A/N: Hi everyone! Welcome to Courting Rituals! This is my first fanfic and I want to share it with you guys! A little tid-bit on this fic. I got this idea while I was playing World of Warcraft (I know right? xD) I was Roleplaying with this Draenei Warrior and he was asking about advice to woo this female he'd been seeing. I was like 'That's a good story idea!' And thus, CR was born!

A/N #2: In case you fellow WoWies were wondering, I have a level 40 draenei frost mage named Shri on Moon Guard and a level 15 Blood Elf Retribution Paladin on Wyrmrest Accord. If you happen to have a character on either server, feel free to send me a whisper or a letter! I promise I'll respond! since on on there every day, I'll end up replying to you faster then the PMs on here (I'll still be on here to respond to you non wowies too so don't be discouraged to not send a PM or a review for that matter! xD) Roleplaying helps me get ideas to create works like these for you guys!

A/N #3: As you might have guessed, I tend to ramble a lot. xD I can't help that I'm chatty! But I will try to keep the notes under 3 on a weekly basis when I post a new chapter. Enjoy and review! Also this is in our favorite Spainard's point of view!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in Hetalia: Axis powers.

This is a homosexual relationship between two males. If you don't like then don't read.

Rated M for language, sexual themes, possibly violence and nudity in later chapter.

Chapter 1: The Act of Realization

Do you remember how you felt when your heart skipped a beat?

Did your palms get sweaty?

Did you have a tingly sensation in your stomach?

Like when you go into you garden and see that beautiful, intoxicating tomato just hanging by that scrawny green vine. Then you're like "Oh no! That stupid, scrawny green vine better not drop my precious tomato!" So you end up plucking it yourself.

And taking a gigantic bite out of her nice, round backside drinking her sweet juices. Then you use your finger to collect the little driplets that's on your chin so they don't get get and sticky and your finger won't get stuck to your chin for three hours.

..I love that feeling...But there was a problem.

See, I didn't have a tomato with me. No I got this feeling when I was around Lovi. His 'real' name's Romano but I like his human name, Lovino. It just tangoes off the tongue. But most of the time my mouth prefers the Cha-Cha so I go like this: 'Lovi!~' See how much easier and nicer it is to say? Don't worry, the swiggle's my personal Ole! on the word. Now he can tell if it's me when he's in complete and total darkness when I call him! ..So don't go using the swiggle okay~?

Then he'd be like "Why is there so many swiggle voices? Dammit, my macho Italian brain is confused!"

And since there isn't fifty Antonios-and there isn't right?- I claim the swiggle in the name of Spain!

Ahahahaha~..I'm getting off topic aren't I?

Well that's proof of what Lovi~ does to me! I thought I was sick at first so I told him that he could only visit me once every two weeks. He was soo cute with his 'I'm-acting-like-I-don't-care-but-I-kinda-do' scowly thing on his face. He listened though.

He still not happy about it though.

But then I had a meeting with my two closest friends: Francis and Gilbert!

And it actually went pretty well!

Francis was sipping on some of my Sangria I offered.("Ohonhonhonhon, you know I love your wine but it taste like crap compared to mine~.") Gilbert was taking pictures on his expensive phone to his boyfriend. ("Yeah baby! How awesome does my ass look at this angle of the chair?") I always forget his name. I think it starts with a 'Z' or something...

Anywho..

All the wine and picture taking was quite distracting so I had to get their attention.

xXxXx

"Guys. I think I'm dying."

For some reason, Francis spit his Sangria on the floor and Gilbert stop posing. Then they laughed at me! I mean I was so confused about my feelings with Lovi~ so this was kinda some serious business!

But they laughed..

And laughed some more..

Now they were cry-laughing..

I couldn't help but pout as I watched the two cry away and slap knees. I couldn't have been that funny right? It's not like I said, "Look at me! I'm a jalapeño! On a stick!" America showed me that once. Now that was funny.

Gilbert was the first to stop laughing, using his expensive phone to wipe his tears.

"Geez Anton. You are awesome at being slow! You're economy sucks balls with your recession and all that but you're not dying! Awesome text time!"

And with that he was back posing and texting on his phone but it was weird since it didn't have any buttons like mine did. He looked silly using his thumbs on imaginary buttons. And he thinks I'm slow? Ahahahaha~!

Francis cleared his throat before setting the wine down.

"What's the matter this time Antoine? Last time you said that you were stuck in your hall closet for thirty minutes."

Hey! Closets are scary! I wanted to see my Roja Bonita and BAM! The door slammed behind me. It was so dark and cramped in there! And we were so close too! I'm glad she didn't cut me. I do love petting her though. So soft..that scarf on her handle.

Sorry..got off topic again. I do that alot...ahahaha~

xXxXx

So then I spent twenty minutes explaining how I felt about Lovi~. Surprisingly, people get confused when I explain things. I'm a great explainer; I talk with my hands!

Even with my hands, they still just stared at me. Kinda hard too. I felt a little silly standing there and just a bit uncomfortable.

Soon they spoke at the same time.

"So you're in love with him?"

See I never experienced love before. My last relationship was with him. And there was no love whatsoever.

But!

These two had lovers in their lives so they must be right about me.

..Right?

So I nodded.

"But what do I do?" Seeing as I'm in love with my tomatos and I like Lovino like my tomatoes, I must be in love with him. Wow..I never thought I would be in love with that little country who sucked at sweeping..I'm soo old.

Even so, I don't want me and Lovi to wind up like my last relationship.

"Honhonhon. Oh sweet, gullible Antoine. Come sit on my lap and I'll tell you what to do."

There was a chair right next to him but I guess what he had to say was super secretive! So secretive that not even Gilbert had to know!

So I sat in his lap.

Now let me tell you something. I always felt something on my butt whenever I sat in Francis's lap. I heard something like "Sweet melon globes" too but he always told me it was my imagination.

..Kinda weird for me to imagine that all the time.

I need help.

"So you admit that you're falling for him. That's a good sign," Francis started, still feeling things on my butt. "..but do you plan on asking -though I'm not sure why- him out?"

I felt my face burn. Lovi? And me? With tomato-scented candles everywhere?

I nodded like five times.

"Okay..how do you plan to ask him?"

...Good question.

"Umm..I was just gonna ask him plainly and be as me as possible I guess."

Gilbert snorted-he was back on his super expensive phone again- and looked at me.

"Anton. Being you sucks! You need to add some flavor in your confession! When does your drama queen come back to your House."

More butt feeling..

"Next weekend I think.."

Something's poking my back...

Gilbert smirked as he took another picture on his phone.

"Good. Tomorrow you and your broke down car can come to Germany and I'll give you advice on how to awesomely ask out your she-man."

I frowned a little at that. I felt offended! Lovi~ was not a 'she-man'. I know he was 100% male...unless he got work done from America..Oh Lovi..please don't have work done..

Wait a second.."Why can't we do it today?"

"Because! I spent enough time with you today and I'm horny! Taking hot pictures of myself to my man in your House is lusty business."

And with that, Gilbert left me. Now that I think about it, my home does have a 'sensual' feel to it. I'm not called the "Country of Passion" for nothing after all.

Francis was busy laughing to himself before he picked me off his lap.

"Alas, I should be going as well. I also should be going to my naughty lover. Good luck tomorrow Antoine!"

Francis pretty much twirled out the front door.

With sparkles, roses, and a blown kiss.

Now I was alone.

I walked over the spill Francis made-I'll get to it later, I promise!- and I went to the kitchen window where Señor Tito hung from his scrawny green vine.

"Tomorrow's I guess the day Senor Tito! The first step into making Lovino...mine."

Now I just gotta wait until tomorrow.

Right after my siesta.