I have my own TV station! Nick-at-Nite. Get it?
Nick: So as my last play failed miserably I began to revive my sense of hopelessness. But then I thought why not do a christmas play in April? I mean it makes sense! Right? So I recruited my favorite gang to help me!
Koenma: I cannot believe you think I will star in this.
Nick: You owe me.
Koenma: For what?
Nick: I Know What You Did Last Summer...
Koenma: Huh? I didn't do anything...
Nick: Damn it. It worked on Yusuke last night....
Koenma: And you thought it'd work on me?
Nick: Three out or four test it's proven to be positive.
Koenma: Three out of four?
Nick: Kuwabara, Yusuke and Botan. Hiei just hit me and said to leave him the hell alone.
Koenma: I see. Well I have lots of paperwork to complete.
Nick: Koenma, there's candy in it for you?
*Koenma shoots out of room like speeding bullet with a pacifier*
Nick: Knew it. He's a candiholic. Better go find the others.
*5 Minutes later*
Yusuke: WE HAVE TO GO AGAIN?
Kuwabara: I like it.
Kurama: It's really not all that bad, Yusuke.
Hiei: I'm refuse to go.
Nick: Oh come on guys! Please? It's easy! You have to pretend to be sleeping, pretend you see Santa and pretend you're watching him drive off! Easy as pie! Please?
Kurama: I see no problem in it.
Hiei: No.
Yusuke: Hell no.
Kuwabara: I'll go.
Nick: Please Yusuke? Please Hiei? Come on! Koenma's going to be in it!
Yusuke: So?
Nick: You suck. Fine. I'll tell Keiko you have been pilfering her underwear.
Yusuke: What the hell does pilfering mean?!
Kurama:Pilfer means to steal small items of little value, especially as a habit.
Nick: You've been stealing Keiko's underwear and I'm gonna tell her.
Yusuke: NO! Fine! I'll do your stupid-ass play!
Nick: YAY!! Hiei?
Hiei: No.
Nick: Please?
Hiei: No.
Nick: Please?
Hiei: No.
Nick: Please?
Hiei: No.
Nick: Pretty please?
Hiei: No.
Nick: What if I take you to Dairy Queen afterwards?
Hiei: Sweet snow?
Nick: Lots and lots of sweet snow.
Hiei:.......fine.
Nick: YAY!!!!
Kurama: What is the play?
Nick: 'Twas 8 Months Before Christmas, of course!
Yusuke: Never heard of it.
Nick: Of course you haven't. You've heard of the original. Twas the NIGHT before christmas.
Yusuke: Never heard of it either.
Nick: Your childhood was very deprived, wasn't it?
Yusuke: You've met my mom. You tell me.
Nick: I feel for you. But since you don't know the story. I'll tell you mine before we begin.
Yusuke: Oh my god.
Nick: Twas eight months before christmas and all through the house, everything was stirring including the mouse.
The morons weren't home because they didn't care
Who would have thought Koenma would be there?
The only one home was Hiei and he didn't like his bed
He slept in the window , not a word had been said
With Kurama next door taking a fox nap
They didn't seem to hear a thunderous clap.
In a puff of smoke who should appear?
Yusuke: This sucks.
Nick: Shut up I know.
Yusuke: Do something else!
Nick: OK! I've got something!
Kuwabara: What?
Nick: It's a song!
Kurama: A song?
Nick: Yes, a song! It's to the tune of Rudolph the red nosed reindeer.
Yusuke: Hey! I know that!
Kurama: Yusuke, I think the entire English speaking world knows that song.
Kuwabara: I forgot it.
Hiei: Who would sing about a mutated beast?
Kurama: Humans, Hiei. And he's a reindeer with a red nose. Not a mutated beast.
Hiei: How did he get the red nose?
Nick: Who cares?! Now on to my song.
Kurama, the red head demon
Wore a very pinkish suit
And if you ever saw him, you would even swear he's cute!
All of his human schoolmates
Never Laughed or Called him names
They always wanted Kurama to play their stupid human games
Then one clear-cut, moonless night
Hiei came to say
"Kurama with your mind so bright, won't you join my heist tonight?"
Then Koenma knew about him as he joined up with Hiei
Kurama the red head demon, you're in for a very bad day.
Awesome huh?
Yusuke: It was about Kurama!
Nick: So? It had Hiei and Koenma in it too!
Kuwabara: What about us, Nick?
Nick: What about you?
Kuwabara: Why can't the song be about us?
Yusuke: Cause Nick likes Kurama more than us.
Nick: So?
Hiei: Baka onna.
Nick: Shut it, small fry. I'll kick your ass.
Hiei: I'd like to see you try.
Nick: Why you!
*launches at Hiei, only to be held back by Kurama*
Nick: Let me at him! I'll rip out that stupid third eye of his for us!
Hiei: Hmph. Pathetic.
Kurama: Nick, we need him alive.
Nick: Can I at least rip out the eye?
Kurama: No.
Nick: Damn it all.
*Hour Later*
Nick: I'm Nick and I'm your stupid Storyteller
*Awkward clapping from children*
Nick: Tonight we're going to have a simple play.
About how stupid boys are. That's right girls. I'm going to show what the boys you're friends with now will be like when they're teenagers.
Example Number One: If he's an ass now, he won't grow out of it. Yusuke Urameshi was an ass as a kid and he hasn't gotten any better. Show
em' Yusuke.
Yusuke: Why the hell do I have to go first? And what's with me being an ass huh? I was just saying how you're going to get fat if your keep eating all that chocolate!
Nick: I rest my case. Example Number Two: If he's stupid now, he won't get any smarter. Chances are he'll get even dumber as the years go by, but he's a good guy deep down. Kazuma Kuwabara isn't exactly the brightest or the prettiest color in the crayon box but he's got a good heart and he's fiercely loyal. Even if he doesn't recognize you when you put your hair up in a ponytail and tries to hook you up with a friend who knows who I am.
Kuwabara: It happened one time, Nick! Just let it go!
Nick: It's happened 10 times, Kuwabara. 10! Now onto Example number three: If he's perfect in every single way, there's something wrong with you and him. No one's perfect so either you're convoluted or he's got a very very very dirty little secret. Of course I don't know anyone with that kind of problem here *cough Kurama cough*
Yusuke: *cough* NICK *cough
Nick: Shut up, dimwit. Now for example number four: If he's slightly psychotic or sword crazy, he's probably got some strange honor system in which if you survive his attack, you're worthy of his respect. Now if you know someone like this, I highly recommend you avoid them unless they're a package deal with someone who you think is absolutely perfect. *cough Hiei cough*
Hiei: You have yet to deflect one attack, onna.
Kurama: You haven't attacked her before, Hiei.
Nick: Yeah!
Hiei: I can change that.
Yusuke: Kick her ass.
Nick: I'll kick your ass
Kuwabara: I would just like to say at this moment that we are having home issues and our performace may suffer slightly.
Nick: Didn't know you knew such big words, Kuwa.
Kurama: That was uncalled for, Nick.
Nick: Shut it pretty boy.
BBBBBEEEEEEPPPPPP
Koenma: We interrupt this fanisode for some breaking news!
Botan: It seems rioting has broken out at the Nick at Nite TV station! Just hear that angry mob!
Angry Mob: DON'T YELL AT SHUICHI! DON'T YELL AT SHUICHI!
Botan: *Sweatdrop* All of the angry mob is crazy fangirls...
Koenma: Yes, they do tend to over react.
Nick: Do you two mind?! I was yelling at someone!
Yusuke: Yeah, binky breath! You're interrupting our play!
Kuwabara: This is a play?
Kurama: It appears so.
Hiei: Fools.
Nick: One more word, midget and I swear to Enma, I will kick your ass.
Kurama: I think it's time to end this fanisode.
Nick: Is that so?
Yusuke: Yea! You're way to pissy to work with! What is it?! Are you PMSing or something?
Nick: I'll show you PMSing.
Koenma: This is the end of this weeks crazy random fanisode from Nick! She couldn't tell you herself but she's happy you read this!
Bye-Bye!