The Price to Pay
He woke up regretting sleeping in that old hammock again. His body was stiff and it hurt. "I'm too old for this" he mumbled.
It's not like he was very old, only 45 or was it 46 already? Never mind, but the fighting and all the injuries over the years had taken their toll. All the broken bones, strained muscles, ripped tendons and dislocated joints made him "old".
He sat up, best he could, and recognized that today was one of the good days, no need for his pain medication.
He slid out of the hammock and started to stretch very slowly and thoroughly. It was really time to stop using the hammock, but it was everything he had left from his brother Raphael, that and one of his sai.
After pushing the thought of his brother aside he grabbed Master Splinter's old walking cane and made his way out of the lab. He didn't bother checking the surveillance monitors. There was no real threat out there, not anymore…
The Lair was silent. He made it to the kitchen and thought about coffee or tea but opted for water. It was hard enough to fall asleep at night without the added caffeine. He grabbed the bread, a plate, some butter and jelly and sat down for his small meal.
An hour passed by and he went over to the dojo for morning training. As he sat foot into the dojo he gazed over to the weapons wall. There they were, his brothers remaining weapons. Today it hurt more...
The morning routine took longer than in past years. And although it has been years since his father died he could still hear his instructions in his head. After some katas he was already out of breath and started sweating and his breathing quickened. The panting and grunting echoed through the Lair.
When he heard the entrance being opened he made his way back into the living area.
Looking over to the door he saw an old enemy standing inside his home.
"Hello Karai." he said.
Karai bowed deep and greeted him. "Master." He gave up telling her not to call him Master years ago.
"I have your groceries, Master."
"Thank you, just put them on the table. I will tend to them later."
"I will put them away for you" she replied.
"Do as you please." He didn't mind her helping him, it was just a bad day for company.
"Master, I know you like this place, but please reconsider. The Foot headquarter is a safe place. You can breathe fresh air. And you would have company. It is dangerous and… lonesome for you to stay here."
He looked at her. She was older but she aged well. Her black hair already had some gray in it and her face had some wrinkles. His facial expression softened, he considered living topside a few times. A few years back he even tried to leave, but he couldn't. He wanted to stay close to his past.
"Thank you. But as always I have to decline. This is my home and I also have no intension to lead the foot."
Karai was disappointed as always, but she could understand him. After all that happened she didn't question his decision.
"Very well." She turned back to her task but paused in her movement. "Do you want some company?"
He considered her offer. In their youth he would have never thought there would be a time when he would want to spend time with Karai just to have someone around, now it was a nice idea. The comfort of another being in the empty home sounded nice, but today he was too close to the past and a face from his and his brothers history would hurt him more than it would do him any good.
He shook his head "No, thank you. I'm good. Be careful on your way out."
He turned around and went back to the lab. Karai put the last items in the cabinet and washed the plate he had left on the table in the morning. She bowed towards the laboratory and left.
Inside the lab he watched Karai leave through the monitors and turned to the large table. Today he would patrol around central park and he planned his route and which manhole he would use to and from the sewers. There were no real enemies left at least not the big ones. The shredder was dead once and for all, this, the turtles had made sure of. Hun was killed by Raphael after the leader of the purple dragons tried to kill Master Splinter. The rest of the purple dragons were defeated and without Shredder or Hun they never gained their power back. Bishop was imprisoned after torturing Casey and Raph although Raph was not mentioned in the police report. So the only criminals left in the city were simple street thugs, robbers and the occasional rapist.
He still could deal with them.
After planning everything through he had a lot of time before sundown, maybe some meditation would help with the emotional baggage he had to deal with today.
He entered the dojo again and took the old meditation mat that once belonged to Leonardo and placed it in the middle of the room. Lighting up some candles in front of him he sat down and tried to relax. It was then that he noticed that his body was tense.
His mind focused after a few minutes. He breathed deeply and sat like this for several hours. Just before sundown he opened his eyes. The candles had gone out. He stood up put everything back to its place and went over to the weapons wall. A last deep breath before he grabbed his gear. It was different than in the past too. He still had the wrappings and the pads but now he also had a holster for a Nunchaku, one for a Sai, belts and a scabbard for a Katana and a Bo staff. He couldn't patrol without his family by his side.
When he stepped out of the manhole he felt the cold air wrapping around his body. He took to the rooftops and scanned his surroundings thoroughly.
A few hours passed by but no thugs, no thieves or other criminals showed up tonight. Although he had planned tonight's route he decided to stray from it and went in a familiar direction. He knew this neighborhood, years of coming and going and nothing really changed. Like no fight ever took place. Only the small store that seemed to be newer than the rest of the buildings revealed the truth.
"2nd time around", the name hasn't changed but the owner has. April left after Casey died in the war with the foot. She couldn't stay, she had a child to take care of and the sight of the ones that didn't protect her husband was too much to bear. Maybe this was also one of the reasons he hasn't left the Lair. What if she comes back and tries to find him?
He shook his head to clear his mind. "Enough for today, I should go home and get back to sleep. Tomorrow is another day" he thought, turned and headed for the nearest manhole cover. It was getting harder to lift them.
When he got back to the Lair his eyes started to tear up. "I'm back!" He almost screamed through the empty home. He fought back the tears that tried to push through. But this time he could not stop them. His cheeks got wet and the fabric that was wrapped around his eyes started to darken. He stripped out of his gear and put the weapons carefully back into the dojo. Kneeling before them he cried out and his sobs filled the lair.
"Was that it? The price we had to pay? Everything we did, everything we went through just to end dead or alone. My brothers, my poor brothers. All I wanted was to stop this horrible future. The one I once witnessed. We defeated the shredder but at what cost? I never wanted this to happen! I'm all alone…"
Donatello sobbed for a while, then he stood up and went over to the living room. He put one of Michelangelo's favorite movies in the DVD player and sat down in front of the TV.
Some tears still came up once in a while. After the end of the movie Donnie slowly walked back into his lab and sat down in the hammock.
"Raphael died while he protected Leo who got cornered by a dozen foot soldiers. Master Splinter was killed by Shredder, he thought we would retreat when he murdered our father, but it had the opposite effect. Leo, Mikey and I killed Shredder and made sure he would stay dead this time. Leonardo was hurt really bad during the fight and didn't make it through the night. Michelangelo died together with Casey, I never found out what had happened to them, I still regret splitting up. And me… I survived, cursed with the lonely life I have to lead.
Karai had started to doubt her father's decisions a while back and actually fought in our favor and afterwards she apologized for everything that happened. She even tried to comfort me for the loss of my family. She and the rest of the foot clan swore allegiance to me and from that day on we met occasionally and helped each other out. At some point I even showed her the Lair and she started to visit me every so often always trying to convince me to stay with her and the rest of the foot clan. I don't know if it is out of pity or guilt or maybe a sense of connection we share, but I do appreciate her care." As Don thought back he got tired.
He lay down in the hammock and slipped into a dream of the past.
In his dreams he was together with his family once again. Playing and training, cuddling and grappling. Tears fell down his cheeks and a smile emerged. "I'm back."