryo's… but they would blind you if you looked too long. Or… something like that. That was probably as poetic as Shuu thought he could get on the whole matter. The two released hands, and for a moment it seemed like they'd just stand there and stare at each other. The cold night air whipped past them, breezing down through the mountains they'd just raced through. It was amazing how insulated the city was. Back in the day… back at the Yagyu manor… well… he'd been more used to nights like this. 'Ah damn… here I go again.' It was too easy to fall into the stagnant self pity that'd been growing inside him lately… he didn't want to do that with Seiji here! Hell, maybe… maybe they could hang out… talk about the old times. 'How in the world did I just manage to sound like both a teen and an old man there? Hang out? Old times? You're a mess Shuu.' But, inner monologue aside, being near Seiji was making him feel much better. Just what the doctor ordered… or something like that. The blonde seemed to scowl at him slightly. 'Oh… right… answer his question!'

"Oh, ya know me. Keep me fed and I'm a happy guy. How about you? Damn… racing, huh? I never thought you of all people would be into something like this!" The words sort of spewed out of his mouth at a rapid pace, trying to make up for the prolonged pause. For just a moment, Seiji looked back over his shoulder to the other street racers. He looked at them as if surprised that Shuu should bring that up right now. Which, Shuu thought was weird. So was the look that crossed Seiji's face for a moment. He groaned inside. He still wasn't sharp enough to read someone like Seiji. But, the subtle things had never… ever… been his strong suit. When the blond turned his attention back, though, there was that grin on his face. Slightly aloof… and definitely as if Seiji knew more than Shuu did right now. But, Shuu also knew Seiji wouldn't make it a point to belittle him… it wasn't in his virtue… or rather his nature to do so. Right? He shifted and crossed his arms, and Seiji nodded his head towards the road. 'Let's take a walk', the nod seemed to say. Shuu wasn't about to come off so dense that he couldn't pick up on that. The pair began away from the station, only to have a few people calling after Seiji. Some seemed hostile, as if they thought Shuu was here to start some trouble. Others just seemed to really want Seiji to come back. Popular guy… apparently. But the former warrior of light seemed able to smooth it all over with a few words that promised he'd be back. It made Shuu smirk in a way. Seiji better pick me over them! Gravel crunched beneath their feet, pebbles and dust lining the sides of the old asphalt. It was getting more and more chilly, but Shuu was a big guy. He didn't need a coat. Seiji seemed fine too, though his face had lost a bit of the cheer from before. It seemed more… as if he were mulling something over. As if he were trying to figure out a way to stop…

"You know… I'd thought we'd agreed… that… it was for the best."

The words were abrupt, and while polite, they had a frostiness that put the wind to shame. Shuu almost cringed, no doubt most people would have, but something in his gut stopped him. Something kept him from backing down to this man. Weren't they… equals? And hell…

"You guys agreed… I got outnumbered." His voice countered Seiji's hotly, louder than it should have been as always. But, just as he hadn't been intimidated by Seiji, the blond never flinched either. They kept walking though. The sounds of the racers behind them was dropping off slowly. From the corner of his eye, Shuu could see Seiji shake his head, the other's jaw was set. His own teeth clenched in a stubborn anticipation. Were they going to 

get into it again? Rehash that day? 'I'm ready for it this time. They can't blind side me… they can't take me by surprise and overwhelm me.' In fact… he was so ready for it… so ready to get into that argument again that his fists clenched up, his shoulders squared back. He heard a small sigh beside him, though, and a little of the fight ebbed out. Seiji still had that thoughtful look to his eyes… but… he didn't see any aggression to match what he was feeling.

"Perhaps we did do that unfairly to you. But…" Seiji stopped, and Shuu did also. The blonde's face was stern, resolute, unflinching. It was the look of a judge about to pass down the final verdict on the condemned. It was the look of a boss about to fire an employee who'd been caught breaking company policy. Absolute justice seemed to be carried in his eyes. "You agreed. You gave it up. It's over."

"No!!" The words jumped off his lips in an instant, years of pent up frustration and regret turning the end into a strangled groan of anguish. He would have punched something if Seiji weren't the only available target. He stared at the blond, so mad… so enraged… but at the same time he couldn't argue. Maybe he'd been duped, outnumbered, fooled into agreeing with them all that night. But it was exactly as Seiji said. At the end of that night, he'd agreed with them all. At the end of that night, he'd willingly given up the armor. He'd given it up, by choice. "But I can't stand this! I can't live like this. I won't." He felt like he hadn't had the chance back then to explain it. He hadn't been given his say in it. And now… see? This was exactly it. "I refuse to live like this… nothing can compare. I don't know how you all can do it… but I can't be normal. I can't… come down from it all."

He let out a long breath, shaking his head. He was an adult, right? There was no reason to throw such a tantrum. But… it did feel good to finally… finally… get that off his chest. To say it to one of the targets of his resentment. It was easy to sit here and try and blame them… but it fell on him too. He raked a hand through the hair that tickled the back of his neck. He couldn't apologize, pride and self righteousness wouldn't allow it, but he was at a loss. Where did he go now, what else did he say? His eyes challenged Seiji to answer him. The blond lowered his gaze for a moment, as if letting Shuu know he'd do the favor of obliging the request. The smaller man brought a hand up, to rub at his temples while he spoke.

"You need to find a way. It's impossible to go back, that's the simple… absolute… truth. No matter how much you might long to… Shuu… I'm sorry… but it is over." The same sentiment as before… yet delivered a little more sweetly. The blow softened with a pillow made of sand. Shuu grit his teeth against the words, against the reality that'd been crushing him down. What could he do? How could he make the shift from warrior… defender of the world really… to just… a… man? Oddly enough, Seiji offered him a sympathetic smile. He dropped the hand from his temple, watching as Shuu digested his words. For a moment, Shuu had the feeling, however slight, that Seiji was on his side. It helped… but it was confusing too.

"Why…" When the former swordsman shook his head, Shuu got the point. Wrong question, try something else. He looked around for a moment, trying to get his head on straight. Should he say everything he'd wanted to then? But… Seiji was being pretty clear about one thing. No going back. You couldn't change the past, and the armors weren't part of the future. He kicked a rock. "You honestly don't miss it then? You're fine with this?" He gestured off towards the gathered cars. Seiji followed with his eyes, and again there was that strange expression. The blond seemed to get over it quickly enough, though he kept his eyes on the cars.

"I don't miss the fighting. I don't miss questioning my heart, my resolve, whether the power I had was rooted in good or evil. I don't miss having my heart uncertain like that."

Shuu stared at Seiji, and he felt… defeated. So… it seemed like he was the only one who couldn't handle it then. He was alone in missing it all. Even the hardships… he'd give anything to have that all back, too. He shoved his hands into his pocket and gave Seiji a nod. He was a man… he wasn't going to keep chasing an impossible dream. He'd have to try and face this all head on. He'd have to find some way to build this new life into something he could be satisfied with. He gave Seiji a slight smile. "Gotcha… yeah… you're right." He took in a deep breath. "Well hey, I should get out of here. I mean, we're never supposed to see each other again… yeah? Part of what we decided. So yeah man, sorry for intruding on this." He jerked his thumb at the cars. Seiji watched him, but it seemed to Shuu the other was going on autopilot somehow. The blond wasn't moving, didn't look relieved or upset. He seemed rather… stoic. 'He holding something in?' He kept talking, as if that would solve everything. He was bound to run across something that would break the tension if he kept it up, right? "I was just so shocked to see you doin' something like that. Breakin' the law, racing in the street…"

Shuu trailed off, his brows furrowing. Now that he thought about it… thought about it like that… it was weird to find Seiji with this crowd. He came from a well known and honorable family… and from everything Shuu had assumed… he'd follow that tradition. Were the rest of the Dates really alright with their heir getting involved in this? Well hell… Seiji was an adult… they all were. They could do what they wished. Seiji had always liked racing so… so… why this sort then? He turned, examining Seiji. The blond stared back at him, as if waiting for Shuu to do something. But… what? What was it he was supposed to do? To… figure out? He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it. What if he was only going to get one chance at this? What was the right thing to say right now? Seiji would probably make sure they never met again if he said the wrong thing… he got that feeling. He looked between the blond and the cars, sure the answer was obvious yet failing to connect the dots. It wouldn't be the first time he'd missed the obvious. Usually he had to be smacked over the head with it. Seiji arched his eyebrows, time was running out on this chance. The clock was ticking, and Shuu had to say something.

"Seiji… you don't know how to put it behind you either… do you…?" As soon as he said it… he had a feeling it was right. It had to be. This reckless behavior… it was what they were both missing. The danger… and the challenge. Being a part of something most people didn't know about. Shuu almost smacked his head, seeing how obvious it was. "You miss it too."

The blond watched him for a few calm moments more, before he smiled and nodded his head. That smirk seemed to touch his lips, and he crossed his arms over his chest. "As always, it takes you forever to figure things out."