I am pathetic! I was writing a Kogan story and I ended up with writer's block. So, I do what I always do when I get writers block. This. Or some variation of these. I just posted something like this for Peter/Neal in White Collar and now I'm posting this. As pathetic as I am, I hope you enjoy.
Some of these are longer then others, some way longer then others. Some are future or past, but most stay in the general time the show is taking place in now. They're not in a particular order, either.
Without further ado, I hope you enjoy these moments of Kogan. I apologize for any mistakes I didn't catch.
Big Time Moments
1. Trust
"Take my hand,"
Logan looks up, shocked. Kendall is hovering over him, his body turned so the shorter can see the water just behind them. The sun is setting over the horizon, casting a soft glow over the blonde. It takes Logan a moment to speak, "W-what?"
"Do you trust me?"
"Of course," the brunette says without a second of hesitation.
"Then take my hand."
Despite his fear, he reaches up and grasps Kendall's hand. The taller teen pulls him up with ease and leads him over to the cliff. Seeing the other man's face, the blonde laughs and asks, "Are you sure you trust me?"
"Of course I do!"
Kendall's taken back by Logan's anger, but he smiles and says, "Don't let go."
And the two jump off together.
2. Jealously
Logan actually likes Camille kissing him. Not that he likes her. He just doesn't swing that way, and truthfully, he has to fight the urge to throw up whenever her lips connect with his. But, he likes it because he sees the jealous looks Kendall gives her out of the corner of his eye. He sees his fists clench and his jaw locking as he looks away.
He likes it because that means Kendall feels the same way he does.
But then Kendall starts dating Jo, for him, and he has to remind himself that Kendall isn't gay.
Jo kisses the other blonde and Kendall smirks into the kiss, but not to Jo, to Logan.
And suddenly, Logan no longer likes it.
3. Knowledge
James is not dumb. Though, he even he has to admit you can easily make that mistake. He also has to admit that, when Logan and Kendall go off for "one on one buddy time" he gets annoyed. Not because they're going off for said buddy time, but because he has to do damage control. He hates it.
He hates that Carlos insists on going after them, sometimes because he's bored and sometimes to surprise them(oh, what a surprise that would be). He hates that Kendall's mom isn't dumb either and always wonders where they are, leaving James to come up with some half ass excuse -half of them she doesn't even buy, and that only leaves him with more problems.
And what he hates most is that the two have no clue. But, he supposes he prefers it that way.
He thinks that, it's a good thing they don't know what goes on while they're gone. They'd either stop, or he'd have to tell them he knows. That he's always known, and he knows they're just not ready for that.
As James watches the two slid out of the room for more buddy time, he honestly can't stop smiling because, well, they're happy. He sinks back into the couch as they shut the door and begins to think of something to keep Carlos entertained and Mrs. Knight off his back.
4. Balance
Logan's good at passing and shooting, but he's never really had the balance for skating. He plays hockey for fun, but he wants to join the team at school with his friends. Carlos tries to help first, but the two end up falling more often then James' fixes his hair. The pretty boy tries next but that turns into a worse disaster with a split lip and black eye(somehow, it's Carlos who retains these injures).
Finally, Kendall reaches over and takes his hands. He skates backwards and guides Logan across the ice. It takes time, but the brunette finally gets the hang of it and manages to make the team with his friends that year and the years after.
When no one else is around, the two hold hands while they skate.
5. Decency
Kendall is getting ready for his date with Jo. Logan is jealous and honestly a little heart broken but he helps him anyway. He knows how important it is to keep their cover. The blonde gets a phone call. Logan backs away slightly when he learns it's Jo. Kendall talks for a moment before walking over to the door and opens it. His girlfriend is standing there with a big smile. She comes in and throws her arms around Kendall. The other gives a smile, but turns to Logan and frowns, begging silently for the shorter boy to forgive him.
Logan hides in their room.
Jo sits Kendall down on the couch and tells her how happy she is. She tells him how her parents want to meet him and her brothers even came from Minnesota and are waiting in her apartment, and they're actually excited to meet him and talk about hockey.
The boy's stomach flips and he turns his head to the closed door of his and Logan's room. He can see the frown on the shorter teen's face, see the tears, even if he can't actually see him. He turns back to Jo and he opens his mouth to say 'Let's go," but instead, "I can't," comes out. She looks confused and hurt. He takes a deep breath before telling her everything. He ends with, "I'm bi, and...I'm in love with Logan."
She storms out only a minute later and when Logan emergence from their bedroom, he's crying. Kendall takes him in his arms and kisses his forehead. "Y-you didn't break up with h-her." the brown haired teen sobs out. He knows it's wrong. He knows he shouldn't have. Part of him just thinks that, maybe Kendall never will.
The blonde smiles sadly and brushes his hair with his fingers. He kisses Logan softly and says, "I think...I should have the decency to let her dump me."
6. Taste
"You taste like blueberries," Logan comments one day.
Kendall smirks, "You taste like my dick."
7. Babeh
The automatic doors slid open as Kendall gets closer to them. He makes his way through the lobby of the hospital and up the elevator to the third floor. People stare when he steps out, a bouquet of red roses in his hands. They smile and some giggle as they point. Everyone seems happy.
He looks up at the sign that says, "Delivery Ward," as he passes through the open doors. He moves past the rooms filled with new mothers until he reaches the very last one. He stops at the door and waits.
Logan comes out a minute later, shocked to see his husband standing there with flowers. He raises an eyebrow as he takes them, leaning forward to give the other man a kiss. "What are you doing here?"
"You said you couldn't come home tonight." Kendall begins to explain.
"I work," Logan confirmed, nodding his head.
"I wanted to give you these. To tie you over til tomorrow. Happy Valentines Day babeh. I love you,"
"I love you too, Kendall." the brunette says. The blonde kisses the doctor before heading off, looking back in time to see Logan put the flowers in a vase and smile.
8. Terror
Logan screams, jumping slightly as he buries his face into Kendall's shoulder. The blonde laughs, holding the shorter to him tighter. "It's just a movie, Logie...I promise none of it's real. And it it was, I'd make sure nothing would hurt you."
Logan smiles as he kisses Kendall's neck. He knows the movie isn't real. He knows Kendall would protect him. He just loves cuddling.
9. Gay
"I'm gay."
"I noticed."
"No!" Logan says, sitting up from his spot on the couch, "I mean, I'm gay, you're bi, and James and Carlos are...you know...them."
"So?"
"We're in a boy band."
Kendall shrugs, "Go figure."
10. Beginning.
"It's over, Kendall."
The blonde girl nearly laughs at her words. Of course it was over. He'd told her he was in love with someone else. Another guy. His best friend. How could it not be over? She wasn't gonna pretend it never happened. Pretend like they were still happy. She just couldn't do that, even if she wanted to.
Jo watches for an emotion to appear on the others' face. She wants to know if he loved her. Even if it was just a little. She wants to know how this is effecting him. And, honestly, she's so angry she wants him to be in as much pain as she's in.
He's not.
He gives her a sad smile, and he offers her a huge apology.
"Fuck off," she says, but they both know she doesn't mean it. She's hurt and it feels like her heart is breaking. In a fit, she thinks of telling Camille everything, but she decides that's a bad idea. Camille is head over heels for Logan, and though she thinks Logan's girlfriend deserves to know, she has to remind herself Camille and Logan aren't dating. She tells herself Logan never lead her on. She doesn't want to drag Camille down with her.
It takes Jo a week to admit she wants Kendall back. She wants him back more then anything. It takes all her willpower not to just walk up to him and kiss him senseless. She stops herself every time. Not only because she knows it'll only end bad, but because she sees how happy Kendall is with Logan.
She loves him and he loves someone else. They were happy, and it made her jealous and only breaks her heart more. She moves on from jealousy to pure rage soon after. She knows she should let it go, but he used her. He used her to hide, and oh god, he probably cheated on her, too!
She's thinking of ways to get revenge when Logan comes knocking on her door one day. His hands are shoved in his pockets and the soft smile that normally plays with his lips is absent, replaced with a deep frown. She thinks of slamming the door in his face, but, something about the way he says, "We need to talk," has her letting him in.
"It was my idea," he starts out, unable to move from the now closed door, "I was too scared. Kendall wanted to tell everyone about us, but I didn't want people to know I was gay. I said no to Kendall and when I finally realized I couldn't live without him, we started dating. I was still scared, so I suggested we date girls. To put up a cover." it's silent for a moment before he says, "I am so sorry, Jo. It was selfish and cruel and I should have never asked Kendall to do such a thing. Please, please don't be mad at him. Be mad at me. He was only trying to make me happy. You know the kind of guy Kendall is...Sometimes he loses sight of what's right and wrong for those he loves..."
She's silent for a moment before she clears her throat and says, "Tell Camille. She deserves to know."
"I already did." Logan informs her and manages to attempt a small smile. She finds herself smiling back a little.
She thought her life was over. Turned out, everyone's was just beginning.
11. One
Logan walks into his and Kendall's shared bedroom, his smile quickly turning into a frown. He raises an eyebrow at the blonde boy in front of him and decides with a soft chuckle that he'll bite, "And what, pray tell, do you think you're doing, Kendall Knight?"
Kendall only grins, jumping backward and plopping down on their beds with a small thud. The taller teen had pushed their beds together, putting their nightstands at either end. Logan took a step back and looked around. He was confused, but rather pleased. Kendall pats the spot next to him and Logan drops his book bag on the floor before laying down next to the other.
"Your mom will ask why our beds are together, you know." Logan comments as he closes his eyes, head resting against his pillow. He folds his arms over his stomach and takes a deep breath, enjoying the feel of Kendall next to him.
The blonde is turned on his side, head propped up in his hand. He smiles slightly, but if Logan's eyes were open, he would see the fear and uncertainty in his eyes. "And that's when we tell her we're together."
Logan's eyes snap open, but he only rolls on his side to face Kendall and smiles. It takes him a minute to answer, and remembering how bad they screwed up with Jo, he says, "Why don't we go tell her right now?" he makes a move to get up, but Kendall grabs his arm. He's smirking as he leans down and captures Logan's lips in his own. He traces the others' bottom lip with his tongue. The brunette opens his mouth and moans, meeting Kendall's tongue halfway with his own.
Logan pushes himself on top, straddling the other, kissing down Kendall's collarbone and chest, sucking, biting, purposely leaving marks. He wants people to know Kendall is his. He wants everyone to know.
12. Father
Kendall's father walks back into his life. It's been nearly ten years since he's seen him, the older Knight walking out on his family soon after Katie was born. The youngest Knight had never known her father. Many assumed she would be swept away, but they had all been wrong.
Strangely, it was Kendall who had been.
Ten years...and Kendall still recognized him. Still remembered his face, his laugh, the way his eyes crinkled when the older man thought something was amusing. Ten years of built up anger and frustration had been placed in one, solid punch to the jaw.
Somehow, his father weaseled his way back into his life. "Come on, son. I wanna do all the stuff we used to do together, but I can't if you don't let me."
The two start spending more time together. The others suspect the reason for the sudden reappearance is because soon, Kendall and the rest of Big Time Rush will be rich. No one says anything, though. Kendall has this look in his eye sometimes. One that no ones seen since he was six, sitting on his dad's leg. They all silently agree to keep an eye on the two.
A few months past, and suddenly the question, "You got any girls in your life?" Pops up again when hanging at the palm woods pool. It had on the first day Kendall decided to talk to his father again, but the leader had brushed it off then, not ready to tell him something so personal. The question is followed by, "There's something going on with that Logan kid. He likes you, a little too much then I remember."
Kendall chuckles a little, smiling as he says, "There used to be. Her name was Jo, but uh, we broke up when I told her I was bi."
At this, his father stiffens, but says nothing. His back is turned to his son, so the younger can't see his burning eyes.
"I like that Logan likes me a little more then he used to."
The statement hangs in the air for a moment. Kendall rubs his finger through his hair and smiles again, thinking of Logan. His father sits down next to him and sighs, resting a hand on his knee as he says, "You really should get a girl in your life."
The singer is shocked by the statement, but quickly recovers, "I could, but I don't want one. I want Logan." he notices the look on his father's face and frowns. He wants to defend Logan, because, honestly, the brunette is what keeps him sane and he wants his father to understand. He opens his mouth to say something, but ultimately closes it. He shouldn't have to defend Logan. His boyfriend didn't do anything wrong.
"Son," his father begins leaning back in his chair, "people like that...they're just messed up in the head."
Kendall is silent for a moment, his fist clenching at his sides, "People like that?" he averts his eyes but meets his father's burning glare with his own, "You mean people like me?"
"No, Kendall," his father laughs, "You're not messed up in the head. You're just confused. Tell you what, why don't you run upstairs and call Jo, hm? Make up. We can all hang out sometime, and tell you what, I'll tell you what it's like to be a real man."
The words hit him hard. "A real man?" he asks, his eyes widening, "A real man walks out on his family? A mother with no job, a six-year-old, and a newborn. Is that what it takes to be a real man, dad? I'm not a real man because I like guys? Because I lost my virginity to a guy? You...you have no right..." he's practically breathing fire by the time he's done talking. His body is shaking when he stands and he feels angrier then he did the first time he saw him again.
"Son-,"
"Leave," the blonde cuts him off, cringing at the word son, "and don't come back. I don't want to see you again."
Kendall tells everyone his father won't be coming back. No one asks why or says anything. They only nod and watch him storm off angrily. They all want to go after him, but, they figure he'll need some time alone.
Later that night, Kendall crawls into bed next to Logan and cries. The brunette feels like a six-year-old again. He feels as helpless and miserable as he did ten years ago when Kendall crawled into his bed, crying and telling him he didn't think his father was ever coming home. The shorter wraps his arm around him and holds him as tightly as he can. Tears gather in his eyes and soon they're both crying.
Words like, "He's wrong," and "This isn't your fault," aren't needed. They both know. They've dealt with what people have thought of them and neither could say it got to them anymore. Honestly, Logan wished that was what was wrong. Then at least he'd know how to fix it. He doesn't know what to say to make the pain go away. He wants to say something, anything. Some magic words that will erase all the memories and dry the tears. But, there are no magic words and it breaks his heart to know there's no escaping what the blonde was feeling.
Instead, he kisses away Kendall's tears and whispers over and over that he's there and he won't go anywhere. Kendall holds him closer and finally manages to fall asleep, his mouth moving to form a simple "thank you," before drifting off.
13. Love
Logan manages to walk into Kendall's room and somehow avoid the flying textbook before flopping down on the others bed. Kendall would normally be turned on by this, but he couldn't bring himself to tear his mind away from the fact that if he didn't get at least a B on tomorrow's math test, he would be on probation and wouldn't be able to play in Saturday's game.
"Having problems with math again?" Logan asks, turning so he's facing Kendall, who is barely managing his frustration at his desk.
"What are you doing here?" the question sounded meaner then he intended. His eyes glanced over at the clock, flickering back a second later, "Dude, coach is gonna kill you for cutting practice!"
"No he won't," the shorter freshmen snorted, "I'm just gonna tell him I was here, helping our Captain pass his math test." he stood up, reaching over to grab Kendall's 'misplaced' textbook. The blonde allowed himself a small peak, Logan's pants sliding off just a little...
He snapped his eyes back to the brunette's face when he stood straight, a huge grin plastered from cheek to cheek, "Awe, Logie, you care!"
The other snorted. Of course he cared. Instead of mentioning this, he merely punches Kendall in the arm lightly, placing the textbook on the desk and coming over so he's leaning over his friend, "You better love me for this." his breath danced across the blonde's cheek.
"I do love you, Logie."
14. Norwegian
Break ups are hard. They're even harder when neither one knows why they broke up in the first place. When all they both want to do is take the other and kiss them, but they don't because they're both either too stubborn or too scared. And it only sucks more when, even when both realize this, they're still fighting because they're too damn scared the other will reject them.
Both Logan and Kendall know it's James' dream to be famous, so, they don't let their feelings and fighting get in the way of their jobs. They manage to work together at the studio and during rehearsal, but it's hard to contain themselves once they get back to the Palm Woods. They don't even make it up to their apartment before they're at each others throats.
Carlos and James honestly has no idea what they're fighting about, and if the other two were to be completely truthful, neither do they.
Carlos and James duct out just as, "I hate you!" screams from Logan's frustrated form.
They hear, "I hate you, too!" through the closed door.
Minutes later, the screaming stops and the two think it's safe to come back out. They give each other a look when they notice neither boy is in sight.
"You don't think one killed the other and they're off hiding the body somewhere, do you?"
James snorts, "Don't be silly!"
A noise from the closest from across the hall has then both screaming and holding onto each other for dear life.
They slowly inch over, and it's Carlos who finds the courage to open the door.
The two are stunned to find Kendall and Logan huddled closely in the supply closest, Kendall pushing Logan up against the wall with his arms around him, claiming his lips. When the two pull apart and look at their audience, James lifts up two fingers, pointing almost accusingly at them, "In what language does 'I hate you' translate into let's make up and make out in the closet?"
"Norwegian!" Kendall exclaims before taking the doorknob and slamming the door shut.
15. Dream
Sometimes Logan sleeps in his boxers and Kendall's shirt. Nights like these, which keep happening more and more often now, always leaves Kendall breathless.
He can't believe how beautiful Logan looks. And sometimes, he has to reach out to touch the smaller boy, just to make sure he's real. Just to make sure it isn't all a dream.
And every time he does, he breaths a sigh of relief and finally drifts off to sleep, happy to know when he wakes up, Logan will be there.
What do you think?
xoxoxo
Clarissa!