Memories Are For The Heartbroken Chapter 1, a south of nowhere fanfic

Title: "Memories Are For The Heartbroken"

Disclaimer: You know the drill; I own nothing – zip, nada, bupkiss. So to recap, I don't own South of Nowhere – that little gem belongs to Tom Lynch and The-N. As for the song "Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off", rather unsurprisingly I don't own that either, that's property of Panic! At The Disco and whoever owns them.

Rating: NC-17/R/18 – a no, no for kiddies.

Summary: It was intended to be a one-parter smutty fic (which it still is), lets just say it's Spencer, a bed, her hand and a lot of memories – with a back-story at the beginning.

Author's Note: shakes head I don't know why I write smut – I know why I read it, but that's neither here nor there – I always have such a tricky time when it comes down to it – lets call that lack of experience – but alas as much as I loathe writing the stuff, I can't not write it. It's like a little switch gets flipped in my brain and I just have to put my perverted little ideas into a Word document. So, if this fic sucks, blame my lack of sleep and deep dislike for penning smut.

Feedback: Usually I don't mind if you leave it or not – call it mutual apathy – however this is one of the rare occasions when I'll say it would be more than appreciated.

Author's Note (cont): Blimey, this is a long note, aint it? (Sorry, digressing), I was listening to the song earlier (whilst on a Spashley site) and thought, I could do smutty-song-fic, if I change a few things around. Blah.

As for the content, I had about seventy different ideas swimming in my head and this is what came of them – some of my original thoughts were better, meh.

As for the back-story, I don't really know where it came from – I guess I'm just incapable of writing pure-smut (who would of thought it) – but if a handful of people like the fic, I might snowball it into an actual ongoing story (rather than just a one-shot).

Oh and the memories are in italics.

Sorry for all rambling.

All the thoughts of what had transpired between Ashley and herself, flooded through Spencer's mind, from the angry shouting to the muffled sobs, to the final blow ripping though her already shattered heart.

Spencer didn't want to remember all the pain she had both caused and suffered, the images kept rushing through her mind, the same scenes playing in the back of her eyes like a bad movie. To keep from screaming, she slammed her eyes shut and bit down on her lip, hard; her ivory teeth ripping through the pink flesh. As she felt the soft tissue rip, her teeth eased their grip on the now bleeding lip, her tongue subconsciously ran over the bruised lip connecting with the coppery taste of blood.

The muscles in her eyelids relaxed and once more her mind filled with another memory of Ashley, only this one was from a happier time. They were lying on Spencer's bed their limbs a tangle as they enjoyed a heated make-out session, their bodies rolling on top of each other, pushing the other back down as both girls struggled for dominance. As their hands disappeared into the snarled messes of each other's hair, the blonde had bitten down of her girlfriend's lip hard, harder than she had intended. The stunned brunette had pulled away from her lover, struggling to regain her breath, as she did Spencer noted the slithering trail of blood on Ashley's lips. The blonde had ferociously blushed as Ashley touched her newly bloody lip shooting her a stunned look. Feeling guilty for inflicting the minor injury on her girlfriend, Spencer tentatively kissed the lightly bleeding lip, letting her tongue run over the swollen lip, her taste buds struck with the metallic taste of Ashley's crimson blood.

The blonde still feeling guilty had made it up to her lover, several times.

Spencer sighed, her mind filling with memories of kissing Ashley, and touching Ashley, and making the brunette scream out her name as she writhed in ecstasy time after time.

Is it still me that makes you sweat?
Am I who you think about in bed?
When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress?
Then think of what you did
And how I hope to God he was worth it.
When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch your skin.
I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck
Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me
Girl I was it look past the sweat, a better love deserving of
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?
No, no, no you know it will always just be, me

Spencer stretched as she stood up, kicking her chair back into its place underneath the wooden bureau she had been working at. Her mind still flashed with memories of her beautiful ex-girlfriend as she turned her Cd player on.

She let out a bitter laugh as the mocking sound of Panic! At The Disco filled the small room. She let her body fall back onto her soft bed. With her feet hanging over the edge, she pushed herself upwards, letting her head lie on the pillows as her eyes softly closed, thoughts of Ashley squirming underneath her heated touch still prominent in her mind.

Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?

Subconsciously her right hand drifted onto her stomach and started to play with the hem of the small pair of shorts she was currently wearing. Her mind swam with times Ashley had lightly rested her hand at the pit of her stomach before her fingertips had continued south. Whether playful and teasing or urgent and aggressive, Ashley's hands always seemed to reach Spencer, where she needed her girlfriend the most.

From their first time together when Ashley had been so patient for months and had taken things as slowly and gently as possible, stopping every now and again, checking to make sure Spencer was comfortable. To times of heated passion in small toilet cubicles, when deftly moving hands had found sensitive areas emitting strangled cries of pleasure. To leisurely lovemaking sessions on Saturday mornings. Once Spencer and Ashley had taken their relationship to a physical level they couldn't keep their carnal desires at bay and consequently their hands off of each other.

Spencer's slender fingers had already started to move in and out of her aching heat before she had even registered pushing the soft cotton of her panties aside.

So I guess we're back to us, oh cameraman, swing the focus
In case I lost my train of thought, where was it that we last left off?
(Let's pick up, pick up)

A memory of Ashley's fingers moving swiftly inside of her as the brunette nipped at her neck flooded through Spencer, the shorter girl muttering about how beautiful the blonde looked when she was nearing her orgasm.

Spencer thrust two fingers deeper into herself, curling them upwards thinking of the first time her and Ashley had a quickie at school, "Spencer, I'm not sure, we could get…oh!" the brunette had lost her train of thought as soon as her lover had pushed three fingers into her already wet centre. As the taller girl's movements became more vigorous, she urged Ashley to wrap her legs around her waist. The smaller girl complied, the action pushing Spencer's fingers further into Ashley and the brunette was thankful that she was no longer standing as her legs were shaking so much she doubted that they would have supported her weight.

Oh now I do recall, we were just getting to the part
Where the shock sets in, and the stomach acid finds a new way to make you get sick.
I hope you didn't expect to get all of the attention.
Now let's not get selfish
Did you really think I'd let you kill this chorus?

As Spencer continued to plunge her fingers into herself, she remembered how Ashley had screamed an incoherent mix of "oh fuck", "god" and "don't stop" as she came, the sound of her gratification being combined with soft whimpers.

Ashley had been so easy to please, and Spencer had loved to please her girlfriend, in everyway she knew how – even in some ways she didn't know how.

"You know you don't have to…jezzzzussss!" was what had spilled from Ashley's mouth as the tip of Spencer's tongue came into contact with the brunette's hardening clit. The blonde had bitten back on a giggle that threatened to escape her lips as she heard Ashley's sharp intake of breath. Throwing a quick glance upwards at her girlfriend, Spencer let her tongue slowly circle Ashley's clit, pleased with the low moans that the brunette had started to make, the taller girl sucked the nub into her mouth.

She grinned at the memory and added a third finger to her now dripping wet core, the soft groans she started to emit reaching her ears as Ashley's gentle sighs.

Dance to this beat
Dance to this beat
Dance to this beat

"I want you. Right here. Right now. I don't care if you get sand places you don't want sand, I'm horny." Before Spencer could even start to protest Ashley's fingers were already inside of her, curing up, grazing her g-spot. And as soon a there were there, the digits were being drawn out, and thrust back in, the blonde no longer only wet due her quick swim in the sea.

Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster

Ashley was always a fast mover, always so deft and agile, the brunette could go from saying she needed to be inside of her lover to kneeling in front of Spencer as the blonde trembled with pleasure.

Spencer hardly had any experience when it came to sex, but she knew no matter how many people she ended up sleeping with, none of them would be able to top Ashley and what the brunette could do to her.

I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck
Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me
Girl I was it look past the sweat, a better love deserving of
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?
No, no, no you know it will always just be, me

She thought of the times when their bodies would move in synchronous, lips finding lips, hands finding fabric barriers and fingers finding warmth. "Do you want to me stop?" Ashley asked stilling her ministrations. "No, I just wanted to do this," her free hand slithered down Ashley's torso and into the brunette's panties. The smaller girl grinned as she unconsciously gasped, she soon recovered and her fingers started to glide back and forth out of Spencer, the taller girl matching each stroke, keeping the same tempo as her girlfriend.

Her fingers moved swiftly, pushing and pounding as fast as she could manage, her head a blur of memories and fantasies, a soft mutter of guilt on her lips as the words "sins of the flesh" slipped from her mouth. She was too far gone to even notice and any omission of Catholic guilt being replaced by the soft panting of her former lover's name.

The fingers moving weren't moving in her, they were moving inside of Ashley, pushing the brunette to the brink of ecstasy.

And they were Ashley's fingers moving deep within her, finding wet sensitivity, stirring feelings unknown to the blonde, unleashing want and need.

But Ashley wasn't inside of Spencer, she was hovering over her, telling her how beautiful she was, urging the taller girl on. Spencer's head rolled to the side, her climax imminent. She could feel Ashley's hand on her wrist, jerking her hand back and forth with more ferocity than she had ever before. The brunette's lips drifted over Spencer's neck, her tongue snaking out to taste the soft flesh. The blonde was too lost in the sensations she was causing herself to notice her soft cries and pant's of "Ash, Ash, Ash."

With one final thrust, her hips bucked off of the bed and her head ripped from side to side, her hair whipping back and forth over her glistening face. She could feel the cotton of her t-shirt coming into contact with her constricting stomach as she gasped for breath. Her left hand tangled in her duvet as her right stilled inside of her wet panties.

After what seemed like an eternity of regaining control of her breathing, and soon after the tremor's of her orgasm had stopped, Spencer slowly opened her heavy eyelids, her darkened blue orbs searching the room for the former love of her life. Even though she knew Ashley wasn't there, and the brunette that she had thought had been in the room with her was only a temporal hallucination, she couldn't help the tears that spilled from her heartbroken eyes.

So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Dance to this beat
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Dance to this beat
And hold a lover close
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster